PSYCH-OUT!
by TallestCora
Summary: Continuation after "Lepidoptera and Arachnidia". Dib and Tak still fail to get Zim; so Dib gives Tak a necklace to enhance her psychic powers. But are psychic powers worth all the trouble? What are the Swollen Eyeball afraid of? What lies beneath a flaking facade? Do powers really come from the necklace? A Sasquatch, Yeti, and Bigfoot plot stuff! MIB, too! DATR, eventually. Fun !
1. Alice and The Mad Hatter?

DISCLAIMER: *Done in typical Hillbilly accent* I don't own nothin'! SO GET OUT OF HERE! *Shoots shotgun at you* Ya'll come back now, y'hear?!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This begins the tale of psychic powers. This story continues after "Lepidoptera and Arachnidia", that wonderful base-story which I can use to start many a story from! _Will_ be DATR, eventually. But first they have to stop yelling at each other! *Laughs*

BTW, in case you're confused, talking will be in double quotations, ie, "Like this", and thoughts will be in single quotes, 'Like this'.

Also, the quotes from Alice in Wonderland contain their original grammar.

I'm also irritated that the document manager didn't keep the original indentation I had! *Sighs* Too late to change it now! It's late, and my eyes are sleepy~! *Moans* Stupid , editing out triple exclamation points and indentations! The title was originally supposed to have three exclamation points, for impressive effect~!

Again, more Author's Notes will be at the end of the story!

* * *

**PSYCH-OUT!**

* * *

_...Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'_

_'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?'_

_'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it stays the same year for such a long time together.'_

_'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter._

_Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English..._

_-Excerpt from "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland", by Lewis Carroll_

* * *

In much a similar fashion, this was happening to Tak. Dib had insisted that she come along and dragged her into his room to show her something that could, quote, "Increase your psychic abilities!" Trying to insist that hers weren't entirely natural, but rather the product of a cybernetic implant, was impossible. He seemed to think that it had no basis on this one psychic "charm" thingy.

Whatever it was, she was pretty sure it wasn't exactly up to snuff; and she didn't care much, either. Ever since they'd teamed up to destroy Zim, (who seemed mysteriously impervious to physical destruction) he'd been pestering her about putting her psychic abilities to some serious use. Hypnotism wasn't useful enough, he seemed to think. In any case, he'd just now "remembered" something. She wasn't sure she should be placating him right now; she still needed to finish off their new plans for destroying Zim. She was planning on putting Dib right in the middle of it all, since he seemed to draw any cross-fire. That Dib had a mysteriously "paranormal" head, in her mind.

"Look, you know how you like putting that kind of, uhm, suggestion in peoples' heads?" He explained as he rifled through a very large bin of various psychic, paranormal stuff for the hundredth time since he'd suggested it. "Well, this will enhance any psychic abilities that you have!" Rolling her eyes, she hoped he'd find it soon so she didn't have to listen to this again. The next thing he said was sort-of terrifying, "I dunno why so many people died having it, maybe their brains couldn't handle the insane pressures of the psychic powers? Anyways, with this, you can use those psychic powers to help me capture and destroy Zim!"

Looking at him with slightly widened eyes, she was almost considering saying no first, before she'd even seen it. But then he pulled up a string of something, which had several other things attached to it. "A-HAH! There it is!" He said, before fiddling with a long, silver chain, and trying to untangle it from the mess of other "charming" implements. That done, he held it out to see in the bright light that streamed in through the window. ('The moon's suspiciously bright tonight,' was all Dib thought about it.)

"Why didn't you just turn on a light?" Asked Tak, as she noticed him examining it in the low light.

"Huh? Oh, no, that's okay -I don't need it. I'm used to working in low light." Responded Dib naturally, as if it was an everyday thing.

"But it could've saved you some time," Responded Tak factually.

Dib's brain seemed to halt as he thought about this. It didn't even seem to occur to him. Finally, he used his curious sense of ego to reply, slightly angered, "Look, do you want this, or not?" He held up the strange-looking, silver thing.

Sighing, and knowing that there was no way to get him off the subject until she just accepted it, proved whether it worked or not, and got on with business, Tak replied, "Oh, alRIGHT, ALRIGHT! *Sigh* Just explain it! I've got to get back to that plan..." Trailing off, she wondered if he was actually paying attention to her as he grinned cornily with an exclamation.

"OKAY, GREAT!" Holding up the shining bauble so she could see it, she almost gaped, sweat-dropping, at what shape it had.

"It's...a heart." She stated, simply.

"Urhm..." Looking down at it, Dib realized what she was talking about. The silver shape around the fuchsia vertical, oblong stone was indeed a heart-shape with engraved designs on it. About the size of a Raquet ball, it had a roundish thickness, suggesting more weight; yet wasn't so heavy. It was quite lovely. "Yeah."

"_IT'S...a...heart_." She stated again, punctuating each word to stress their value. She didn't know whether to laugh or get angry at this strange occurrence.

"I know that, but- well, anyways, the stone in the middle is a special kind of stone that enhances psychic powers! I know, that sounds rather silly and corny, but it is! It was made somewhere in South or Central America, and most people suspect that it's Mayan, although -"

"IT'S_A_HEART!" Shouted Tak loudly. He just didn't seem to be listening, although the information was useful, in some respects.

"Oh, come ON!" Replied Dib, "I doubt the ancient Mayans even _associated_ this shape with love!"

"And _I_ bet everyone _else_ _will_!" Replied Tak easily. This kid didn't seem to want to listen. She had contemplated that maybe if she went along with it, he'd stop being annoying. She didn't mind that he was so willing to share information; but after several days straight, she kind-of wanted to kill his head to stop him from talking. But he was just being even more annoying, now.

"Look, will you just _TRY_ it? And if it doesn't work, well, then, uhm..." he stopped as he tried to think up a good idea. It didn't work, so he just continued, "Oh, anyhow, just come _ON_! Besides, it's the _stone _that makes it work, not the silver -well, I_ think_...!" He trailed off as he examined it. Wanting to end this and get back to their plans of killing/capturing/torturing Zim, Tak finally acquiesced.

"Okay, FINE! Let's get this over with!..." She said, and instantly would know that this was the moment she'd rue for the rest of her life. Well, at least for a very good portion of it. Not exactly _long_; just horrible.

Grinning happily, Dib reached over un-permissed, and put the necklace on her: as if he didn't trust her to do it herself!

Glaring at him for personal space invasion, but looking down at the necklace, she didn't think it looked like anything special. "Okaaay...greaaat... Thanks." Then, looking up at him, she said, "What is it?"

He'd been leaning in close, as if he expected her to explode with psychic powers any second. Well, technically, he wouldn't really be able to see it; but still! "Do you...feel any..._different_!?" He said this with such a hilarous screech at the end that she almost had to laugh at how excited he was.

"I'm sorry, but I still feel the same as before you hung this _thing_ around my neck," she replied, hinting at the personal space invasion moment. Obviously, being an excited, 11-year old boy, he didn't notice. He also didn't seem to know the idea of tact, as his next comment showed.

"Cool! Then that means that maybe, when you use this, your head won't explode!" He said happily. She snarled. Did he just give her a potentially dangerous gift!?

"DIB!" She shouted. "Just tell me EXACTLY what you know about how anyone who possessed this _thingy_ fared, _specifically_ if they DIED, and, what kind of measures I'll have to take in order to use this _thingy_ safely!"

"Erphm! Yes!" Dib was suddenly jarred out of his excited happiness by the thought of potential doom; thankfully Gaz had somewhat been "training" him when to expect that. "The possible origins are unknown; however, several theories are still considered plausible. The first theory holds that it was a part of the sacred 'bowel' ritual, and that all holders had to undergo a strict coffee-regimen. The second one holds that it was for 'reanimated life' attempts: using telekenesis or other psychic powers to make it seem like someone had come back to life. This holds some significance, since the Mexicans also believed that priests could communicate with the dead, but that was several hundred years after this was first carved, and it has been long considered a fable. The third one holds that it was simply a gift a skilled craftsman made for his girlfriend, and that the psychic abilities-enhancement was unintentional. However, there is very little evidence for any of these things." His full explanation on the origins was unexpected a little stiff; as if it was rehearsed.

"Hhhmmm..." Tak considered these things thoughtfully. If the first one was true, then it would be very weird -although control over one's own bodily-functions was intriguing usage. The second one did seem the most useful purpose for it, but without much evidence it was hard to explain how one would do that. And the third one just plain sounded like a wild theory. However, something kept nagging in the back of her mind. Annoyed by it, she shook her head, and then replied to Dib's oration.

"I don't know if we can count on any of those to lend us a clue to its origins; let's just stick with the facts," she decided. "What about its previous owners?"

"Its prior owners all suffered some sort of calamity or set-back," replied Dib in that same slightly stiff manner. And was it her imagination, or were his eyes staring blankly? "There were reports I looked up, of ones using the necklace successfully at first; but then coming to find that it had either stopped working, or were unable to control its powers. Some were unable to use it altogether, while others fell victim to thieves who were willing to kill to get it. Some became despondent after using it too long, and others weren't able to control it from the start. Though there are no concrete explanations, some users were heard to report, ironically enough, 'It's like it didn't accept us.' I suppose the stone must require a mind of a certain type to utilize its power, but I'll have no proof until someone tries it." The end of his speech was reached, and Tak gave him a curious eye.

Waving her hand in front of his face, she was surprised to see that he was staring back at her in bemusement. "Uhh...what are you doing?" He asked as she waved her hand at him.

"Uhm, just -nevermind," she replied, slightly embarrassed. 'Okay, that did seem slightly unnatural; but he doesn't seem to be hypnotized, almost like my own suggestion-planting hypnosis. But that's impossible, since I wasn't trying to use it... Maybe he was just being weird, like usual?' As she thought this, Dib gave her a confused look, but didn't let this slow down the progress of discovery.

"Well, anyways, let's try something!" He suggested. "Why don't you try some telekinesis, or -ooh! ooh! PYROKENESIS!" Giggling like a little kid in a candy-store, he was having fun trying to think things up to experiment with.

"Why don't _I_ try a little suggestive hypnosis on you~?" She asked, smirking.

"Oh, come on! I'm trying to be serious, here! This is a major experiment!" Replied Dib, as if he hadn't just been giggling about telepathy.

"I'm not _trained_ in telekenesis, I'm _trained_ in hypnotic suggestions!" Replied Tak easily. "And besides, we'll have plenty of time for this, _AFTER_ we've completed those plans to destroy Zim." She decided she'd had enough of this frivolity and turned to escape his big-head ramblings.

"But come OOOONNN HERE~!" Exclaim-moaned Dib, as he followed after her when she turned to leave. "This is a great experiment~!" His words could be heard down the hall as they both left the room.

* * *

The next day, after another failed attempt at either capturing Zim or destroying him (and quite frankly, they couldn't remember which as they'd bumbled through various plans,) they'd come to one of at least three conclusions. The first two shall be revealed here, the others saved for later.

First: Zim is officially the hardest creature to eliminate in existence, and not even fire-extinguishers and laughing-gas could cure his pathetic excuse for a life.

Second: Dib had absolutely _NO_, and absolutely stressed on this, _NO!_ psychic abilities to speak of. He couldn't even receive telepathic warnings, like, "WATCH OUT FOR YOUR HEAD!" and "DON'T USE THE FIRE IN THE HOLE!" -which might need to be explained, except that I'm lazy and I don't want to! And so it won't be explained here. Even after experimenting all they wanted to with the necklace, the best Tak could do was to order Zim to do things, -though he was still terrible, causing mass mayhem, did most things stupidly, and his survival instinct kicked in before they could get him. But they'd come to the conclusion that solving the problems with organization -and Dib's apparent inexperience- was the key to helping them win. And it certainly didn't help that they were about at each other's necks with this failure to catch Zim. Or kill him. Whichever came first.

"Look, I'm SORRY!" Shouted Dib as he walked down the hallway, following Tak. "I didn't MEAN to hit you with the sharpen-er, uhm, thingy!"

"SHUT-UP! I don't care if it WAS your fault!" Shouted Tak angrily, though still not looking at him. "Just get this through your THICK HEAD like anything else: YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PARTNER!"

"Wh-AT!?" Exclaimed Dib in a slight shriek. That really hit low on his chart. He'd never had a partner before, so he was hoping that they'd work well together. "That's not FAIR! We just need to coordinate bet-"

"Just SHUT-UP!" Tak suddenly turned and shouted towards his head. "And leave me alone! I'm going home, and I DON'T wish to be disturbed!"

"But-!"

"EVER!"

Dib pouted as she left, and grumbled about not being able to understand aliens and stuff. He went back to his room and shut the door.

The next day, he was amazed to find Tak calling him after school. She didn't need to bother with going to school after she last disappeared; her current mission didn't require it. Although she still used a holographic disguise, it was a different one so no one would get suspicious. This day, Tak hadn't spoken with him at all, and he decided she was more than the usual amount of angry today. Getting a sudden call after school as he sat down to take notes at his lap-top, was curious.

"I wonder what she wants," he said as he answered the beeping screen that hovered in front of him. "Hello?"

"Good evening," replied Tak, smirking somewhat evilly, in a tone that made him want to re-think why he was working with her. "And how are _you_, Mr. Big Head, today?"

Glaring, Dib said, "Just _fine_, no thanks to _you_."

"Are you free right now?" She asked, after getting the reaction she'd been expecting.

"Uhm, well, I was just typing up these notes on Zim from today, -'cause he's up to something shady, he's hardly talking to anyone! And-" after Tak cleared her throat, he remembered he was getting off-track, and continued, "Anyways, after I get this typed up, I just have some quick homework to do. So, uhm, yeah, I suppose I'm free. What's up?"

"Good. Because I'll be over there in a few minutes. I have a surprise for you," she said with a smile, still with that disturbing tone in her voice, and then hung up on him.

"Uhm...ooohhhkaaaayyy... *Sigh* I wonder why all the girls I ever encounter are always scary?" He thought out loud, and then -surprisingly- heard Gaz voice her own two cents from the hallway.

"Because you have an Oedipus Complex?"

"Grr, shut-up, Gaz! And that doesn't even make sense; I hardly remember mother!" Replied Dib, no longer concerned with why she wanted to speak up at this very moment.

"Nyeh..." Gaz seemed to shrug her shoulders. "It could happen." Was all she said before disappearing again.

"Okay...then I guess it's back to work..." so he said, but for some reason Dib's head wouldn't quit wondering whether it was possible to have a "Mother Complex" without having a mother around. It was so absorbing a thought, that he didn't even notice how time had passed; and now it was about time for Tak to come. Deciding not to finish up his typing until she was gone, he saved his work and shut the lap-top.

There was a knock on the door that jarred him awake; as he'd been so absorbed in his thoughts that he couldn't help but jump in shock. "Wh-wh-who is it?"

"It's me, Tak," came the answer from the other side of his door. Sighing with relief, Dib gladly assented entrance.

"Come in," he replied, and, putting aside some of his notes, he tried to prepare himself for whatever weird tricks she might have up her sleeve. Just because. She _had_ been pretty mad at him, earlier.

"Hey..." she said, and trailed off as she saw him putting some of his stuff away. "What's up?"

"Neyh!?" Asked Dib, a bit too suddenly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just wondering if you were going to shoot me or something for losing Zim again."

Tak's eyes narrowed, but she said, "No. But I had been considering it."

"O-oh..." said Dib, wondering if he was glad that she hadn't.

"But then I decided that this might be a bit more productive," she said, and then produced a small, shining, silver and blue piece of something from her pak.

Looking at it closely from his safe distance at about four feet, Dib asked, "What is it?"

"Well, since you'd just so_ insistently _asked that I use this, 'Psychic Amplifier'," she pointed to the necklace that Dib also noticed was around her neck and not hidden like she usually did, "I thought that I'd solve that little problem of yours about you not picking up any psychic signals."

"Whauh!?" Said Dib. He was unaware that one could do this. "What is it? I mean, what'd you come up with?"

Sighing, and aware that they were entering that same little tête–à–tête, she simply stated, "I created a psychic transceiver that will translate the psychic signals into something your own brain can understand and receive. It'll help us to communicate."

"Woah...!" Was all Dib said, before it suddenly occurred to his brain that this was just too good. "Hey, wait a minute, this isn't some kind of an evil trap, is it?! I mean, are you seriously trying to make me believe that just that little...uhm...ring-looking thing, is going to help me do, uh, psychic things?"

Sighing, Tak said, "No, Dib, it's NOT going to 'help you do psychic things', it's just going to work as a communications link. And as for the technical aspect of it..." she then proceeded to explain everything about how it worked, which would look really cool written out here, but the basic gist of it was that it worked as a transceiver to receive Tak's personal psychic wavelength, and translate that into neural signals which would then be transmitted to his brain through his own body's natural electro-chemical nerve functions. It could essentially "piggy-back" a ride using them. After the talk, Dib was sitting there with his mouth wide open, looking sufficiently impressed.

"Well, is that enough technical information?" She asked, as she looked at his wide-mouthed head. Like a cod-fish. Just pathetic.

"Wow... Uh, that's, uh..." Dib mumbled, trying to find the words by forming them with his mouth instead of his brain, first.

"Anyways, are you willing to try it out, now?" She asked as she held it out to him.

"Well, uhm," Dib had gotten up off his chair, as he was officially curious about the item which she held, now. "I guess it could work..." he said as he leaned forward to inspect it. It was just an ordinary-looking piece of jewelry.

Ironically smiling, Dib felt like asking if the choice was indicative of the "heart-shaped necklace" problem. It did seem like an interesting choice. The metal was silver-ish, although he didn't know whether it was real silver or not. The little designs on the sides looked purely decorative, and the one big blue orb in the middle was shining like ...one big blue orb that was shining. It really wasn't all that special, and if he'd thought about it, it could probably pass for any sort of college ring. Complete with an annoying roommate. "No heart-shape, eh?" He said as he smirked. He watched as her eye narrowed, but she said nothing.

"I didn't like the style..." was all she said in reply to it. Then, tilting her head to one side a bit, she said in a slightly annoyed tone, "Do you want it, or not?!"

It looked like she'd probably hurt him for going any farther with this, but he just had to make sure. "And how do you know it'll work? I mean, if it translates things into my neuro-signals, then how can you be sure that it'll work?"

"Well, you DID use my ship an awful lot..." she smiled as she watched him squirm under her gaze.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot -the personality programming! It was erased, but I'm sure that the ship had some kind of memory of it...like a little 'black box' or something... Yeah," Was all he said, as he hoped he wasn't looking too nervous. 'Never show you're weak, never show you're we- Aw, crud! Just forget this!' He thought to himself.

"Put out your hand, Dib." Ordered Tak, at length while he squirmed with his uneasy reminiscing.

"But, but-!" He started, but she stared at him in such a way he thought it was hard to distinguish it from Gaz's gaze.

"_You_ forced me to use this _pathetic_ piece of jewelry, and _NOW IT'S YOUR TURN_!" She shouted and, without other warning, she grabbed his left arm and shoved the ring on a finger. Though Dib struggled, the sudden attack was just unexpected, and he found the ring shoved "lightly" onto his poor middle finger. _(A/N: Remember, the human chars have four fingers in this show, eh? Remember?!)_ Dunno why I just wrote that.

Dib pulled back at last when she'd let go, "Whaaaah!" Looking down at his arm and holding it like it'd been diseased or something, Dib said, "Okay, now what? ...!" Suddenly his face scrunched up in pain as he felt something sharp boring into the finger. "AAWW, AAAAWWWUUUGH!"

Finally the pain subsided, and he stood, holding his hand and some stray tears in. "Wh-wh-wh-"

"Good, the neuro-attachment is complete," she said, looking every bit like a little cheshire cat who was eating a blue-footed booby. 'Very funny,' she thought. It served him right for that pathetic attempt at shooting a flaming fire-extinguisher through the flaming garbage ca- oh, wait, that was that other time. 'PFoo, no matter! I'm tired of hearing his whining-baby excuses. Either he can work together _with_ me, or I'll just use this to take control of his brain -hopefully- it's not important which.'

"Wha- The _neuro-attachment_?! That felt like it drilled a hole through my _BONE_!" Exclaimed Dib in fright. "What'd you _do to me_!?"

"Oh, MAN-UP," replied Tak sharply. "It's just making a physical link with your hand. ...Oh, and YES, it _did_ drill a screw into your bone." She finished this with a smirk.

Glaring at her, he then said, "But it was already on my hand -why'd it have to drill a screw into it?!"

Deciding it'd be best _not_ to explain that she didn't want him to take it off, just in case she needed to take control of his brain, she simply shrugged. "It serves you right." And left it at that.

Dib glared at her, certain that she'd only wanted to bring him pain, but decided that making her angry would probably only facilitate painful problems; and he'd wanted to try out the thing, anyways. "Okay, then, let's see if it works... What am I thinking right now?"

"'What am I thinking right now'," she replied easily.

"What? No, that's what _I_ said!" Dib exclaimed.

"Well, you weren't _thinking _anything else!" Replied Tak, annoyed.

"No, I -oh, wait, I wasn't... Hah hah hah...!" He laughed nervously, but then said, "Okay, then... What number am I thinking of?"

"42," she replied. _(A/N: Oh, come on! Like nobody saw that Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference coming a MILE away! ...Just be glad it wasn't the Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure reference...)_

"Oh, wow! _Cool_!" Exclaimed Dib happily. "Okay, now YOU think of something!"

'Oh _great_, I can't _believe_ I'm stuck with this idiotic kid...' she directed this thought towards him, and it was instantly heard.

"Oh, wow! I actually heard that IN MY HEAD!" He exclaimed, grabbing his own head for emphasis. "... Hey, wait a minute! I'm not idiotic!"

"Aw, _shucks_, it worked," she replied with saccharine sweetness. 'Just how in the _world_ am I _ever_ going to _endure_?!' She thought at him again, just to jibe.

"Hey!" He exclaimed once again. He was getting even more annoying. "That's just _mean_!"

"Dib, you've _got_ to understand the difference between VERBAL talk and MENTAL talk! If you keep doing this, you're going to give away all our plans!" Tak decided some "Telepathic Etiquette" might come in handy. And they couldn't wait until he learned it on his own.

Glaring, Dib hated the fact that she was right. "Okay, but only if you promise to stop insulting me! Okay?!"

Pouting that her fun was over, Tak simply said, "Fine. Now, we're going to try having _two _conversations. _PLEASE_ try to keep up, or I'll have no choice but to use your head as an intergalactic speed-bump!"

"Two conversations?" Replied Dib with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. One _mental_, the other _verbal._ Let's start with something simple: Hey, nice weather we're having, huh?" She said, then added mentally, 'So, how are those plans coming?'

"A- oh, we've already started? Okay...well, no, wait...uhm, 'N-Nice weather, right!'" Then he thought, 'Plans? What plans?' and, 'Am I doing this right?'

'Good, it looks like you're keeping up. We may have to do this often, so keep practicing.' Tak then said, "It was all cloudy yesterday, but today it's so warm, I like it!"

"Uhm, good, yeah, I, uh, know what you mean!" Dib grinned cheesily. 'How am I doing?'

'I think your acting needs a little work,' replied Tak. "I sure could go for some ice-cream!"

"Hey! It's pretty good for not knowing what I'm acting for!" He stated, completely failing practice. 'And seriously? Ice-cream?!'

"DANG-IT, Dib!" Shouted Tak. She growled, trying to calm herself down. This was going to take a while. Sighing, she said, "Let's start over. _TRY_ and not reply to the _opposite_ conversations this time!"

"U-Oh," replied Dib, realizing what he'd just done. "I'll try."

"Let's start again: Hey, what's up?" Then, thinking, 'Let's try not to mess up, now.'

"Why'd you start a new conversation?!" Exclaimed Dib, before he realized, "Oh! I mean, Nothing much..."

* * *

After an hour and a half of trying to drill Dib in telepathic conversational techniques, they took a break. Dib went downstairs to get a drink of something, and Tak followed because there was nothing better to do. Then they tried concentrating on more telepathic conversation practice, but when it was time for Mysterious Mysteries, Tak completely lost his focus. She decided there was nothing more to do that night, and left.

Dib had a hard time sleeping that night; not because of anything special, but just that he was so excited about this new "psychic link" thing that he kept pestering Tak. However, soon she removed the necklace from her person and the link went dead. He'd been quite upset about that, but he figured it was time to get the rest of his work done, if he wasn't going to sleep yet.

The next day at school, though slightly tired, Dib kept an eye on Zim to find out what his plan was. He'd been awfully quite, and was tilting his head once in a while, like he was trying to catch a sound. Although he couldn't quite clearly see, it also seemed to Dib as if his wig raised every few seconds a couple of centimeters. Was he nervous? Were his antenna twitching in response to something? 'Wait, what do Irken antenna do again? Dang-it! I wish I could ask Tak...' Thought Dib as he glared on in silence.

"DIB!" Shouted Ms. Bitters. Looks like Dib had been quiet far too long, and she suspected he wasn't paying attention. "Tell the class, 'what is the area of Sarcasimo's principle'?" She waited patiently as she enjoyed watching him squirm in surprise.

"Ur-uhm! Yeah, Sarcasimo's principle's area... 'The principle in this area appeals to all languages of no particular origin, to come up with some really good sarcastic, biting responses.' Or something..." Rolling his eyes with a "psh", he was glad he was smart enough to wing it on the fly when he wasn't paying attention. It saved him so much pain from his already painful life.

Glaring and snarling with what the whole class had come to know was actually esteemed pleasure, Ms. Bitters said, "That is correct. You even got the eye-roll right. Next year you have Mrs. Cuttingham. She's _especially good_ with teenagers."

Blinking and raising an eyebrow, Dib replied, "But, that's just 5th grade!"

"Exactly." She then shadowly-slithered back up to the blackboard, and wrote something on it. "This next part will be on the test. Unfortunately, we're only allowed to have 70 pop-quizzes in a year, and thanks to our two friends, ZIM and DIB," she sent a hissful glare at each of them, "I've already used up all of them." The entire class sighed with relief. Perhaps there was a use for those guys after all? With about three months left 'till Summer Vacation, it was worth it. "BUT! That just means that I'll be giving you all EXTRA TEST QUESTIONS!" Everyone in the class moaned, and sent hateful glares towards the two aforementioned offenders. They were going to get them on the playground at lunch time.

Still confused as to her previous statement, but now worried about avoiding some angry school-bullies, Dib just said, "Well, at least we'll be prepared for it!" and tried grinning cheesily. Everyone else still sent him hateful glares, excepting Zim, who was actually not paying any attention. Irritated that he wasn't enduring the hateful glares as well, Dib said, "Hey, Zim, are you ready for 'Sardonism: Ironic Meets Sarcastic?'" as he read off the words Ms. Bitters had just written with squeaking chalk on the blackboard.

"Ye-heaaahhh!?" Squeak-'huh'ed Zim as he jumped up in his chair. Dib was entertained seeing his wig almost go flying off his head as he leapt. "Uh-uh, I, I uhm-!"

Seething with renewed vigor at his obvious obliviousness, Ms. Bitters descended upon her helpless prey, and demanded he read from the book their next chapter. Dib grinned and snickered at this, looking at the other classmates for their approval, but they all were too busy paying attention to Zim. Smiling, Dib let himself relax and turned back to his book, listening to Zim's horribly-awful line-readings. There were actual paragraphs after this. Just wonderful...

'Heh. I wonder if his antenna will knock his wig off with enough shock?' Dib thought to himself sardonically. '"With enough shock?" What in the heck are you thinking about?' Came a new, foreign thought into his head.

Blinking in shock, Dib had to cover his mouth to make sure he didn't gasp in surprise. 'Tak! What are you doing?! Why'd you contact me?!' He thought back.

'What, I can't practice my psychic powers without _your permission_, now?' She thought back sarcastically. 'I was just trying out some long-distance telepathy. I've found it works best with you since you have the transceiver; but it's still hard to concentrate on other peoples' minds when they're farther away.'

'But how do you focus on someone's mind if they're not psychics?' Dib thought back, after taking a look around to make sure no one knew he wasn't paying attention to the book. Most of the class was either paying attention to Zim's horrible reading, or zoning out. So he looked down at his book and stared intently.

'Lots of people have a latent psychic ability, -unlike _you_- but I can control even those who don't if I'm looking straight at them. However, I still haven't figured out how to control them from afar. That's why I'm practicing. Thought I'd check in on you, and found you were wondering about absurd things.'

'Well, I don't know very much about your species,' countered Dib defensively. 'And by the way, what exactly _do_ those antenna of yours do?'

Sighing mentally, Tak rolled her eyes and said, 'This isn't the time for Irken biology-'

'What, is it top-secret or something?'

'Not really, it's just that I have a feeling you're spacing out, and peope will notice.'

'You're avoiding the question! Come on,' replied Dib annoyedly.

'It's not that special; they're not even used for that anymore!' Replied Tak with another sigh. 'They're mostly just used to salute and give signals, sometimes in military combat, but usually just to indicate emotion.'

'Wait, there was something else you weren't saying,' pried Dib. 'Come on, I'm not an enemy! Just tell me and I'll get off your back about it!'

'Oh, alright! But I just know you'll bug me about it,' replied Tak. 'Chemical signals used to be used as a natural part of Irken biology; but now it's been reduced to a few small chemical emissions. This was done because aliens were learning how to read the chemical signals and it made us more vulnerable. We don't need them anymore, with our technology.'

'Oh, wow! ...Cool...' Thought Dib, his mind now reeling with possible reasons for chemical emissions. Then another thought occurred to him. 'Hey, if Irkens are so different now, what did your people originally look like?'

'Not that different. Although some had harder body-shells. And I believe some races also had hair and retractable claws...'

'Hair and retractable claws?! Really!?' Dib was totally interested now. 'Anything else?!'

'You see what I said about bugging me?!' Replied Tak angrily. Then, sighing, 'I wish that talk about energy wings was real: then _that_ would be _really_ useful!'

'Energy wings?' Thought Dib, just as Ms. Bitters slammed her hand down on the desk and demanded he recite the 'two rules of Sardonism'. He hadn't been paying attention, so he had to look down at his book -before realizing it was just at the place Ms. Bitters' hand was covering. Gulping, Dib thought, 'I think my teacher suspects I wasn't paying any attention...' And braced himself for the inevitable.

Tak's stinging laughter was heard in his brain before fading out; and Ms. Bitters made Dib stay in from recess after lunch, and after school for detention.

At least he got to read the lesson and memorize it for the test. And Zim got beaten up at recess!

So it wasn't all bad.

* * *

The next day was met with crushing and disappointment. First of all, Zim's avoidance and silence was all just because he'd gotten tinnitus in his ears; and second of all, Tak was injured when Dib forgot the "Telepathic Etiquette" she had taught him, and responded out loud to a mental comment. Though Dib wasn't all that worried about Tak; instead, he was worried about how he was going to remove the giant block of wood that was still stuck to his head after crushing him.

"Dang-it, Tak! I _really_ didn't mean to!" He apologized for about the three hundredth time since they'd left. He was now sitting at his desk at home, with his lap-top open to recount the events that transpired, the holo-screen floating up above it. He'd gotten the angry reaction when he'd tried to call Tak to get some collaboration on the notes, seeing if there was anything he'd left out. Tak was still upset that he'd totally blundered the telepathic etiquette at the most important moment. Though Tak hadn't expected him to get used to it the first time they'd tried it, she was still rather ticked at him.

"What _is_ it about your _BRAIN _that can't remember even the _simplest_ of instructions at _important moments_!?" She exclaimed over the communicator. They were no longer using the telepathic link, because, quite frankly, Tak had a desire to share her spiteful hating, and Dib had a headache about as large as the ionisphere that he could share with her.

"Look, I just _forgot_, okay!? It was just a-a-"

"A _brain-fart_?" Tak added for him, managing with a snide smirk.

Glaring, Dib replied, "Yes. You could call it that."

"Yeah, well, thanks to your _mental flatulence_," she stressed these words a little too much, "Your mistake has cost us a _lot_ of work! Though we did manage to get Mimi's memory disk back," she pointed over to her SIR-Unit, who was now standing at attention, eyes glowing readily. "I still had to fix a few things on it: that little garbage-bin Zim calls a robot messed it up a bit."

"Pshh, don't even get me _started_ on that little bucket of bolts!" Replied Dib with seething anger. "If _he_ hadn't pointed me out to Zim, I wouldn't have this heaping block of super-compressed iron wood stuck on my head!" He pointed to the large, dark wooden block that was stuck at an angle to his bizarrely large head.

"Oh, and that reminds me: Zim used polarizing compression agents with his ion-rearrangement ray. You could probably just use water to upset the chemicals' magnetization and remove the wood." Replied Tak, as if it was an afterthought.

"Oh, really?!" Replied Dib, looking up at his head and thinking about it. "Geeze, leave it to me to get something terribly painful done to my head, that could easily be fixed if I took a bath or something!" He commented sardonically.

"I already _told_ you that!" Shouted Gaz from down the hall, loud enough for Tak to hear and giggle at Dib's expense.

"Oh, and thanks for the loan of the ship," replied Tak, still giggling. After much argument about the ship -because, let's face it, Dib got totally hung up on the idea of having his own ship- the ship itself had suggested that it could keep an eye on Dib's doings if it stayed with him.

Though Tak now had the transceiver to spy on Dib's doings, she couldn't be spying on him all the time; and the ship never got tired. So it was insurance. Tak could have the ship's computer tap into Dib's computer and spy on him all it wanted to. He had the lamest habit of recording absolutely every that happened in a typed record. Dib didn't notice; or if he did, he didn't say it. Tak could always command the ship to return to her if he caused any trouble with it. And Dib still thought he had her on the whole, "I've planted a brain-bomb in your head" thing. Life was sweet.

"No problem," Dib replied nonchalantly. "I figured you'd need it if you had to use the medical stasis tube." Then he proceeded to downplay his own physical encumberment with a manly display of macho-macho. Since he now knew how to remove it. "I guess I'll go and take a shower now, try and get this thing off my head -I've been through much worse." He replied with a cheesy-looking grin.

"Yeah, _I'VE_ beaten him up!" Replied Gaz, again, from down the hallway. Tak proceeded to burst out laughing again.

"Man, how does she _do_ that!?" Mumbled Dib in exclamation on her strange doings. It hadn't occurred to him until recently how strange it was that she acted like that. Well, it _had_ occurred to him; he just hadn't commented on it.

Smiling on the other side of the floating hover-screen, Tak just said, "Goodnight, then, Dib."

Sighing and closing his lap-top, Dib replied in a low tone, "Goodnight," before heading off to the bathroom. He wondered if his head would still be moderately round after he extracted the wood.

* * *

_"I know, you know, that I'm not tellin' the truth,"_ played on the T.V. in the living room as Dib walked in. It was the next day, in the evening, and he'd decided to take a break after that last debacle -actually, Tak had decided, and he thought it sounded like a good idea- and so he'd wandered into the living room to find out what Gaz was watching on T.V. Apparently it was "Psychey". She actually somewhat liked that show, although it wasn't her usual fare.

"Watching Psychey, huh?" Said Dib as he walked into the room and sat down on the couch.

"Nyeh," she replied with a shrug, "There wasn't anything else on." Seeing as she wasn't all-too keen on this subject, Dib changed it.

"I was thinkin' of watchin' a movie tonight."

"Mmm? You're not going out to 'capture/kill Zim' with Tak tonight?" Asked Gaz with slight interest. Just slight. Just because the show wasn't interesting enough.

"Uh-uh. After that _last_ attack, we really needed the rest." Dib replied. He couldn't see Gaz's slight smile as she thought about what kind of snide remarks she could make. Then he sighed and rubbed the left side of his head that wasn't sore. "Man... That block of wood came off alright, but then it swelled up abnormally large and exploded in the bathtub...*Sigh* Dad _really_ got mad, huh?"

"I remember. _I_ had to _help clean it up_," she said in a dangerously annoyed tone. Though she'd painfully doomed him for that, she still didn't like being reminded of it.

"Huh? Oh, yeah: I must be missing my memory from when you painfully beat me up. ...Why do I remember Blarnkey the Teddy Bear?" Dib replied in confusion, wondering why he had a memory of a beloved children's show stuffed animal toy beating up on him...or was it just looming? He could never be too sure about those robot-toys of hers.

Gaz was contented that he'd just been punished enough to develop traumatic amnesia; so she left it at that.

"Hhhm..." Dib then pulled up the "Nap-sticks" screen on their big, Internet-connected Television and asked Gaz, "Hey, what kind of movie do you want?"

"Hhhrm... Something weird and probably gory. Oh! And one where the guy finally DOESN'T get the girl!" She smiled evilly at him, as if it was to comment on something about his self or what he was doing. Since he had no idea what she meant, thought, the meaning was lost.

"Huh?" Was all he asked as he observed her glaring sardonism.

"Tch," was all she said as she stood up and walked to the kitchen for some popcorn, muttering, "What a moronic boob-tubed-big-head!"

Still looking after her with glaring obliviousness, he said nothing, and then went back to his searching. Clicking on "Positive-Sad Chainsaw Motor", he sighed as he sat back and watched the screen load. Which only took about three seconds.

"HEY! You didn't start that movie without me-!" Warned Gaz from the kitchen.

Picking up the remote again, Dib pressed the "pause" button and then said, "Nope! Just finished loading: don't worry, I paused it!"

Glaring and growling her acceptance, she continued preparing the large bowl of popcorn.

After she came back in with the bowl and a poop, she pressed play. "Hey, where's my drink?" Asked Dib, probably still slightly amnesiac after the beating he'd received, because he must've forgotten she _never_ served him drinks.

"Get it yourself!" Was all she said in reply, an obvious answer to the oblivious question. Dib realized his mistake and acted accordingly. He sat and watched the fancy, cinematic opening before getting up.

After watching the first half of the rather freaky exploits of a guy and girl fighting off a chainsaw-weilding maniac who comes out of the full moon at night, Dib was growing rather bored with it. Just when were they going to explain why she was fighting him and where he came from?! And wasn't she interested in that guy yet? "Come on, it's been almost an hour, now! Just LIKE the guy already and get it over with!" Dib thought, but realized after his sister scoffed at it that he'd said it aloud.

"'Just LIKE the guy already and get it over with'?! Gee, I didn't know you were such a Romantic!" Scoffed Gaz. Despite not being the 'gorror' movie she'd hoped for, It was a cool-looking movie, and she didn't mind the ambling story-line. She was used to things like that.

"Huh?!" Asked Dib, for one brief moment thinking that she'd somehow read his mind; but then he realized his typical tendency. "Oh! I'm, uh, sorry, it's just that the plot's moving _really really_ slowly!" He replied with a nervous smile.

"*Sigh* Not _all_ relationships are like Dizzeney movies!" She said in an annoyed tone. Then, before he could reply with a "The heck, I wasn't talking about that!" she said, "Ssshhh! They're talking!"

Giving her a look that she easily ignored, he resigned himself to watching the rest of the movie in silence. It just wasn't worth it to reply when she said to be quiet, tonight. He was already pained from the last punishment.

On the whole, it was a really nice movie, reminding one of a certain manga about a gas-mask-wearing girl who fought strange bag-headed men with a propane-tank. Only it wasn't a propane tank that she used -it was blades and knives and such. After the movie ended and Gaz beat Dib in a psychological debate about what in the heck was all going on in the movie -Dib's idea of a grim reaper coming back for her soul after the car accident was squashed by Gaz's accurate observation that nothing like that was even mentioned, and it was obviously a physical manifestation of her own grief and self-blame- she decided to go to bed and put the popcorn bowl in the sink. Sighing, Dib picked up his own trash and threw it away, before retiring himself. He was usually more energetic that this; he assumed the recent events had just caught up to him. He was a growing boy, after all.

Today he'd woken up late; he did practically nothing, -because it was Saturday- and then went to bed at about 9:00. He fully expected to not be able to sleep; but surprisingly, he drifted off quite easily. Whenever he awoke in the morning at 5:00, he was shocked. "_What_ in the _world_?!" He exclaimed to himself, as he turned to look at his clock. "Man, have I got my schedule switched around again?! Geeze, I sure _hope_ not!" He remembered spending many late-nights observing paranormal phenomenon and getting chewed out by his dad for not getting "Proper rest at the appropriate times", despite the fact that his father was pretty bad at doing that, himself. In any case, it surely wasn't worth the time and effort it took to switch it back to normal. Finding he couldn't go back to sleep, he decided to get up.

Heading into the kitchen, he got himself some cereal and sat down to have a bowl. At least the early-morning cartoons would be on; he could never wake up in time to watch them, and although later on he would be very disappointed about what kind of shows they had, right now he was happy he could have the chance to catch them. He only wished someone else was up; it felt weird eating breakfast without Gaz growling at him, or his father bursting in with new firing technology or something about anchovy farts; that one was _weird_. Then he remembered the mental link, and decided it was worth a shot: he was bored.

'Hey, Tak, what's up?' He asked mentally, although he was sure she wouldn't respond. She didn't need to sleep, but she also didn't care enough to keep the necklace on all the time; he doubted she wanted him talking to her at all hours of the day and night. Kind-of like his sister. Huh. After contemplating this bizarre coincidence, he finally decided it _must_ have _something_ to do with his personality...because apparently he was boring when he spoke. Apparently, he also couldn't stop talking to himself. But that was an entirely different matter...

_"...'Speak roughly to your little boy,_

_And beat him when he sneezes:_

_He only does it to annoy,_

_Because he knows it teases.'_

_Chorus_

_(In which the baby and the cook joined):_

_Wow, wow, wow!'...''_

...Was what he heard in return, and he had to stop and blink, before realizing that it must be a quote of some kind. And it was rather familiar... 'Hey, Tak! Just what in the heck WAS that?!' He thought at her, now thoroughly confused.

'Hah hah hah~! I'm remembering a quote from a story we read in class; it seemed quite apropos~!' She replied with joy.

Dib recognized himself as the "little boy" in that quote, but he had no idea what "sneezing" had to do with anything! "Uhm, okay... _That's_ weird...!" He mumbled to himself as he turned back to his cereal.

'Hhhm... Did you just SPEAK that last sentence?' She asked, like a teacher eyeing their student for some mistake.

"Erm!" Said Dib, but then immediately caught himself. 'No, well, it's not like the rest of my family is up, yet. I slept a lot yesterday and last night; man, I dunno what's wrong with me. It's probably just nothing...' then he realized he was rambling, and said, 'Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-'

'Nuh? Oh, that's alright; I've been practicing on tuning you out. Quite frankly, your dreams are projected through this psychic connection, and it makes things difficult.'

'My _DREAMS_ are PROJECTED!?' Dib mentally exclaimed, putting his spoon in front of his mouth to avoid shouting it out loud.

'Yeup! It makes things difficult if I try to use the Psychic Necklace. _You_ try working with telepathy while someone is projecting their smeety-dreams about fake ghosts into your head, and see how well _you_ can do it! So I've had to learn how to tune it out. 'Course, it doesn't work _entirely_.'

'"Smeety-dreams about fake ghosts"?!' He repeated in his head. He was doing surprisingly good on this whole, "don't speak out loud when using telepathy" thing. 'First of all, that's a pretty horrifying dream -I finally discover ghosts and it's fake, just like Skoopy-Doh! And secondly, what's "smeety-dreams" mean?'

'Huh? You really haven't studied much in the Irken language, have you? *Sigh* "Smeet" means child, and "smeety-dreams" means dreams typical of a small smeet who is scared of stupid things!' She replied, not happy at all with the predicament she had to deal with. She wished she could just go back to ignoring him again. Then it wasn't quite so annoying.

"Look, I kept meaning to get to it, alright!?" He replied aloud, breaking his current record of not speaking telepathic conversations out loud.

'Sheesh, Dib! You seriously need to practice more on _controlling_ your anger _and_ your tongue!' She replied with a disappointed feeling transmitted along with the words. It made it all the more stinging a reprimand.

"Well, _what_ would y-" started Dib, before realizing that this was just what she was talking about. 'Uooh! You think you're so _smart_!? Then why don't you try something like, oh, say -_going into someone's mind_ and exploring around with your astral projection?! Or, hey! Maybe even get to work on that _pyrokinesis_! That'll come in _real_ handy!' He tried to use the most infuriating, sarcastic things he could think of. 'You haven't even progressed beyond controlling people with suggestions! Just _admit_ it! You're not any better than _I_ am!'

'WWWHhhoowwwooohhh!' She started, and he knew that she must be making verbal sounds as well, especially when she ordered Mimi to grab some explosives or something. 'It's _NOT_ like this thing comes with any INSTRUCTIONS!' She replied finally. 'I'll have you know, it's _FAR_ harder than it looks, whenever one has absolutely _no idea_ what kind of psychic necklace they're _dealing with_!'

'Oh, well-' Dib tried to think of something to say. 'Why don't we try and find some sort of "Psychic Instruction Book" or something!?' He finally exclaimed, half-sarcastic, half-seriously considering looking for that.

'Oh, well that's _FINE_ with me!' She replied back.

_'Fine_!'

_'FINE_!'

'I'll call you when I have the information!'

'And _I'll _do some of my _own_ investigating!'

'Alright then, that's _fiii~iiine_ with me!'

'_Fine_ with ME, _TOO_!'

'Good _day_!'

'Good day to _you, too_!'

After psychically hanging up, Dib didn't bother contemplating what kind of "fine" conversation had just went on there. He just wanted to eat his cereal, watch cartoons, and be done with it.

He grumbled for a few minutes and munched his cereal, before finally just picking up the bowl and going to the living room to watch cartoons. Maybe some mindless drivel would drown out the annoyance he felt. 'And NOW I have to find someone who teaches psychics!' He found he couldn't help but think.

After a few more shows, he decided he was officially tired of the mindless drivel, and went upstairs to do some research on 'Psychic Teachers'. He'd only gotten as far as a few internet searches, before he heard his dad and sister get up; he ran downstairs to greet them because, quite frankly, Gaz got rather angry if he didn't -their dad liked the idea of the whole family being together whenever they could.

* * *

It was later on in the day when he got a call from Tak; via the traditional way. 'Apparently she doesn't want to hear my annoying thoughts,' Dib was thinking, as he answered the hovering screen over his desk. Though he'd contacted several Swollen Eyeball members, he couldn't guarantee that they'd give him any good leads -they weren't going to take his, "I found out I actually do have psychic powers after all that time of not having any, and I wanted to find out if there was anyone who could actually teach me," line at face-value. He was afraid they'd ask for more information, and could he say something to them about Tak without their knowledge? He didn't want to find out.

"Good afternoon, Brain-Bean..." she said in a tone somewhat reminiscent of Alfred Hitchrooster's opening of "Alfred Hitchrooster Presents". They'd now resorted to somewhat petty name-calling, but he had yet to find any pattern in her behavior, besides getting angry with him and plotting things. Yes, she was good with plotting things.

"Good afternoon, Smarty-pants!" Replied Dib sarcastically.

"So... What's up?" She asked nonchalantly, even examining her gloved nails as if to inspect them beneath the leather.

"Come on, I know you _want_ something, so why don't you just come out and say it?!" He replied in exhasperation. He _was_ getting tired of their little tête–à–tête. It was so easy to fall into that pattern, though, especially when they didn't trust each other quite yet.

"Oh, alright," she said, as if her fun had been cut short, "I want to know if you've gotten anywhere with that 'Psychic Instructor' idea?" She knew it wasn't too likely, but she was getting impatient just waiting on him. She'd usually do her own research, only he actually had the contacts that would aid especially well in this respect.

"Oh, _that_," he replied with a "ppsshh"! "I can't say I'll have everything in one day: even when I used that whole, 'I just found out I actually _do_ have psychic powers, so is there anyone who can teach me?' lie, I doubt they'll do much without actual proof of my powers. *Sigh* Maybe that wasn't the best lie to use..."

"I don't think you'll have any reason to doubt that; if they're at least as smart as you, then they won't take things you say at face-value." Then she let out a breath, "However, since you've obviously been working hard on this, I suppose I'll help back you up. If they ask for more proof, just say that you were lying because your 'friend' who has psychic powers, was nervous about letting anyone know about it, and that she's afraid she'll cause trouble without knowing how to control them, and that that's why she wishes to see a Psychic Instructor. Capisce?" After taking a rest from his inane chatter today, she'd calmed down enough to start manipulating him in a more constructive manner. "Throw a dog a bone" came to mind right now.

Dib was impressed as he stared, blinking. "Wow, that's awesome! And that sounds so...TRUTHFUL! I'm sure they'll accept -hey, wait a minute!" He suddenly had a revelation, "What if they ask to meet with you? Oh, wait, you've got that hologram...but what if they have scanners?" The thoughts were whirling through his mind at a mile a minute, and he just couldn't keep his mouth shut. Tak sighed. Oh, well. At least he wasn't speaking aloud while they were having a telepathic conversation.

"I'll make sure to prepare for all that; and make another- hey, HEY!" She waved her hand in front of the screen, "Are you _listening_?!"

Dib stopped in his babbling and stared at her, "Uhm... Yeeesss...?" He replied nervously.

Tak literally face-palmed, and then looked at him again, "I will prepare for all of that stuff you were babbling about, if you'll _just_ calm down, and keep whatever appointments you have with them. Oh, and don't worry: if I fooled you, I can fool them, too." She smiled, but not sincerely. She just wanted him not to freak out and make a mistake while they tried to fool the Swollen Eyeballs, whom he would normally confide in.

"Okay, I'll do that!" Replied Dib with very sincere smirk. After hanging up, they both pondered the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, before finally deciding to concentrate on the question, instead. This next question is not that question.

Why was Dib not confiding in the Swollen Eyeball about not only a CONFIRMED ALIEN, but one capable of utilizing PSYCHIC POWERS, and, who hadn't been rejected by that mysterious necklace-thingy -yet-? At first, he'd been worried she would tap into his messages or computer, and find out about it. It was pretty obvious how upset she'd be about that.

But afterwards, he'd been worried about how the other Swollen Eyeball members would react. If he had a bone-fied alien there, wouldn't they want to capture her for themselves? Wouldn't they be mad that he wasn't turning her in, or at least allowing them to verify her existence? And even though he could account for the reliability of at least one of them -Agent Darkbooty- could he really count on the others as well?

He felt he was in between a rock and a hard place, and he seriously wanted to expose Zim before anything else happened. He was annoyed that he'd never doubted their help until now; after all, when they were this close group of serious, fellow Paranormal Investigators, why would he? But now he felt almost dreadful that he couldn't just pick one side or the other. If this situation had a gray-area, then he must've fallen into it. Like the Twilight Zone.

Hearing the "doo dee doo doo" from the opening theme of the Twilight Zone drifting on the wind, he thought nothing of it like a normal character in a story should, and went on to check his messages for any new developments. Nothing showing up yet, he devoted his time to searching the Internet's less-than-reliable web of interdependent lies and truths for something useful. This took up a remarkably long amount of time; and he was surprised to find out that it was 5:00 in the evening when he chanced to look at his clock -and that was only because he got hungry.

He went downstairs, confident that he'd have yet another day to wait in painful anticipation of an answer to his messages.

* * *

Elsewhere, a Yeti and a Sasquatch were conversing, waiting on their friend, the Bigfoot. "And so," the Yeti resumed, "As I said, there was this giant-"

"Hey, hey, wait- Is that there the same story you said that Big Head kid was in?" Interrupted the Sasquatch with a somewhat Canadian accent.

"Yes, _yes_, I'm gettin' to that!" Exclaimed the Yeti at his incredible lack of patience. "Anyways, _as I was sayin', _this giant explosion blows up that little shack in the middle of the park, and WHO do you think I see, _runnin' _just like the hounds of the place beneath the over-world were after 'im?" His native Appalachian mountains accent was starting to show through his cultured tongue. That happened if someone got him excited enough.

"Oohh, oooh! It was that BIG-HEADED KID?!" Exclaimed the Sasquatch.

"Suore 'nuff!" Replied the Yeti with a naturally nigh-unsettling grin. Then, after thinking, he added, "That, and there was this odd-looking woman with him -well, I jus' assumed she was a woman, 'cause of the way she was actin'- you can always tell, can't ya'? Anyways, it looked like she had two long antenna on her head, but not like any bug-creature I ever known." Then he thought a minute and cleared his mouth to get a handle on his accent. Nobody took him seriously as a college professor if he used his native accent. "I assume she was an alien, although I could be wrong; I haven't seen every monster there ever was..."

"Mmmhumm, mmmhmmm!" Hummed the Sasquatch in agreement, and they continued conversing whilest waiting for their friend.

Eventually, about five minutes later, a very large, hairy creature came lumbering towards them: Bigfoot. "I'm sorry I'm late, guys; I had to check my messages on the computer, an' you know how _that_ goes," he rolled his eyes as if it was a very big inconvenience.

"Oh, COME ON!" Replied the Sasquatch. "Harry Misanthropomorph, that's been your excuse for the last ...uh, three meetings, at least!"

"Now, _look here_, just because it's my _job_-" started Harry the Bigfoot, but the Yeti interrupted them.

"He's right, Mary," the Yeti used Harry's annoying nickname. But, once you got a nickname down south, it sticks for your whole life through! "You've sure been paying extra-special attention to that '_job'_!"

"*Sigh* Alright, okay..." began Harry, annoyed, "But _only_ because I don't have the energy to mess with you guys today." The others looked at him with new interest as he regaled them, "The 'Big-Headed Kid', as we all like to call him, has been making calls to that supposed 'Secret Society' that I'm supposed to keep an eye on, you know, the 'Swollen Eyeball'?" The others nodded, bored with the lack of new information. "But_ this _time, he's askin' people about 'Psychic Ability Teachers'!" The other two looked surprised.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Replied the Sasquatch thoughtfully, "I thought he didn't _have_ any!"

"Besides, isn't he focusing his attention on that alien in his neighborhood, you know, who even goes to his school?" Added the Yeti, with a snicker at the end, since it _was_ rather silly that no one noticed him with that TERRIBLE disguise.

"Yeah, yeah, I know -but wait 'till I get to the _good_ part!" Replied Harry with a grin. "It looks like he's been working along with an _alien_ -according to Mr Aho, the ghost who hid in his toilet for a few weeks- to try an' _destroy_ that alien who lives in his neighborhood!"

The others laughed a little at the irony. "But _he's_ the most freakishly-large-headed blabbermouth we've ever seen!" Shouted the Yeti over the others' laughter.

"And-and-and that alien's a girl!" The Sasquatch continued sniggering.

"Billy-bo, what'chu goin' on about?" Asked Harry, mocking the Yeti's accent. "Billy-bo" was the Sasquatch's nick-name, since his name was "Bill Beauregard". The Yeti gave Harry a humorous look that said, "Seriously?" but said nothing.

"That-that-" the Sasquatch stifled his laughter for a few seconds and was able to finally get the words out, "That was that story Fred was tellin' us about -that-!" He put his hand over his mouth and finally succumbed to giggling again.

Fred, the Yeti, whose full name was "Fredrick Frankenstean", -not to be confused with "Frankenstein"- spoke up in Bill's behalf, "I was just telling him how I'd seen the strangest thing in "Agony Acres' Park", you know, that really big one, around the edge of town?" Harry nodded. "I was walkin' by -in my disguise, mind you- and I happened to see what looked like pale plumes of smoke coming out of one of those -oh, what's it called?- those grate-things that they have by the little shack in the middle of the park -the one where they store all their park stuff. In any case, I thought it was weird, and just as I was considering calling 911 for dangerous fumes, it occurred to me that I saw two strange little figures going into that shed. (I was too far away to see them clearly, the sun was in my eyes.)

"Well, for a while, as I sat there on the bench nearest the shack and watched, nothing happened. But then, just as I was remembering the stench from the pale fumes smelt of radioactive materials, I reached down for my phone and, and- BAM!" He emphasised this with his hands. "There was an explosion and the shed and junk went _everywhere_! But no sooner had I uncovered my eyes, that I spied two of those little rascals that probably caused it -they were talking about someone else, as if they were tryin' to capture him or something. It seemed a little odd at the time, because it was that Big-Headed kid, with another person who just _had_ to be female, I mean, she _acted_ like it! In any case, she was green with long, curly antenna and big, dark eyes -purple, or somethin'- and for some reason she didn't have any disguise on; but that didn't matter, 'cause after shouting at him she went invisible." Fred the Yeti's native accent had slipped in again, and after his long, rambling explanation, Harry felt like his mind was freed from imprisonment.

After looking from one to the other, Harry finally addressed both of them, simply wondering, "Did that story _really_ have to be told?!" After recieving a couple of good "whap"s in response to this, the Bigfoot rubbed his head where Fred had hit him and thought about it. "Well, if he's working with someone else, then maybe _they're_ the psychic?"

"Y-Yeah, that's what I thought!" Replied Bill, finally freed from laughter -well, almost.

"And you know what was _weird_ about it?" Added Fred after he'd had some time to think. "I could _swear_ I'd seen that necklace around her neck before... Like, it was almost in a dream..." He mumbled this last part, it not being very relevant to the others.

"'That necklace'?" Asked both Bill and Harry at the same time. A sure sign of friendship, that.

"Oh," said Fred as if he was awoken out of his reverie, "Yeah, it was silver, on a silver chain, in a heart-shape, with a pinkish-purpleish stone in the center of it. ...Oh." Then suddenly his face dropped.

Bill was the first one to get this, and frowned. "What?" Asked Harry, before his mind started working and he simply said, "Oh."

After that, Fred the Yeti swiftly left, and the other two decided to do the same. Things were getting serious; especially if _"That Necklace" _was involved. And thus, the un-official, yet officially Friendship-ified meeting of the Yeti, Bigfoot, and Saquatch was adjourned early.

* * *

Just what was so horrifying about "That Necklace", that it simply couldn't be ignored? Dib was going to find out the hard way. In due time.

In the meantime, though, (at around 7:30) he found himself answering a call from Agent Darkbooty about his question. He'd found someone who called themselves a "Psychic Re-trainer, specializing in teaching ones to harness their latent psychic skills", but as the reports about their success were limited, he warned Dib not to put too much stock into what they claimed.

"It's okay, Agent Darkbooty, I'm pretty good at recognizing fake psychics," he explained.

"Oookaaayyy..." Agent Darkbooty seemed less-than-convinced. "I also just want to point out: That there's been a suspicious report about the 'Heart Reaper' necklace... Chances are, someone's trying to use it again."

"The _what_?" Asked Dib, confused. He didn't remember hearing that name before.

"Well, if you've never even heard of it, that's okay," Darkbooty back-peddled suddenly, "Just warning you to _STAY AWAY_ from_ any _silver necklaces about the size of a tennis-ball, heart-shaped, with a gem of pink-purple in the center, and mystical psychic powers! People have been known to do horrible, _horrible_ things to get their hands on it! Also, there can be some horrible side-effects from using it." His previous statement had now changed into a severe warning.

"Erm, alright..." replied Dib, still confused as to what he was getting at. "But if I find out where it is, I should tell you guys, right?"

"HECK, NO!" Darkbooty suddenly exclaimed. "WE DON'T WANT THAT THING _ANYWHERE NEAR _US!"

The call ended, and Dib stared, beweildered, at the silent hover-screen. It took a few seconds until he finally realized what he'd meant. "_That's_ weird." Was all he had to say in response to this revelation. Not only had he never heard the name of "The Heart Reaper" anywhere that he knew of -maybe it was a newer name?- but he also couldn't figure out why the Swollen Eyeball Network wouldn't want anything to do with it. 'I mean, I know that it's not the easiest thing to use, but come on -the "Heart Reaper"?! That's just ridiculous!' He thought as he closed his lap-top and walked downstairs to watch some mindless chatter on television.

END CHAPTER 1

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Some "Mindless Chatter", eh? Just like his head! *Laughs* The author apologizes for the obvious joke, but it just had to be done~! As for some of my own comments on this story... I actually couldn't think of anything to happen between this time and the dramatic parts of the story, although I had some idea that they'd be having insane, crazy, psychic adventures now that Tak has that necklace. That's why part-way though it becomes rather silly and meandering; although I like the fun play with all the various conversations and such, it becomes rather a task to move the story along with only those things. In any case, it was finally decided how they would proceed, and I'm rather happy with the end result! (Especially 'cause I've been wanting to get this first chapter finished before I post the first chappy of another story I'm doing~! EEEEEEEEEEEEEES~! *Squeals like an insane child at seeing a cat*) That's all I have to say! The next notes are about questionable things in the story itself!

1: The "Oedipus Complex" thing: Gaz was just messing with him. It really doesn't have any meaning, besides being a funny revelation into the way Gaz acts. (I figured it'd make sense if she acted a lot like her mother.) Dib mentioned that "All the girls he knows are scary", and Gaz says that...yeah. Anyways, speaking of her, Gaz is the only character who seems to be partially aware of things which would be impossible for ordinary beings to discern, which is why I don't mind using her to make hilarious stabs at reveals into characters' backgrounds, feelings, etc., or even to poik at the fourth wall sometimes! 'Cause she's just that cool, like that~!

2: Anyone who knows what the "What number am I thinking of?" thing in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" reference that I make a stab at, you're my new best friend~! 'Cause, you know, I didn't exactly _say _it!

3: Anyone who gets the very vague "Sarcasimo" reference doesn't get anything, because I wasn't very fond of that show, although it was sometimes rather funny...

4: What Irkens Looked Like Before Bio-genetic Engineering: That part was rather fun to use, since it's all a part of my "MY IZ Universe" on my Deviant Art account! You can find the link on my profile page, and the rest should be in my gallery under "MY IZ Universe"! (Though I haven't gotten to the part about "Energy Wings", that'll be covered later~!)

5: "...Zim used polarizing compression agents with his ion-rearrangement ray. You could probably just use water to upset the chemicals' magnetization and remove the wood." - I wanted something moderately sciencey to explain why Dib could remove the wood with the simple introduction of water. It sounded pseudo-sciencey enough to put in there, at the very least! I'm not a physicist!

6: "Blarnkey the Teddy-Bear", "Nap-sticks", "Psychey", "Dizzeney", and "Positive-Sad Chainsaw Motor", and others:

I wanted to add a few funny "Alternate Universe" references, and so I came up with some! (That, and laziness at my lack of ideas ensued~!) "Blarnkey", obviously a pun on "Barney", except that it's a far cuter Teddy-Bear instead of a dinosaur.

"Nap-sticks" is a pun on "Netflicks", and an homage to "Napster", which was by far the most innovative things ever come up with, and it also had a cute little kitty-cat with headphones, sleeping, as its logo! *Sniffs* Fare thee well, brave young Warrior: You instilled a sense of courage (and cheapness) into many an internet geek!

"Psychey", Psych, get it?! If you don't, I'll just assume you live in some country where they don't broadcast that awesome show.

"Dizzeney", oh, come on! Haven't you ever heard of that Once-good, now-turned-Evil Megalo-corporate company? Huh?! Huh?! HUH!?

"Positive-Sad Chainsaw Motor" is "Negative-Happy Chainsaw Edge". Need I say more? Great movie, not the "gorror-fest" I was expecting!

"Alfred Hitchrooster" was also a rather lazy joke on "Alfred Hitchcock". Mmmyups~!

7: And a happy shout-out to "Gas-Mask Girl", which is an AWESOME manga, you should really go read it, especially because the similarities of this movie to the manga (which I think the movie aped the manga, not the other way around, hm, have to look at its publishing date...) are very strong! Oh, yes, and... GAS-MASK GIRL IS SSSOOO COOOL!

8: The Sasquatch, the Yeti, and the Bigfoot: Okay, if you're wondering, their involvement will be explained _much _later on, specifically in a different story! Oh, and yes: Harry the Bigfoot _was_ the one Dib had seen in his garage, using the belt-sander. It was the only way to get those annoying corns off his feet! *Snickers* But suffice it to say that for now, Harry is supposed to be keeping an eye on the Swollen Eyeball Network, so as to protect, um, people like him! (It'll all be explained later! I promise!)

Anyways, that's all for this installment of "Meet Your Maker"! Eer, I mean, Read and Review! *Giggles*


	2. Tweedledee and Tweedledum

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything! Not anymore than Tweedledee and Tweedledum do!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This chapter took me a little bit longer to write, and it starts out just as meandering as the chapter's namesake. Seriously, that Tweedledee and Tweedledum scene was just about Alice getting bugged by two really idiotic guys... Anyways, in this one, try and guess who's Tweedledum and who's Tweedledee! *^v^* I can guarantee you...it'll be rather interesting...!

Oh, and the Men in Black make an appearance! But they're the more classical kind... Well, as classical as Invader Zim can get! *Laughs* Anyways, please enjoy this next chapter!

(BTW, in order to make some extra space to keep your eyes from bleeding out, I'm going to use numbers, alright? The things I do for line-breaks...! "0" and "1, 2, 3" are probably going to be the most often-used.)

1

2

3

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: Tweedledee and Tweedledum**

* * *

_...'If you think we're waxworks,' he said, 'you ought to pay, you know. Waxworks weren't made to be looked at for nothing. Nohow!'_

_'Contrariwise,' added the one marked DEE, 'if you think we're alive, you ought to speak.'_

_'I'm sure I'm very sorry,' was all Alice could say; for the words of the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock, and she could hardly help saying them out loud:_

_0_

_Tweedledum and Tweedledee _

_Agreed to have a battle;_

_For Tweedledum said Tweedledee_

_Had spoiled his nice new rattle._

_0_

_Just then flew down a monstrous crow,_

_As black as a tar-barrel;_

_Which frightened both the heroes so,_

_They quite forgot their quarrel._

_0_

_'I know what you're thinking about,' said Tweedledum: 'but it isn't so, nohow.'_

_'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be: but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'..._

_0_

_-Excerpt from "Through the Looking Glass", by Lewis Carroll_

* * *

1

* * *

Tak was bothered by Dib at around 7:40, when he'd managed to prod her psychically after she was sure he wouldn't. She'd just put the necklace on again to try analyzing the difference in effect with her computer once again, when she'd been interrupted by him with "A very important message!" In response, she'd sighed and deigned to answer it.

'Oh, good! You'll never guess what I just heard from Agent Darkbooty!' Exclaimed Dib mentally after she'd answered it.

'What? That you're an annoying idiot?' She asked, wondering if this was going to happen any time she tried to use this necklace.

'What?! No!' He exclaimed, and she hoped he wasn't speaking out loud again. 'Look: it's still unconfirmed yet, but he thinks there _might_ be this place where they teach you to harness your latent psychic abilities. It's called, "Turpit Out". Don't ask me where they got that name from.' He added, equally confused about that name.

'"Unconfirmed"? I don't know... That sounds too good to be true,' replied Tak, as confused as he was. 'What else did he say?'

'Nothing much; just said that there was a possibility it was all a scam; in any case, it'll be good to check out!'

'Good, then _you _go and check on it, and I'll wait 'till you've confirmed it.' She replied easily.

'What!? But I can't just go in; you _know_ I don't have any psychic abilities! And if it's all a scam, how am I going to confirm it when I can't even tell if their "teaching" has failed?!' He exclaimed.

Curses. She hated it when he had a point. 'Oh, alright! But only because you're so useless!' She replied as an extra sting to him. But he was too excited about a potential "Psychic Teacher", that he paid no attention to it.

'Alright! I'll check this place out, look it up, then we'll head by there after school tomorrow! Okay?'

'That reminds me: if you find anything else out about it, don't hesitate to call me!' She then added quickly, 'On the NORMAL line,' and took off the necklace to officially "hang up". She leaned back in her chair and sighed. Having this thing may prove useful, but in the meantime it was a major pain in the butt if he kept poking her brain all the time.

The gem inside the necklace seemed to glow slightly reddish, but then it subsided. It went unnoticed as Tak tried to monitor the readings her computer scan showed.

Tipping back in his chair didn't work as well as he wanted, so Dib found himself rolling back towards his bed as he thought about what to do next. Looking up 'Turpit Out', he only found their street address -still the same city, but pretty far downtown, and close to the park near the edge of town where he and Tak had almost been irradiated/combusted/exploded/etc., by one of Zim's horribly, horrible-gone-rampant plans.

It was sort-of run-down-looking... But then again, everything looked like that around here, so it made sense. But he still couldn't shake his nagging sense that it was "cheaper" than what it should be. In any event, he couldn't wait until the next day!

Getting up, he just reached his door when he heard the doorbell ring. "Hey, Gaz! Are you down there?" Not hearing anything, the bell rang a third time and he said, "Can you get it?!"

Still not hearing anything, -although he was sure she'd be yelling those exact same words back at him if she did answer- he crossed the hallway and down the stairs, half-jumping on the railing to slide down it before scrambling across the room to answer it on its sixth ring. It wasn't often that people rang the doorbell, and this turned out to be a delivery man -even more odd!

"Hey, I'm from the Membrane Laboratories across town, Professor Membrane just wanted this dropped off for him. Could you please make sure that he gets it? Thanks," said the man at the door, surprisingly intelligent and polite: for a simple delivery man, that was surprising.

"Okay, yeah." Said Dib as he accepted the fingerprint scan (to 'sign') and the package.

Closing the door, he barely looked up at his sister sitting on the couch as he said, "Hey, a package delivered straight to Dad? I wonder what could be in it?!" He could hardly contain his curiosity as he looked the label over and read every inch of it, even as he descended the stairs to his dad's home laboratory.

If it wasn't every day that a package was delivered right to the door instead of going through the chute to be inspected first for dead squirrels and deadly pathogens, then it _also_ wasn't every day that the lights were off when he descended into his father's laboratory.

'Why doesn't he have the lights on?' Was all Dib thought, as he couldn't contain his thoughts enough to worry about lighting. Putting the package on the main examination table, he walked over to the switches and turned the lights back on. "There, much better!" Was all he said; rather, all he got to say about it.

Gaz was crankily growling at him from upstairs, and his attention was distracted as she made the claim that he had eaten every last one of her "Salty Lizard Bites". Trying to sort this out wasn't going to be easy; he didn't remember eating any of them! Running back upstairs, he thought he could always guess what was in the package later -which was a lot more fun than actually finding it out.

After his innocence was proven in a digestive scan, Gaz scowled and searched around the house for any other "intruders". Their dad didn't like the Salty Lizard Bites, so his innocence was clear: but after finding no one, only "vague impressions that someone was here", Gaz was less-than-happy. Sighing, Dib decided that sucking it up and going to the corner store to get her some more was the best way to get back to his package-guessing.

The walk was relatively uneventful, and when he'd returned Gaz recieved them grumpily, complaining that they were "much better when they're fresh"; but of course one couldn't get those until early in the morning, and so she munched on them complainingly while she sat in front of the screen. Dib hadn't even wondered what she'd been doing, as he ran quickly downstairs to play at guessing what was in the package.

Mysteriously bereaved of his fun with the package, he searched around until he finally decided the internal security scanners must've sensed it and done whatever it is they did with unknown packages that suddenly appeared there. Probably took it to be scanned and disinfected.

Heading back to the stairs, he frowned at the two lights that were dimmer than usual. 'That's irritating', he thought, but thought nothing more of it, as his thoughts were too consumed with pouting over his loss of the package.

As he walked upstairs, he got a drink of something in the kitchen, before coming into the living room. As he reached it, he saw what Gaz was doing all alone, in that living room. All on her lonesome... Well, okay, do animated video game characters count?

Gaz was sitting, playing one of her old games on a larger, older gaming console that was hooked up to the T.V.. Dib walked by and said, "Hey, I haven't seen that thing in a while. Lunonauts, huh?" He asked as he saw the game she was playing.

"Nurgh," was all the response she gave and she flipped her character up and over tightropes and trees. "It's another two months until the new Game Slave game comes out -so I'm playing some of my older games again."

"Huh," said Dib as he watched her expert timing as she used a levitation ball to balance on the tightrope to get a floating, sparkling card between two gray trees. "I always thought the idea of a Psychic Training Camp on the Moon would be cool -too bad it isn't true!" He moaned as he shook his head and walked off.

As he did so, he could hear the character on-screen say something about wanting a puff-ball to alight on his shoulder, in a voice which sounded almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Zim's.

0

* * *

0

The next day Dib awoke, tired, but none-the-worse for wear. He got dressed and stumbled downstairs without even stopping to check his E-Mail. Downstairs, he sat down with a "thwump"! as his sister poured herself a bowl of sugary cereal. Noticing his lack of enthusiasm, she completely ignored it until something more interesting happened.

"I think I'm going to teach you kids how to exercise properly." Came his dad's voice over the table. His head was attached to a holo-screen, as per usual, and it wasn't a recording. Huh. _That_ was unusual. Dib felt like saying something, but his dad continued, "I'll make a few video recordings with instructional graphics...hmmm...this actually might be a good idea for my show..."

"Erm, Dad," began Dib, who wanted to ask why this wasn't a recorded message. "Why-"

"Oh, yes! Hello, Son! My~ You're looking pekid this morning," came his dad's response. "Why don't we get you some juice? And while you're at it, do a few jumping-jacks! It'll get your blood flowing!"

Dib just stared and blinked at this, before sighing and getting a drink of juice for himself. "Dad, why are you transmitting LIVE this morning?" He took a drink of his orange juice, and winced at the fuzzy taste in his mouth. He took another drink.

"Oh! Good, you just reminded me: last night, did you receive a package for me?"

"The package? Yeah, I was wondering about that! I put it downstairs in your Lab; I was going to try and guess what was in it, but then Gaz complained about her Salty Lizard Bites missing, and so I-"

"And you're SURE it wasn't moved afterwards?" His dad questioned, more intensely.

"Well, _no_, I mean, not actually... I had to go to the store to get Gaz some more Lizard Bites, and when I came back down, it was gone. I assumed the security system must've sensed it and taken it to be inspected, or something!"

"Hhhmmm... This makes it all the more puzzling..." Mumbled his father.

"What was so important in that package that you had it delivered right to the house, anyways?" Asked Dib as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.

"Hrm... Some very rare insectiod specimens..." his father grumbled begrudgingly. "They weren't to be let out of the box, and they certainly _weren't_ meant to be touched!" He wagged his hand at the screen for some reason.

"Well, don't look at me! Why don't you just check the security tapes?" Replied Dib casually, as he ate a spoonful of sugary cereal.

"Because they're all _malfunctioning_!" Exclaimed his father suddenly. "*Sigh* I'm sorry about this, Son, but if you could keep an eye out, and maybe when I get home, we can search the Lab together, okay? There was this _really_ great_ spider_ I thought you'd like to see -eighteen eyes! Can you belie- WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT?! NOOOOOEEEEEESSSSSS!" The screen went blank, leaving the two children staring, but not the least bit worried.

There was only one thing worrying Dib: "_Great_, now Dad actually thinks I'm interested in bugs! *Sigh*"

A random dog wandered into the kitchen, took a look around, and said, "Woof!"

"Nyeah," Gaz replied, "Maybe if you learned about bugs, you'd learn more about yourself!" She smirked. The dog looked up at her and whined.

"Hah, I'm not in the mood for jokes this morning," he said and sighed, "I wish there was time to make an egg or something...I'm still hungry." The dog started panting at this.

Gaz just shrugged.

"Oh, well. I guess I'll just grab something on the way. See ya'!" He said as he jumped out of his chair and ran out. "Oh! I almost forgot!" He ran back upstairs to get his lap-top. "Can't leave without this!...And tell Dad to check the house for dimensional holes; I think that's that puppy we lost." And then he left.

Gaz turned to the little dog. "You want something to eat?" The dog looked at her in anxious anticipation, as if to say, "That's not what I came here for, but now that you mention it, that _does _sound good!" It gave a little "Whuf!"

0

* * *

0

Tak walked up to the park bench where they were supposed to meet. It was after school that same day. "Agony Park" had apparently lived up to its name. The last time they'd been almost irradiated/exploded by some radioactive squirrels' nuts that Zim had used in his fusion reactor. It had not been pretty, and the agony had been even worse since they'd failed to kill/capture said Zim in his antics. And now, she was about to go to some stupid, most likely fake, "Psychic Teacher" to learn how to harness her psychic abilities. Since apparently staring at Dib's large head hard enough was _not_ going to make it explode. "Agony Park" was an understatement.

"Hey, Tak!" Said Dib, as he hopped off of another bench not far from the one she was standing in front of. "Good disguise! At first glace, I'd almost mistake you for a hippie!" Tak glared. "Or, er! One of those...'New Age' types...?"

"Once again, your astute observation astounds me," stated Tak as she folded her arms. The gem glowed slightly, unnoticed by anyone. Her disguise now had light purple eyes and light pink hair in a short, spiky pony-tail. Her shirt was a slightly darker pink, half-length tee with a long-sleeve dark purple and plum striped shirt underneath. Her pants were of a dark, grayish indigo color, with her usual boots. She had some random "jewelry", also courtesy of the hologram, like bracelets and cat-eye earrings, and finally, her necklace had been disguised as a large cat-eye, with the gem forming the center pupil in a dark blue color. (However, if it happened to glow, it would still be fuschia, which would be a rather strange sight.)

Giving her a flat look, Dib simply said, "The place is on Card Street. They charge 90 bucks each time, and there's no refunds." He handed her one of their business cards as he poked a few buttons on his lap-top.

"Sounds like a total waste of time," Replied Tak.

"Well, it's worth a try; we don't have any other leads!" Stated Dib simply, folding up his lap-top and putting it in his backpack. "So let's go already. It'll take ten minutes if we walk." He turned to leave.

"*Sigh* Fine." Replied Tak as she turned to follow him.

After ten minutes of walking, they finally arrived in front of the place. It called itself a "New Age Spa", "Specializing in Self-Discovery and Improvement" with "Flexible working hours" posted underneath the "Sekretaree wantedd" sign.

"Dib." Said Tak.

"Yes?" Said Dib.

"If this turns out to be a front for illegal activities, I'm leaving you to their mercy."

"*Sigh* Sounds fair," Dib said as he rolled his eyes. He really didn't expect more than a farce, but her idea of a front for illegal activities like drug-dealing probably wasn't far from the truth. 'If they use illegal drugs to give the customers a feeling like they've "reached a higher plane", then maybe it _would _count as that?' He found himself contemplating.

'Shut-up, Dib, and come with me; I need your money.' Tak replied mentally, looking at him with that look that said, "You'd better just do as I say".

"Oh! Uh, right," replied Dib as he followed her inside, fishing through his pockets for his wallet. Finding it, he'd just pulled it out before he looked up and found himself face-to-face with either a canary or a fish.

It was acutally the current "Sekretaree", who looked rather abstract -in both mannerisms and appearance- her straggly hair did nothing to affect this: rather, she stared somewhat languidly, even as she asked them what they wanted. "Is this your first visit?" She asked as she chomped on her thin little piece of spearmint chewing gum loudly.

"Erm, yes, well, actually," started Dib, but Tak thankfully finished for him.

"Is it true you give 'Psychic Lessons' here?" She asked simply.

The woman seemed to stare for what seemed like eternity, although unlike a certain horse, it was not out of awe of her knowledge. "Yes." She also closed her mouth that had been hanging open, with a "smap"!

"Then...we'd...like...some?" Replied Dib, a little unsure as to whether she was paying attention.

"That'll be ninety dollars, plus tax." Replied the lady behind the desk nonchalantly.

Sighing, Dib handed over the money and eyed her as she seemed elated to receive it. He wanted to find out if there was anything more to this than meets the eye.

"Just one, then?" Asked the lady after counting the money, opening one eye wider.

"Yes." Replied Tak before Dib could respond.

"Just step into the waiting room," said the lady, pointing to a row of chairs lining the back wall of the small front office. Tak and Dib started walking over there, but then the lady suddenly reached out a hand over the desk in front of Dib and said, "NOT _you_, young man! The lessons are for paying customers, _only_!"

"What?!" He exclaimed. "You mean I can't just sit and _watch_?!"

"Wait outside, please," she replied as she pointed to the door, still smacking the gum slovenly.

"Grr, hey, wait! I said-" Dib was shoved out the door and he stood on the sidewalk, staring. "Oh, GREAT! _Now_ I can't even sit and watch! I bet there's something _fishy_ going on...in there...*mumble grumble*"

'Don't worry, Dib, I got this,' thought Tak at him, hoping he wouldn't do anything too reckless.

'"Don't worry", she says, pphht!' Dib thought to himself, though he forgot he was sharing it through the psychic link.

'Shut-up,' replied Tak simply, then turned to look at the door leading into the back room. There was no one coming yet.

Glaring, but deciding it'd be best to keep an eye out, Dib did just that. Surprisingly enough.

The wait inside lasted a long few minutes, with the secretary making a call to what Tak assumed was the back room to tell them that they had another "Su-student". Tak didn't need psychic powers to see she was lying through her teeth; still, it would be interesting to see how they tried to pretend to help her control her powers.

The door to her right finally opened, revealing a couple of raggedy-looking men, who looked like they needed a good hair stylist and a shave. She didn't even want to think about whether or not they needed baths. Taking a pair of red-tinted sunglasses off, the first man with red hair turned to Tak and said, "Are you our new, er, student?"

"Yes," said Tak, "And I can't wait to take your obviously excellent class." The light from her mind-control device shone from one eye to the other, completely unnoticed to the three sub-intellects.

"Yes, well, I'm _sure_ it'll be everything you've hoped for," the red-haired man blinked and then turned to the brown-haired man behind him, "Please follow Douug, he'll get everything you need set up." (He pronounced the name exactly how it's spelled, with an extra "u", making it sound like "Du-ug".)

"Alright," said Tak, standing up and following Douug as he lead the way to a dimly-lit room.

The room was gray-ish, with what appeared to be walls so cheap they didn't even have sheet-rock over the thin concrete, 'Greeaaat, _JUST_ greeeaaat...' She thought purposely loud enough to reach Dib's brain.

"What?" Dib covered his mouth -he'd been on high-alert and jumped whenever he heard her comment. 'What?! What!? What is it!?' He responded anxiously.

'It's just the lamest attempt at making me think they're helping me control my psychic powers I've _ever seen_...!' Thought Tak back, as she watched the man with the misspelled and mispronounced name assemble what could only be considered a hair-dryer attached to a large dental-light's arm, which was still attached to the dental chair itself.

'Huh?' Thought Dib, wondering what she could possibly be going through.

"This, er, _STABILIZER_, will help you to focus your psychic abilities..." Stated Douug, as he adjusted the arm-thingy to hold the hair-dryer at what would be her head-level. "It'll work best when you close your eyes, and, uh... Try and lift this spoon up!" He pulled out a spoon and put it on the adjacent table attached to the dental-arm thing.

'I wish you could see this,' thought Tak with a slight smile as she observed the mundane spectacle. She felt this was probably the highlight of what could become some humorous reel about the strangest or dumbest things that have happened in her life, and she felt the need to burn it into her mind to remember this in all its stupidest, lame glory.

'Oh, wow!' Was all Dib thought as the image floated, slightly faded, into his mind. 'That IS the _LAMEST_ spectacle I've ever seen!' Closing his eyes to focus on it clearly, he smiled, 'I wonder how it's supposed to work?'

'Huh. I guess images _do_ translate well over this psychic link!' Replied Tak, surprised and relieved that she could now use the link to send images of whatever it was she was looking at.

'That's not a surprise!' Thought Dib back, wondering why she was amazed to discover that. After all, hadn't she seen his dreams before? 'You've seen my _dreams_,' he stated matter-of-fact.

'Well, yes, but that-' Tak started to think, but was interrupted.

"Just sit in the chair, there, and, uh...we'll get started!" Said the brown-haired Douug, motioning to it.

Tak sighed inwardly and did as she was instructed. Sitting in the high chair, a hair-dryer pointed at her head, she hoped she would get through this without bursting out into laughter. "What do I do with this?" She asked, pointing to the murky-colored dental bib hanging from the side of the chair.

"Erm! Nothing, that's just there, to, uh, you know... In case you get brain-damage and, uh, start to drool and stuff!" Tak raised her eyebrows at this, -don't ask how she does it without them- and simply said nothing. He looked like he was getting anxious with all of these questions.

"Now, uh... Since it's your first time here, let's start out with something simple:" he turned on the hair-dryer to "low" and then said, "This here will, uh, like I said, help you to focus! So, uhm... Clear your mind, and try to focus on that fork! Er, knife! Or, something..." he mumbled as he adjusted something on the dryer. It looked like an un-bent paperclip with a string attaching it to the hair-dryer.

She thought, 'Just _great_!' and rolled her eyes even as he said the next thing.

"This automatic sensor-thingy will sense whenever you're reaching a higher focus, so you can control your psychic powers! Or something." He pointed to the thing he'd just fiddled with, and she had to smile saccharinely to keep from giving her indifference away.

"Well, I'll let you have some, uhm, peace and quiet!" Added Douug as he stepped out through the door, and, closing it, said, "Just remember, try to keep your eyes closed!"

Sighing, Tak finally replied to Dib mentally and stated, 'When we get out of this, I don't want to see your face for a full three days! Or even hear your thoughts! You got that!?'

'Right, right, I totally owe you one, I got it!' Replied Dib dismissively with a shrug, as he leaned against the wall, watching the traffic and creepy people pass. 'Really hate this part of town,' he thought to himself.

'YOU don't KNOW HOW MUCH!' Replied Tak angrily. Didn't he get it that he shouldn't just be dismissive when a woman was angry?! They had a tendency to get even...! 'Looks like I'll just have to ...take your head apart and find out what makes it so thick...!' She thought, even as she began fidgeting in her seat. This place was really, _really_ boring!

'You know, maybe he had a point -about the whole, "focusing", thing?' Thought Dib, completely ignoring the threats to his mind. Almost. 'Oh, and you wouldn't do that -you _need_ me!'

'Like a bad _rash_!' Replied Tak, taking a glance at the hair-dryer that was now blowing luke-warm air at her head.

'But-I, uh... I have money!' Dib finally thought of a good comeback. 'You wouldn't've gotten _in_ there if it wasn't for me!'

'I still have access to the Deelishus Weenie Corporation's bank accounts: I can easily access them and get all the money I need! And,' she added, '_I_ didn't want to come here, in the _first_ place!'

'I- Ohpwh! Well, FINE, then! I guess I'll just _leave_ this to you! Have fun with your hair-drying!' He pouted and shoved his hands into his pockets. She was _seriously_ irritating! He stalked around in a circle, half-thinking he should leave her there, while half of him thought it'd be best to stay in the worst-case scenario. Wandering around in circles wasn't helping, but at least he blended in with the other suspicious-looking people who were gathering, waiting for evening time when they could start whatever suspicious activities they wanted.

'If I get mugged out here,' Dib was thinking to himself, considering whether or not Tak would reimburse him for losing all his pocket money. He figured not, but it was distracting enough to keep him from getting into trouble. He didn't have anything else to do.

Though Tak heard him, she was too busy thinking about her current situation. She knew that this was stupid, but if she left now, it would look too weird. Maybe Dib could pretend he had a diseased attack of some sort and she could claim he called her for help and she could rush out? No, that would mean she'd have to work with him, and he could still claim that she owed him. Also, he was still a bad actor. Glaring up at the hair-dryer drying her hairless head fruitlessly, she wished it would break.

Outside, some other sneaky and suspicious characters were peering around the door of an old, desperately-in-need-of-repair beauty salon to the right of the "Turpit Out". It was there that they not only were peaking around the corner to stare at Dib, but also got a badly-needed trim.

Dib, leaning against the side of the Turpit Out, didn't see them as he mumbled and grumbled things against his "partner" whilest staring at a group of people on the corner to his right. It was the perfect vantage-point. He was looking in the exact opposite direction.

Inside, Tak was still seriously considering the hair-dryer with evil thoughts of destruction, as she waited out the session. She wondered when it was supposed to end, and suddenly had the vague notion that the two "Masterminds" were going to head out to lunch and leave her there. Psychically, of course. Under the luke-warm air of a hair-dryer. 'Just _GREAT_!' She growled and grit her teeth in annoyance, again focusing evil thoughts at the hair-dryer.

Outside, just around the corner to Dib's right, were another group of people. These were observing him, also, only they were doing it for the exact same, slightly different, reasons. They consisted of four persons, who, to their knowledge, had never all been together in the same place. This also meant that they had a hard time keeping themselves from catching up with each others' lives.

As for Dib, he still didn't see them all peering around the corner at him, as he was engrossed in his own thoughts of murmuring horrible things. About exactly what, all his peerers couldn't say.

Tak was still thinking horrible thoughts about that hair-dryer, which had now switched from low to high. Her head was getting hot, and she seriously wanted that hair-dryer to die. Perhaps if she just tampered with it? Like shorting out its motor? ...Then she realized that all this time, she'd been sitting in a chair willingly, not strapped down, when she could've simply gotten up to wait it out. 'FURRRSH THAT STUPID DIB AND THIS STUPID HAIR-DRYER!' She thought as loud as she could, wishing she could scream about it.

Outside, the two peerers in the salon had decided to head inside the Turpit Out, while at the same time the four peerers around the corner did the same. The two peerers in the salon held up what looked to be a clear glass sheet, and placed it on the side of the salon's wall, unnoticed, as they slipped in through the now glassy-looking portal. The four peerers around the corner went for the more physical approach, and climbed up the fire-escape towards the roof. (The shop was only one story,) and removed bricks with a laser to access the storage area. There was no sneaking in through the vents, because, quite frankly, that's just stupid. And loud. And painful, because they'd break! And, they also didn't want to get caught.

Dib didn't notice a thing on his extremely vigilant watch, aka, not really caring at all.

Tak, on the other hand, had just been thinking horrible things about the hair-dryer, when suddenly it sparked and started to smoke. Then the hair-dryer stopped, and she saw the wire to it catch fire. Jumping up and out of the chair, she was extremely thankful for the serendipity of that moment.

Looking around, she turned to leave, just as an idea struck her. Picking up the spoon that sat on the little dentist's table, she moved it to the other end. Satisfied with that little trick, she walked out.

The secretary was rather astonished to see her appearing before the hair-dryer had melted half her hair off and she was sweating like a pig doesn't sweat at all. Tak simply said that the 'Focusing Thingy' had malfunctioned, and she was unable to continue her lesson. Taking this was a lot easier since the woman got up to see what was wrong with it.

Tak took this opportunity to escape, and left. "Dib, you're off the hook for leaving me alone for three days. Now you're just going to have to endure some _PAIN_...!" They thus proceeded in a chase down the boulevard of broken beer bottles.

The two figures from the salon wandered into the half-empty storage room, thinking they would surprise Dib's friend. Who also happened to be a girl. The four figures from around the corner descended through the small hole they made in the cinder-block bricks; first deploying two while the other two kept watch. They had the exact same idea as the salon two. The two figures from the salon muttered something about itching in their suits and masks. The two figures from around the corner heard whispering in the dark, practically unused storage room, and went to check.

Being that the two figures from around the corner weren't any good at seeing in the dark without night-vision equipment, they managed to bump right into the two who were itching in their suits. They instantly grappled, and the other two from around the corner who'd waited outside came in to help with the struggle. Eventually, they all ended up in a giant, big pile. Unbeknownst to them, Tak and Dib were long gone by now.

Tak chased Dib about four city blocks before finally deciding to hit him with something. It took about three tries with a poop can, a beer bottle, and a rock, but finally he went down.

Although her antenna were still vibrating with the annoyance of the hair-dryer's hot air, she still found time to contemplate the extreme chances of it failing before she zapped it with something. 'I didn't even try to move that spoon with my mind, but what about the hair-dryer?' She found herself thinking as she poked Dib's head with her foot. He was walking home if he was unconscious. And she knew the odds of that happening were less than the odds of the hair-dryer malfunctioning. He had a hard head!

The big-headed boy opened his eyes and promptly glared at Tak for hitting him so hard; then they continued to walk back to their personal vehicular conveyances. As they went, Tak suddenly thought, 'I thought I'd heard the word "Turp" before! ...Dib, doesn't the word mean to "swindle" in slang?'

Dib suddenly exclaimed out loud -entirely forgetting Tak's training- "OF COURSE! 'Turpit Out', means that they 'swindle your money out' of you... 'Turp it out'!" He then said, "_Man_, how did we NOT THINK OF THAT!?"

Tak felt the incredible urge to do a face-palm; but instead, she hit Dib upside the head. (Hey, it was better than hitting herself~!)

The group of peepers were eventually able to untangle themselves. One of the group of four from around the corner found their pen-light and managed to shed some light on the situation; the other two in the itchy suits found themselves escaping, but not before listening in at what the group of four found in the empty "training room". There was a bit of hilarity at the hair-dryer and dental-chair, but other than that, there was nothing. And the secretary at the front desk was neither helpful, nor observant enough to be of help.

They then all went home. Or, at least, their separate ways. They'd have a heck of a story to tell whilest standing around the water-cooler when they got back, though.

0

* * *

0

"Agent Mothman!" Agent Darkbooty exclaimed from the other side of the holo-screen that hovered above Dib's desk. He'd found it waiting urgently for him when he got back home later that evening; he didn't even know why in the heck they were calling him so much. It wasn't as if anything terrifying had happened; even upsetting Tak hadn't resulted in too terrible an injury -although he still wondered about that screw-ring drilled into his finger. "Where WERE you?! We've been trying to reach you for _hours_, now!"

"I'm really sorry, but I was out at that 'Turpit Out' place." Dib leaned back in his chair and started playing with some mysterious hair-ties that had ended up in his room. Yeeuup. His dad _definitely _needed to check for dimensional holes. "It turns out it was a scam -and at 90 bucks a piece, a really pricey one! You'd better expose them for that: I'm sure there'll be plenty of grateful idiots out there!" Dib was rambling on, completely not paying any attention to Agent Darkbooty's apparent anxiety.

"We sent four agents that way when we heard a tip about the 'Heart Ripper' necklace. We were going to talk to you and your, er, friend, about it, but they couldn't seem to find you! Also, whenever they entered the storage room of the Turpit Out, there were two rather large people in there -we ended up with quite the mix-up- but after they were untangled, they disappeared."

Dib raised his eyebrow at the "untangled" mention, but said nothing. Darkbooty continued, "After that, they entered the supposed 'training room', only to find that neither you, nor your friend were there! That, and the hair-dryer attached to the dentist's light-arm with a dental chair was quite intriguing." Dib smiled at this mention. It _was_ pretty funny. "The owners weren't there, and the secretary was of no help."

"Yeah, I know!" Dib almost laughed and rolled his eyes. "T-er, Tik-tak told me the whole thing! *Laugh* The hair-dryer!" He hoped Agent Darkbooty wouldn't recognize the name from his report of the "Invader Tak" incident.

If Tak had been listening in with the necklace, she'd have face-palmed at Dib's terrible attempt at a fake name. And then mentally tortured him later. But, fortunately for Dib -at least, for the moment- she wasn't.

"By the way, when you reveal the scam at that Turpit place, would you make sure to include my name? Oh, and, uh, Tik-tak's name, as well!" Dib added this last part, just in case Tak was actually listening in. She wasn't, but she didn't care about any of that. The desire for her to not hate him, though, _was_ admirable.

"Uhrm...sure...we're getting that taken care of," Darkbooty lied. Then, having Dib's full attention at last, he added, "By the way, we've heard some very strange, er...how should I say...? You were the last one known to be searching for the legendary 'Heart Ripper' necklace... You didn't happen to...run into _it_ or anyone who owns it, did you?"

"Okay, that's ANOTHER THING!" Dib retorted suddenly, "Where's all this 'Heart Ripper' nonsense coming from!? I mean, even in the most obscure mentions of it, it was NEVER called by that name! Usually it was just the 'Heart's Eye' necklace, or something similar. Why's this such a big deal all of a sudden?! I mean, it's not like it's _that_ dangerous, or something!... To tell the truth, I've never noticed anything that terrible about it!" Then he almost put his hand over his mouth -he wasn't supposed to reveal that he had it! Was he?! Well, not technically anymore, he didn't have it...

"You-WHAT!?" Exclaimed Agent Darkbooty. "Agent Mothman, what are you saying?! You mean you HAVE IT!?"

"Erm! W-Well, _not...anymore_...!" He replied, sweatdropping. "And it's not that dangerous! Where's all this 'Heart Ripper' nonsense coming from!?" He quickly inquired again to try to change the subject.

Sighing, Agent Darkbooty decided to start from the beginning, before this conversation got too out of hand. "We were contacted with an anonymous tip that the necklace had come into someone's possession; it didn't say who, although the description it gave of the necklace was accurate enough for us to identify. It called the necklace the 'Heart Ripper', and also cited some very revealing information about what it had done in the past. Being that even possession of this necklace is dangerous in itself, we set out to make sure that no one could get their hands on it -even if that meant destroying it!"

Dib gasped, "_DESTROYING_ IT!? But- but you're Paranormal _Investigators_! Not Paranormal Destroyers!" He hated the idea of destroying anything that could give evidence of paranormal phenomenon, especially when there was no immediate danger that he could see. "I don't believe it! What's WRONG with you!?" He added, just for emphasis.

"Look, Agent Mothman, I can understand your feelings, but this isn't something cursed like the Klopman Diamond! It's quite possible that this necklace could have a mind of its own! It _is_ a psychic amplifying stone, after all. There's several theories as to what makes it so hard to utilize, but one theory is that once it has a psychic connection with someone, its unintelligent will uses their intelligence to think. In that case, it's about as dangerous as a werewolf!"

"As a _werewolf_?! No, no, _seriously_, I can't accept that comparison. Maybe a phantom, but a _werewolf?_ Just what makes you think that that person, whoever they were, was telling the truth?! Couldn't it all just be a trick to get their hands on it? Not that I have it, though." Dib added this last part as an afterthought.

"I- we never really thought of that..." Agent Darkbooty seemed rather ashamed of that realization. "In any event, I'll forward you the E-Mail and you can check it out for yourself. In the meantime, do you have any idea of _where it went?!_ Remember, Agent Mothman, this is VERY important! Lives could be at stake!"

"I-I-!" Dib started, and realized that he was faced with his most hated dilemma. Lie to his only human associates, the Swollen Eyeball Network, who'd been like the closest he'd ever had to having friends (who weren't related to him), or betray Tak, the alien whom he was working with as a partner, and whom he'd been eager to give that necklace to in order to defeat Zim. Also, couldn't she just attack him psychically through the link on his finger? "I can't remember," suddenly he'd had the strongest urge of self-preservation. He also had bad acting. "I'm really sorry, but, uh, I'll let you know, just as soon as I find anything!"

Agent Darkbooty eyed him with one unseen eyebrow raised, but then said, "Uh...ooohkaaayyy..."

"Okay, I, uhm... It's dinner-time! Gotta' go!" Dib pressed the button to turn off the screen saying, "'Bye!" then sat there, panting slightly, also wondering at how he'd managed to pull that off so suddenly.

He seriously needed to think. And then talk with Tak. He shuddered to think what kind of horrible things could happen if the Swollen Eyeball Network found out he was lying.

0

* * *

0

There were a couple of days of painfully blissful silence. Tak had decided that just allowing Dib to search for Psychic Instructors on his own was a serious waste of time, although Dib had claimed that it would take some time before one could be found. Usually, these kinds of psychic phenomenon resulted in people being either venerated or impaled; depending on the country and the dominant religion. And on how many opportunities there are to make money with them. But Tak didn't want another wasted attempt; and if the Swollen Eyeball Network was getting suspicious about that necklace, then she didn't want them involved with this.

Zim had also been rather quiet lately; but Dib didn't think that was particularly a good thing. Curiously enough, he'd noticed he was spending a lot less time watching Zim than he did trying to figure out this "Psychic Powers" mess. Sort-of made sense, then, why his sister kept making jokes about them hanging out together. No, not really. It still made no sense, other than that she wanted to torment him.

His dad was also still upset about the missing insects, although he'd turned the house upside-down to look for them. No, really -they had to put everything back in its place after the house was upright again. But no trace of either the insects or the package was found, making it greatly mysterious indeed. Also, the lights kept blinking on and off. Dib would usually note that this was evidence of paranormal phenomenon, but his dad didn't stop long enough in the search to listen to this; even so, Dib had other things on his mind.

Waiting until the Swollen Eyeball Network found out anything was pointless, since they seemed much more interested in that "Heart Ripper" necklace thing than simply finding a Psychic Instructor. Also, Tak seemed to think it was best if they didn't know that she had it. Dib agreed that would be the best course for now; so why did he feel like he was betraying them?

Sighing and sitting down heavily in his computer chair, he thought about going over that letter again. The writer seemed to know something about the necklace, as he was in possession of it for quite some time. And yet, even as he portrayed the events that lead up to his heartbreak and disappointment, one couldn't shake the feeling that it was being embellished just a slight bit to keep persons from finding and using the necklace.

In any case, Dib needed to be on his toes for the next "Psychic Adventure", but he still felt unenthused. Just why wasn't he brimming with excitement over finding new evidence of psychic powers, _and _alien psychics, to boot? He couldn't tell where his current melancholy was coming from.

There was a beeping on his computer screen. Tak was calling him. Answering it, he found himself yet again talking to the outer-space "babe" that had decided to turn the anti-grav on his world. _(A/N: Highly likely, that is the LAMEST line I've ever written~! *Laughs*)_ "Hi, Tak," he said just as unenthused as he felt.

"Hi, I've found something that might be of use to us. The Madame Porkfundh is appearing in the Las Sasquatch's Rouletabille show -you know the one?" She was never one to poke around the bush.

"You mean the one held in Rouletabille Square, with all of the best magicians and entertainers?" Tak nodded. "I know the one. Why? Is she giving a special class on it or something?" He asked, slightly skeptical.

"No, not really," replied Tak, smirking. "But, if I can observe her techniques, with my telepathic abilities, I should be able to learn from her how to use them."

Dib's skepticism was fairly based: The Madame Porkfundh was moderately popular in entertainment and had made mass amounts of money by plying and trading her "Art", but there was no documented evidence to support whether or not her powers were real. What's more, she didn't allow _any outsiders_ backstage, and she didn't give any demonstrations of her powers aside from the professional venues.

It was more than suspect, given these factors, as to whether or not it was actually psychic abilities, or just prestidigitation. "But she won't ever allow anyone backstage during her act! She _also_ won't give free demonstrations, not even for news crews! The fact is, there's an awful lot of suspicious things..-"

Dib stopped when he saw the angered look on Tak's face. "Okay, so I guess that means we're going to the show...?" He sighed. Another 300$ down the drain...

Despite the fact that she could simply read Madame Porkfundh's mind when she saw her, Tak still didn't like Dib's attitude about this. "Well, then, if you think it's such a waste of time, you can wait in the audience! I'll only be a short few minutes; after I sneak in with my invisibility, I can easily catch Madame Porkfundh and find out for myself. Or, better yet! I can use my newly-powered hypnotic suggestion to make her go out on stage and tell the audience whether or not it's a lie!" She smiled mischievously to herself. There were _some_ perks to having stronger psychic abilities.

Dib smiled at the thought of a famed "psychic" exposing themselves onstage. "Alright, then. But this time, you're paying for yourself!"

"Oh, I don't really need to. I can just hand them a colored piece of paper and 'convince' them it's my ticket." She replied easily.

"Oh," Dib pouted. Looks like he wasn't getting revenge for her annoyance-treatment any time soon.

Tak then smirked and said, "I'll see you at the Square Theatre at 3 minutes past 12:00. Don't be late~!" She ended the call. Dib wondered why she had to pick such a strange time.

...And what was she going to do to him if he WAS late...?!

0

* * *

0

"Hey, there," replied the Bigfoot, Mr. Harry Misanthropomorph, to his vid-cell-phone.

"Mr. Mary, you're _late_ in explaining just WHAT in the HECK was going on, there!" Replied Bill Beauregard the Sasquatch, on the other end. Some others were in the background, also interested in hearing what had happened.

"Look, I'm really sorry," began Harry.

"SORRY!?" The others interjected.

"But something _happened_," Harry stressed this last part and waited until the people on the other end got the clue.

"Okay, dude, what happened!?" Sighed Bill, calming himself down with deep breaths.

But then another call came in. It was the Yeti, Fredrick Frankenstean. "Oh, it's Yued! I'll connect him," Harry said, using Fred's nick-name given to him because of some funny mix-ups with an exchange student of his. "Hey, there, Fred! We got Bill and rest on the other line, too. Party-line!"

Sighing, Fred said, "Okay, just great!"

"_NOW_, then... just what happened out there?!" Came another voice over Bill's line, which turned out to be Mrs. Misanthropomorph, Harry's mother.

"M-_Mother_~!" Moaned Harry, although he soon composed himself. "It was like this: We were waiting inside the hair salon next to that 'Turpit Out' place, waiting to see what was going on."

Fred continued for him. "Dib, the big-headed kid, ended up waiting outside for some reason. He looked like he was pushed out the door."

Harry picked up where he left off. "Yeah, but after a few minutes, there was nothing else happening, meaning that that other girl who was with him," Fred picked up from here.

"The girl had a disguise on, but seemed to smell the same as the one that's been hanging out with him for a while, now."

"Yeah, that one," continued Harry, "She was still inside. An' so Freddy an' I," Fred interrupted and continued.

"We decided to use one of those 'Milky Holes', those clear portals, to sneak in through the back storage area to see what was going on."

"BUT, THEN," added Harry more excitedly, "We ran into some _other_ people who were in there, probably for the same reason."

"Mmm-hmm..." added Fred. Then, after a moment's pause, he added, "You know, I heard them say the names, 'Agent Disembodied Head' and 'Agent Floaty Ghost'."

Another person on Bill's side exclaimed, "Oh! I've heard those names before! They're from the Swollen Eyeball Network, right?" This person turned out to be Bill's brother and Harry's nephew-in-law.

"Yep, that's right," replied Harry blandly. "In any case, we escaped without them discovering who we were, but we still listened in to find out what went on inside that little 'Training Room'."

"Which was a REAL WICKED TRICK, I tell you," replied Fred, remembering back about using the portal to extend a cup to the wall of the training room to find out what they were saying. No matter how bad it sounded, he was the master of eavesdropping. Not that...he really _USED_ it unless it was necessary~...

"As we all know, you _are_ the master~!" Replied Harry's mother from the other end of the phone. Fred just sweatdropped and continued the story.

"Anyways, no one was in there, but there _was_ a really crazy set-up -well, not really _crazy_, just stupid." Continued Fred, "There was this dental chair with the arm-light still attached -'cept where the light would've been, there was this hair-dryer! *Laughs* And a burnt-out one at that! It looks like the girl broke the thing and left!"

"Plus, there was a spoon on the side-table attached to the dental arm-light. I mean, REALLY! A SPOON!?" Exclaimed Harry with a laugh.

The others had a good laugh at that. "But, okay, what did you _find_?" Continued Bill, urgently.

"Nothing," replied Harry. "The two were long gone when we finally got there, and we couldn't find any more clues."

"Okay, okay, Mary," sighed Bill on the other end. "Well, even though you guys found nothing, _we've_ just got some good news," Bill said unexpectedly.

"Some _good_ news?" Asked Harry, raising an eyebrow. _(A/N: You just be glad that pun wrote itself!)_

"Yeah, Billy just texted us -the big-eyed Billy- and he said that there's some unusual movement on the MIB front. You two'd better be careful out there, or you'll get stuck in the middle of it!" Said Bill, ironically pointing to another Billy off-screen who'd received the text from his second cousin with the big eyes, also named Billy.

"What? Why are _they_ moving-"

"What are they after?!" Exclaimed Fred, interrupting Harry.

"Don't worry, but we'll find out -no Tesslies 'till then, ya' know?" Replied Billy. "Tesslies", a code-word for the famed "Nikola Tessla", was used to indicate cell-phones or other devices which could be tapped by the government's Men in Black agency. And since they specifically liked keeping paranormal things locked up conspiratorially, the Sasquatches and other related species had to be particularly careful.

Sighing, Fred said, "Okay, okay, I know," and then hung up, leaving just Bill and Harry on the line. He knew that they could possibly be tracing this line, and that asking questions about them was sure to make them suspicious.

"Gggrrr... Those guys...!" Grumbled someone on Bill's side of the line.

"We're citizens, _too_, ya' know!?" Exclaimed someone from the back.

"Okay, fine, okay...*sigh* I'll still see you guys for coffee, right?" Asked Harry, trying to divert attention.

"Oh, yeah, sure!" Said a voice from over Bill's shoulder. It was Bill's sister, Spitty, and she sure was sweet on Harry. He still didn't know what to feel for her, though. Did he _really_ like her...? Or were the perks of having someone crochet you mittens clouding his brain...? Oh, wait, back to the plot-line...

"Whatever, it's our daily thing, right?" Replied Bill, squinting at his sister in a little look that said, "Do you _really_ have to sweeten him up right _now_?" Turning back to the cell-phone screen, he was suddenly pushed out of the way by Harry's much shorter mother, who was straining to look at the screen. Bill held it down for her.

"You'll _love_ the little pancake-cookies I baked! You an' that sweet little Spitty'll have such a nice time~!" She said, smiling in that insanely happy-sweet way that mothers have. Harry knew that she was conspiring to get him and Spitty together, but he still couldn't stand her meddling.

"Yeah, okay, I'll, uh, see you later, er, for coffee," replied Harry, groaning outwardly and inwardly as he turned off the screen.

"See you later, honey~!" Came the cheerful sound of his mother's voice echoing in his head after he'd hung off. He sighed. Terrible Psychic Necklace, aliens -who are also psychic-, the big-head kid, The Swollen Eyeball Network, the MIB, _AND_, family meddling to set him up with Spitty all in one day!? He seriously needed a drink.

0

* * *

0

Back at Dib's house, it was the next day, and Agent Darkbooty had called him for something very important. Dib had jumped when he heard the ship beeping; he was inside "his" ship, doing some work, and didn't expect the ship to be forwarding his calls. Agent Darkbooty's darkened head with red eyes appeared on the ship's holo-screen. "You...haven't noticed any..._suits_ following you...have you?" He skipped all pleasantries and went straight to the point.

Dib's eyes widened, perceptible with the "Swollen Eyeball Network Filter" as two large red balls enlarging. "You're..." suddenly he realized what Agent Darkbooty had been referring to, "Oh! Uhm, no. Not _really_..." mumbled Dib, unsure. He hadn't been paying any attention to things like that; he was too busy finding a way to get the ship to camouflage itself as a car without being snarky about it. It wasn't working.

"Okay, good," replied Agent Darkbooty with what seemed like a deep breath, "Since we've been investigating this necklace," Dib stiffened, but the darkening filter on his face showed nothing, "it seems that other agencies, perhaps even government agencies, have become...interested."

Dib's eyes seemed to sag, "Oh, no..."

"Oh, _yeah_. In any case, keep a careful eye out for _any_thing unusual. Alright?!" Agent Darkbooty didn't seem to realize yet that Dib knew where the necklace was. Yet he was adamant about his involvement.

"Yeah, sure! I'll make sure to-" but Dib was interrupted.

"Okay, good- I'll contact you later." Agent Darkbooty hung up in a hurry.

"He must've been worried someone was hacking his signal. Well, if the Men in Black are involved in this, it _would_ be a problem." Dib found himself mumbling seemingly to no one.

{Hm? What?} Asked the computer, wishing that he'd speak up at the very least whenever he was talking out loud to himself. Dib didn't hear this, though, as he was lost in thought.

Looking back at the blank screen Dib sighed and said, seemingly at the computer, but mostly to himself: "It looks like we're going to have to contact Tak."

{Yeah,} said the computer, {It's a good thing Irken communications aren't easily detectable...}

"Uh-huh -HEY, NO, WAIT!" Exclaimed Dib, "I've tapped into _Zim's_ communications before! I mean, it's _NOT_ that difficult!"

{Only on the _unmodified_ transmissions...} replied the computer smugly.

Dib just raised an eyebrow, as the computer made the modified connection to Tak's base.

* * *

Tak raised her eyes as she looked at the screen. An unmodified transmission could possibly be tracked, but most people on this planet couldn't or wouldn't think to look for one on such a frequency. But this time things were different. Not _only_ had Dib contacted her on her _own coded_ frequency, but also was informing her of a government agency that would be possibly monitoring _all_ frequencies of people who were connected with paranormal activity. She wasn't liking this. But she couldn't show any concern in front of the big-headed Dib. Who knows what his paranormal-noia would cause him to do?!

"Yes, yes, I get it! It seems the psychic frequency is the most useful to us for now." She seemed to sigh, as if relenting to something. "I'll give you _permission_ to contact me _if it's important,_ not for random chat!" Then, she added mentally, 'I'll keep the necklace around my neck and hidden in my PAK like I usually do. If we're dealing with someone at least as smart as you, we can count on them at least picking up this transmission, if not deciphering it. And remember: DON'T speak OUT LOUD!'

"Right, right, I got it!" Sighed Dib, then he turned off the screen as the transmission ended. It was another three days until The Madame Porkfundh's show, and he had to keep things on the down-low until then. He also had to keep an eye on Zim, just in case he was up to something. It was another full week up ahead.

0

* * *

0

Philoism: just what was this mysterious term? Studying the encoded files retrieved from an inexplicably exploded MIB warehouse had revealed nothing; although this word was mentioned an awful lot.

Despite its name, it was not very descriptive, and was talked about antagonistically. As if it posed a threat. Darkbooty had heard of something similar, but just using that same term to describe it did not make it the same. The more he read the less likely it was some sort of religious cult; or hippies.

Agent Darkbooty sighed as he leaned back from his computer screen. After he'd read the report from Agent Floaty Ghost, he almost began to wonder if it was related. It was composed of the ancient Greek word "Philo", meaning love, and the suffix "ism", that referred to "A doctrine, theory, principle, system, or practice of; abstract idea of that signified by the word to which it is subjoined; as in, monothe_ism_, spiritual_ism_, republican_ism_, etc..".

It was not very clear, but it made one suspect that the heart-shaped necklace which had always been associated, with not only psychic powers, but also personal relationships as well -though not as often- was related. Though, it could just be that he was overworked. Agent Darkbooty had also recently begun to suspect the youngest member of the Eyeballs, Dib.

Yes; although he'd seemed very assured about not knowing the necklace's whereabouts, Agent Darkbooty had been around long enough to notice horrendously bad acting when he saw it. _Some_thing, not just that, was making him act that way.

At first, he'd somewhat attributed it to the psychic power of the necklace. But noticing that he'd been seen with someone else on that day at the scam "Psychic Spa", the "Turpit Out", made him suspect that some_one_ was making him nervous. Though Dib had claimed that his "friend" needed help with controlling her psychic powers, why was he hiding things from them?

It was the fairest question: previously Dib would've bothered them constantly on any little paranormal thing he could find. But now, Agent Darkbooty could hardly get in contact with him. Was it simply because he now had a friend about his own age, whom he could enjoy spending time with? He could be flaking out because of that. But his body-language, despite the black filter with red glowing eyes, was so wrong!

Or was it because he was afraid of his new friend being exposed? Perhaps that was it. It would fit in with the nervousness; however, he wouldn't think Dib would be so afraid of The Swollen Eyeball Network that he couldn't trust them! They looked for evidence of paranormal activity in order to show the world evidence of the paranormal. Even if the tests were a bit harsh, she shouldn't have anything to fear from them.

Although there was the possibility that wasn't so felicitous. Perhaps she _wasn't _a friend: perhaps she was just _using_ him? In that case, what if he was afraid he'd come to harm if he didn't go along with her? No, no, this idea was still all wrong. Even if he was staring Mars in the face, this boy was too stupid -bless his huge head- to ever back down! (That was, Mars the PLANET -although the idea of the god which inspired the name coming to Earth _was_ intriguing.)

Finally, the worst possible alternative which Darkbooty couldn't ever fathom: was Dib turning against them...?! Even though it seemed a most likely scenario, Agent Darkbooty still couldn't wrap his head around it. Even if he was foolish enough to _give her_ the necklace, did that mean that he seriously wanted to oppose them? All possibilities pointed to yes; yet it was the _worst_ possible scenario, and the _most unlikely_ for Dib. His personality was more that of a "tortured for his work" angry philosopher who'd just proven the existence of the outer planets... Not the type who'd do _anything_ for his own profit! In fact, he rather had his dad's personality in that respect.

Sighing and shaking his head, he went back to his report. Perhaps the facts gleaned from this "Love-ism" problem could be related to his current concerns over securing the Swollen Eyeball Network's "Paranormal Hotline"? Since those who encountered paranormal phenomenon out there in the world still needed everyday advice. And the agent assigned to work on it had called in sick with the "Strepticoccys Malaria Styroyphomeine", a very deadly, new virus. _(A/N: Not real, so don't bother!)_

He tried to put his thoughts about Dib's mysterious problems aside while he worked on it, but the word kept running through his head. 'Philo, love, ism, love ism, philo philo, love love love, ism...' Stopping a minute to glare at the screen and focus, he sighed as it still said, 'ism'. He hated these circular thoughts. Possibly he was OCD. But not enough to be discovered at his workplace as a paranormal investigator. 'Philo, philo, phi, lo, ism'. "AAARRRGGEEE!" He screamed, holding his head in his hands.

Nobody paid any attention to the Janitor sitting at his computer in the Janitor's closet, holding his head in his hands and screaming.

No, seriously!

There were fresh crullers to be had.

0

* * *

0

One week later was the Las Sasquatch's Rouletabille show. The first two acts included a psychic who could predict the weather with his nose -this act was rather new, compared to toes and shoulders. The second one was somebody's "Excited, Floating Chinchilla" act, along with a barrel of "complementary" monkeys. And finally, appearing for the grand total sum of about 9,000 dollars a time, (Tak found this out when she snuck backstage,) The Madame Porkfundh.

Dib had lined up along with the overexcited crowd, despite Tak's assurance that she could do this herself. Finally getting up to the ticket counter, Dib took a quick look around to see if he could spot Tak -good, no sign, even of her disguise. He didn't think she'd try going in the front, but it was good to keep an eye out for any trouble. She didn't exactly trust him to come to her rescue; and he didn't want any trouble here.

Buying his ticket, he surveyed the scene. Though the ticket-takers were standing lamely out in the open, there were turnstiles at the doors where people _had_ to insert their ripped tickets into the machines in order to enter. With the number of people, this meant a lot of confusion and congestion.

Getting through the crowd of people to the ticket-taker to rip his ticket in half was hard enough. But the turnstiles were even harder! After being bumped and jabbed for what felt like the millionth time, Dib finally made his way to the theater. Tak was no doubt backstage, doing...something! Looking towards the stage, he tried to think of what she might be planning on doing to Madame Porkfundh. Maybe if she _was_ a fake, she'd have her announce her farce onstage for the world to hear and see?! 'Cause that'd be pretty cool.

Backstage, Tak was up to something completely different...

Tak had easily walked past everyone with her invisibility. Going in through the back door while stage hands went in and out, walking past and around the chaos before the show in a dizzying display of agility, and, finally, making it to The Madame Porkfundh's dressing room. This would be the slightly harder part.

She had to convince her that she should answer her questions, and if it turned out that she was a fake, she could just leave. Simple. Suddenly a thought struck her. 'Why don't I just use the necklace to sense whether or not she has psychic powers?' The simplicity of this was such a surprise: usually she'd have figured that out a long time ago. The typical explanation/blame would be Dib, but she knew she couldn't blame him for her momentary lapse in thinking while planning her own infiltration of this place.

Sighing, focused on the stone inside her PAK, and tried to relax enough to sense the woman beyond the door. If it _was_ a woman. (She'd had some horrifying revelations about things like that; that she didn't wish to re-live.)

Though she hadn't really ever tried to use it like this, there was no problem with the necklace. It didn't seem like there was any resistance, and a few faded "dots" of mental light came into her mind's view. It was really more like a physical sense, yet in her mind, like feeling several things in a radius around herself, only faintly at first, until she focused more intently on her prize. Yes, the woman was in there. But did she have psychic powers? ...Dang-it, just whenever she needed it, it stopped working. She could still sense the people around her, but nothing to tell her their psychic proficiency, if at all.

There was someone coming up close to her. Tak opened her eyes which had involuntarily closed during her concentration and looked around. No one out of the ordinary, just a couple of guys in black suits. They looked too nondescript to be the typical folk who frequented backstage here, but Tak thought they looked like bodyguards of some sort. They even had the little communicator ear-fobs. Stepping aside to let them by, she wondered slightly if some one would notice the door opening of itself. She was still invisible, and she didn't think most people around here, being so busy, would notice.

Just as she was considering why those two in the black suits weren't moving from the side of the door, but, rather, looked like they were about to knock at it, the door opened and The Madame Porkfundh herself came running out, steaming mad because she hadn't had her cup of coffee in four minutes, after waiting for it for nine of those. Tak wondered on her grasp of numbers, but figured it would be as good a time as any to walk into her room and wait for her to return.

But before she could move to go inside, the two black suits, looking one way and then the other, moved first. One stayed outside as the guard, and the other went in. Tak couldn't hear what they said to each other, but the one word that stood out, was "Necklace". Not wanting to be next on their "to do" list, Tak quickly walked towards the direction of the refreshment table, sensing where Madame Porkfundh went.

She could now somewhat sense where the people were around her, although it was still just as confusing as her own 360-degree eyesight. But now knowing what The Madame Porkfundh's mind felt like, she was able to follow her short distances -enough to find the direction she went in.

Coming up to the woman who was grabbing a coffee crankily and shoving doughnuts into her napkin, Tak glanced around. Deactivating her invisibility, she switched to her hologram. This time she tried a different design, having already come up with several different "aliases" to use. She turned towards The Madame Porkfundh and addressed her. The flash of light shone from one eye to the other as she spoke.

Down in the audience, Dib had a hard time finding a place to sit, but finally decided on -and by "decided", I mean that he was pushed into a spot forcefully and told to sit down- somewhere near the middle of the fourth row. Sighing and trying to spot Tak, he was finally growing tired of this first opening act of "psychic" weather predictions with a person's nose when it ended. Everybody clapped as the act ended and the highly-anticipated next act began, which had something to do with an over-excited chinchilla.

That poor rodent had obviously been through enough, but when they brought out the "complimentary" barrel of monkeys, -that was usually used only at high-paying venues- its heart-rate seemed to practically go through the roof! Dib wondered how that thing could survive as he grew bored of their terrorizing a pathetic chinchilla. Although the floating _was _unusual... He tried looking around again to spot Tak, but couldn't find her or any of her latest holographic disguises, anywhere.

He wondered briefly if she'd be upset if he just asked where she was. Why did she ask for such a specific meeting time and then leave, just as he was getting tickets? Where was she, was she in the back?! He desperately wanted to be there to see Madame Porkfundh admit for herself about whether she was psychic or not! And he really didn't like her leaving him out of it.

Deciding that he couldn't stand this anymore, he shoved his way through the seats to the aisle, then, pretending to head to the restrooms, went towards the backstage area and snuck in. It was ridiculously easy, he'd decided. But suddenly he was stopped by a hand in front of his face.

"HOLD IT! Where do you think _you're_ going?!"

Looking up to see that that hand was attached to a person, who was looking down at him like a little stray rat, he gasped. "Uhm, urm, I'm, uh..."

"Backstage is for performers and stagehands, ONLY! *Mumbles* Stupid performers, never have enough stagehands..." The man now seemed preoccupied with his clipboard that he was carrying.

"But, uh...I, AM a stagehand!" Replied Dib, grinning slightly. He _was_ getting a little better at acting. But not too much.

Looking up from his clipboard with renewed hope in his eyes, the person said, "REALLY!?" Then, after taking a look at him, "You're kind-of short. Aren't you a kid?"

"Hey!" Replied Dib reflexively. Then, catching himself, he said, "I'm, uh, just super-short! Yeah, but, uh, hey! Don't worry! I'm actually pretty strong!" He held his arms up as if he was weight-lifting: or perhaps just flexing.

Looking down at him, the guy said, "Yeah, well, I guess you're small enough to get into those tight spaces. Okay!" He then looked up and said, "YOU CAN LET 'ER DOWN!" There was apparently someone up above him on the catwalk, holding a massive load of carpets and boxes, who let it drop down on top of Dib when he heard this.

Dib grunted and strained under the pressure, but after being knocked flat, was finally able to pull himself up and follow the person's pointing finger to where it needed to go. Apparently it went into the "Wardrobe and Props" area. Huh. Dib never did get the name of that guy.

After dropping off the load in the Props department, Dib wandered out of the aforementioned room, looking for Tak. He couldn't just find her like this. He _needed_ to use the psychic link! Flinching a bit as he prepared for a psychic screaming-fest, Dib thought, 'Tak! Hey, Tak! Are you there? Where _are_ you?! I waited in the audience, but when you didn't show up, I-' he continued on in his mind until Tak interrupted him.

'I'm right here,' said Tak, appreciative when he shut up to let her talk. 'I've just talked to the "Madame Porkfundh", and there'll be quite a surprise for the show tonight;' she giggled, 'But, what are you doing? Didn't I say to wait and not to do-' a couple of people passed by her, and she wondered what those two men in black suits had been up to. 'To do anything?' She finished.

"*GASP*!" Dib gasped as he caught that stray thought. Clasping his hand over his mouth, he thought, 'Did YOU say, "men in black suits"?!'

Blinking, and looking in the direction she guessed he was standing in, she thought back, 'Yes... What? Why?' Then it dawned on her, '_Oh_, that! You don't have to worry about the Men in Black, they didn't see me. Anyways, let's get out of here; we can watch the rest of the show from the audience.' Then, leaning on the refreshment table and inspecting a doughnut, she took a look at the catwalk as if just casually relaxing. 'If we don't get out of here, soon, I'm going to get sick from all these annoying Earthlings bustling around...!' She thought to herself.

There was a rat that ran out from under the refreshment table, further intensifying her disgust of this place.

'Tak! Oh, there you are, I can see you, you have those same feet -I mean, boots on!- hey, we need to get out of here!' Dib thought as he came running towards her.

"Hey, Midget Boy!" Shouted someone as they headed for Dib. "We need these 'Psychic Tables' moved out onto the stage for 'The Madame Porkfundh''s act!" He seemed to be holding some red spatula of sorts.

"Gwauh!" Dib said as he was intercepted. 'Dang-it!' He mentally cursed himself. He needed to get out of here with Tak before they were noticed by the Men in Black! They didn't know her, of course, but they did know Dib -or, at least, he was sure they'd have a file on him, since he was always calling people like the FBI about paranormal activity- and they were sure to try asking him "some questions".

'Oh, NO,' thought Tak back at him sarcastically, 'I guess I'll just wait for you outside; see you out back.' She then started to turn and wander towards the door.

There was a strange commotion just then. Everyone saw some gaseous smoke billowing outwards from the floor near the stage, then turned to see some strange men in boring, black suits signalling them to stay still and pay attention.

Tak looked in slight shock, realizing that they must be making their move -since they couldn't find anything in The Madame Porkfundh's room, they were stopping everyone backstage to possibly question them. Though Tak tried to read their minds, they were apparently blocked with something.

Swirling around, Tak made her way towards the door, only to be blocked by the security: who were under their strict orders not to let anyone (or anything) out. Tak had just enough time before the smoke reached her to tell Dib, 'Security's blocked off the exits! Those stupid Men in Black have set off some kind of smoke bomb in here! Perhaps they're going to search everyone once they're unconscious? In any case, get out of here, quick! I'll turn invisible when I can; don't _argue_ with me, just DO it!'

Coughing from the smoke, Dib shouted, "What!?" before finally covering his mouth and running for an area with less smoke. It was hard to find any place that wasn't permeated by now, but by the Men in Black's speech, they weren't telling people the truth; they were just saying someone had set some strange smoke stuff up and they were going to disarm it.

Dib finally stumbled as he reached a table. Holding onto the edge, he shook his head, then crawled underneath it. It was like he felt woozy for some reason, although he couldn't figure out why.

The Men in Black were continuing to explain all what they needed from everyone; and although he could hear some of it, hiding underneath this table was blocking most of the sound-waves. Or perhaps it was just his woozy head? Finding what looked like a "tunnel" behind the table he was under, Dib crawled through it, hoping to escape the inane thunder of the Men in Black's commanding voices.

This wasn't easy, but as he made his way through, he bumped into something else. Something blinking. Blinking and opening his own eyes a little wider, Dib came to find out exactly what he'd suspected it was. 'It's a _bomb_!' Was his slightly subdued mental exclamation.

Tak was finding her way to a secluded spot to become invisible without any notice when she heard this. 'WHAT?!' She replied, wondering why she couldn't sense something like that with the psychic stone. At least THAT would be more useful than stumbling around in the smoke, trying to avoid guards!

'There's a bomb here, and it's in a tunnel under this table,' came Dib's completely weird response. Oh, well. For all Tak knew, maybe Dib would be right for once, and he really _was_ in a tunnel under the table? But there was something worryingly calm about his response.

'Dib, this is TAK. Are you alright?' She asked, coughing and finally settling on hiding behind a coat on a coat-rack. She didn't know what this smoke was supposed to do to humans, but there was no time to examine it, and it didn't seem to be affecting her. Perhaps it just put them into a more "managable" frame of mind, so they'd be open to suggestion...? But she could find out all she needed to know just by examining how it affected Dib.

'Don't be too tairdy, I'm fine~!' Replied Dib in his mind, then, after thinking a minute, 'I think I need to move out from this bomb, it's making weird things and funny with my mind.'

This wasn't the best thing Tak could hear from him, but at least he'd be out of the way -maybe- until she could cloak herself and come find him. Or escape. Escaping first seemed better, but it was too risky if he was left behind and he talked. 'DON'T come out from your hiding-place, Dib! I think these Men in Black have released a chemical into the air which makes people susceptible to suggestion.'

Dib continued crawling away from the bomb, and giggled somewhat drunkenly as she mentioned this. 'Sort-of like _you_!' He replied, still snickering. His hand hit something and he shook it to make it feel better before moving on.

'Yes, yes,' Tak rolled her eyes. The coast was finally clear. She inched along the wall towards the coats and kept an eye on the scenery. Nothing had changed so far. 'Dib, just keep hidden. And _DON'T_ come out until I tell you to!' She added for emphasis. She hoped it pierced his somewhat inebriated mind.

Just as she looked up again, Tak saw two large -well, to her, large- people standing over her. "Well, well. Just what are YOU doin'?!" Asked one of them.

"I'm just..following orders." Replied Tak carefully as she used her "suggestive hypnosis". The light went unnoticed to the other two.

"The orders were to line up along _the other_ back wall," the other man pointed to the large wall on the opposite side.

"Oh, is that the wall they meant?" Tak smiled, hoping she could act dumbly enough. It either wasn't working, or the "suggestive hypnosis" didn't work when a person's mind was under the influence of mind-altering chemicals. She'd have to check on that. But, for now, they reached over and tried to grab her to pull her over to the other wall. The other half of this team was still stumbling over his hands and feet in the "tunnel" behind the table.

But eventually, his dark tunnel ended and he found out it was inside a closet -or, it had a door, even if that wasn't what it was. Emerging from the closet, peering around the door, he was just in time to see Tak's hologramed disguise being grabbed at by some guards or something. He blinked his eyes. It was really hard to see in this smoke. Looking around, he decided on the first thing he found: a rope, hanging down from the ceiling. Smiling, and remembering some few random pirate movie scenes he'd seen somewhere before, he climbed up to it and untied the knot which held it to the metal frame-like beams.

Then he jumped. And swinging, screaming almost -but not quite- entirely unlike Tarzan, he flew though the air towards Tak, in a really surprising attempt to rescue her. It didn't work, but he _did_ manage to knock out the two guys who were trying to grab her. Righting his body, Dib focused on Tak once again, and this time he managed to grab onto her as he swung by. Truly shocked by this, Tak didn't have time to question how or why, as they both swung up toward the other wall.

'DIB! DIIIIB! LET GO OF IIIT!' Tak mind-screamed, grabbing at his hands with her free arm. The other arm was dedicated to holding onto his giant head. Dib then did something else that was entirely surprising.

'Okay,' he said, and let go, flinging the both of them into some of the props setting by the side of the wall. "Ouch!" He said as he sat up and rubbed his head. The shock of the fall felt like it had brought some of his sense back to him.

'Ulgh' Tak moaned as she pulled herself up from the pile. 'Dib! What happened!? Why didn't you do as I told you to!?' She stared intensely at him, hoping the glare was properly transmitted even through this holographic disguise. She wanted it to be as hateful.

"Oh!" Dib said as he suddenly remembered, "There's a BOMB! We have to get out of here!" Then, realizing he was speaking, he clasped his hands over his mouth with an 'Oh!'

'Okay...' Thought Tak as she stared up at the guards and several other people who were apparently now hypnotized into doing the Men in Black's bidding. Just like zombies. Huh! Moving into a crouching position, she thought about how she wouldn't be able to use this disguise again, as she prepared herself for a fight.

"Okay...!" Mumbled Dib under his breath. Then he spied the light of the exit sign, just ahead of them and to their left. 'The door! Tak, if we can make it past them, then we can get out of here!'

'Great,' thought Tak, wondering why she had to do all the work. 'Then let's get to it. One, two-'

The people ahead of them charged, causing Dib to shout, "GO!"

Tak did an impressive display of flipping one of them, then pulled out a laser and started shooting at them, while her spider-legs extended from her PAK, and she forced her way through the group. Dib dove out through the small openings that Tak made, dodging and flipping through the fray. Finally, they seemed to be in the clear. Heading for the door, they almost fell back when the two Men in Black stood before them. 'Huh. They were fast,' Thought Tak ironically.

They didn't look like they could move very fast: but then again, they didn't look like ordinary people. They looked almost suspiciously alike, and when they spoke, it was with those same, monotone voices. Their voices even sounded alike, if not exactly the same. Tak glared at them as they seemed to study them. 'Dib, we could use some _surprise_ right about now...!' Thought Tak, nervously. They needed a distraction, and fast.

"Hhhm..." Thought Dib with his hand on his chin, then he thought, 'I GOT IT!' And, racing off, he left Tak there to fend for herself.

Looking around at the scene, Tak had a sneaking suspicion that they had planned for this. But, just before she started backing off, Dib suddenly appeared from under the refreshment table with a box-like thing.

"EVERYONE, I JUST RE-WIRED THIS BOMB AND SET IT TO GO OFF IN FIVE SECONDS!" Dib shouted as he held it high above his head.

The remaining people who were "hypnotized" took a few seconds to register this before flailing and running, but the Men in Black stared at it with slightly widened eyes and said, "You actually did that!?" And suddenly running looked like a much better idea. As they and Tak soon found out.

Dib ran towards them and hurled the bomb forward. They were already backing off. 'GET DOWN HERE, TAK!' Dib yelled mentally, and for once he didn't forget to use mental commands in an intense situation. Yanking Tak over towards him, he grabbed onto the rope they'd been swinging on before, and decided, instead, to go up into the air to escape the blast. The bomb hit the wall, and didn't explode on impact.

But in two seconds it did, taking a large chunk out of the wall. The Men in Black had fled, and Dib and Tak were flung helplessly by the shockwaves in the air, before they subsided. As they swung towards the hole in the wall, Dib let go and Tak followed, finally landing face-down on the ground. There was another rumble as part of the wall gave way, and Dib instinctively put an arm over Tak as they ducked their heads. Looking up, -and realizing it was just a piece of concrete- they both sighed in relief.

They were lying out behind the theater, in a small section of parking lot near the truck loading zone. As Tak looked up behind them, she hoped the Men in Black hadn't survived.

'DANG-it, Dib! You're INSANE!' She told him mentally, wondering what in the heck made him act that way. 'You know, we could've been KILLED!' She didn't need him if he was planning on using bombs to save her all the time.

'Yeah, well -that's why you need me!' He replied, simply. He didn't make any sense, but Tak also had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to that strange gas. He seemed satisfied with this, though, as he stood and dusted himself off. 'Come on, let's get going. Those guys'll probably send the cops to pick us up.'

Blinking at this logical train of thought, Tak simply nodded and pulled herself up as well. 'I'll have to pick another hologram for the way home,' she thought as she dusted herself off and wondered about her sore spots.

'Nyeh, that's okay: I'll take you,' replied Dib calmly -then, pulling out a little communicator, he simply pressed a button on it, saying, "Come."

The ship pulled up to them disguised as a gray SUV. Tak raised a nonexistent eyebrow at him, impressed, and jumped in. They sped away, just as several other black suits appeared on the scene.

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Looking at the screen, Agent Darkbooty stared in disbelief. The facts looked like fiction. He just couldn't believe that the Men in Black would go to such lengths as "narcotic smoke-bombs" and a real bomb. No, wait, that wasn't it. What he _REALLY_ couldn't believe was the fact that, not only had Dib been there, but had survived the explosion, along with a friend. Who was a girl.

Dib hadn't sent the Swollen Eyeballs any report about this, but Darkbooty felt that this was somehow connected with that necklace. With the Men in Black on this case, it was imperative that they find it so others wouldn't be in danger of its affects.

Or of the people who wanted it.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

About the chosen excerpt from Lewis Carroll's work: Tak is Tweedledee and Dib is Tweedledum. Yup~! Oh, and I only _just_ realized exactly how fitting this is, since the rhyme refers to a "monstrous crow, as black as a tar-barrel", and Tak and Dib are facing off against THE MEN IN BLACK...! I know, I'm sloooow when it comes to realizing my mysteriously funny funnies! *Laughs*

About the "raised a nonexistent eyebrow" thing- I believe no IZ story is complete without this phrase. No, really! It's like, a LAW by now or something! *Laughs*

Okay, so watching "Warehouse 13" so much made me involuntarily add similar names to things...and Tessla was cool. *Nods*

If you read this, and you notice all the references...then GOOD FOR YOU! ...But I bet you STILL won't get two little references~! I'll give you a hint: One's from "Rainbow Brite", and the other is from a series of detective novels by Gaston Leroux. (Wish they'd get the translations at my Library... *Mumble grumbles*) If you figure out either of them, you get a cookie! Both, and you're probably a psychic! ...Or, just someone who read the intro to the BOOK "The Phantom of the Opera" by said author, _and_ who has the episodes of Rainbow Brite...

The Men in Black in this story are NOT like the movie MIB. They're similar to the myths surrounding these supposed government agents who work to suppress any knowledge of mysterious goings-on, aliens a particular favorite. Or so I remember from my Alien Obsession days! *Sighs* Man...watchin' Sightings, reading books about Close Encounters... Trying to deduce the fact from fiction... Spotting mysterious UFOs in the sky... Then I saw Anime`, and all bets were off! *Laughs*

Anyways, I never was interested in those ideas of "Government Conspiracies", and so please excuse me if I take a few liberties on some of this stuff: I'll try to make them as mysterious and implaccable as possible!

As for what the Men in Black were planning: They first wanted to use the gas to make people comply with their commands. Then, they would claim that there was "a bomb on the premises", to get everyone to evacuate so they could search for themselves. Why was there a real bomb there in the first place?! It was a PLOT DEVICE! ...No, really, I just figured they would do that because it would give them that "sense of realism", or something? And then call in the Bomb Squad to deal with it so it would look like a legitimate investigation? Hey, that sounds good! (I literally just realized that could work. D'oh!)

I can't think of anything else to mention, but a _VERY_ SPECIAL_ THANK-YOOOOUUUUUSSS!_ To ALL MY REVIEWERS!... All two of you! Much love, dudes, much love!

Pretty-please R+R!


	3. Gnatty Naughty Nitwits

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN IT!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yet another super-long chapter! This one might have to be cut in half, actually, since it's sooo looong! Although in terms of the story, this is only ONE chapter! *Laughs*

In this chapter, there's lots of stuff that I couldn't quite put in any other place; not because they didn't belong, but just because they're necessary for Dib and Tak to build a relationship -and also to keep them from screaming at each other! *Laughs* Seriously, at first, they kept fighting any time I put them in the same ROOM together!

I totally didn't plan on that, but with the way they both act, it's sure that they each want control and neither is willing to back down unless it means they'll get what they want; which, understandably, is quite normal. *Nods* Please note, most relationships are like that, people! Ah, what was I talking about?! I know that it wasn't marriage-counseling... Oh, yes! It was about the story...! Yeeesh, it's the story...!

The title is just because I couldn't think of anything else that was witty; and it's _really _fun to say~!

In any case, there's lots of references to things which you don't quite understand yet, and you REALLY won't unless you read my other story called, "To Have You in These Arms Tonight". It sheds some light on that rather mysterious persona, Dib and Gaz's mother! Along with the rest of the family; so this story won't seem as annoyingly vague and mysterious if you read that! (I hope to have it done by the time I update this, or shortly afterwards.)

If you look at this story, you'll notice that there's a _LOOOT _of page-breaks! *Whispers* Page-breaks are my friiieeendsss...!

Anyways, pretty-please enjoy! As always, there's Author's Notes at the end, too! (*Whispers* Pitty-pease Read and Review~!)

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**CHAPTER 3: Gnatty Naughty Nitwits**

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_...After this, Alice was silent for a minute or two, pondering. The Gnat amused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head: at last it settled again and remarked, 'I suppose you don't want to lose your name?'..._

_-Excerpt from Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking-Glass"_

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It had been quite a few weeks after the theater incident, and Tak sat at the kitchen table in Dib's house, talking amiably with him. Gaz sat on the couch, playing her brand-new Gameslave game, and the little dog sat there, too, drooling slightly in its sleep. From downstairs came the clattering of lab equipment and the sounds of their dad working fervently on the next I-DP-T.

If you'd like to know what had happened to cause such strange events, then you'd have to go back to the day after the "Theater Incident", when the Men in Black made a little call on Professor Membrane himself...

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The day after the pesky "Theater Incident", in which both Dib and Tak realized that the Men in Black were more than mildly interested in this psychic necklace, other things were afoot at the circle- er, happening at Professor Membrane's house.

The Professor himself had returned home to work on a few things. He also had to account for the loss of the extremely valuable new insect specimens; and by the time he was finished accumulating his report on the trouble _and_ including a sizable donation to the Technical Entomology Association which he'd borrowed them from, it was 8:00. Well, technically, it was 7:46, but there was an odd slight delay which he found puzzling. And even moreso, which he frowned upon greatly.

There was a knock at the door. Not that this was anything unexpected. He had just received a message from the Government's Top-Secret, Technology-Hoarding specialists, that he was to receive these visitors "customarily and to answer any questions they had."

Oh, he had a "custom" to receiving them, alright. But it wasn't to "answer any questions they had"! He'd found them specifically annoying when it came to his own technological and scientific break-throughs, so much so, that he'd developed his own "special technique" to dealing with them.

After letting them into the house, sure that the kids weren't around -Dib had been holed up in his room and Gaz was off at a Gaming Tournament at a friend's house- he began his own questioning.

"Good evening, Mr. Mem, last name nonexistent, stage-name and current alias Professor Membrane," said one of the two, strangely identical, men in black suits. At Professor Membrane's apparently stoic response to their knowledge of his real name, the man continued, "We are not hear to speak with you about your work."

The other man spoke up. "We are here to talk with you about your son, Dib."

If they expected him to give them any information before, then they'd be doubly-wrong now that they'd asked him about his son! Professor Membrane kept his stare calm and even, trying not to convey even the slightest bit of horror at this. It wasn't working, but still...

"Have you noticed anything peculiar about him, as of late?" Asked the first man. This man actually expected him to sell out his own son to _their_ peculiar office of the government?!

Professor Membrane's eyes narrowed in anger for a minute before he relaxed and said, "No."

"Any unusual acquaintances?" Asked the first man.

"None that I know of. Why do you want to know?" Asked Professor Membrane at last, dying of curiosity, though he knew they wouldn't answer.

"We'll ask the questions here, Sir." Replied the second man.

"We aren't going to get any information," Replied the first man. "We might as well use-"

"Security O-V-D42! Activated!" Exclaimed Professor Membrane. Suddenly Gaz's dolls, the only security system in the whole house not operated by the mainframe computer, hence un-hackable by the government's bizarre clone-freaks, activated, springing to life inside her room. He'd had her install an override code, just in case he needed it to control her dolls. He was her _father_, after all.

Pulling out a can of what looked like mace, the first man sprayed Professor Membrane in the face and then said, "Call off the security."

"Security O-V-D43, Stand down." Replied Professor Membrane in a monotone. Though a part of his brain was yelling at him not to listen to them, he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

"Good. Excellent." Said the first man as he put the little can of not-mace spray away.

"Now, you will tell us what we need to know," Said the second man. "Have you noticed anything peculiar about your son, Dib, lately?"

"Nothing. Only, he seems to have developed an interest in arachnids and insects, as of late," replied Professor Membrane in monotone.

"Ggrrr... Have you seen or noticed him to have any unusual acquaintances?" Asked the second man, angered that he couldn't get any information yet.

"None." Replied Professor Membrane, again in monotone. Although in the back of his head, he seemed to recall something about a girl with bright pink hair around the house, it was nothing specific, and so he couldn't exactly say that he had seen any new acquaintances of his son. Although he could run a scan to go through how many people had entered the house in the past month, but just as he was about to mention that, the other men talked.

"There's nothing here," replied the second man.

"Then let's leave and report this." Replied the first man, totally ignoring Professor Membrane. Then, taking out another container, similar to the last one, he sprayed the Professor in the face before turning to him to speak once again.

Professor Membrane felt as if his brain was coming out of a fog, but he remembered nothing as he became fully cognitive again.

"Then there is nothing else you can tell us," said the first man to Professor Membrane. Then Professor Membrane remembered their previous questions about his son.

"SECURITY! O-V-D44, GET THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE!" He yelled, and the dolls in Gaz's room sprang to life once again, dashing downstairs and grabbing the two Men in Black to throw them out and down the steps.

"Ow! Oh! Hey! Uh, good day, then! YEOW!" The second man managed to say, as the two Men in Black allowed themselves to be thrown out. The dolls came back in and shut the door, standing at attention.

Gasping for breath, Professor Membrane paused for a minute and thought. "O-V-D45, establish a perimeter to keep others from invading the property, while I attend to the mainframe security." The dolls' eyes glowed, but then flew off to their established places, or wherever they went whenever they established a perimeter.

'The O-V-D44 and O-V-D45 should not have worked unless I've already used the O-V-D43, and I distinctly remember calling out for the O-V-D42 not even before they asked me that last question! Hhmm...unless...there's a slight tingling in my nose, so I must go examine myself for any foreign particles. I think I remember them trying that on _her_ in College...' The Professor immediately ran downstairs to examine his body for traces of an inhalant that could alter brain-function, causing a hypnotic effect. He seemed to have lost a few seconds of time. That entire encounter could not have taken even two minutes, and yet here it was two and a half minutes later!

Where was that extra thirty seconds? The Professor worried intensely about what kind of information they could have obtained from him as he ran the body and brain scans, mystified as to what they could want.

About ten minutes later, Dib came out of his room, wondering what all that commotion was earlier. He usually would've assumed it was Gaz, but he felt like it had something to do with his dad. Whatever it was, the ship had insisted that he NOT go downstairs until its scans indicated the coast was clear. Considering that the Men in Black were probably going to be looking for him, he decided to do as he was told.

"Hey, Dad...? DAAAD?" Called Dib as he went downstairs. "What was all that commotion about?"

Coming to the kitchen, he heard his dad's voice from down in his lab, sounding strangely unnerved. "Hello, Son! Come on down! I want to ask you something!"

Leaning over the stairs to the Lab, Dib asked, "What for?" before finally venturing downstairs to see what it was that he wanted.

Downstairs, he found his dad hooked up to all sorts of machines, trying to get readings on miniscule particles stuck to the lining of his lungs and in his blood-stream. Looking as perplexed as he was, Dib said, "Um, Dad?"

"Oh! There you are, Son! Quickly, I want you to monitor these two screens for me while I watch these ones. We're looking for anything out of the ordinary." The Professor pointed to two screens to his left and slightly behind him, that he was having particular trouble viewing at the same time as the other five on his right and in front of him.

Dib looked confused, but did as he said. "There's nothing but traces of-" He gasped and trailed off. The "Theater Incident" had caused Tak to do a scan on both of them to determine the exact effects of the gas. It left traces in Dib's lungs of the exact molecules he was viewing on this monitor. But he couldn't exactly tell his Dad this.

"Traces of _what_, Son?! _Any_thing could be important!" Said his father, nervously.

Sighing, Dib tried to think of how to say it to make himself sound normal. "N-nothing, it's just, a molecule with four oxygen atoms, and a couple of what look like nitrogen...there's also something unidentifiable... It's a complex molecule, it seems. Why?"

"I KNEW IT!" Exclaimed his father excitedly. Then, handing his son a remote control, he said, "Now, press the oxygenation button, and we'll see how much of this has been absorbed into my brain! With that much extra oxygen, it should be pretty easy -ooh! Hook it up to the lung monitor and we'll be able to search for that exact molecule sequence!" Then, grabbing hold of the remote control again, he pulled himself away from some of the attached wires that held him as he linked the remote and the lung scanner.

"Dad, what's going on?!" Asked Dib, now a little worried for his father's health. Or at least his state of mind.

"*Sighing* I'm sorry, Son, but it appears that I've been...*Shudder* _compromised_...!" His dad admitted shamefully.

Dib raised an eyebrow and simply said, "What?!"

"A little while ago, we had some 'visitors'," continued his dad. "They were government agents, from a particular branch of the government which specifically likes to take and hide any and all state-of-the-art technological and scientific advancements, claiming to use them 'for the good and betterment of our nation' or something like that. Whatever they say, they're _LIARS!_ _They_ don't want to _help _anybody! _They're_ just out to take all the science and technology for THEMSELVES!" His father gesticulated wildly. Blinking and staring at this particular statement, Dib slowly began to understand.

"Ooohhh... You mean, the Men in Black were here!?" He exclaimed, looking around wildly. "What'd they do to you!? What'd they take!? Why were they here?!" He asked as he examined everything within sight for abnormalities.

"No, no _no_!" Exclaimed his father. "THAT'S the question _I_ ought to be asking!" He waved his finger in front of Dib.

"Uh...wha?" Dib blinked, confused.

"When they came here, they were _specifically_ asking me questions about _you_!" He informed him gravely.

"Erm...! Y-yes...?" Said Dib, feeling himself start to sweat.

"The only two questions I can remember them asking, were, 'Have you noticed anything peculiar about your son lately?' and 'Does he have any new acquaintances?' Although I remembered calling your sister's security dolls to haul them out because they're not connected with the home security's mainframe, I still have exactly 24 seconds that are unaccounted for! And so, I must ask myself, 'If my son got into some trouble with these government agents, exactly what is it, and what can I do to help him'?" His dad had a hand to his chin as he said this.

"And then," his father continued, "When you seemed particularly shocked at seeing that molecule on the scans of my lungs, I had to presume that you'd had some kind of knowledge of it -although I don't know what kind." Then, sighing, he leaned down and put a hand on Dib's shoulder. "Son, if there's _any_thing that you need help with, rest assured that I _will not_ hand you over to those...government clone-freaks!" He shook his fist expressively.

'Oh, _great!_ Where's TAK when I need her!?' Thought Dib to himself as he tried to think up a good excuse to tell his father. 'Just when I _really _need her help! She takes off the _stupid necklace!_ *Sigh* I guess there's no choice but to try and find a good story to tell him...' But just as he thought that, a new thought entered his mind, entirely different from the other one, and strangely, refreshingly, new, 'Why _do_ I have to lie? Why not just tell him the _truth_?' Looking to the side, Dib considered this. Suddenly, a new plan was forming in his head. 'It's not a _lie_, so I don't have to worry about it...'

"I-!" Started Dib, looking up at his father, hoping he wasn't sweating too much from nervousness. "It was the other night, at the show in Rouletebille Square! I, uh, had snuck backstage to try and talk with the Madame Porkfundh, you know, to try and see whether she was fake or not; which, I admit, was a bad thing to do! But, you see, uh, afterwards, there were these two guys, they were dressed in black suits and looking strangely familiar. They even seemed to talk in monotone!"

Professor Membrane was paying full attention now, nodding at this description. Dib continued, "They snuck into Madame Porkfundh's room when she went to get coffee, and as I recognized them as the Men in Black, I decided to follow her to question her. I, uh, also got roped into helping the stage-hands, uh, that was my cover -for getting backstage, yeah. Then, there was this strange smoke that started filling up backstage! I tried to cover my mouth, but it was too strong! I hid underneath a table, where I managed to crawl through some stuff and into a closet, even though my head felt all woozy and it was hard to concentrate."

"A-HAH! Then the smoke was the _same_ as the stuff they used on me!" Exclaimed his father excitedly. "Excellent! Then that's why you recognized the molecular structure! You must've scanned yourself afterwards, just like me! That's my boy! This makes more sense, now that you've explained it to me," then he pulled out a scanner to try scanning Dib's lungs. "Oh, and please continue, this won't take a minute, now that we know what we're looking for!"

Letting his father hook him up to the machine, Dib continued, "Anyways, as I was crawling under there, I found a bomb!" His father glanced up in surprise, but continued with what he was doing. "Then, just as they were, uh, bothering the other people, trying to get them to do something, I re-wired the bomb and threw it at the wall to blow a hole in it! I knew it had enough C-4 in it do do at least _that_! And, uh, then I escaped! I didn't want to tell anyone, in case the Men in Black got to you, first!"

Leaning back, satisfied with his own explanation, Dib smiled as his dad congratulated him. "I KNEW there was something to be gained from this!" Exclaimed his dad as he examined the readings. "It seems that your immune system was able to stave it off long enough not to be susceptible to its 'hypnotic' effects!"

'_That, _and having that psychic link with Tak didn't hurt,' the refreshing string of thought popped back up in Dib's mind. Tak had already determined these things in her own scans of his body, so none of this was news to him. But, for his father's sake, he simply said, "Oh, uh, cool."

"In any case, I'd like to develop an antidote to this particular string of molecules as soon as possible -oh, and Son?" His father asked, looking right at him.

"Uhm...yeah?" Asked Dib, wondering if he suspected something.

"If any of your friends were with you during that, that, 'theater incident', then they're in particular danger as well! And they might not have the immunity to stave off the hypnotic effects of this! I want you to keep an eye out for them, perhaps even avoiding them if you have to! These T.S.s can be dangerous~!" The Professor held up his finger for effect.

"Oh, don't worry," said Dib as he unhooked himself from the machine, "I was alone that whole time." He was glad he wasn't looking his father in the eyes. He felt like he'd gotten marginally better at lying, but his dad's genuine worry made him feel guilty for doing it. 'I'm doing this for Tak's sake, uh, 'cause she murder me if I didn't. It's not like she was affected by the smoke in the first place! And besides, they don't even know where her new base is...' He thought, quickly justifying himself.

"Hhhmmm..." His father thought as he rubbed his chin through the fabric of his coat. "Then I wonder who they were talking about...?"

"I, uh, dunno! Maybe they were just fishing for clues...? In any case, I'll tell you if I have any information!" Then, turning to go up the stairs, he stopped suddenly and asked, "What do you mean, 'T.S.s'?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you knew," replied Professor Membrane, somewhat sheepishly, "In the scientific community, they're typically referred to as 'Tech Stealers'. That's why those scientists of MY CALIBER tend to avoid them at ALL COSTS! Because they stand for all that is WRONG about the world's view of science and technology! Those government white-bread clone-freaks think that technology is only to be used to advance the nation's interests! _Not _for the betterment of Mankind, but for their _own _SELFISH PURSUITS! Like war, panty-lines, and other things."

"Oh, okay." Said Dib. Then he added, "You know, technically, there's no evidence to support the theory that they're clones."

"Well, there are certain _similarities_ which I find disturbing..." The Professor then put his chin in his hand and mumbled, "Among other things..."

Dib just raised his eyebrows at this, but said nothing.

Heading back upstairs, he was surprised to see his sister was back, and eating a sandwich at the kitchen table. "Hey, Gaz. What are you doing here? I thought there was that Gaming Tournament thing?"

"The Tournament got cancelled due to _ME,_ beating up government agents. There's another one next week, though. Korrie's mom's making hot-cakes!" Replied Gaz, simply, before munching on her sandwich again.

Flinching uncontrollably, Dib wondered slightly if there was any force in the world that could possibly take down his little sister. And then he realized that answering that question might involve learning several things about the planet and the function of the universe, particularly that of death, that he didn't wish to learn. And so he left it at that.

The next night, though, they were in for a real surprise~!

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Dib had finally gotten in touch with Tak that morning. It seems she'd taken the necklace off during the night so she didn't have to try and block out his dream-transmitting. Huh. But after being informed of the night's events, she was beginning to suspect that having it off at all was a bad idea.

'I _know_ that I said only to communicate psychically, but I _really _can't stand listening to your _dreams _every night!' Replied Tak to Dib's complaints that morning.

'Look, I _know_ it's a little hard, but if you put your mind to it-' He suddenly got a psychic shriek and decided that wasn't the right choice of words.

'It'd be A LOT EASIER if I had SOMEONE TO TEACH ME!' She shrieked into his brain once again. He instantly wished that she'd take off the necklace for a minute so he didn't have to listen to her mental screams. He didn't get his wish.

'I _told_ you it was a lot harder than it LOOKS!' Exclaimed Dib mentally, equally loud. 'Look, I've been doing this kind of thing for _years_! It could take anywhere from days to months before any good leads come up!'

Sighing in exasperation, Tak resigned herself to conspiring mental doom on Dib. Then, her SIR-Unit indicated something on the screen. Looking up, she got an idea. 'Dib, how exactly did you track this necklace down?'

'Track it down? Well, let's see...geeze, that was over four years ago -that's it!' Looking through his computer files, he finally found the thing he was looking for. 'It appears that...I... was looking through newspapers and came across a recent event -that is, recent back then- that had something off about it. I investigated, and eventually I found the necklace which was the source of the conspiracy in that household. There was this whole, "Mystery type-thing" around the family because of it. I, uh...snuck it out and left.'

'You mean, you _stole_ it...?' Smirked Tak as she listened to his story with amusement.

'Hey, there were people getting _killed_ because of it! And besides, one of the girls, -the older sister, I think?- asked me to help keep their family safe.'

'And where was this place?'

'I believe it was in Warls... Uhm...yes, I didn't include the family name, but I wrote the street address. They asked me not to reveal the family "secret" to anyone. I believe I remember it, though. Fhalanges? I think?' Thought Dib, scrunching his face up as he read the address. _(A/N: "Warls" is the IZ version of Wales that I made up. Not canon, but I needed something slightly different, since it's not exactly OUR Earth, is it...?)_

'The Fhalanges? I see,' thought Tak, 'Then they would possibly know how to use this...!'

'The-USE IT!? What!? Heck, NO! Listen, Tak, I know how you want to learn to control that thing, but that's not the case with these people!'

Blinking up at his explosive reaction, Tak asked, 'Okay, then. _You_ explain it to me.'

Sighing, Dib started from the beginning. 'The Fhalanges were a wealthy Eenglish family. They lived in a fancy mansion in Warls, much to the chagrin of their neighbors. The Warls are, er, slightly annoyed at the Eenglish, for several reasons. History stuff, I know. I'm getting to the point!' Dib said this purely from habit.

'Anyways, their great-grandmother had gotten it as a gift, and although she had died rather young, it stayed in the family's possession. The necklace was then passed down through marriage to the wife of each male successor, blah blah blah. Then, with this next successor, there were some problems.' _(A/N: It's pretty easy to see that "Eenglish" is English. Just sayin'!)_

'Problems?'

'Yes, you see, because the family's eldest child was a girl, _she_ insisted on getting the necklace instead of her brother, who was two years younger than she was. This meant that _when_ and _if_ she married, it would be passed to her _husband's_ family, and not stay within the Fhalange family. The old people quarreled over this, and somehow or another, her younger brother was killed. Then the paternal uncle died, and everything was crazy with the cops and other stuff.' Dib paused to make sure Tak was still listening. She sometimes ignored him if he went on too long.

'I'm listening,' replied Tak as he waited.

'This is where _I _came in,' continued Dib, 'I pretended to be a "lost tourist", and then met the house's two youngest siblings, -from their father's second marriage- the young sisters Ama and Armon. Ama, the oldest, made me promise and swear on stacks of _antique books_ that I would help stop the family deaths, and so, after finding out why people were dying, I simply took the necklace and left. So, as you can see, there wasn't anyone who could actually _use_ it, they were all just competing for keeping it in the Fhalange family's possession!' Finished Dib proudly.

"Tch!" Tak clicked her tongue in annoyance. There _still _wasn't anything useful here! 'And what about that great-grandmother? Didn't _she_ know how to use it?' Tak was hoping she'd left behind some kind of journal that they could use to learn something.

'No, not really. I mean, not according to what I heard. They said that she didn't like to wear it much, and since she died young, people hardly wanted to _touch_ it, for fear that they'd suffer the same fate. They usually just presented it to their fiance` at their engagement, and then kept it in the jewelry safe.' Dib replied, grimacing because he knew Tak was annoyed with no new information.

'"The same fate?" What exactly did she die of?' Asked Tak, intrigued.

'Apparently, she was strangled to death in her sleep.' Now they both grimaced. 'The necklace was on her bed-side table, though, so it couldn't have had anything to do with it!' Added Dib hastily.

'Dib,' thought Tak suddenly, '_Why_ did you think that this necklace was going to _help_ me?!'

Blinking, Dib thought back, 'What? Why, what do you mean?!'

'Dib, EVERY person who owned this necklace has either _DIED_ in suspicious circumstance, or is just _dying_ to get rid of it! And now, even your beloved _Swollen Eyeballs_ and the government's _Men in Black_ want it! So, what _I_ want to know is, _WHY'D YOU WANT TO GIVE IT TO ME!?'_

Dib thought a minute. There really was no other explanation than, 'It seemed like a good idea, at the time...!'

'Ulgh!' Was all Tak could think as she face-palmed and held her head for the sheer pain of headache it was engaged in. There was just _too much_ stupidity here for her to deal with. Tak then raised her head and simply said, 'I'm going to need some time to think. Please excuse me for the next two to four hours.'

'Uhm...okay,' replied Dib, worried about her amazingly calm response. She seemed to have been horribly upset with him, and yet now she simply wanted some time to think. Huh. Well, he didn't have anything else to do; he might as well get ready for school and eat breakfast.

Downstairs, he found his sister was already up and eating. "Hey, Dib," it was unusual for her to address _him_ first, "There's some mail here, for you." She gestured to the envelope lying on the table.

"Oh, okay," said Dib, mildly curious, but currently concerned with other things. Like, why was Tak so calm? And, if she _really_ wanted to kill him, she would've done it already, right? Or, what if the Men in Black would be targeting the Swollen Eyeballs, next? They had protection, right? But, what if?

These questions so absorbed him, that by the time he was done eating and headed out the door -with his lap-top- he'd forgotten the envelope.

"Hey! What about your mail?! It says it's IMPORTANT! DIIIB!" Shouted Gaz, but he was already too far away to hear her. Grumbling, Gaz thought of what horrible, doomy things she could do to him, when she heard a faint panting next to her.

As he reached the Skool, Dib was shocked to see Gaz was waiting on the steps for him. "Gaz?" He said, confused, "What are you doing-" he stopped when he got a mouthful of his mail.

"You LEFT THIS at the house," she explained. Then, turning away, she grumbled, "Now that stupid werewolf will quit following me."

Blinking in perplexity, Dib wondered how many werewolves they knew, and how many would be out at this time of day, whether or not the moon was full and easy to view in the sky. "PhFewie?!" He asked with his mouth full.

Spitting out the envelope into his hands, he eyed it with some perplexity. Why exactly was a werewolf making sure he gets his mail?! He looked around swiftly, but couldn't see anybody out of place. Then, running inside, he didn't bother worrying about Ms. Bitters' punishments for being late as he ran into the boys' restroom to hide in a stall and read his "SUPER-IMPORTANT" letter.

Those words were written directly on the top of the letter in bright, shining gold letters. 'It must be Beroniga's writing,' thought Dib at the sight, before tearing it open and reading its contents. There was no return address on the front, but inside there was.

1818 Terror Blvd., "Darg House" bldg.

Ms. Pertina Patrina

70777

Dear Little Dib,

(Dib flinched at reading this; it was something only family members would call him.)

I've heard of your painful experience trying to find certain "Psychic Instructor" for you and your friend. Not to be immodest, but if I may offer my services as a Psychic to help you and your friend who is a girl, I would be most honored!

(Dib groaned and put a hand to his head as he read that. _Just great._ They must think he has a "cute little girl-friend" now.)

You already know where my place of business is, I wrote it at the top, though, just in case you forgot! Peace, Love, and Ciao Ciao! *Hearts were written visibly here*

Patrina

Pertina

The end of this letter, including her signature hearts and way-too-lovey-dovey-wuvey-ness, was too recognizable. This was _definitely_ from his Aunt (although how and why she is related was still a confusion to them) Patrina Pertina, the psychic. Although "Psychic" was a term to use loosely here.

They, Dib and Gaz, had visited the amusement park with their dad one year. She happened to have a job as a Psychic there, and everybody else had been so excited about how "accurate" her predictions were. Instead, however, she had pulled out a pack of cards -no, literally, PLAYING CARDS!- and gave him some prediction that basically amounted to her just giving him good advice.

He was angry and disappointed, so he left and didn't even wait for his sister. His dad got mad about that. But Pertina Patrina -she transposed the two names for her act- was at least reliable, and brought Gaz back. Though _he_ was upset with her, Gaz said she was alright. It figures. Gaz didn't know what _real _psychics were all about!

Sighing and putting the letter back in the envelope, Dib shoved it into his pocket and jumped off the toilet he was standing on. Opening the stall door, he heard Tak in his mind asking, 'What was _that_ about?'

'*Sigh* Oh, nothing. Just some fake psychic relative trying to give me some help to find a "Psychic Instructor"...' Then, after considering what his sister had said earlier, 'And, possibly my cousin, Chewie.'

Blinking and twisting her face in confusion at the odd references floating over the psychic link to werewolves and a cousin named "Chewie", Tak asked, 'What?'

'It's just -*sigh*- nevermind, it's a long story, and besides, they're on the other side of the family, and they live in Targe`t...' Then, looking down at the envelope in his hand, he thought, 'That reminds me, I should give 'im a call and see what's up,' before shoving it into his pocket. _(A/N: "Targe`t" is the IZ version of France. Since I wanted something slightly different. See Author's Notes at the end for more fun information!)_

'Okay, _that's_ not suspicious at _all_...' commented Tak at his apparent unwillingness to tell her anything. Usually he'd be blabbling non-stop.

'It's _not that_!' Dib thought back as he made his way to class. 'It's just that -Ulgh! Okay, it's like this -on my mom's side of the family, they're kind-of, um,' he thought a minute to find the right words, 'Odd...'

'Like, how "odd"?' Asked Tak, now more interested.

'Like, "Addams Family" odd,' replied Dib. 'Only the reason why we don't see or talk to them often, is that the majority of them live thousands of miles away!'

Tak nodded in comprehension. Traveling for humans was considerably harder. 'Yes, _and_?'

'*Sigh* And, my dad got mad at me for trying to expose them for being werewolves, ghosts, etc.. It's not like there was any verifiable _proof_, but it's just strange! The _entire family_! Gggrrr! And I can't get any _definite_ proof because my dad said that "family doesn't try to expose each other"!' He was pouting as he made his way into the classroom.

Zim was wearing a "MEATLESS FOR FREE!" T-Shirt over his regular outfit for some reason. Huh. Go figure. But Dib was more bothered by the conversation in his mind, and Ms. Bitters glaring at him for being all of two seconds late.

"Dib!" She growled. "The bell has already rung! What's your _difficulty_ with getting to class ON TIME!?"

'I'm -' Dib suddenly remembered he had to talk. "I'm sorry, I had some, er, trouble with my mail..." he managed quickly, before she glared at him to sit down.

'Already I'm starting to see why tracking down a psychic is so hard for you,' Thought Tak after he was done being yelled at. 'Your relatives are probably hiding all of them!'

'Ulough! It's _not _like I can possibly be related to _every one _of them!' He thought, looking out the window.

'Even still, it's rather suspect. Perhaps you should reconsider that offer you got.'

'*Sneer* No, _THANKS_! The only time I'd do that, is if it was some kind of _family reunion_ and I was _forced_ into it!' He looked down and his desk, then pulled out his books.

'Hhhm...' Was all Tak thought as she let him bother with his school work. She had half a mind to check out this "Ms. Pertina Patrina" herself...

0

* * *

0

At the end of the third recess was when Dib noticed something. Something about Zim and the way he was acting. Well, despite the fact that he'd been claiming to be a "fan" of this new "Vegan Rock-band" called "Meatless". Apparently he was using it as a cover-up for why he disliked meat so much.

After being so absorbed in other things, seeing Zim's antics was refreshingly hilarious. He even smiled when he saw Zim trying to hum their cover-song, without even knowing the tune!

Later, Dib found out (hearing Zim speak into his communicator) that he'd stolen the "MEATLESS FOR FREE!" T-Shirt they handed out to their fans at that particular concert, off of some kid's back outside the show. It just figures.

"With this, GIR, I can present myself as a normal, filthy human worm-child with a healthy obsession with a vegan rock-band!" Dib was just rolling his eyes as he heard this. He almost wanted to laugh.

Zim, however, didn't hear him behind the bench in the bushes, and continued, "Have you finished the calibrations for the Pepper-Firer?!" He was half-shouting, as always. Didn't he _ever _do _any_thing quietly?! Like _dying_...?!

Crouching in the bushes, Dib heard Tak's voice in his head say, 'If I was watching this on television, it'd be humorous. But, unfortunately, I'm having to deal with him in _reality_, myself.'

'Ulgh! well, not ONLY yourself; mine, included!' Replied Dib as he thought about how tasteless a show would have to be to have _ZIM_ in it. There was a slight "tinging" as the fourth wall was hit twice. These characters heard it not. But, _you_ can hear it! Can't you heeaaar the sooouuunnndd of i-*Gets stopped suddenly* Er, I mean... On with the narrative~!

Meanwhile, despite our little interlude in the bushes, Zim was continuing, "...There wasn't enough Paste to cover the entire thing; still, it should be sufficient for-" suddenly a ball came flying by and hit him in the head. Both Dib and Tak laughed at this comedic element. Zim jumped up and yelled.

"HEEY! YOU MISERABLE LITTLE MEAT-MONKEYS! STOP WITH YOUR FILTHY FROLICING AND OBEY THE ZIIIIIMMM!" He shook his arms at them, but they didn't care: they just got Torque Smacky to shove him to the ground to take back the ball. "OOOHHH! YOU CHILDREN WILL RUUUUEEE THE DAYYY! RUUUEEE THEEE DAAAAYYYY!" Zim continued shouting as Torque left.

Dib was still laughing in the bushes, but Zim wasn't paying any attention to him. "Master! MASTER! YOU GOT THE PAIIIEEEENS!?" Zim's communicator was still on, so GIR's extra-loud voice was heard as he shouted to get Zim's attention.

"*Sigh* NO, GIR! Now, be quiet! I want you to-" GIR's screams of excitement could be heard over the communicator, "SILENCE, GIR! Now, if you'll get the Ice-cream Generator, then I can get the-" the bell signalling the end of recess rang, "-the Pepper-Firer, to help take over this FILTHY PLANET! Okay?" GIR's babbling response was incoherent, but then something louder was heard.

"I'MAH MAKIN' MAH FILTHIES FRITTERS!" Was heard. Both Dib and Zim looked equally disgusted at the thought of whatever in the _world_ "Filthies Fritters" could be.

"Eeww...No, GIR! No more of those AWFUL, _AWFUL_ mud-filled pies!" Replied Zim, looking remarkably queasy.

"*More incoherent screaming* But they weren't MADE with _MuuuD_~!" Came GIR's horrifying reply. Dib felt somewhat queasy as he considered the implications of this.

In response, Zim shouted, "SHUT-UP! And make sure that you have the Ice-cream Generator up-and-running by the time I get home! _Un-der-sta-and_?!" He said this last word slowly, hoping that GIR would be useful for one of the few times in its life. He didn't get any more loud responses, just garbling nonsense -considering, this was GIR, it woudn't be much different if it was loud enough to overhear. Zim then "hung up" and walked back with the other children to class.

Dib followed, hoping both he and Tak wouldn't have any encounters with those "Filthies Fritters", hand-held pies. It didn't _work_, but, well...you know...

0

* * *

0

Moving through dimensions was tricky. Any moment, some small piece of floating matter or anti-matter could render you lifeless. And, although he'd come into contact with one before, with only his arm rendered pained and useless, it didn't mean that they were _all _that benign. (His arm got better, though.)

Coming into another seperate plane, he placed himself in his "stepping over" position. Pressing his hands against the side of the "wall", he gently pushed forward. No more; he needed to recognize this area's particular composition before moving on. In coming back, he observed both the way the left over particles on his hands reacted, and also the way the few feathers he'd stuck, attached to the hood next to his PAK, reacted. They all seemed rather energized. Meaning that this was a dimension which was particularly difficult to either access or return from. After making the necessary few adjustments, which included a weird, rare moment of "dusting" himself with his hands, he plunged right in.

The next place he landed in was strange, almost wholly in and of a place of its own. For a dimension, it was almost like a universe. Strange. It had a very small amount of gravity, which floated him -he almost worried about this- towards the clear, almost glass-like version of the ground. There were chairs, tables, and other objects scattered around this place, but other than that, it looked quite black. The light-source was bright white, and seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere, yet shone at a definite angle; perhaps there was more than one. But when he looked, it wasn't anywhere; just blackness with odd, faded, colored points in the distance.

Turning towards what looked for all the world like a food-stall, he stepped and floated towards it. Already sitting up there on a stool at the stall was something -or, rather, someone- with pink-purple stuff extending downwards from its head. Sitting up at the counter was really hard in such a light-gravity environment, but he found himself fully able to achieve this if he lightly pushed up with his foot, guided his body with the counter, and then allowed himself to fall on top of the stool. The other person, as he could see it now, was still staring ahead, their face glaring into the food-cookers inside the stall.

The person attending to it he could now see, since they blended in with the background, and he noticed that it was a species of alien that he was altogether unfamiliar with. Huhn. Looking back at the other person, he noticed that it looked very similar to the Huffer-haut species. So, having spent some time among them, he used some of the little he'd learned of their current language as a greeting.

"Lowbat lufer-bat."

The person stopped in their musings and turned to look at him in confusion. Noticing their look, he repeated again what he'd just said. The person shook their head and said something in a language he couldn't understand...although it did sound _slightly_ familiar...somewhat...

"I'm sorry, I must've made a mistake," he replied in his native tongue. Notably, his native tongue was a few millenia off, compared to what his own people spoke, now. But, he had no time for that sort of bothering, since it was clear that this person spoke neither Huffer-haut nor ancient Irken.

The person still shook their head and responded in that same language, but turned back to their drink.

"It's okay, I've seen plenty of people from your area of the universe make that same mistake," replied the alien working the food-stall.

Looking up at the alien in surprise, he turned in even more shock when he heard someone else behind him mention, "Don't worry about that. Ignius knows all sorts of languages. Don't know how or _why_. He makes it sort-of his hobby." This little person who'd spoken was walking by, and also looked suspiciously like a Huffer-haut, but not quite. He was very short, though, even by Irken standards. Notably, the one observing him was quite tall for the average Irken.

"I'm Ignius, and I'll be your chef and server this morning. So, what would you like?" Asked the alien behind the counter, "smiling", just as he was wondering whether or not that little person had something like an intergalactic translator on him. 'Cause that would be neat! And also, he needed one.

Turning back to him, and still a little confused, he said, "I'm Topi, and I would _like_ an intergalactic translator...but, in leu of that, make mine a Jashmeen Pokey. If you can," he added mildly, recognizing that only a few people in the universe still knew what kind of drink that was, _let alone_ how to make a _good _one.

Raising his supposed "eyebrows" in response to this, Ignius took it as a challenge and said, "One Jashmeen Pokey, comin' right up!" Topi's eyes lit up as he smiled. It had been a long time since he'd had one of his favorite drinks.

The person to his right said something, and he quickly percieved that they'd "ordered" something else. Turning to look at them, Topi couldn't quite place it, but there was the _vague_ impression that this person was female. Also, they seemed somewhat scary. But that was besides the point.

Looking back at the alien "Ignius", Topi was genuinely surprised to see that he was done so quickly. Usually, it took a while to find and combine all of the elements... Of course, that was thousands of years ago, back on his home planet. "Your Jashmeen Pokey, courtesy of the chef!" He blinked.

Taking the drink, Topi curiously asked, "Say, what do you happen to call this place? I've never seen some of these species before...are they specifically endemic to this dimension...?" He usually didn't ask that last question, out of courtesy, but he really couldn't help himself. An entire dimension with gravity and a food-court didn't just _happen_!

"I'm a Narflacks, resident of the planet Pingon in the Friitos galaxy, and this young woman right here is from the planet Earth in the Milky Way galaxy -she speaks English, by the way. And I usually don't talk unless someone's ordering, by the way. The first order's free. And I like to keep up on my skills. Always keep 'em comin' to the Ramin's! That's what I say!" He winked as he said this, which was pretty easy to see apart from his horns, what with his big, shining black eyes.

Topi stepped back and took a glance up at the overhang to see what the name of the place was. It must have indeed said "The Ramin's", as he couldn't read it in the alien language. Finally managing to get back onto his stool, Ignius continued, "And THIS little place," he gestured widely with his arms, "Is THE LOST N' FOUNDS!" Then, winking again, "Everything here's lost; n' if it's not, well, it's found!"

The "woman", as Topi now figured the alien sitting beside him was, was mouthing to Ignius' speech. She must've heard this thousands of times, despite the alien language.

Topi then turned to his own drink and considered this information. If it was indeed a "Lost and Found", then it must be a strange little pocket of space which existed inside of a seperate dimension, meaning that everyone here was flung into this pocket by some kind of paranormal event. Similar to his circumstance. 'That woman must be absolutely bored,' he thought. Then, taking a swig of his drink, he gasped.

It was _delicious_~!

0

* * *

0

After school, Tak bugged Dib again as he followed Zim. 'You're still not willing to consider that "Aunt Pertina Patrina" of yours' proposal?' This caused him to trip over something in the hedge he was hiding behind.

"Look, I'm-" Almost hitting himself for talking out loud once again, Dib thought, 'Er! I mean, I'm not interested! She's _far_ too "huggy-wuggy", anyways... You wouldn't like her.' The memory of his first and only meeting with her came into his mind. She was leaning down over he and his sister, pinching his cheek and saying, "Oooh! What a cuuutie-woootie kiddie you are~!"

Tak, who'd been paying close attention to his thoughts, laughed out loud. '_THAT'S_ why you don't want to visit her!'

Dib dusted his knees off and happened to look to his left hand, which held the "ring". The word "ring" being used loosely, since it was fused to his hand and wouldn't come off. _EVER_. He briefly wondered about her reasoning. Even if she didn't master the necklace, she'd still have it to use; she could peek in on his thoughts any time she liked. Then, what happened if someone _else_ got the necklace? And why did he have the sneaking feeling like it was burning? 'Tak, I think there's something with this ring,' Dib thought at last, forgetting for the moment about Zim and his insanely funny plans.

'What?' Asked Tak, surprised. She hadn't expected this.

'Yeah, I know. It feels like it's burning! Why is that?' Tak blinked, but stayed silent for a moment.

'Bring it here.' She said simply.

'Wait, "here"? "Here" WHERE?!' Thought Dib, 'You haven't even shown me where your new base is!' Then, he thought, 'Why didn't I think that was strange? Geeze, I've been too busy with all this "Necklace" stuff to even _consider_ these kinds o-'

Tak interrupted, 'Just follow my directions!' Dib glared, but sighed and followed her explicit directions.

It led him to an abandoned construction site. The skyscraper on the same property had wanted an extension attached to it; but halfway through, the company went bankrupt, and both the project and skyscraper were abandoned.

Tak had now "acquired" it with the help of some dummy-companies that she'd set up since her last plan backfired. She wasn't going to steal funds from the Deelishus Weenie Corporation forever -she could hack the Stock Market to do that- but she needed some extra "oomph" to get her latest plan up and running. The dummy-companies were then sold, and her new company was supposedly under the control of the Mac Meaties corporation. Apparently Fast Food sells. As she'd so quaintly put it.

Back through the construction, there was a little door that led into the old skyscraper building, although it was normally locked. Tak pressed a button on her control-panel, and then it wasn't, anymore. She explained the path to take clearly to him, all the way to the elevator. Where she said, 'Don't push any buttons,' before the floor of the lift cut away in a circle around him, and he descended into the depths, far below any basements or sub-basements that a sky-scraper could have.

When it finally stopped, he was in a very large place. The typical Irken construction included, along with several extra things which looked like a laboratory. 'W-Wow!' Was all Dib thought as he looked around.

"Welcome to my parlor," said Tak, "Said the Spider to-"

"-to the Fly, hah hah hah, are we _still _going to have jokes about that?" Dib replied, saying the last part of the common quote with her.

"Well, I _did_ think it was particularly ingenious for _your _head," replied Tak, smirking.

"Oh, come on! That was just once! I don't think we have to make constant SPIDER-jokes because of _one_ little arachnid reference!" Replied Dib, waving his arms.

"You're right; we should use mites!" Replied Tak, enjoying the chance to mess with his head. Well, more than _usual._ "We should scan the ring and finger to see what's going on," she pointed to a part of the "lab" that had what looked like a screen and a chair of some sort.

"It was a _cover-up_," pouted Dib, folding his arms, but walking over to it anyways.

"Sit down," stated Tak, pushing a few buttons. "And put your hand out."

Putting out his left hand, Dib was intrigued when a laser came out of the wall and scanned it. "Hey, are you _sure_ you're not worried, having _me_, a paranormal investigator, in here?" He asked, eyeing her. "I mean, you know, I could... Take pictures and show everybody!"

"Hah! I can read _every_ single one of your thoughts! You don't have to be worried about me being worried about it!" She replied with a laugh, looking at the screen's read-out.

"Well, not if this tranceiver-thing's malfunctioning," replied Dib, looking back at the ring.

"Oh, don't worry about that," replied Tak, "It just says here that it was starting to rust from extra exposure to water. Hhhmmm...I'll have to adjust for that...!"

"Oh. Then...you don't mind if I look around...?!" He asked excitedly. Tak looked at him.

"Eugh...! Let's just get this over with, first," she replied, zapping his hand with a laser of something.

"AAAUUGGH!" He exclaimed, but soon relaxed, breathing heavily. "Wh-just what _WAS_ that!?"

"A laser, Dib," replied Tak with a slight smirk, just to annoy him. "It was a nanite-programming laser. It's used to re-program things, like nanites, especially like the medical-grade nanites that I used in order to make the alien metals fuse with your body. But, I had forgotten how much _water_ is used on this planet; I just programmed them to compensate for it."

"Oh, ohkay..." said Dib, looking slightly woozy, "Then why do I feel like I want to throw up...?!" He asked before bending over in the chair, clutching his stomach.

Jumping back in disgust, Tak had just enough time to get a trash-bin towards him before he threw up. Running the medical scanner again, she determined the cause was just his body's immune-system fighting the nanites. They _were_ nasty little things. But that was besides the point. After re-programming them again, she finally managed to fix it. "Okay, Dib, how do you feel now?"

"I feel like I REALLY need to wash my mouth out...and brush my teeth...and use mouth-wash...and floss...and then swallow a whole bottle of Listerzine...but other than that, I'm fine."

Tak grinned, "Good, then it worked!"

"What'd you do, anyways?" Asked Dib, wishing he had some mouth-wash on him.

"Oh, I just programmed the nanites to use your own body-chemistry to create a clear 'shield' around the molecules of the metal. But, your body's immune-system is quite good, for a human, so I had to increase the velocity of their processes. Once they've finished their jobs, they'll become inert until they're needed again."

"Okay, _great_... One _less_ thing for me to worry about..." Mumbled Dib sarcastically. "_Why_ do I get myself _into_ these things...?!"

Smiling, Tak said, "Because you really, _really_ want to kill Zim?"

"Kill him?! No, no, YOU'RE the one who wants to kill him; I just want to CAPTURE him to EXPERIMENT ON. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah...!" Replied Tak, thoughtfully. "After all that, I keep mixing them up." She was referring to their marvelous misadventures masquerading as marauders...wait a minute, that marvelous sentence doesn't even make sense...! Anyways...

"Heh, yeah, no problem. And with his latest plan, it looks like he's going to have some sort of machine which we might be able to turn against him in order to either kill or capture him. I don't really mind if he's dead; just as long as I can get the body!" Replied Dib with a grin, rubbing his hands together.

"Uhm, yeah, about that 'body' thing..." Tak started, holding up a finger, but then stopped. Why did she want to tell him this? Wouldn't he just be more inclined to keep Zim alive?

"What?!" Asked Dib, sensing something revealing here. He was right; and Tak knew that he'd hound her now that she let it slip. D'oh! She shouldn't let her guard down like that, even if he was a fellow combatant against the forces of extreme supidity that were Zim.

"*Sigh* I really didn't want to tell you this, but I suppose you'll find out sooner or later... Irken bodies will quickly decompose once lifeless. So you'd have to act fast, and get him into some kind of stasis-chamber." She explained, relenting under this particular annoyance of his. It was her fault, after all.

"What!?" Exclaimed Dib, then he began thinking, and asked tentatively, "Why...?"

"Because, my small-minded Dib, if the body is still usable, then the PAK itself won't shut down and send its information to the Irken Archival Deadabase." She folded her arms and braced herself for the barrage of questions this would undoubtedly raise.

"What!? What's that?! And, don't you mean, 'Database'?"

"NO, 'Deadabase', the Database of Dead Irken Memories. There, all the PAK's information is sorted and archived for future reference, then uploaded into each new generation of smeets -that is, if it's useful. Useless information is deleted, of course."

"Eulgh!" Dib made a face at this.

"We're a cybernetic species; what did you expect?!" Asked Tak, a little annoyed at his naivety after all the time he'd spent supposedly "studying" Irkens. "Anyways, once the body is rendered lifeless, the PAK loses its connection with it, initiating its information transfer to the nearest Control Brain, which is transmitted from Control Brain to Control Brain until it finally arrives at its destination on Irk!" She finished this, feeling particularly proud in her simplistic explanation.

"But, why go _through_ all that?! I mean, isn't it a lot of TROUBLE, just to do all that 'transferring' and stuff?! And what if some of the data is _lost _during its transmission!? What then?"

"First of all, they're _specially encoded_ so the info can't be hacked. Who would _want_ it, anyways? Some _dead person's_ memories?! Well, besides espionage..." Tak paused as both she and Dib considered the implications of this.

Blinking and shaking her head, Tak continued, "And besides, we _couldn't_ very well have a lot of DEAD BODIES wandering around, now, COULD WE?" She finished, annoyed.

... Dib had to admit, she really had a point. "But, wait a minute, if the body's dead, then why not have the PAK transfer its data right then? Why wait so long for the entire body to decompose?"

Tak put a hand on her head, "Dib, sometimes a person 'dies' but can be resuscitated. It's to ensure that proper medical procedures have been followed before the body can officially be declared 'Dead'," He still looked a little confused. Sighing, she said, "I'm sure you've heard of a 'near-death experience'?!" This was getting far too annoying.

Dib just then had an "EUREKA!" moment. "Oooh! I get it! Dunno why I _didn't_...! Anyways, I _guess_ that makes sense...!"

They both stood there quietly, mulling over the matter in their own minds. There were crickets chirping. Nobody knew how nor why, but crickets ALWAYS seemed to chirp when things were explicitly silent.

"But, you know what...?!" Dib spoke up, finally.

"What?"

"Weren't we talking about Zim's latest plan...? I think we just _really_ got off-track...!" He blinked as he came to this realization.

Blinking, Tak replied, "You know, you're _right_! ...But, if anybody asks, it _was _your fault!" She then turned and walked away to start work on their next plan.

"Hey! Why's it always got to be _MY_ fault!?" Dib exclaimed, following her as she went to a computer console.

"Because!" She exclaimed, then realized she was shouting, and calmed down, "_You're _supposed to be 'learning about the enemy' and yet you don't even know what happens when an Irken _dies_?!"

Dib didn't really have a response to that, but he tried, "Well, excuuuusee me! Ms...miss...'I want a psychic teacher to help me, but, oh! I don't _know_! I think I'm going to have to rely on a _stupid_ little HUMAN KID to help!'" Stupider words _have_ been spoken, but not today, in this place.

After proving once and for all that the "psychic transceiver" _did_, in fact, provide Tak some control over Dib, she stopped stepping on his head long enough to look at the monitors she'd set up as surveillance around Zim.

"Heads up, stupid large one! It looks like Zim's on the move!" Exclaimed Tak, still pressing Dib's head into the ground. She let up long enough to get his response.

"Uuuhhhoohhh...! Okay...!" Moaned Dib from his place on the floor, then slowly, shakily, he managed a "thumbs up", and said, "Let's go...!"

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It was a long ways to Zim's house, but thankfully Tak had other means of transport, besides her ship. It's not that her ship couldn't be used: they just needed it to do some "reconnaissance" with Mimi. And it wasn't long before they were in position to observe Zim's latest plan as they awaited their orders. They would swoop in if anything bad happened; and it usually did.

Otherwise, things were rather uneventful. Tak's "beating" hadn't _really_ affected Dib -he was rather thick-skinned for a human- and he was back to his usual self, though slightly wiser for the moment. Meaning that he _wasn't_ trying to get on Tak's nerves. Though he felt that she deserved it, he was wondering about the ring and its apparent devious usages. It wasn't pretty.

"Okay," said Tak, breaking the silence to commence the operation -whatever that was, "I'm a little confused as to Zim's plan. I understand the machine he built to scatter pepper all over the place, but what has he 'added' to it, and why does he need the paste?"

The small vehicle she'd built was quite adequate; not quite as impressive as her own scavenged and re-built Spittle runner, but this custom-made vehicle could hover above the ground, even using wheels as part of its cover. It could fly up to about 20,000 feet, and it didn't have too much trouble recharging. It wasn't space-worthy, but enough to get around on this little planet. Besides, she was still waiting on those parts to upgrade her own ship -wouldn't that be fun~? Despite this, Dib wasn't really paying attention, as he jolted up from his thoughts.

"H-huh!? Oh, oh! I'm sorry, I was, uh, thinking," replied Dib. Then, after a quick thought, he said, "Well, since he likes lasers so much, I'm assuming he's done something like making a 'giant pepper-ray' of some sort. And...other than that, he _may_ be using the paste as either a sheild or...yeah, I can't really tell _what_ he'd be using that amount of paste for. Usually he just bathes in it."

Tak raised an eyebrow, but didn't express her inner feelings of disgust. It was an _interesting_ solution to the water problem, to say the least. Of course, there was no point to hiding this when they had that little psychic transceiver connection.

"Yeah, _tell_ me about it!" Replied Dib to this slight thought of disgust which floated over the psychic link. "Anyways, _I'm_ worried about what's going to happen to the people he turns this thing on! I mean, what does he expect it to do, anyways?! It's just pepper-corns; not exactly capsaicin!" Dib waved his arms around to make the point.

"Is it just me, or do you get the feeling that Zim's plans have become more and more bizarre each time...?" Asked Tak as she contemplated these things.

"Yeah, I was thinking that, too! I wonder why...? Heh, maybe he's jealous that we teamed up or something?" Dib replied, half-smirking.

"Although I highly doubt it, our working together _has_ seemed to put more stress on him. Perhaps he's only compensating for the difference," Tak reasoned, a hand on her chin as she thought.

"You know what?" Asked Dib suddenly.

"What?"

"For an alien race, you sure seem to have an awful lot of human habits. Like putting your hand on your chin to think." Dib had really only just noticed this.

"What does _that_ have to do with this?" Asked Tak, staring at him blankly.

"Oh, nothing. I just felt like pointing it out," he replied, shrugging.

Giving him a quick "whap!" in the head, Tak replied, "Quit it! Stop getting distracted and let's plan our infiltration!" Frowning, Dib begrudingly complied.

It's not that he didn't _want_ to: he just didn't like Tak telling him what to do all the time. It was kind-of getting annoying.

Already turned back to the screen, Tak was telling him, "Although sneaking into his base _would_ be the normal plan, he's set up his Pepper Ray somewhere else. We'll have a hard time infiltrating if we can't find any good hiding places."

"What about your invisibility?" Asked Dib.

"No good. Since that _last_ incident, he's been particularly careful of scanning for heat-signatures."

"Well, what about your hologram, then? You can make a hologram of someone he doesn't know!"

"I think he's getting wise to that; in any case, it might be good not to approach him overtly."

"Since when does Zim do anything _wise_...?" Asked Dib, thinking. "I mean, maybe we're over-thinking this thing? He isn't exactly the _sharpest_ tool in the box!" For once, he'd made a useful, psychological observation.

"Hhmmm... You may be right... Also, his ego is insanely large; we could possibly just use _that _against him...!" Tak was now thinking in terms of psychological tactics.

"And...? What do you think would work? Pretending to be defeated, and at the last second, jumping up and yelling, 'SURPRISE!'?" Dib waved his hands to demonstrate.

"I don't think _that_'ll be necessary!" Replied Tak with a slight laugh at the stupidity of it, "But, if I were to say what might work...! We should do _this_...!" She then proceeded to relay the plan to Dib.

"Ooohhhh no! Oh, no! I'm not doin' _that_!" Replied Dib emphatically.

"Don't worry; you'll be the one on the attack!" Stated Tak, allaying his fears.

"Oh, good! Because I am _SO_ not dressing up like that!" His cryptic answer was just the start of the fun...

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In the last chapter, there was a mention of a little doggy. This is what happened with that little doggy and Gaz's adventures:

After feeding the little doggy some leftover beef, Gaz took a brief look around. The kitchen seemed normal, if not for the now permeating smell of un-bathed doggy. But that was rather normal, in and of itself; this wasn't what she was looking for. Dib's mention of dimensional holes was what she was concerned about: considering their father's pet Inter-Dimensional Portal-Thingy projects, it seemed much more likely than leprechauns playing tricks on them, again.

Hey, if Dib wanted to mess around with Leprechauns, it was _his _problem; he didn't need to be bringing his problem _home_ with him!

Looking up after finishing its meal, the doggy said, "Whoof!" as if to say, "Okay, I'm done! Thanks for the food, now it's time to get going!"

"You're welcome," Gaz said in response to this, before saying, "Now: why exactly are you here...?" Whining and cowering away from her slightly scary gaze, the little dog looked to its left a couple of times as if to indicate the direction. Sighing, Gaz straightened up and stopped staring the dog down. It seemed to relax a bit, and headed in the direction of the mainfloor bathroom. Intrigued, Gaz followed it.

It led the way to their father's bedroom, even past any traps that might have been placed there to ward off those who didn't belong in the house. (He'd had problems with rabid fans trying to get into his bedroom before...) Past all of that, and into the room, it stopped and looked around a bit, before moving to the closet and poking a paw at the door. Raising an eyebrow, Gaz opened the door for the dog and it sniffed around, before finally settling on one black, gray, and red dress. Recognizing it, Gaz opened her eyes wider and said, "Wha...?"

The little dog just sniffed and "Whuffed" as if to say, "You see?! That's why I brought you here! Be amazed at me and recognize what's going on, please!" It wagged its tail a little before settling down to sit.

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Back in the present, Dib and Tak had tracked Zim to a nearby and convenient hilltop; there, next to some billboards, he was making some adjustments to his new machine. Tak's ship with Mimi inside circled in a broad arc, disguised as a Weather Reporting Helicopter. Tak and Dib, meanwhile, were heading down a nearby boulevard. Coming to a stop, Dib sighed and said, "Well, I guess we're here..." he disliked this plan even more, now.

It wasn't like it was a very _bad_ plan; it's just that these things had the worst habit of backfiring on them, as if there were some magnetic force which drew the danger towards anyone else, and _away _from Zim.

If he could find some way of counteracting that, then Dib would probably have the means of defeating him.

But, all of these misgivings aside, Tak pressed on -there really wasn't anything else to do- and said, "Alright; let's get this thing started."

0

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The community on the hilltop boulevard was slightly upscale; yet, it was several years old, meaning that it wasn't as nice as it used to be. Although the fully-grown trees and other vegetation looked nice, the main structures made of stucco to look like fancy, Spanish-styled townhouses now looked old and crumbling. It was quite a nice place -upscale, yet aged- but nothing that Dib could find was out of the ordinary.

Climbing up the hill with his grenade-launcher in hand, he briefly wondered about his weaponry. Normally grenade-launchers weren't his usual accoutrement; yet, Tak had specifically called for one in her plans, making him a little suspicious. Well, it wasn't as if Zim's plan was any less unusual! A Pepper Firer built to sprinkle the town with pepperous particles...?! Maybe if they left him alone, he'd inhale the stuff and thwart _himself_?!

Chuckling a little at that idea, but reminding himself that things in life rarely worked out like they should, Dib repositioned the uncomfortable piece of weaponry on his shoulder and continued climbing.

He was to go around the edge of the grassy, undeveloped hillside to approach Zim, and aim at the machine. Hopefully, Zim would be caught up in the explosion, and they could capture him while he was still stunned. Dib could duck behind the hill to escape exploding, whereas Tak would keep him occupied long enough for him to launch grenades at it. He still wondred about the grenade-launcher.

Out of all the highly deadly weapons Tak had, why would she request something as simple and outdated as a _HUMAN-DESIGNED_ grenade launcher?! Although he'd kept mentally prodding her about it, all she said was, 'It would take too long to explain,' and left it at that. Seriously! He could understand astrophysics -why couldn't she just _tell _him?!

After he reached the peak behind a low wall of a long-since-demolished structure, Dib thought to Tak, 'Okay, I'm in position. I still don't get the need for a grenade-launcher... But, I'm ready! Are you ready?'

Wishing that she could growl at his annoying pestering, Tak replied, 'Yes, I am. My disguise is in place -and how does he stand having this hair?!' Dib smirked at that, but tried hard to concentrate on his part of the mission. Making Tak mad right now was not the best thing~!

Walking up to Zim, wearing a wig and contacts just like he used, excepting her wig was blonde and big, and her contacts were blue, Tak smiled sacchrinely as she said, "Good afternoon! And how are WE this fine day?" She was wearing a red and white plaid dress, (very 1950s) with a white apron on and a dish of something in her hands. She was just glad she'd opted for using the hologram to disguise her skin to fake the make-up. She didn't want to _think_ how hard it'd be to cover up green skin with that!

Looking up at her with a start, -wearing his own disguise as well- Zim said, "YEEES!? And who are YOU!?" Then, scanning around with his eyes, he said, "I'll have you know that I have a VERY IMPORTANT THING to be doing here! And I DON'T wish to be DISTURBED!... Eh, so go away, now!" He waved with one hand as he said this last part.

Tak gritted her teeth as she kept grinning, wishing that she could explode his head with her psychic powers. 'Cause that would be far more useful than wearing this stupid, HORRIBLE dress! "But, _SIR!_ I just wanted to WELCOME you to this fine community -so, I made you this 'green bean casserole'!" She said the last part slowly, as it was an unfamiliar food item. Also, Dib had been laughing when he suggested it.

Looking down at it, Zim snarled and said, "I HAVE NO NEED FOR these... _'GREEN BEANS..of..CASSEROLE'_...! BEGONE WITH YOU!" With that he flicked his hand towards the hologrammed dish. He hit Tak's hand, but she managed to turn as he did this and pretend that she'd "caught it just in time". Being on 10-inch platforms meant this wasn't easy, but it worked.

"Whew~! Well, I'll say-!" Said Tak, then gave the mental signal to Dib, 'On my mark! I'll leave; _don't fire_ until my head is out of the way!' Then, turning to Zim, she stated, "You're the most ungrateful, horrible little man I've ever met!" She then "Humphed" and walked away dramatically.

Zim wasn't paying any attention, as he was watching his robot GIR doing something quite dangerous and stupid. As per usual. "GIR! I thought I told you to GET DOWN FROM THERE, and to STOP PLAYING with the PEPPER FIRER FEEDBACK LOOP REVERSE THRUSTERS!"

Tak's antenna involuntarily perked up under the itchy wig as she thought, '_That_ can't be good,' just as Dib opened fire on the hilltop. For the record, she WAS actually far enough away.

For the _other_ record, GIR was still capable of causing massive malfunctions that could affect both her and Dib.

With the grenade launched, Dib dove back down the hillside, and didn't stop until he hit a tree; of which he decided to hide behind until the blast was over.

The Pepper Firer was currently in reverse, its feedback loop function acting as a miniature cyclone. When the grenade hit it, the explosion caused a temporary inferno of flames, pepper, and, strangely enough, paste...! Dib wasn't caught up in it, but Tak, who hadn't expected such an insane turn of events, was.

It was enough that absolutely nothing in the universe seemed to destroy him: but why did he have to bring doom and destruction upon everything _around_ him!? This and other things Tak contemplated as she was sucked into the swirling fires of the cyclone. Dib didn't have much time for contemplating, but the few words of, 'Cyclone, fire, doom!' filtered into his mind. By the time the brief cyclone had blown itself out, he realized it was from Tak.

"TAAAK!" He yelled out, not worried for once about someone hearing him. A thin layer of pepper and ashes started falling on him, then little "splats" of paste droplets came down like rain. "What...?! Ulgh, what _is _this stuff?!" He asked as he chanced to taste it. Spitting it out instantly, he thought to himself, 'Maybe I better find Tak, first...'

_Finding _Tak was a lot easier when he could communicate psychically with her. Normally he could, but now he couldn't find any trace of her mind anywhere, no matter how loudly he shouted in his head! Finally pulling out his communicator, he called up the ship and said, "Hey, ship! Mimi! I can't find Tak anywhere! Do you know where she went...? And also, what the HFIL _happened_!?"

Replying, the ship said, {We don't know! We just saw a swirling vortex of fire, and then they all disappeared! Only you were left out of the explosion. We're scanning right now,} then, as if in an afterthought, it said, {While you're at it, do you happen to see Zim...?}

Looking around the now-pepper-and-ash-clouded area Dib did manage to spot him. "Yes! I see him! ...It looks like he's down on Maple Leaf Court! I guess he got blown down there by the machine...! But he's getting up -I better get over there! Oh, and, uh, when you find Tak, tell her to get over here!" He ran towards the neighborhood from his undeveloped side of the hill as fast as he could.

Jumping over cats and dodging trashcans, he finally found his enemy, who was slowly making his way up the hill, calling on his communicator for his unmanagable robot, GIR. He was just about to call out to him, when he remembered Tak's constant reminder: Never let your enemy know you're there! That was something she was constantly on about; he liked taunting Zim, but it was working against him in more ways than one.

Not that it mattered, now. Zim wasn't paying any attention to him as he yelled hoarsely into his communicator. Feeling around in his pockets, Dib was appalled to find that he had absolutely _nothing_ to capture him with!

'Curses! Looks like I'll have to use my own two hands!' Then, remembering that wrestling with him was probably the worst idea -from previous experience- he thought, 'No, wait; that's not good, now let's see here...' Spying a rock, he got a better idea.

"Hey, Zim!" He couldn't help calling out as he hurled a rock at Zim's big, square head. Well, it was square, anyways... But he wasn't as good an aim without proper equipment, and it hit Zim in his shoulder. Dib winced and looked around for something else to throw at him. Finding nothing but the garbage cans, he decided on another route.

"_Dib_!" Hissed Zim as he turned around, rubbing his right shoulder. "I should've _KNOWN_ it was YOU!" Then, standing and pointing at him as Dib dumped the garbage out of a can, he said, "_YOU'RE_ the one who sabotaged my MACHINE, _aren't you_!?"

Finally done with his garbage-dumping, Dib set the can down and picked up the little tin lid, "Yes, Zim! And now it's _ME _who's gonna' FINISH YOU!" Throwing the lid like a frisbee, Dib charged forward with the can just as Zim jumped to avoid the lid.

Dib slammed the can down over Zim to catch him; but Zim jumped on top of the can at the last second and snarled as he climbed using his spider-legs. "_You've_ done nothing but _annoy_ me, Dib! Now, _finally,_ I will HAVE YO-" Dib kicked the can out from under him and Zim landed with an "umph!"

'Dib!' Tak's mental voice was finally heard over the link, 'Just _what_ is going on, there!?' Dib jumped and looked around automatically; Zim took this advantage and tackled Dib. Rolling back and kicking Zim off, Dib thought, 'Not _NOW,_ Tak! I almost _HAD_ HIM!' before jumping at Zim again.

'What?!' Thought Tak as she wondered what in the heck had gone on during the short time she was unconscious. Despite the Pak's reactivation efforts, it seemed she'd missed some crucial part of the action. "Computer, Mimi," she spoke into her communicator, "Tell me what's happening. Dib's fighting with someone I can only assume is Zim."

{You're right,} replied the ship easily, {Since you were unconscious and Dib was close to him, I sent Dib to apprehend him. I thought after that explosion he would be sufficiently stunned. It looks like he was _not_... I'm sorry,} it added, feeling slightly ashamed of itself. It was the reconnoisance: it was supposed to view the danger before anyone else!

Sighing, Tak said, "It's alright: I assumed it was only a matter of time before Dib reverted to his old methods to capture Zim. In any event," Tak straightened herself up more, despite the pain, "Take me to where they are! Perhaps we can still get the drop on him."

{Agreed!} Sang the ship happily, as Mimi guided it to where Tak was. Jumping inside it, Tak had just enough time to turn her hologram off before Dib informed her of something.

'He's heading up Maple Red Avenue! I'm gonna' try and cut him off!' He ran up the street after his peppered, burnt, and pasted, enemy.

Tak flew fast, knowing that there was no telling what kind of trouble he could get into on his own: or what kind Zim had in store for him. Just as she reached the area, she jumped out -letting her wig fall to the ground and kicking off those ridiculous shoes- she stood in front of Zim, glaring.

"YOU!" Exclaimed Zim as he screeched to a halt in his running. "_YOU'RE_ that horrible NEIGHBOR-LADY!" He pointed accusingly at her.

"Yes, and let's just say that the only 'green bean casserole' around _here_ is going to be YOU!" She grinned evilly. But, she was still wearing that dress...

"You know, that dress _really_ doesn't look that good on you..." replied Zim, thinking, with a finger on his chin.

Worse things in life had been inflicted because someone insulted a woman's choice in clothing. But even _worse_ things are inflicted if that clothing wasn't that woman's personal preference. Hence, why Tak snarled and charged at Zim angrily; it just was so much worse when the enemy made fun of her horrid choice of clothing. She didn't pick it because she _liked_ it!

Dodging as she charged, Zim had just enough time to say, "Nyah-nyah!" before Tak pulled out a gun and shot a deadly laser-beam at him. "Nyaa-aah-hp!" Zim bit his tongue as he stumbled a bit. Just then, Dib ran up, seeing the scene, and decided to sneak around Zim's other side to corner him. Hopefully Tak was as good a shot as she thought she was.

"EVERYONE~!" Sang out GIR's voice; everyone turned their heads to see GIR, holding what seemed to be piles and piles of pastries on trays, and saying, "WHO~OO WANTS mah FILTHIES FRITTEE~ERRRS!" Shrieking at the end of this, GIR began flinging them at the three combatants, causing them to duck and scream.

Finally, Zim got control when he said, "GIIIRR! WHAT have you DONE WITH THE VOOT-CRUISER!?"

Stopping momentarily in his Filthies Fritters Flinging, GIR said, "I 'on't know... OOH! It's STINKING in teh SEWERS!" And then, flinging the last of the "_not _mud-filled" fritters at Tak and Dib, he jumped around and finally ran off in what Zim, or anyone else could assume, was the direction of the ship, since he wrenched off a man-hole cover and jumped down into it. Looking at it with disgust just for a moment, Zim climbed down the ladder as he complained about "filthy human sewage".

Coughing as he wiped off the brown, yet not-mud off his face, Dib said, "I think we should follow them down, *COUGH*!"

"Oh, _really_?! What made you _think_ -*cough gasp* It's so-!" Tak had started sarcastically, but now all she could do was cough and gasp at the horrendous stink. It was enough to kill a _hippo_! Although, she wasn't quite sure exactly _how_ much stink a hippo could take...

"*Gasp*! I think, we just found out the ingredients of GIR's -*cough*- Filthies Fritters!" Replied Dib as he wiped the last of it off his face.

"Let's hurry," said Tak succinctly, hoping not to have to open her mouth for the next four or five hours -or until she'd thoroughly cleaned herself. 'It's now I'm quite thankful for the necklace...'

'You're welcome,' Dib replied as he heard her thought.

'Of course, if you hadn't've given it to me, perhaps things would've progressed in a slightly _different_ manner...' Tak thought as she climbed down the ladder to the sewers.

'Hey, hey, now! Don't start with that, "if a butterfly flaps its wings" time-thing!' Replied Dib as he followed her.

Landing in the damp muck, they both looked around, 'His voice is still coming from that direction,' said Tak, pointing to their left.

'Wait!' Said Dib, grabbing her arm, 'Things echoing can make the original sound hard to pin-point -we'd better use scanners.'

'I know what I'm _doing_,' replied Tak tersely; then, pulling out a small screen, she pointed it in the direction she'd indicated and said, 'Yup, it's that direction. Let's get going.'

Glaring, Dib almost wanted to say something about "Lucky guesses", but just the idea in his head was enough to get the point across. Instead, he focused on allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

'Dang...! Maybe I should start wearing a pirate patch...?' Was drifting through his mind. Tak glanced back with an incredulous look, but decided to ignore it. His mind was _never_ quiet. Not that it was a _bad _thing to have an active mind -just annoying to _hear _it.

'We're coming up to a fork; which way...?' She thought as she aimed the screen-scanner-thing.

'Humh?' Thought Dib as he glanced up, hoping she'd need his help with something. He was getting really bored not doing anything.

'Nevermind. To the right,' replied Tak, then, jumping deftly across the gap in order to go that way, she turned back to Dib and said, 'Are you coming...?'

'Uhm...yeah, I can't quite tell where the edge is... Don't you have a light or something...?' Asked Dib as he squinted in the dark.

Sighing, Tak pulled a light attachment out of her Pak. It was held just over one shoulder, lighting her way. Squinting as the light glared in his eyes, Dib said, "Augh!" Turning the light to the ground, Tak showed the gap Dib had to cross. 'That's much better,' he replied as he blinked.

Edging back just a bit, Dib took a jump and almost skidded as he reached the other side. 'There! That wasn't so hard, was it?' Asked Tak tauntingly.

Sighing, Dib just thought, 'Let's get on with this! Zim's probably halfway there, by now!'

Tak shook her head and thought, 'Edgy, edgy~!' as she turned and continued on.

It seemed like so long, when really it was only about five minutes that they were walking, climbing, jumping over sewer-water and other stuff, and basically hoping it would end very, very soon.

Eventually they started hearing more sounds -these were familiar sounds, those of Zim's voice yell-talking, and GIR's insane utterances. As they got nearer, Tak turned the light off to avoid detection. They edged in closer and could hear what they were talking about.

"With this flame-shooter, I can sneak up on that unsuspecting DIB-HEAD and BURN HIS EYEBALLS OUT!" Zim was saying.

GIR, who was apparently holding said apparatus, simply said, "I _like_ fire~!" in a highly spooky voice.

"Er...that's nice, GIR. Now~! On to another AMA~AAZING PLAN! Get in the Voot-Cruiser, GIR!" There was the sound of Zim scrambling into the cockpit, as if something was obstucting it. One could only guess, as they were actually _inside of a sewer_!

"LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIIIIRRREEE!" Screamed GIR as he flew down the sewer corridor at Dib and Tak, much to Zim's horror, and shooting flames as he went. The flames quickly caught onto the sewage and ignited.

"NNNOOO! GIIIIRRR!" Shouted Zim, but it was too late. He couldn't see that Dib and Tak were almost char-broiled, but if he had, he might've been proud of it.

"SITTIN' ON A TELEPHONE-EY WIII-RRRRRREEEEE!"

Dib and Tak jumped back, dodging as the flames flew by. Pushing Tak down, Dib gasped as he realized that the sewage had lit on fire. Tak gasped and coughed on the horrendous fumes that were now released, along with the depletion of oxygen.

Leaning on a door with a wheel on it, Tak thought to Dib, 'In here! Perhaps we can escape through this!' before turning the wheel to open it and pulling him in.

Inside, Dib thought, 'This reminds me of something, only I can't think of what... Hey, what are those little doors with wheels on them for, anyways?' He thought this just as Tak closed the door behind them.

'What?' Asked Tak, and coughed as a rumbling sound was heard all around them. Looking up in horror, they both cowered together as the walls came tumbling down.

This was caused by Zim's calling GIR back to the ship successfully, -with more fire- and the ship's ascent breaking the surrounding sewer-walls. Who knows how GIR got the ship in there in the first place. If he'd known he had just trapped his arch-enemies in the sewers, he would've blasted it to kingdom come. But, thankfully, he was completely ignorant as he flew off to freedom once again.

Meanwhile, Tak and Dib were left, huddling, hoping the walls didn't come down to crush them. At this point, Tak was hoping that the necklace would work to make some sort of force-field around them. Not happening, she resorted to her own force-field, knocking Dib down as she used it. Though he didn't seem to mind, as he crawled as near to it as possible.

Once the tremors had subsided, they took a look around. It was relatively small and dry in their little hole, but they were in the sewers, and it wouldn't be for long. There was another tremor as they stood up, forcing them to hold on to something -each other- until it faded. Letting go, they looked around nervously.

'Do you think it'll collapse if we make loud noises...?' Thought Dib anxiously.

'I don't see how -according to the scanner, it's sealed pretty tight,' replied Tak as she scanned the cement chunks around them.

'It looks like we'll have to call the ship and Mimi for help,' thought Dib as he poked at the walls.

'Don't DO that!' Tak snatched his hand away.

'What do you mean, "don't do that"?! I thought you said it was safe!' Thought Dib, pouting.

'I only said that it was sealed pretty tight and wouldn't move due to accoustics -NOT that you should go poking around at it and possibly knock some stones loose!' Replied Tak in the manner of someone reprimanding a young boy for messing with delicate knick-knacks.

Glaring, Dib thought, 'Why do you always treat me like a child...?!'

Looking at him with a completely blank face, she simply thought, 'Is he _serious_...?'

Gritting his teeth, Dib thought back, 'What?! Of COURSE I'm serious!' as he flung up his arms.

Putting a hand to her head, she simply thought, 'LOOK, Dib, you're TEN YEARS OLD!'

'I'M ELEVEN!' He replied, hoping he was shouting as loud as he could in her mind.

'And you're simply TOO INEXPERIENCED-'

'And WHAT GOOD did EXPERIENCE do FOR YOU!?' Dib interrupted her thought with this new one. They both glared at each other in silence, until a small rodent squeaked and caused Tak to zap it with something. It wasn't good to have disease-carrying rodents in here with them.

'It's no use arguing with a little kid,' Tak finally thought as she crossed her arms and looked away, 'Especially when they won't listen.'

'Oh, like THAT'S mature,' replied Dib angrily, 'Not talking to someone just because you're mad at them?!'

'At _least_ it's better than arguing with an _idiot_!' Replied Tak with a snarl. She still wasn't looking at him.

'Hah hah, what a crack team _we_ turned out to be,' Dib thought sardonically as he sat down on some nearby piece of concrete.

Tak sighed as she considered the implications of another failed attempt to kill Zim. This wasn't going as well as she'd planned.

'What was it you'd planned...?' Asked Dib after a moment of musing to themselves had caused him to catch her thought.

'Huh? Oh, it's nothing... Why do you ask?' It was Tak's turn to be curious.

'Well, we are partners, more or less,' replied Dib, 'Some communication might be-'

'Hah! _Partners_!' Tak started angrily, then put a hand to her head and thought, 'No, no, this isn't helping anything...!' Then, sitting down on a nearby piece of concrete as well, she leaned her head in her hands.

'What's the matter?' Asked Dib, wondering why the usually tough and commanding Tak was hanging her head in exhaustion.

'It's not just that I'm tired,' replied Tak, sensing his thoughts, 'It's just that I'm wondering where I went wrong...' She pulled her head up and rested her chin on her hands.

'What do you mean...?' Asked Dib, knowing full well she could start blaming him for all this.

'Although I could just blame my involving _you_ as my lackey,' started Tak.

'HEY!'

Ignoring his protests, she continuted, 'Still, it seems to be from before that... The very first time I came here, I had this brilliant plan, and I worked alone; not only did I have the element of surprise, I was able to disable Zim's base so he wouldn't be able to stop me. But still, I failed...!'

'Well, you didn't exactly disable _Zim_,' replied Dib, 'AND, when Zim came to me for help, there's no way I wouldn't suspect something with that Giant Weenie Stand!'

'And then you teamed up with him to stop me,' replied Tak, taking a glance at him.

'Erm... Yeah,' was all Dib thought. He didn't quite know what to say about it now: it was quite clear at the time that his planet was in danger.

There was silence for the next few moments as they both considered their own thoughts. Finally, leaning up with a sigh and stretching, Dib thought, 'There must be something we're _missing_...!'

'You mean, _besides _the Psychic Instructor...?' Thought Tak with a wry smile.

'Hah hah, very funny, and _yes_, I mean besides that!' Replied Dib with a roll of his eyes at that old subject.

'I can't think of anything, besides there being some sort of insane, mysterious force that keeps Zim impervious to danger while causing it to others,' replied Tak as she shifted the weight of her head from one hand to the other.

'Speaking of which,' Dib suddenly thought, 'Why _would_ Zim stay alive and not be punished for the horrible things he's done...?' He'd done some research into the subject, with the help of some new, interstellar contacts -however, he hadn't heard from them as of late- and he realized that what Tak's ship had informed him of was true: Zim _was_ just an idiot in exile, here. Huh. Go figure.

'Oh, he _was_ punished,' explained Tak, 'But he managed to escape his first punishment -a demotion to a Food Service Drone on Food Courtia- and thus was given this fake mission to get him out of the way.'

'Ulgh! I can't imagine ever _willingly_ going into fast-food,' replied Dib as he thought of the constant smell of grease.

Tak continued, 'It gets even worse: In fact, not too long ago, he was also called back to Judgementia to stand trial for his life. The sentence was for his Pak to be removed and its data erased and never remembered -a chilling thought for any Irken. But he also managed to escape that, because his data was simply too corrupted for the three LARGE Control Brains to filter through. They were rendered insane, and ruled that he was "The Greatest Irken Ever" and granted him 10 free minutes of piloting The Massive!'

Blinking, Dib said, now out loud for the absudity of it, "What?!"

'Now, of course, that ruling has since been considered faulty because of their insanity -they had to be removed and replaced with all-new brains! You can't really _imagine_ how long that takes!' Tak continued on, undaunted, and ending this with an eye-roll.

'No, no, wait a minute! Zim's Pak data was _SO CORRUPTED_, that he actually drove the _Control Brains_ INSANE!?' Dib asked again, this time mentally, like he should be doing.

'Mmm-yep! That's why the Almighty Tallest entrusted me with this mission: I'm not an Invader yet, meaning that they won't waste precious resources trying to kill him. And if I _do_ in fact manage to kill him, they'll have one less horror in the universe. They'd probably give me almost anything I wanted for doing that, actually. Maybe I should ask for monies, as well?' Tak finished this and mused about the things she could and probably couldn't ask for.

'That's...!' Was all Dib could think. Then, he thought, 'Wait a minute...! Why do you want to be an Invader so badly? I mean, what's so great about it?'

'"What's so great about it?"! Dib, are you _SERIOUS_!?' Tak leaned up and looked at him incredulously. 'Invaders are the _best_ Irken Soldiers: The Irken ELITE! Aside from the Almighty Tallest and their Advisors -along with a few political jobs- they get the best pay and are practically _celebrities_ among Irkens! Being an Invader means being a _CONQUERER_! Not just some silly day-job where you go out, do some boring stuff, then come home and eat! THIS is EXCITEMENT! And ADVENTURE!'

Blinking at her enthusiastic rant, Dib just thought, 'Oh,' because he couldn't think of what else to say. Then, after a minute, 'You mean, you never wanted to be anything else...?'

'Ah, well, there was that _one_ time where I wanted to be an Emergency Drone, but apparently I didn't have the knack for it,' she replied absentmindedly. 'And besides, my favorite was always espionage and attacking!'

"You've sure got the _knack_ for it," mumbled Dib out loud. He was growing tired of all this silence. He needed to hear some voice or he would go crazy!

'You're...' Then suddenly Tak smirked, 'You don't talk to yourself unless you feel _lonely_!'

"Oh, come on! That's just _normal_...!" Replied Dib, but trailed off quietly. He'd never really thought about the reasons, but that seemed pretty reasonable. Perhaps it wasn't that odd, after all? Of course, he didn't really _feel_ that lonely...most of the time.

'Oh, _really_...?' Thought Tak, egging him on.

"And, anyways, humans are _SOCIAL_! I can't help but feel a bit lonely when I'm _alone_ most of the time!" He replied, waving a hand.

'Psh...' she thought, then mumbled, almost inaudibly, "So are Irkens," then, thinking, 'It's no big deal.'

'What?!' Thought Dib. "What? Did you just say, 'so are Irkens'?!"

Sighing, "Yes, Dib!" Tak turned her head away again.

'Wow, cool! That makes sense, actually...' He mused over this with a hand held to his chin.

'It's annoying to be stuck baby-sitting some kid,' thought Tak as she watched the walls not moving around her. Her thoughts trailed on, wandering, 'Too bad humans haven't considered raising their children in seperate facilities away from the adults; ahhh...just being underground brings back memories... Although it never used to smell this bad unless something died...'

"What?" Asked Dib aloud again. "What are you talking about...?! Ohph!" He suddenly put a hand to his mouth as he realized he was responding to a mental comment with a verbal one.

Smirking at this, Tak thought, 'Still such an amateur...! As for the thoughts, Irkens are raised underground until their body-shells are hard enough to endure the sunlight and changes in temperature on the planet's surface. They take the majority of their training underground.'

'Oh...!' Thought Dib, now interested, 'Do you have any choice? Are there different electives? Or is everybody just taught the same thing? Or what?!' His constant questions were now a welcome diversion to musing over her misspent life.

'Everyone downloads the sum of all Irken knowledge after they're born, but they each can have different talents and interests. Depending on their skills, they may have a few or many career options. In any event, they're all trained in military combat, since all Irkens are a part of the Irken Military. Understand, now?' Tak patiently and succinctly explained all of this without feeling once irritated.

'Trained in combat?! How?!' Asked Dib, now leaning forward on the edge of his seat.

'Through virtual simulation, of course.' Replied Tak, rolling her eyes.

'Oh! Yeah, that makes sense...!' Replied Dib, rubbing his chin with one finger. 'Say, does that mean that Irkens can see well in the dark?' He was referring to her earlier ease of navigating the sewers without a light.

'Yes and no. Better than a human, yes; but after reaching adulthood, the ability dims somewhat. The smeets usually have the best eyesight in the dark.'

'Huh. That's interesting...' thought Dib. His mind was now whirling with all kinds of ideas.

'Are there any more questions?' Asked Tak, though surprisingly not as annoyed as he thought she'd be by now.

'Yes, LOTS!' Was Dib's initial thought; but at seeing the slight cringe on Tak's face, he simply replied, 'Erm! I mean, that's okay, I'm good for now.'

'Okay, good,' replied Tak, wondering where she'd found a new well-spring of tolerance. Perhaps that just came with exhaustion and wondering the direction your life was heading...?

After a while longer of re-thinking their life courses, Dib finally spoke up -well, thought, 'You know, I may not have all that _experience_ and _training_ that you have,' he started out.

'What...?!' Wondered Tak. Just where was this heading...?!

'But,' he continued, standing up, 'What I _do_ have is some intelligence and observational skills, along with my personal knowledge of Zim, which might come in handy,' he continued, holding out his hand in a guesture of goodwill.

'Well...I guess your head _does_ work well for redirecting projectiles...' replied Tak as she stood up, dusting her outfit off fruitlessly, and looking at his hand.

'Hey!' Replied Dib as she said this, then looked down to see what she was looking at. Grinning cheesily, he retracted it, as if to reassure her that she didn't have to touch it.

'That, _and_ I'm _impossibly_ tenacious!' He added, once this was done.

'_Or_ just _incredibly stubborn_...?!' Replied Tak, eyeing him.

'That, too!' He replied, still smirking.

Pulling out her communicator, Tak said, "Mimi! Do a scan for us and bring the ship around!"

{Yes, Sir! We're coming!} Replied the ship enthusiastically.

Turning back to Dib, Tak thought, 'You DO know we're right back where we started, don't you?'

'Yeah, but I figure, we can do things different this time!' Dib replied with a shrug.

'Good point,' replied Tak, just as the ship hovered above their location. It would take some interesting work to get out of this little crawl-space, but for now, they didn't care.

0

* * *

0

Dib jumped down from the ship as it landed in his garage. Tak had found her other means of conveyance along the way and taken it, along with Mimi, back to her base. They both stank to high heaven, but at least they hadn't fallen into any sewer-water. It was just the stench of GIR's "Filthies Fritters", among other things, that overpowered their olfactory senses enough that they almost couldn't smell it.

Crunching along in his half-burnt-off boots, he considered about whether or not he needed a new coat -he certainly couldn't imagine he'd get the stench out of it, no matter what he tried~!

{Eeew! I can't wait to disinfect myself~!} Moaned the ship as he disembarked. He just waved behind him and thought about using bleach in his bathwater. Or maybe perhaps hydrogen-peroxide?

Opening the door to the house, he wish he could smell the comforting scent of his home. Yeah, he definitely wasn't using any of these clothes again...!

As he walked through the livingroom, Gaz scrunched up her nose and said, "Pee-yeeew! What happened to _you_!?"

"*Laugh* GIR threw his 'Filthies Fritters' at us! Heh heh, as if _that_ wasn't enough, we had to chase Zim and GIR through the sewers, until GIR used a flame-shooter to ignite the sewage...! *Laugh* Sewage..." Dib's reply was unusually cool and relaxed; considering he didn't catch Zim, and he now smelt like the business end of some unimaginable monster.

Gaz's eyes had opened just a bit more to view him in his insane laughing, but it just seemed like one of those things that were so horrible, you laugh because you lived through it. She now squinted her eyes again and turned back to her game, saying, "Sounds like the _worst_ date in existence...!"

"Hah, hah," replied Dib sarcastically as he walked upstairs to take a bath -and perhaps dip himself in disinfectant.

0

* * *

0

Sitting down at his computer that night, Dib was surprised to hear from Tak again. 'Hey, Dib, I've got a problem,' she never was one to mince words.

'Woah! Uhm, hey, what's up?' He asked as he browsed his favorite websites. There was nothing there, so he signed on to his "Skippie-Dee-Doo-Dah" messenger to see if anyone else was on.

'You know how those, "Men in Black" have been sniffing around you lately?' She asked, gaining his full attention.

'What?! You mean you're having trouble with them!?' He thought in alarm.

'Well, no; not yet, actually. But it seems they've been looking around the abandoned construction-site lately. I don't know if it's because they saw a couple of my other hologram forms coming here, but if they're keeping an eye out, it means I'll have to restrict my movements... What have you noticed on your end?'

'Nothing yet; either it's because my dad is keeping them away, or my sister's dolls are -I don't think they've made any moves recently.' Dib closed his messanger and looked through his computer for spyware or other malicious ne'er do wells, just in case. Speaking of sniffing... He sniffed his coat and winced; his back-up coat still smelled like that strange stuff he got sprayed with when he went after that chupacabra. He tried to ignore the annoying smells coming off his coat.

'_Never_ get complacent!' Reminded Tak sharply, paying no attention to his thoughts of smells, 'If they haven't moved, then it means they're looking for something and/or thinking of a plan! If they move, it means they're assured of success. They aren't as simple-minded as the rest of your people...'

'Okay, I get it,' Dib pouted at the reminder that most of his people didn't seem to care about unusual happenings, 'I'll do a thorough search and scan into all my computer files, and set up new firewalls and such. What are you going to do on your end?'

'I suppose I'll either need to hide out until the coast is clear, or try to move my base to another location. Tch!' Dib was sure she was actually clicking her tongue in annoyance, 'I shouldn't have built my base so far into the city!'

'Why _did _you?' Asked Dib curiously. He really wanted to know how her mind worked.

'I was counting on the "hidden in plain sight" rule...' she replied, sighing.

'But abandoned construction sites or buildings are just _obviously_ suspicous! It's the first kind of place you'd _look_ for someone to hide!' He replied, waving a hand around.

'I was actually selling it to a prospective buyer;' replied Tak, 'But at the last second, they bailed! *Sigh* I wonder if those curse-ed Men in Black have anything to do with it...?'

'I wouldn't be surprised; they have a lot of power, since they're from the government.' Dib replied, now wishing he had a bag of chips to snack on. For some reason, the smell was making him crave corn-chips.

'In any case, I'll have to be careful how I move from now on,' she added, trying to sum up.

'Hey!' Thought Dib suddenly, 'Why don't we just convince them that your _REAL_ base, hint hint, nudge nudge, is in _another_ part of town?!'

'Hhhmmm...a good diversionary tactic, but I'm afraid I just don't have the resources to make a second one...' Tak replied thoughtfully.

'Well, maybe we don't _need_ any of that?' Replied Dib, then, 'If we can steal some stuff from Zim's base, then with my dad's technology, we can probably cobble together enough of a facade to make them _think_ it's the real thing!' All thoughts of the smell were now absent from his mind.

'You mean, something like leaving a transceiver in a certain area and enough materials that it would appear there's something Irken under the ground?' She expanded on his idea. 'It would be even better if they saw my hologrammed form going into and out of it once in a while,' then, after thinking, 'I believe I can make my little "runabout" look like my ship...!'

'Good! Then that means we can throw them off the trail! ...Oh, but wait! What if they still try to keep tabs on your _real_ base?' Dib thought, putting a hand to his chin.

'I'll probably need to lie low for a while, now, so we can gather our resources and plot things out with our psychic link -then, when it's time, we can assemble the new "base" somewhere else- what do you think?'

'It sounds great! I'll be looking for a _real good_ Psychic Instructor in the meantime; I'll tell you if I find anything!' Replied Dib, happy that they seemed to be making progress without yelling.

'Good! I'll tell you if there are any changes, and remember my advice: don't _ever_ get complacent!' Tak replied, mentally wagging a finger at his head. 'It's saved me more than once!'

'_Really_?!' Asked Dib, now interested in what kind of story that was. 'I'd like to hear more about that!'

'Not right now; I have plans to make, and _you_ need your "beauty sleep",' she replied, smirking.

'Heh heh heh, yeah, sure~! I get the point; I'll shut up, now! Goodnight!' Replied Dib, almost giggling.

'Goodnight,' replied Tak. Then, as an afterthought, 'Smeety-dreams!'

'Hey!'

0

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0

Getting up from his computer, Dib paced the room, thinking. There weren't that many places left for him to search; unfortunately, most _really good_ psychics didn't need to advertise, they used word of mouth. The smell from his coat wafted into his nose again, and he finally caved in. He _really_ needed to get another coat.

Tossing it in the trash-can, he headed downstairs for some corn-chips and money to buy a new trenchcoat.

After grabbing some chips and some more money, (he'd forgotten he spent most of it at the Rouletebille show), he headed to his favorite coat store. Cringing, he felt strangely naked without the black leather signature camoflague. It was odd; even when it was the hottest, he still wouldn't take it off. It's not like it was that warm, anyways. He just didn't like the feeling of being out in the open. Perhaps it stemmed from all that time spying on supernatural phenomenon?

In any case, he still couldn't stand it, despite the mild weather that night. It wasn't too late; but the sun had already set, and as he hurried along, he wished he could blend in with the shadows. He was glad it was on the nicer side of town; maybe no one would think to mug a scrawny little boy? He hoped he didn't look rich. Darnit! Everytime he was without his coat, his thoughts turned paranoid.

He _really_ needed to quit that.

Turning into the store, the shopkeeper greeted him, "Good evening, Sir, how may I help you?"

"Uhm, yeah, my last black leather Beau Dai coat was, uh, ruined, so I need to get a new one. Do you still carry them?"

"DO we still CARRY zhem?! Monseir! WE are zee _Fabrique Fashionique_ of Beau Dai! Of _course _we do!" The shopkeeper's fake accent was _really_ annoying.

Dib cringed at his horrible accent, but said nothing on this subject as he replied, "Okay, that's good..."

"Qui, qui, qui! Right zhis way~!" The annoying shopkeeper said, walking towards a wall at the back.

After picking out a few interesting styles in the color he wanted, the shopkeeper asked him, "What size would you like zhis in...? Hhm, you look to be about a size...what? 10 boysz?"

"Yeah, that's right," replied Dib.

"Ah, but, you may want to get zee next size up; you're zstill growing."

"Hm...that's a good point... I'll get one in this size, and one in a size 12," replied Dib, looking at the two favorite styles he'd picked.

"Good! Very good, Sir, zhat'll be 120 dollars!"

Blinking, but not from shock of money, Dib wondered slightly what he would ever do without having so much money to throw around, as he pulled out the cash. But this thought was dispelled as he checked the seams to make sure they wouldn't tear if he had to use it for a rope or something.

Back at home, he wondered why one light was dim in the kitchen as he happily made his way back to his room. Opening the door, he was shocked to find a six-foot-tall horror floating up from his trash-can, glowing a pale, ghostly blue, and looking for all the world like someone got caught in a wood-chipper with a very live pine tree. Screaming, he jumped back.

It was hard to make out exactly _what_ it was... It was probably either a phantom or a gaseous horror spawned unknowingly from his old coat. Either way, he was about to consider whether it was trying to kill him or whether he could study it, but it spat acidic juices out at his wall and desk, causing him to re-think. It wasn't going to be easy if he had no idea what it was.

Just then, Gaz walked up and said, "I TOLD you you should've gotten rid of that coat before! NOW look what it's done!"

"Wh-wha-what!?" Exclaimed Dib, wide-eyed.

"Hold on," she said, then walked off somewhere. Dib didn't see where she went, as he was too busy keeping an eye on the gaseous, phantomic horror, to make sure it didn't spit any of that acidic stuff at _him_.

Coming back just a short, split-second later, Gaz blasted the horror with a flame-thrower. Dib didn't ask where she got one, because, quite frankly, she's his sister. He probably would end up with a fist through his face just for being "ungrateful".

"There. YOU'RE WELCOME. *Mumble grumble*" She turned and wandered off.

Dib just stared at the ashes of the most intriguing -if not outright terrifying- paranormal thing he'd ever seen. And wondered if it'd be alright to poke it.

0

* * *

0

The Sasquatch, Bill Beauregard, the Yeti, Fredrick Frankenstean, and the Bigfoot, Harry Misanthropomorph, sat at the small table in the coffee shop, silently. Things were getting bigger by the second, and poor Fred had blamed himself for his tipping off the Swollen Eyeball Network with that dramatic story. But that didn't mean that he could be blamed for _all_ of their actions. And so his friends tried to console him while they wondered what they could do to make amends.

(Incidentally, the "date" set-up for Harry with Spitty was yesterday.) Since they were sure they'd be watched, especially if they were all together, they simply slid folded pieces of paper stating their current findings to each other. Consoling Fred had to be done silently, if at all. But poor Fred was beyond his own blame and was now focusing on the current problem; well, more or less...

Despite not reading the papers until they left and were safely at home, they could still read the somber atmosphere around the others. Things were _not_ good. If this kept up, it would not only put the little big-headed boy's family and friends in danger, but also all of them! They had to nip it in the bud; but at the moment, they had no idea how to do that.

'Curse those stupid suits...!' Was Bill's thought, which was basically echoed by the other two, although they couldn't hear it and were unable to respond to it.

'Curse those stupid Eyeball Agents...!' Was Fred's thought, which would've been echoed by the other two, had they had a psychic link like Dib and Tak did.

Leaning up and blowing out a stream of breath in a sigh, Harry took a sip of his drink. This was not going to be easy from now on, and he just wished his family would keep the personal crisises to a minimum while they tried to fix this. He didn't need to plan an engagement party while trying to stop the Men in Black! Leaning his arm on the table again, he said, "Well, guys, I guess it's about time I left; I'll be seein' ya'."

There really wasn't much else to be said. Reading their notes was out of the question until they were sure no one was spying on them, and they were all too bummed to talk about anything else.

"'Bye," said Bill, leaning up as he watched him go.

"Hhmm, see ya'," said Fred absentmindedly as he considered his options. There was really only one left; and it was unpleasant.

With that, the silent little meeting of three friends was finished.

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It was only after they were safe in their homes, away from the prying eyes of the government, that they could read their notes.

Fred's notes from Bill and Harry read as follows:

There's no news yet on the we-coast front. No extra-terrestial interference yet. Call Billy if you need help.

Bill

("We-coast" meaning "west-coast", just a short-cut phrase they commonly used.)

Then he read Harry's:

I've eaten things that smelled worse than this, but those two reeked to high heaven and BACK! Terrible thing with that explosion -that little alien BH-Kid chases after is annoying and practically indestructible. Don't want to think what that little cyan-eyed robot put in those fritters! I'll be writing this one down, for sure! ...I wonder if BH-Kid and his friend are alright after the sewers ignited? Too much stink from that! I'll inform you in wonders later.

Harry

("BH-Kid" obviously was their acronym for "Big-headed Kid", aka Dib.)

Whereas Fred's notes to Harry and Bill only said:

I need some more time to think about my options. Something must be done to right this. I'll tell you about it after I've done it.

Fred

Re-reading Harry's note, both Fred and Bill only had one thought in their heads: "WHAT in the _HECK_!?"

They would certainly be looking forward to Harry's full recounting of the tale the next time they met.

0

0

Fred's options had included only one thing: and with the government's current interest with all their activities, getting in contact with the Swollen Eyeball Network's agents was much harder than usual.

The only way he could possibly do it was through snail-mail. And that's what he decided to do. Using no return-address would be strange, so he made the envelope look very official, like one of those addressed to "So-and-so, or Current Occupant". But he added something only a Swollen Eyeball agent would look out for: a strong, pungent, musky scent. It was frankinsense and myhrr, something unusual in normal mail to receive.

Sending it straight to the head Eyeball would be too risky, and so he sent it to one who was close, but still interested enough to look into it. There; his job done, he went back to his home feeling rather relieved and satisfied, if not anxious that it be delivered properly.

0

* * *

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The next several days were relatively uneventful. The Swollen Eyeballs had resorted to much weirder means to keep in touch, and Agent Dark Booty had taken it upon himself to get in touch with Dib, via a fish in a ship in a bottle. Don't even _ask_ how that works; it's just great if it's delivered to the right house!

Taking the fish in a ship in a bottle, Dib signed the package delivery form and closed the front door. Opening up the bottle to listen to the tiny little gold fish, he nodded his head in acknoledgement. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh," then, turning his mouth to the fish who was thanking him for taking its message, he said, "No problem!" Quite a bit loudly, so that the fish cringed and shook from it. "Oops! I'm sorry!" He whispered this time. Putting the cork back on it, he tossed it into the garbage can.

The fish, had one been able to hear its thoughts, was thinking, 'Oh, man, I HATE this part!' Because, it had to ride the whole transit through the garbage-truck's route, just to get back to its talking fish-in-ships-in-bottles home.

"Gaz, I'm goin' back up to my room to work on my stuff; don't let any weird men or other dogs into the house!" Dib called out to his sister who sat on the couch, playing an old game. She growled at this and just ignored him. Of _course _she wouldn't let anyone strange in the house!

0

* * *

0

Back up in his room, Dib was surprised to see his computer beeping, registering a call. Because of the current situation, he wasn't communicating with his other contacts using ordinary means; so who could it be?

Sitting at the desk and pressing the "on" button for the holo-screen, he was surprised with who he saw. Checking the reciever data on his computer, he looked up, eyes wide, as he said, "Oh," while simultaneously hoping Tak wasn't listening in.

Because the person on the other side of the screen, previously hinted at, was none other than Lard-nar, leader of the Resisty. He seriously had to plan his plans better. Just when he was finally on good terms with Tak, he felt things were about to back-pedal quickly if she found out about this. Sweating nervously, he said, "H-Hi! Wh-what's up?"

The person on the other side of the screen seemed to be preoccupied with something, and so they looked up suddenly when he'd finally greeted them and said, "Oh, right! The Big-headed Kid! Dib, right?" Dib felt like moaning and face-palming, since that seemed to be the name that followed him everywhere, no matter _where_ he'd go!

"Yeah, that's me," he replied anyways, wanting this un-timed nightmare to end. Where was a badly-fired Zim plan when he needed one?!

"Look, we've got a couple of questions for you; are you alright?" Lard-nar suddenly looked concerned. Was his face _really_ sweating that badly...?! Perhaps he could claim that he was ill or something...?

"Uhm, yeah! No, really! I'm, uh, just a little ill right now, that's all!" Replied Dib, trying to smile nervously and failing. What was that Tak had said? "Never get complacent"? No, no! "Shut-up, Dib!" No, no, no! "Stop flailing around!" ...Yeah, that was close enough. Pretending that he was rubbing his head for a headache, he took a few deep breaths and tried to focus.

"Oooh-kaaay... Then, perhaps we should call...back...?" Replied Lard-nar on the other end.

"N-NO! WAIT!" Exclaimed Dib, suddenly. What if the Men in Black were tracing this call? This could be the one and only time to warn them...! "I'm sorry, but if you call back, you, no, we! Could be in real danger!"

"'Real _danger_'?!" Repeated Lard-nar incredulously. "Are you sure you aren't just delusional with fever...?" Well, it _was_ a valid question, if he was pretending to be sick...

But even still, Dib had to insist on his lucidity: "No, no! I mean, I know how this sounds, but right now I'm being monitored by a hostile government agency on my own planet that is...somewhat...not nice to aliens from other planets...!" Dib finished nervously.

"Ooohhh...! That's right, because your planet is so far out...!" Replied Lard-nar in understanding. It wasn't just the technological difference: since humans rarely had any contact with those from other planets, it just stands to reason that they'd be far more...protective...than others would.

"In any case, what were those questions you wanted to ask? And make it quick! I don't know if they can track or decode this signal!" Dib glanced around, giving the slight impression that he was paranoid. Well, if one had hostile government agents monitoring them, _any_one would be!

"Right, about that... There's some suspicious rumors about a couple of Irkens on your planet..." Lard-nar was now looking down at a paper and reading things off of it. Huh. So aliens still used paper sometimes...? Neat! That was cool to find out, but it didn't help him in answering the questions.

"A couple of...? You mean, besides _Zim_?" He asked, finding a lump in his throat.

"Yeah -oh, and that reminds me- if I ever get the chance, I'd like to go down there personally and cause some _hurt_ to him...!" Lard-nar shook his fist. Apparently he'd had a terrible experience with Zim, as well. Perhaps they could unite the universe just with their hatred of Zim...?

Finding this idea somewhat funny, Dib had to bite his lip to respond. "Exactly _how many_...?" He asked, finding this idea a little tough to swallow. The only other Irken _he_ knew of was Tak!

"Uhm...according to our sources...just two. Anything you can tell us?" Asked Lard-nar, almost pleadingly. Perhaps they were Irkens wanting to escape the Empire? Perhaps they could be used in the Resisty's battle to work _against_ it..? It was a long shot, but it was worth the try!

Dib suddenly wished he was a whole lot better at acting than he really was. "I-I'm sorry, I wish I could," was all he found to say. It wasn't a lie; he really _couldn't_! But just to tell them that Tak was sent there to destroy Zim would _still_ be a problem, and he couldn't justify it to Tak. There was a better chance for the both of them if others, especially the ones who were possibly tapping into this conversation, didn't know.

Sighing and leaning back, Lard-nar replied, "Too bad, I was hoping you would; but perhaps they're on another part of your world."

Dib smiled worriedly as he nodded, "Yeah, I guess so..."

"The next question, then: There's been some weird, suspicious rumors about some kind of psychic-power-amplifying stone! But that's so bizarre it doesn't need getting into; besides, Psytonium isn't even _in_ your galaxy!" As Lard-nar said this, he was carefully watching Dib's face. He wondered if he was that ill that he couldn't think... "But, if this kind of power got into the enemy's hands, we still would be afraid; you know what I mean?"

Blinking, Dib felt his mind go blank as he said, "Well, yeah! Absolutely!" There was a pause, and then, "Psytanium...?!" He asked this incredulously, remembering that videogame.

"No, no, no! PsyTOnium! It's a psycho-reactive metal, but it's only present in two galaxies, as far as we know... In any case, it's probably not true, just some stupid little rumor." Then, after thinking, Lard-nar added, "Lots of rumors going around about the place Zim's stationed at. It's quite the popular joke-maker!"

Dib felt some pain finally returning to his head -though it was emotional- and he was finally able to stop feeling light-headed and reply sarcastically, "Oh, _wonderful_. My planet's the butt of intergalactic jokes!" He put a hand to his head and felt like leaning on it. He surely wanted some help...!

The aliens on the other side of the line observed him closely to see if he was being sarcastic, and seeing his depressed face, they decided he was. "Er, sorry about that!..." Replied Lard-nar nervously, with a smile.

Rolling his eyes, Dib simply said, "Don't worry about it; at least _I'M_ used to that...!" His slightly depressive and mystifying answer left the ones on the other side of the line wondering. And curious about whether or not any of those rumors were true...

Looking at his -assistant?- who was holding some screen of some sort up for him to see, Lard-nar suddenly said, "Ah! Not another Skim-We-ave! Sorry, we gotta' go! Bye!"

"Remember not to call ba-!" Dib was cut off as the line went dead. Hanging his head in his hands, he looked up and asked, "What's _wrong_ with me and my _head_...?!" Before finally deciding that it just wasn't worth it tonight, and went to bed early.

0

* * *

0

What was in that message from the fish in a ship in a bottle that Agent Dark Booty had given to Dib...?

The fish spoke clearly and simply into his ear. With the bottle and small bit of water inside amplifying the sound, it was easy to hear. The ship served as its living quarters, and also hid the fish. So it just looked like someone was getting a very elaborate gift: a ship in a bottle, _with_ water!

_"Mothman to, from Dark Booty,"_

(For some reason, the fish always reversed the order of the recipient and the word, "to".)

_"Secrecy, protection, enabled,"_

(This meant that they had to begin Swollen Eyeball procedures to protect oneself, other members of the Swollen Eyeball, and to be absolutley secretive about everything.)

_"DON'T be a fool!"_

(This last line was somewhat unusual, but Dib figured he was just worried for him, since he was the youngest member.)

_"Dark Booty, done with."_

(This meant that the message was over, not that Agent Dark Booty was dead or something. For reasons of security, the ending had to sound like this. They also ommitted the word, "Agent".)

The fish were very okay with their use in this way; for some reason, the Swollen Eyeball had agreed that talking fish and merfolk would be one of the last paranormal creatures they exposed to the world; simply because people would exploit them too much. Giant fish-bowls with mermaids in them were a very great fear among the merpeople, and for good reason!

The only part the fish would complain about was the trip through the garbage, to be shipped out on garbage barges, only to be retrieved by trained pelicans and seagulls which the merpeople used. And, if someone didn't put the cork back on the bottle tightly enough, they could lose their water -or, worse, their life!- if they were knocked out of it. So, everyone had to take care to put the cork in tightly enough.

0

* * *

0

About five days later after he'd gotten that call from the Resisty, Dib stumbled upon a link. A neat little web-link hidden within the ads-listing on a random site. Dib clicked on it, and was amazed at what he found: a real-live, most-likely-actual psychic!

Calling up Tak on the psychic-link excitedly, he explained his find: 'It's some place in the Arid-zona mountains! But what's cool about it, is this lady's so old, she only has one phone-number listed, and it's a lan-line!' Then, laughing, he said, 'This link wasn't even put up by her, at all! It was listed by a long-time client who was irritated that she wouldn't advance with the ages! It's _perfect_!'

Tak could understand why he was so excited, but why was he excited that she was _old_ and wouldn't advance with technological progress? 'Dib, shut-up for a minute,' she replied, trying to get his attention.

'Wh-what?' He asked, sobering up from his excitement.

'Why are you so sure that it's "perfect"?' She asked, calmly this time. They'd seemed to have developed some kind of repore since their last adventure -"starting over" seemed to help a lot.

'It's because, psychics used to be looked down upon because they were also accused of cavorting with spirits and using magic; since recent times, though, science-fiction has caused people to make a distinction between mind-based abilities and demons. The older the psychic, the more likely they are to be the real thing; since in the past, the only way to hear of one was through word of mouth.

'They'd rarely ply their trade publicly unless they were in a circus or other traveling entertainment group. They also want to make sure that their clients are high-paying, and willing to make a deal. Word of mouth works much better in achieving this, since rich people will usually travel in the same circles. You get it, now?!' Dib finished excitedly, hoping his explanation was enough.

'Okay, alright; I suppose it's worth a shot,' replied Tak with a hand to her head. Though they couldn't guarantee it, they'd had worse false-alarms before, and this one had all the markers of a verifiable psychic. At least, according to the resident "Paranormal Investigator".

'Alright, cool!' Exclaimed Dib excitedly. 'I'll call her -oh! I'd better use your ship, just in case the Men in Black are tracing the call!' He was bouncing in his chair, he was so excited. He almost couldn't keep from shouting, "WHOO-HOOO!"

'Alright, alright!' Replied Tak, hoping he'd stop hopping around excitedly in her head. 'Just where _is_ she located, exactly?'

'Oh, it's not listed; we'll have to call her to find it out!' Then, hopping up on his knees and spinning his desk-chair around, he whisper-shouted, "Wheee!"

Sighing, Tak thought, 'Well, we've had less to go on, so, tell me how it goes!'

'Right-eo, Captain!' Replied Dib in a rather silly manner, his excitement certainly getting the best of him.

Cringing, Tak thought, 'GoodBYE!' Before taking off the necklace.

0

* * *

0

The little old lady turned back to her cat after talking on the phone. "Did ya' hear that, ol' Biddy? Looks like we got another prospective client~! Yee hee heeee! More money for the ol' biddy, eh, kitty?!" She laughed until she squeaked, then got up. The prices were high for a reason; and another prospective buyer meant another year's worth of money! She could afford to only have a few clients, if this kept up.

"And that stupid grandson of mine said that I needed to move with the times~! Hah! I make more money than he does the entire year!" She laughed again, "Oh, but not too much, of course~!" The little kitty meowed as she pet it. "Come this time tomorrow, we'll be havin' fish paste and caviar for dinner!" The little kitty meowed in excitement. "Hum, I wonder what that little guy's name was, again...? Dit? Dub? Dip?..." She wandered off to the kitchen to get a little snack for her kitty in celebration.

0

* * *

0

In the morning, at the chilly break of dawn, Tak met Dib over at his house. 'So, how's the "decoy" stuff comin' along?' He thought as they stood in the garage.

'Very well, excepting that there's now several Men in Black agents scouting the place out around the perimeter. I haven't used my hologram disguises to go into or out of the building, but they might notice something's odd with my invisibility. It's hard to pretend to be "air" when you're still physically present.' She replied in irritation.

'Oh, _great_. I figured that you could maybe pretend to be some random kids hanging around there, but maybe that's not the best idea,' replied Dib, grimacing.

'No, there's already enough teenagers and kids running around in there -along with several drug-runners- they've probably already figured it's not one of them.' She pulled out the necklace, disguised as another kind of necklace, out of her Pak and began looking at it. 'You know, it's a shame this thing won't work on them; I want to know what they know.'

'Yeah, I'm sure they've prepared for that; they seem to know practically everything. They've probably already done scans and background checks on all of those guys,' he replied, looking down at the disguised necklace.

'What?' She asked, looking up.

'Let's not show that thing to "Madame Vicious" just yet; I don't know what she'd do if she wanted to get her hands on it,' he replied cautiously.

'Well, _that's _obvious!' She replied, rolling her eyes, then added, 'But it's nice to see you're using your head.'

Knowing that was about as much as a compliment coming from her, considering their past exchanges, Dib said, 'Thanks.'

They hopped into the ship and, using the invisiblity -aka cloaking device- they rose into the air unnoticed.

At least, they'd _hoped_ they were unnoticed. The Men in Black had taken to using X-Scopes, and although Tak's invisibility cloaked most of her body-heat, it didn't shield against those. Stronger than the kind typically available, like the kind Dib had, these could be used at greater distances and had little residual effect -although the ones using them usually wore protective lead helmets. Whatever those helmets protected against, one could only guess; because, technically, the gaps in the helmet _and_ their eyeballs would still be susceptible to the radiation. But, since it's the Invader Zim universe, let's just pretend that it _does_, alright?

These helmets were disguised as plants, so they could hide behind bushes and stuff. Although the city-based ones were disguised as giant rats!

The use of these X-Scopes had meant that they could vaguely track a faint skeletal structure where there was none; watching this skeletal structure go into Dib's garage and then disappear, they almost gave up. Until they got word from the agents around back in the neighbors' yards that there was this strange "whoosh" of air when the garage door opened.

Taking that as their only lead, they had to assume that there was some form of transportation in that garage. But where were they headed?...

It would take another hour of digging to find out; but they had agents all over the country, and it was only a matter of time before they had to make a landing.

In the meantime, Dib and Tak were halfway to Arid-zona by the time the Men in Black figured there was a lan-line call to a certain psychic in the Arid-zona mountains which showed having been recieved; yet there was no way to track it to its origin. Knowing that there had been some talk concerning him and an unkown accomplice searching for psychics, and possibly connected to the necklace they were searching for, they contacted their agents in Arid-zona to find them.

'Dib, something just doesn't add up,' thought Tak as they were flying. Halfway to their destination, it wasn't as if they were hurrying. Why would they need to? And yet, there was something nagging at the back of her mind; she'd been so busy with preparations and other things lately to notice. But why was there this sneaking suspicion?

'What?' Asked Dib, blinking and breaking out of his reverie of observing the dry wilderness far below the clouds.

'The Men in Black have been observing my hide-out,' she began.

'Yes?'

'And yet, even though they have at least as advanced technology as _you_ do, they don't do anything?'

'Well, my dad _did_ say they were called "Tech Stealers" in the scientific community... Yeah, I guess they would have. Why?'

'Then, consider that _you _were going up against an enemy that you perhaps couldn't pin-point: what would _you_ do?' She also wanted to see how good his deduction skills were.

'Well... I guess I would try scanning the area around where I suspected them to -OH!' Then, out loud, "Shoot! Why didn't we THINK of that!?"

'That's _exactly_,' she replied, sighing.

The ship's computer, by now, was used to these two having psychic conversations without it; it just wished it could be included when something important was going down. {What's wrong?} It asked, purely out of concerned interest.

"We think the Men in Black may have been tracking me," replied Tak, kicking herself for not thinking of it earlier.

{What?! But how could they do that? Doesn't your invisibility-field work against most forms of scanners? How could they even see you?!} The ship's computer was clearly shocked.

"We don't know; but considering that the field doesn't protect against _all_ forms of scanners, it might have been compromised," replied Tak.

"You know, I've been thinking... Didn't Zim use some sort of heat-vision to look past your invisibility-field the last time?" Replied Dib thoughtfully.

"That's Irken technology; it's slightly different," replied Tak, "Human heat-vision goggles won't see anything but a vague reading; not enough to be dangerous. Believe me, I've checked. There's some forms of radiation, however, that can get through it."

"Radiation... HEY! Back home, I have a personal X-Scope! It uses a modified version of X-rays to see both organs and bone, depending on the settings." Exclaimed Dib, amazed at his own deduction. "I ordered it from one of my UFO-zines!"

"If even _you_ can get your hands on that kind of thing, then I wonder what kind of technology _they_ have...?" Replied Tak, pondering. Then, suddenly remembering something, she said, "Dib, we need to change our course!"

"What?! Why?" He replied, putting a hand across the controls as she reached for them.

"I remember seeing something strange as I was heading to your place, something like a person with a bush on their head," she replied, strangely patient with him for the intensity of the situation.

"What!? But, wait, what did they look like?" He asked, thinking of all the things he could concerning secret government agents and bushes.

"They were behind a particularly large bush, and they had what looked like a motorcycle helmet on. I only caught a glimpse of them, but I'm pretty sure they were the Men in Black. That, and there have been some random people on the street wearing large rats on their head." She explained.

"Wearing large rats...? I've heard of Head Pidgeons, but Head Rats?! Okay, now it's official: I've only seen ...maybe three people who wear rats on their heads, and they're either street-performers, or hobos! Let's land in Hatu, then think of a plan," Dib pulled his hands away from the controls as he said this. There was no use in fighting over who got to drive while they were in a crisis.

_(A/N: Okay, "Arid-zona" was pretty obvious, but "Hatu" is just "Utah" backwards. Yes, I know...LAZY! *Laughs*)_

"What, why Hatu? That's really out of our way," replied Tak, confused, as she changed coordinates.

"Yeah, I know! That's exactly why we should! They'll be looking all over Arid-zona, and won't even know where we are! Then, when the heat's off, we can head on over to Madame Vicious." Replied Dib, pleased with his conclusions. "Oh! I'd better call her and tell her we're going to be a little late!"

Tak stopped his hand as he reached for the communications button, "But what if they know we're already heading to Madame Vicious?"

"Uhm, what?" Blinked Dib, "I used the ship to call! They couldn't track that!"

"Yes, but Dib!" Tak wrestled with his hands and finally slapped one, "You need to stop and think! That was an _Earth telephone line_, it's something they could easily tap into! _You_ may have used an untracable signal, but what about the recieving end...?"

"Curses! I should've just used a phone-booth..." Dib made a fist, upset with himself for not thinking of that.

"They also know that we've been associated with this necklace; what do you think they're going to do? They were already checking even fake psychics like Madame Porkfundh, so what if they've checked Madame Vicious, too?" She was surprisingly patient with him. Perhaps it was because she was also kicking herself for being too relaxed.

"They've probably already checked; she doesn't _have_ it!" He replied, annoyed with this inquisition.

"Which means that they could possibly already know all about her and who her clients are! They have too much information, Dib!" She exclaimed.

"Then what are we supposed to _DO_!?" He exclaimed, waving his arm in emphasis.

After a moment of silence, Tak replied with a sigh, "Okay, let's go over the facts: They were tracking me to your house -we know that because I've seen them around with those stupid helmets. Next, we can probably assume that they'd notice something when we took off. And finally, they know that we're somehow associated with the necklace; they may even assume that we either have it, or that we know where it is. Oh, and it was possible for them to track the call made to Madame Vicious, although they couldn't track it back to you. Are we clear?"

Dib was calming down, now, "Okay, okay...and so, then we can safely conclude that they're already there, or that they'll be coming after us soon!" Then, after a minute, he remembered their earlier argument, "Okay, so why was it so bad for us to delay in meeting Madame Vicious?"

Realizing that she hadn't really explained it to him, she replied, "Oh, right! Well, it makes sense that if they get to her first, she'll be compromised; so, we have to make sure that we either meet up with her first, or..." she trailed off, and suddenly, she had a thought. "Or...we make sure that the Men in Black won't _be able_ to do anything...!"

"What...?" Replied Dib, confused.

"We've been so blind! We can just take them out!" She smacked her own forehead to emphasise this. If their enemy was getting too close, then they had to turn around and fight back!

"Woah, woah, woah!" Exclaimed Dib, waving his hands, "What's that, you say?! Take them OUT!? I hate to tell you this, but ...I, uh... Gee, I, don't really have anything to say about that...it's...well, I don't really _like_ the idea of taking a human life, but..." he trailed off, realizing that she had a very good point; also, she probably didn't mind the idea of killing aliens. They'd hung out together so long, he almost forgot that simple little fact.

"Yes, of _course_ you don't; but don't worry, they don't seem like typical humans..." she brushed his concerns aside. "I'll probably be doing most of the work; I think you'll work better in reconnoisance." She changed the coordinates once again, back to their previous heading.

"Right. And how exactly are you planning on 'taking them out'?" Replied Dib, deciding his moral dilemma would have to wait, for now.

"I've assumed that a massive shock to the body, or a laser, or any method of blunt-force or piercing in the right places would kill a human," she replied off-handedly.

Cringing, Dib replied, "Uh, yeeaaah...remind me _never_ to get on your 'Kill List'..."

Smiling, Tak said, "Good choice." Before maneuvering the ship into position on the outskirts of a nearby town over Arid-zona, close to where Madame Vicious lived.

The terrain around them was desert; a few bits of mountain still poked up, incredibly high. So high, in fact, the climate was completely different; little oasises were contained within high valleys with small springs and lakes. The stark contrast was incredibly beautiful as they glided downwards.

Down to the foothills of one of those peaks, they flew over a small town. Just a little splotch of spreckled buildings, actually, with roads leading up higher into the peaks, and down, away to the highway. Though the town was still in the arid foothills, it seemed somewhat green. Apparently there was an underground water supply nearby. The higher parts of the mountain looked like they had a freshwater spring or two.

Whatever the case, the small splotches of green in the town were easy to see, and they continued intermittently up, winding along the single road that led to the fresh, green oasises near the peak. They landed in the browned outskirts of this little town; the landscape's carved rocks and cliffs looked so uniform, one could swear it was copy + paste! The ship's being invisible didn't help, either.

It was so uniform, in fact, that Tak even said jokingly, "Okay, now, remember where we parked!"

"Hah hah, good one. Seriously, I couldn't even tell you which craggy rock we parked beside!" Dib said as they walked away from the ship.

Walking into the little town, things became greener, although they still got a good coating of dust as they did so. "Okay, so-!" Dib covered his mouth at his mistake, then thought, 'I mean, what's the point of coming to this town?'

'I _told_ you, we're gonna' take them out,' replied Tak, almost rolling her eyes.

'And how exactly are we gonna' do that?!' Asked Dib incredulously.

'Just watch and learn,' she replied, smirking.

Scrunching his eyebrows up skeptically, Dib followed her as she walked towards a corner store. It was a little "General" Store, and it generally looked like a cross between a gas-station and a catch-all anything store, complete with butcher in the corner. The low, stucco building was light-colored with a couple of dusty windows. Despite the protection from the foothills, the wind still swept dust and dirt everywhere. Walking inside, the temperature rose slightly, although the cashier had a fan on the counter.

Thankfully there was hardly anyone there; and they scoped out the place casually as the cashier, a slightly gray-haired man, stared at them indefinitely. There was a slight bit of drool coming from his mouth, which was slightly ajar: he looked somewhat dead, although he could twitch as he sweated, when the flies flew too close to his mouth. Incidentally, his name was George. Like it said on his name-tag.

Though the place was generally dirty, it at least looked like they tried cleaning it -at least there were no large bits of gunk in the corners, or rats running around. Looking at the different kinds of snacks, Dib considered getting a few, as Tak observed the two customers inside.

One of them looked like a typical teenager; the other one was a little more odd. Though he wasn't dressed any different than the other guy, he kept looking back behind him at the two "kids" who'd wandered in. Tak kept a wary eye on him, both psychically and physically.

'I think that guy's suspicious,' Dib mentioned to Tak as she stood next to him in the candy and snack isle.

'Indubitably. I believe he was told to keep a look out for us,' replied Tak as she looked at a pack of burnt peanuts and winced at the ingredients.

'You mean he was hypnotized or something like with that gas?!' Replied Dib, giving a glance to her.

'Yes. Most probably. Hey, make conversation. I think he's getting suspicious,' Tak mentally hinted towards the cashier.

'Oh! Uh,' thought Dib, looking up, then he said, "I think I want a drink. I'm thirsty." He headed over to the side of the wall with the refridgerators.

'Good, that sounds natural,' replied Tak mentally, then said, "Get me something, too." Giving a quick look back at her, Dib remembered they were "making conversation", and picked out two drinks with a slight shake of his head.

Grabbing a couple of snacks and a doughnut, Dib walked up to the counter to pay for them. "Is that all?" Asked George the cashier, still slack-jawed.

"Uhrm, yes..." replied Dib, wondering what they were going to do about that one suspicious guy. Just then, Tak walked up behind Dib to warn him.

'I see one Man in Black walking up outside. We'd better duck behind the counter.'

'Huh? Whait, I still need to pay for that-!' Dib thought as she yanked him around the corner, "Cheez-it!" He exclaimed.

The cashier had hardly a second to wonder what in the heck the two kids were doing down there, when the Man in Black walked in through the door. "Good morning, Sir. Could you please tell me where the two children went who were here a moment ago?"

Tak stared at the cashier's head, implanting a subliminal message not to trust this man. It worked, and he eyed the man in the black suit carefully before saying, "I don't know, why are you lookin' for a couple of kids, anyways?"

"I was looking after them, but they ran away from me. Now, please, Sir," the Man in Black stared the cashier down.

'No, no! He's not! He doesn't look anything like it!' Tak was telling the cashier in his brain.

"Well, I don't know about that. There's plenty of other places -the park's just down the road, there. Why don't you go take a look at that?" This man seemed good at avoiding questions, and seemed to have an inherent mistrust of the IRS. Two things Tak was hopeful she could exploit. But, just when she was going to implant another subliminal message, the Man in Black made his move.

Pulling out a small can of something, Tak realized this was probably the mind-swaying drug they'd used before. Dib had been peeking around the edge of the counter, and thought, 'Hey, that's the spray!' Then, without waiting for any agreement from Tak, he jumped up and turned the fan towards the Man in Black, just as he pressed the nozzle to spray.

The fan was on high, and the spray flew back harmlessly at the Man in Black, surprising him. "Hey, what was that?! You tryin' to do something to me!?" Exclaimed George the cashier, stepping back. Picking up on this panic, Tak used a new approach.

"Help! Don't let him take us!" She whispered loud enough for him to hear.

Dib, naturally already nervous, just nodded emphatically and agreed, "Yeah!"

Good ol' George then pulled out an old shotgun and aimed it at the Man in Black, "You don't look like no baby-sitter to ME! Get out! OUT! An' don't come BACK!" The Man in Black just clicked his teeth and mumbled something under his breath before grabbing the muzzle of the gun and squishing it.

Yelling, the man said, "MY GUN!" as Tak and Dib made a run for it. Deciding they had the right idea, the cashier ran as well.

They didn't stop until they were well down the street and down an alley. Gasping for breath, George the cashier asked them, " $%#*, what'd those guys _want_?!" Tak was a little irritated that he'd followed them, but perhaps he'd provide some safety and cover as they worked the next part of their plan?

Thankfully, Dib had already picked up on her idea and replied, "They kidnapped us! Those guys!"

"Yeah," agreed Tak, "We escaped and were trying to find our way home, when they found us again! We just want to go home...!" She added this last part with a small amount of moan. Dib was impressed at her acting skills. The "pity vibes" she was sending him mentally didn't hurt, either.

"A kidnapping-ring!" Exclaimed the cashier George with honest concern, "_That_ changes everything! 'Come on, I'll take you to the police!"

Tak and Dib looked at each other with shock, wondering if that was such a good idea. Surely they'd be noticed by the Men in Black, a government organization who obviously had some control over the local authorities, if they just waltzed right in there. But, the cashier guy wasn't paying any attention to them as he headed back down the alleyway.

'You _know_ we can't follow him,' thought Dib as he turned to look at Tak.

'Well, DUH!' She replied, returning the look. 'We should take this opportunity while they're confused to get out of here!'

'You mean to the Psychic's, Madame Vicious?' He asked.

'Yes. Now let's get going!' She thought as she started off in the opposite direction that the cashier went. She was headed towards the mountain peak.

'Hey, wait a minute!' He thought as he grabbed her arm, 'We need to warn Madame Vicious; just in case!'

Blinking and thinking for a moment that if she was a psychic, she would know if something dangerous was coming for her, Tak sighed and replied, 'Okay, but make it quick! And make sure they can't trace the call.'

'Oh, yeah, that's why I was going to use a pay-phone,' replied Dib quickly as he ran off to find the only one in town they'd passed on the way to the gas-station.

'I'll meet you at that red house next to the road that leads up the mountain,' thought Tak as he ran off on his single-minded quest.

Sneaking back to the pay-phone without anyone noticing him was no easy task, and to his credit, the Men in Black only noticed him once he'd entered the old-fashioned, glass booth. Of course, the glass was covered in dirt and scraped up from gravel flying at it, but it was relatively see-through enough that one could tell who was in it if they got close. And one agent did just that; although he couldn't get there in time to read his lips.

'_Please_ don't be broken, please, please!' Thought Dib as he entered the booth. Checking the wire and dail-tone, he exclaimed, "Yes!" before dialing the number he'd easily memorized. The phone rang twice before she answered it.

"Madame Vicious speaking," said the little old voice on the phone. Apparently she didn't advertise randomly; a good trait...most people didn't acquire that.

"Urm! Yes, this is your newest client, Dib," replied Dib as succinctly as possible. He had to get this over with, quickly. "The Men in Black are tracking me and I'm sure they'll be tracing your calls. Can't talk now; we'll be there as soon as we can shake them off! Oh, and, uh...hide!" With that said, he hung up the phone and sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

Looking out the glass door, he felt the strongest, sneaking suspicion that he was being watched. Since he usually didn't doubt his "I think I'm being watched" instincts, he ran in circles around a whole block before figuring out an alternate route to take. This one would cut into his time to meet up with Tak, but at least he could shake them -if it worked, that is.

Tak, in the meanwhile, was running "reconnoisance", in a word. What she was actually doing was exploring the town in a rather haphazard fashion, hoping the Men in Black would follow, and be led right into her trap. But, first, she had to find a place with the most people.

Running by a low building, she looked in the large windows and saw people sitting at barstools, laughing. The sign outside said, "Community Center", but also had a "Bar and Grill" sharing the space. Out back was a basketball court and and tennis court, along with a little sweet park for the kiddies. They also apparently had air-conditioning, as the doors were closed, and everyone looked rather lively. Seemed like the perfect place to have an "unexpected attack by would-be-kidnappers".

But, first, she had to get the Men in Black's attention. Turning around to check if they were following her, she couldn't see any. This had to look legitimate; as if she and Dib were planning something, and they got the drop on her. She also had to do it before Dib reached the meet-point.

Taking a deep breath, she dashed in and prepared herself for an Oscar-winning performance.

0

* * *

0

Back at the Police Station, George the cashier guy, who'd gone to get help when Tak and Dib told him that fake story about a kidnapping-ring, was getting some help from the local authorities.

Technically, he had to find the Sherriff and inform him of it at the Community Center, but the Deputy came along with him, along with a file-clerk. To be fair, he was a very good file-clerk, as well as an officer. In such a small town, they took what help they could get! And in this case, it was going to be the entire town!

But why was the Sherriff at the Community Center, even when it wasn't his day off? Although the Men in Black had "informed" him to be careful of any two little kids, one of them fitting Dib's description, the Sherriff wasn't about to pass up a chance to save some little girl from potential kidnappers! Also, the effects of alchohol seemed to negate the effects of the "mist-spray" they used to hypnotize him with.

This Sherriff had a habit of getting a quick drink in after breakfast, but before brunch. Sitting at the counter in the aptly-named "Community Center Bar and Grill", just half an hour earlier, without warning, the Sherriff of this town with no name-plaques anywhere to be seen, dropped over.

He'd had a small heart-attack, but thankfully the townspeople knew what to do when an over-middle-aged man of some extra few pounds dropped over from a heart-attack whilest downing his brews.

They used chest-compressions to revive him, then gave him half a litre-full of some mysterious concoction that was compiled mostly of caffeine, some vitamin drinks, fruit-juices and spinach, along with just a little pinch of gorannah. Needless to say, it worked wonders with most drunks and all shock-victims. Normally not exactly the concoction after one's revived from a heart-attack, but it worked just as well.

All this being said, just like a REAL MAN, he got back up on that stool and asked for a little of the hair of the dog that bit him. But just beer -he didn't need _too _much more alchohol after that!

Tak burst in through the double-doors, gasping, and made a mad dash for the back. People looked at her, but didn't quite know what to do at that. After a minute, a woman approached her where she hid behind the Juke-box, wondering who she was and what she was doing hiding there.

One of the Men in Black's informants made a call on his cell-phone, and the agents rushed in there just as Tak finished telling her pitiable story to the curious woman. And now the scene was at its peak. The trumpets blasted a shocking note, and the drums rolled as the brass-winds played a dramatic, tension-building score. The strings helped out some, but mostly this was a ringing brass accompaniment.

Not that anyone could hear it, though. That was just for you readers' enjoyment~!

Dramatically pointing, the Man in Black standing in the front said, "COME OUT, WITH YOUR MAJOR MANIPULATOR LIMBS _UP_!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" The Sherriff said, waving his hands, while the rest of the people just gasped and stared. "What's the big problem?"

The four Men in Black who were scanning the room, looking for their prey, allowed a glance at the Sherriff before responding, "One of the suspects was seen coming inside this establishment. We have come to apprehend them."

"What?!" Asked the Sherriff, just as one of the Men in Black's informants pointed to the Juke-box.

"She's over there!"

"Hey, hey! Wait a minute! Just what in the HECK'S goin' on, here!?" Shouted another man at the bar, sitting next to the Sherriff.

"What do you want with that poor little girl?!" Yelled the woman who'd listened to Tak's pitiable story. It also helped that Tak was projecting extreme suspicion across the entire room against the Men in Black.

"The suspect is in here. Sherriff, why have you not arrested them yet?" Asked one of the Men in Black.

"Woah, woah, now wait a minute~!" The Sherriff pulled up his pants and walked up to the Men in Black, saying, "Who are you fellas? And what exactly do you want?!"

The Man in Black at the front looked at him, then turned to look at the bar and said, "The Sherriff has been imbibing alchohol. The spray's effects have been compromised."

"Then this has become more difficult." Replied the Man in Black behind him.

"Spread out and search for the suspect." Said the Man in Black to the first one's right. The two Men in Black in the back moved to do this.

"Hey, what are you doin'?!" People yelled as they started searching.

"Now wait just a minute! I'm the Sherriff in this town-" the Sherriff started to say, walking up to one of the searchers, but they pushed him away and he fell flat on his back.

"*GASP*" Random people started shouting.

"HEY! He's the SHERRIFF! You can't do that to him!" There was an instant of anger that flashed in the townspeople's minds, and Tak played on that, accentuating it and heightening the sense of injustice. The fact that he'd just overcome a heart-attack didn't hurt, either.

"They attacked the Sherriff! Get 'em!" Shouted another person, and the entire group of normally relaxed townspeople turned violent.

The fight echoed outside, with occasional shouts giving evidence as to what happened. "Hey! They crushed my shotgun!" .. "They can't be hurt!" .. "I've got the butter and the cool-whip!" .. "Hey, has anybody seen my boxing...gloves...pool...balls...?!" .. "I've got a booger on my finger!" .. "And it won't come off! ".. "Shoot 'em where it hurts!" .. "They got no nads!" .. "What!?" .. "Go, Nads!" .. "Brains! Oh, my brains!" .. "I got a kitchen knife!" .."Yeah!"...

Eventually the sounds of chaos were broken by one severely loud, shocking cry: "Whoo-HOO! Score one for mah Grandaddy's Tamohawk!"

And, just as the cry implied, there stood one of the Men in Black, with a tamohawk impaling his head. The head sparked, showing circuitry of some kind, but blood itself flowed from the wound. "Okay, guys! Now we know how to kill 'em!" The Sherriff's best friend cried, and the others grabbed their sharpest, heaviest objects and aimed for the cybernetic freaks of natures' heads.

Tak, in the meanwhile, decided to take this chance to escape. With the Men in Black on the defense against the angry townspeople who now knew how to take them out, she could easily slip past, unnoticed. Especially with her invisibility shield on. Smirking, she gave a swift glance around, before heading off to the brilliant red house which marked the meeting point for her and Dib.

Upon reaching said meeting-place, she said mentally, 'Okay, Dib, you can come out now,' since Dib was nowhere to be seen, although she could easily sense his consciousness.

'Oh, good! I was wondering how long I'd have to wait,' he thought, as he squeezed up and out of some pipe on the roof.

'Ulgh!' Thought Tak as she waved her hand at the ashes falling off of him, 'You smell like smoke!'

'Yeah, that's an old chimney-stack,' he thought as he dusted himself off.

'How'd you even FIT in there?!' She asked, thinking his head should've stuck out like an odd decoration.

'Oh, that's nothing -I've squeezed into tighter spots that _that_!' He thought back with wave of his hand and a slight cheesy grin.

'Ohkay, then...' replied Tak as she considered which way they should go from there. 'If we go back to the ship, they'll most likely spot us -well, _you_- so I'll tell the ship to fly over to the mountain road and meet us. I'm also considering another, more active plan to rid ourselves of this pesky "Men in Black" problem,' she finished cryptically as she looked at the mountain with a hand her chin, thinking.

'Of what?' Asked Dib, wondering how in the world they could possibly get rid of them; and also if it would include anyone that he knew. He didn't want to have her going after The Swollen Eyeball.

'I'm going to take them out -not just the ones chasing us- this time, I'm getting serious...' She narrowed her eyes as she contemplated that.

'Ooohkay...I'm just going to have to say, that if it involves anyone I know, I'd rather have you not do-' he suddenly got a shock as her head leaned in towards his, glaring evilly. He gulped and instead tried to calm her down, thinking, 'It-it's not like any of them _work _for the Men in Black, you know, I'm just saying!' Waving his hands innocently, she seemed to back off a bit.

'Even still, it's not like I need your approval for _any_thing,' she replied simply, now turning away. 'And anyways, we need to get moving. I don't know how long that mob can keep them occupied.'

Dib, however, was still on the previous subject, as he chased after her, 'It's not that! It's just that, uhm, we're partners! You know? We should tell each other our plans and stuff! Just to coordinate.'

'Yeah, yeah, I know,' she replied, waving it off, although he couldn't see her hand.

'And- and- besides! ...Wait a minute, did you say, "that mob"? What just happened?!' He exclaimed mentally as they headed up the mountain road.

0

* * *

0

Heading up the mountain road was dangerous. Almost as dangerous as staying in town! Though the ship had met them there, it was apparent that they needed to disable the Men in Black's own systems -tracking, communication, and scanners- in order to move freely.

They decided to take the ship most of the way up the mountain, but then have the ship take care of the Men in Black's systems itself -it would also provide aerial fire-power if they needed it, like if they were backed into a corner. Or if the mountain collapsed. But that last part was highly unlikely.

They hopped into the ship and flew up to where the plants got greener and more diverse; at a crook in the road just before it reached its end at a small cottage, they jumped out and left the ship to its work. Meanwhile, they continued up towards the cottage.

'Watch out here; there's some mud on the slope,' mentioned Dib as they walked up the road. Just after he thought this, his foot slipped on the slick alkaline mud, and sent them both tumbling down into a ravine. "Talk about your irony...!" Mumbled Dib as soon as he pulled his head up from the rocky stream it'd been imbedded in.

"Uuuhhh!" Moaned Tak as she pulled herself up from the thorny branches of a wild-grown rose bush. The mud caked to her body started to soak through the fabric of her outfit and burn. Sneering, she grit her teeth as she bore through the pain. She'd have to get her spare clothes from the ship later.

After pulling himself out of the rocky stream, Dib turned to look at Tak. She'd turned off the invisibility field so she could see herself. "Ulgh! Look at this, we're covered in mud!" He tried to brush the mud off. Looking up, he saw the pained look on Tak's face as she also tried to brush off the mud. She'd gotten more mud than he had. "Here, let me help," he said in a random display of chivalry, finally remembering what happens when Irken skin hits water.

"I'm fine!" She sneered, but didn't stop him from trying to brush the mud off.

"You know, Zim coats his body in paste to keep from burning when he gets wet; it doesn't work with meat or pollutants, though..." he mentioned, using the edge of his new jacket to help sop up the mud.

Tak looked at him incredulously, before stating, "I'm _not_ going to use something like _paste_ to coat my body!"

After finishing doing what he could, Dib replied, "Heh heh, yeah, I know: that sounds gross, anyways." He stood up and tried to find some leaves to wipe his hands on.

"However, since I didn't expect to be thrown down a muddy slope, it might be a good precaution... I usually used a force-field for the rain, but...-!" Suddenly stopping and looking around, antenna perked up, she thought, 'We've been delaying! And talking out loud...'

Dib's head whipped up and he surveyed the surroundings. Although he couldn't see or hear anything, he had the feeling that Tak could. At the very least, they needed to run as fast as they could. 'I vote for running! Very, very fast.'

Tak looked at him levelly, but simply thought, 'It's okay; just climb out normally, and then we'll increase our speed once we get up the road. It's just a slight feeling; it's probably nothing...perhaps.'

'And then we run?'

'Yes. Very, very fast.'

They both dashed at the side of the ravine, pulling at tree-trunks and branches to get up the slick side, before finally reaching the top. After that, they walked quickly back to the road, and then broke out into a run once they found a dry enough part of it.

By the time they reached the cottage, they were running all-out, and, dashing up to the door, they didn't even deign to knock before rushing inside and slamming it shut behind them. It was strange that it was unlocked, but they didn't think anything of this as they stood, gasping for breath, pressed against the Madame Vicious' front door.

"...Well, well, well...!" Came an aged voice from an ajacent room.

Both Dib and Tak looked up, shocked, but relaxed a bit as they saw who it was. Coming around the edge of a doorway at the end of the room they were in, was a little old woman. They looked as she wandered in and grabbed onto her chair which sat in front of a work desk with thousands of papers and different things on it. Clutching the back of the chair tightly for balance, she glared them both down before finally speaking again.

"You two sure caused a ruckus. And what's all this business with calling me up, telling me that the Men in Black may be onto me!" She turned the chair around to sit in it.

"Uhm," said Dib, looking back and forth between Tak and the old woman before she started saying that he was a big-headed idiot.

"What do you take me for, some sort of child?!" She exclaimed, slamming a foot down. "I know how to take care of myself! I've lived 80 years so far without being taken in by those bolts!"

Dib and Tak looked at her curiously as she said this, and also at her cat, which had silently appeared and sat upon a cushion in a cardboard box next to her desk. "Don't you mean, 'dolts'?" Asked Dib, feeling that familiar feeling that the cat's eyes were on them.

"No, no! Bolts! BOLTS!" Replied the woman, stomping her foot with each mention of the word. "They're some sort of mechanical man -a horrendous mixture of mechanics and flesh- ah, no offence," she added this last part with a glance at Tak.

Tak had activated her hologram and currently looked like an ordinary human girl with blue-jean-colored hair and purple eyes. So when she'd said that, Tak gave her good long look. "Oh, yes, don't look at me like that: I have psychic powers that are far more advanced than yours. I can keep an eye out on things around me with my mind. I can also keep what I like to call a, 'Partial Perception Field' up around my house when things get bad. So no one will even think to come here."

"Uhrm, Madame Vicious," said Dib, stepping forward, "We'd _really_ like your help with something."

"Ah, yes -psychic powers. You mentioned something about wanting 'instruction'. Well, well, let's have it." She waited a minute as the other two looked at her, then at each other, then back again. Sighing, she said, "There's no use hiding anything, I can sense a psychic-enhancing thing when it's near!"

Warning signals were going off in Tak's head, but she tried to turn them off as she carefully said, "That's not what we're here for. We want instruction. That's it."

"Well, there's no 'we' in it! His head's just about as thick as it is big!" Dib groaned as Madame Vicious said this and rolled his eyes. "But you look like an intelligent person -much more so than big-head- so I'll comply." Then, turning around to her desk, she started writing something and using a calculator. Finally, after what seemed like an interminiable amount of time, she turned back around and said, "Will this be cash, or check? ...And I warn you -I can't do Credit Cards."

"Uhm!" Dib started searching for his wallet.

"It'll be cash," Tak replied for him.

Raising her eyes approvingly, she said, "Oooh!" before turning back around and getting an old tin that had a lock on it, although it looked absolutely worthless. The best place to stash some cash. The money was handed over to her -she had a set rate for these sorts of things- and she stuffed it inside with a little snicker, mumbling something about "Professor Membrane", and "rich children".

The other two watched this, but otherwise did nothing. After she'd finished taking care of the payment, she turned back to them and regaled them with the "proper procedure", as she called it.

Leaning over to a basket, she reached down and spread a round cloth on the floor -it was made from Alpaca wool, and it smelt like mothballs. Motioning for Tak to join her on the blanket, she gave Dib the cold shoulder as she continued to explain to Tak. Dib took the time to pull out his tablet and take some notes, without even asking permission. No one seemed to mind this, though.

"Now, I'll assume that since you've had that, eh, 'thing'," she neatly side-stepped even mentioning the word "necklace", "it hasn't tried to explode your head?" Tak nodded and she continued, "Or caused you to have bad dreams or nightmares, or even have headaches?" Tak confirmed this wasn't so, and she continued once again, "But it hasn't even been glowing strange colors? Like, oh...blue or red?!"

"No," said Tak, shaking her head.

"Well! Then I'm impressed! It seeems it must like you!" Madame Vicious leaned back, looking rather satisfied. "I must say, that even if I'd tried to take it, I couldn't make use of it unless it liked me. But, one thing I'm wondering about, is how you got it in the _first_ place...?"

Feeling her prying questions nagging at her head, Tak replied, "Does it _really_ matter where I got it?!" While briefly she gave a mental look at Dib, who was sitting backwards in Madame Vicious' desk chair.

Pouting like her fun balloon was popped, the old woman replied, "Oh, come on! Please indulge an old woman's curiosity! And, after all, I couldn't take it in the first place!"

"But you could talk," replied Tak.

Madame Vicious' small mouth slowly stretched into a smile as she said, "You are very wise; but I'm afraid that since I have seniority, I also have much better control over my psychic powers. And any small thought you may have directed at somebody in my presence could possibly be overheard."

"Then could you repeat what it just said?" Asked Tak, regarding her evenly. This was now like a poker-game -a test of wills and lies.

"Now here's the interesting part: while I could easily tell that it was more like a look towards them instead of any actual words, I also can read _his_ mind as well." She leaned back a bit as she looked up, "Isn't it amazing? While he's so bad at most things requiring common sense, this time he was thinking, 'I wonder what she'll do if she finds out that I'm the one who gave it to her?'" Then, leaning her head back to look at Tak again, she said, "Isn't that right?"

Giving a look over at Dib now, who was face-palming for being such an idiot, she said, "Yes. Yes he is." She turned back to look at Madame Vicious, "But right now, I need to learn how to control my psychic powers. And I need to learn it THIS INSTANT."

"Alright, alright; hold your horses!" Replied the old woman with her hands up, "*Sigh* Whatever happened to patience?!"

"I'm not _impatient_, but I'm running out of _time_," replied Tak succinctly. She didn't need to be telling her too much information: and yet, even with her PAK's dampening field which naturally kept psychic beings from prying into an Irken's mind, she was having a hard time keeping this woman out of it.

Realizing that Tak was not the right person to tick off -because, frankly, she wasn't worried about killing an old woman- Madame Vicious sighed and agreed to hurry it up. "Relax: try to calm yourself. Complete control is necessary if you're to use your psychic powers."

Tak opened an eye as she practiced the relaxation exercise and said, "I don't normally have a chaotic mind."

"No, and that's uderstandable;" stated Madame Vicious, also opening an eye, "But that doesn't mean that it's not necessary to learn it. Now, this might require reciting some things you already know, so please be a bit patient."

Tak sighed and closed her eyes again. 'This isn't going to be just a few minutes. Dib, you'd better do something _quietly_, like counting.'

Frowning, Dib, who'd been staring intently at them and taking notes, turned around in the chair and amused himself by trying to have a staring contest with the cat, while eavesdropping on their lesson.

"Now, try and focus on your surroundings. Sense the minds around you. How many are there?" Said Madame Vicious.

"Two." Replied Tak, easily.

"Try again. There's more than just ours here."

Reaching out, Tak stubbornly tried to focus on what was out there. She tried extending the reach out past the mountain top, but Dib's constant staring contest with that cat was annoying her. See, cats don't like eye-contact. But he just kept insisting on trying to beat its incredibly long staring ability. Pretty soon she was annoyed by it and starting thinking about that. Then something occurred to her.

'The cat has a mind as well! Dib's annoying that cat has been useful, afterall!' Smirking, she said, "There's three in here." Then, after a moment, she sensed outside and said, "And several small animals outside...they're flitting around, so they might be birds..."

'Good, good! Now you're getting it! Anything with a mind should be something you can sense.' Madame Vicious said mentally. Then, her mouth widened into a grin and she said out loud, "You're progressing well; your amount of mental control is good. Next, you'll have to increase your range. By doing this, you'll also need to keep track of the amount of minds. You may feel a bit overwhelmed as you do this. You also will sense many insects as well. Try to keep your focus."

Tak did as instructed, but this time sensed far more minds than she'd expected. 'That must be because I wasn't looking for it.' Madame Vicious smiled as she heard this. Tak focused harder, trying to log all the overwhelming information. Some of it was unnecessary, but she tried not to block it out. Curiously, she decided to try identifying what kinds of animal life or sentient life they were.

It was sort of hard, but eventually determining their species became simply a matter of determining what they were engaged in at the time. Rodents and other ground animals usually were close to the ground, and engaged in digging or feeding on things in or near the ground. The birds were difficult to pin-point, but since they were flying around, it became apparent what sort of minds were theirs.

The cat was a rather different matter; it wasn't engaged in anything, but rather was intent upon watching those invaders who were "guests" in its house. After focusing, however, Tak realized that this was in fact a territorial instinct. By accustomizing herself to the difference in their instincts, she found that she was able to recognize different kinds. There wasn't enough difference to tell species, however.

It was then that she started to notice Madame Vicious' very subtle use of her psychic abilities. Within a rather large radius, she'd almost subconsciously put up a field of "unimportance" which permeated the area. This didn't mean that the Men in Black would be affected by it, however, as she noticed some of them heading up the mountain at a speed suggestive of some sort of vehicle.

Opening her eyes, she said to Madame Vicious, "Your psychic field won't work with the Men in Black. They're heading up the mountain." Dib's head perked up suddenly.

"You mean they're coming?! HERE!?" He exclaimed, jumping up to look out the window.

"They've sheiled their minds?! In what way?!" Asked Madame Vicious eagerly. "I've never heard of anything that can do that!"

"As far as I know; but I don't know how. It's not unlike the product of Irken technology, but I'm not sure if it could be pierced with more powerful psychic abilities -like yours. It seems they're part cybernetic, so perhaps this affect their brains, as well. Perhaps it's even included in their design."

"I don't see anybody yet," called Dib, not caring if he was interrupting the conversation. But he knew Tak heard it, because she mentally shushed him.

"You're part cybernetic as well; couldn't you affect it somehow?" Asked Madame Vicious, as always a quick thinker.

Tak shook her head, "I'm not sure. I wasn't powerful enough to even read their minds before -just how could I manage to do it now? I haven't had enough practice." Madame Vicious nodded with understanding. "But _you_ could. Perhaps you could break past their sheilding as you did with mine," she lowered her head as she said this, giving her a good stare-down before saying, "I think maybe you could do it."

But Madame Vicious simply shook her head, "No, I'm afraid I won't try. Please, keep in mind that it's not because I doubt my ability," she added this as Tak seemed to protest. "But, I'm unwilling to do something which could put us in danger. If they can protect their minds from psychics, then perhaps they can also sense when one breaks through their barrier? That's what I'm concerned with."

"I see." Replied Tak succinctly, realizing that it wasn't the best plan in the first place.

"Yes, but I have a much _better _plan for them, here -no doubt about _that_!" She gave a mischievious smile as she thought about it. "Yes...I believe the mountain can provide us with the best protection..."

"I've also put a plan into action," replied Tak, deciding to pool their efforts. "It involves unraveling these 'Men in Black' from the ground up -first off, taking out their communications. Whatever they use for tracking comes next, as well as their scanning devices. I've got my ship up there right now, taking care of that."

"Oh, yeah! I'd better contact the ship and see what's up!" Exclaimed Dib, pulling up his communicator-watch. He'd rigged it to connect with the ship, just in case he needed it. The other two, though, seemed lost in their own little world.

Madame Vicious had now realized what kind of alien Tak really was. She wasn't going to need much help in her current endeavor: just some assistance in learning to control her psychic abilities. Swallowing, (but only because she felt some snot in her throat,) she said, "I see that I'll only need to help a little bit. You can do these things on your own. But, may I ask, why exactly do you want to take out an entire government organization? Like the Men in Black?"

Tak just shrugged, "They were being violently annoying." Her eyes revealed a hint of humor at this, and Madame Vicious relaxed just a bit.

"And then we'll have to finish this little 'control' lesson afterwards," continued Madame Vicious cautiously.

"Yes, that'll be alright."

Looking up, Madame Vicious said to Dib, "Hey, boy! Hurry up and get me my steppin' stool -I have to get up." Looking around, Dib found it by her desk and hurriedly placed it beside her.

"By the way, I contacted the ship, but no answer," stated Dib after getting the step-stool. "Maybe the signal's blocked? You'd better try it to make sure." Tak nodded to this, then watched with interest as the unbearably painful process of standing up began. Old age was fascinating to a species like hers. Not that they didn't have some process of dying...just differently than normal.

Madame Vicious leaned on the step-stool and finally got upright again. "Phee-ew! I may be set for life, but I still got this old body to live with!" Tak smirked a bit at this.

"Well, I'll go 'round the back and get a view of the area from my little vantage-point. They're only halfway here, that should be enough for me to make a rock-slide in the right spot. There's plenty of unstable rocks around here, don't ya' know?" She winked as she said this. "They even have signs put up...!"

"Then, I'll contact my ship and see how the disabling of the Men in Black is coming," replied Tak. "Hopefully, only Dib's communicator is malfunctioning." They weren't speaking psychically, but it was apparent that their minds were on the same track. "Once their communications are down, it should be pretty easy to isolate and mislead them."

"But!" Madame Vicious held up a bony finger, "Don't underestimate them! They'll have many other ways of communicating!"

Smirking, Tak said, "That's usually what I'm always saying to _this_ thick-head, here!" She guestured over her shoulder at Dib, who was eagerly peaking out the door to see where her "vantage-point" could be. Dib looked up, but just pouted. He didn't care much about insults right now, anyways.

Smirking and actually smiling at this, Madame Vicious said with a laugh, "Yeah! _That's_ something he needs to learn immediately! Before hi-skool, preferrably." Then, as if an afterthought, her expression dimmed and she said, "By the way, would you mind if I asked, what exact kind of work you're engaged in?"

"It's nothing like that," replied Tak, sensing what she was worried about, "I'm just here to apprehend or even kill a horrible little threat to my own empire. That's all."

"'A horrible little threat to your own empire'? All the way out here?!" Asked Madame Vicious, sensing that Tak was from a lot farther away than she could even imagine.

"Yes," replied Tak, "Even though he was exiled here, it seems his actions can still affect our own people." The report about that "Backseat Drivers" incident flashed through her mind. "That makes him _everyone's_ enemy."

Even with just this little hint, along with Dib's -very loud- recollections of all the things said person did, Madame Vicious had a feeling that even though she didn't want to, she shouldn't interfere.

They, instead, focused on their own plan of getting rid of their mutual problem, the Men in Black who were coming up the mountain right then.

Afterwards, however, they would continue with the psychic instuction. And maybe even eat cake, too!

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The next few hours were extremely eventful. Tak and Madame Vicious' plan had gone off without a hitch; Dib even added some useful things to it, surprisingly, and in the end, -after Tak's promised additional "psychic training"- the two conspirators stood atop the mountain, surveying the damage.

"I still can't _believe_ you turned an _ENTIRE_ TOWN against the Men in Black!" Dib said as he looked down the mountain road.

"Well, _they_ were the ones who started it!" Smirked Tak, thinking about how it wouldn't have worked nearly as good if the Sherriff hadn't just had a heart-attack, as well as bad balance.

As well as replying, Dib just shook his head and smirked. He didn't feel like showing it, but... He was _REALLY _impressed.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: In order to keep people from mistaking these Men in Black with the popular movies, I make sure not to use any acronyms when typing their group's name. This makes it more annoying for me, but hopefully less confusing the the rest of yous~!

WHAT OR WHO THE HECK IS TOPI!?: Are you confused with that little into into a strange dimension~? Well, it's obvious that it's a place where many things that were lost, are found.

However, Topi himself is a character who I made up and introduced on my Deviant Art account. Since it won't allow links in here, and it's annoying to try getting around that, just go to my Profile page, and you'll see the link near the top! Then go to my DA gallery and type "Topi" into the gallery search-bar. It'll show up; don't worry about that. In the meantime, I'll just give you a brief summary:

Topi was involved in an ancient Irken experiment with trans-dimensional travel. However, it went horribly wrong, and he was trapped for many years. Over a hundred years, in fact. But time passed differently in different dimensions. By the time he was able to return to his home, people had changed, died, and moved on.

Because of a missed chance to help someone on the road to his home, he decided, instead of despairing, that he would help any travelers he could, whenever he could. He also makes sure no more dimensional experiments are conducted, as much as he can.

The definition of a "dimension" is rather vague compared to "universe". It's not clearly well-defined enough, and it can involve any number of different things, from simply a concept of length and width, to the passage of time, to perhaps a more unexplainable, even spiritual, level. The point is that the "dimensions" in this story usually refer to the last one -an unexplainable, vague conception of another space which perhaps has unknown physics. Simply, it could be anything. Well, almost.

THE IZ-WORLD'S "FRANCE": I thought I'd add this little tid-bit here, since it's rather funny~!

In the episode, "Chickenfoot", where Professor Membrane is giving those world-leaders a tour of his house, and they all laugh at Dib, you can see each of their flags represented on their hover-screens. There's a stereo-typical French-looking dude there, and their flag looks like a red and white target! I was reminded of my mom's joke, about pronouncing the name of the popular chain of "Target" stores as "Targe`t", with a soft "g", and silent "t", to make it sound French, and thus fancy. So, that's why I named it Targe`t! *Laughs* Fancy...!

THE SHERRIFF'S HEART-ATTACK:

As for why the alchohol induced a heart-attack, the drug the Men in Black agents use to make people obey them reduces some neural-functions, specifically those used for autonomous thought.

The liver processes everything, and when the alchohol hit the liver, it over-loaded it, inducing instant dog-drunkeness! (This drug is _heavy _on your system without the antidote-spray. The residual effects of short-term memory-loss which Professor Membrane experienced are a natural side-effect.)

This also affected the nerve-functions controlling the heart -typical response to alchohol; one feels more relaxed- and induced a small heart-attack. With immediate treatment, this wouldn't be fatal.

The "pick-me-up" drinks people use for hang-overs and stuff like that worked to provide B vitamins for his liver, along with other stimulants, which helped him to revive much more quickly than one normally would.

And, if anyone with a medical degree is for some reason reading this, I HOPE IT'S RIGHT, I HOPE IT SOUNDS EVEN HALF-WAY PLAUSIBLE!

Hey, I'm a Science-Fiction writer! I _aspire _to plausible~!

Ah! Anyways, that's all for this INSANELY LOOOONG CHAPTER! Look forward to more~! TTFN, R+R! Read and Review, Ta-ta For Now~!


	4. Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard?

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN...STUFF.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Summore stuff, gettin' into the psychic meats now: Just like Rasputin! *Laughs and giggles evilly at that*

I've had some trouble keeping the little plot-bunnies of mine under control. They keep multiplying! But, no worries! Because I've enlisted the help of the Lord of the Plot-Bunnies! And he's doing a very good job in helping me wrangle them...

Lord o' The Plot-Bunnies: *Laughs evilly. Looks mysteriously like Piccolo from DBZ.* MWA HA HA HAAAAAA! *Cracks whip on the ground, causing them to run.*

MES: Mmm... Yup, looks like he's got it under control!...

And MEANWHILE...while we're wrangling the plot-bunnies...

Sorrys, the idea of keeping the Men in Black "mysterious" fell through. They are no longer so mysterious. Pretty-Please FORGIVE MEEEEEES! *Falls onto knees*

*Gets up off of knees* I also had to use some online translator to translate the English into French...so don't yell at me if it seems unnatural or something, because I sincerely didn't mean to butcher the language~! I just wanted it to sound natural in some places before I switched to "translating", aka, not really trying to write it in French!

Things which have been "translated" in this way will be surrounded by *asterisks*. Example: *This sentence has been translated from French or some other language I'm pretending to be able to write in!*

I also pretended to know ancient Mayan. Internets is fun and freee! Sos if you actually know any form of that ancient Mayan language, (even current forms) please correct me!

Also, there's some Zim in this! *Suddenly gets mobbed by the fans* Yeah, yeah, I know! I've been ignoring him of late, but, quite frankly, I couldn't think of anything to do with him~! *Laughs* And it's an Invader Zim fan-fiction~! But since it's mostly about Tak and Dib, it was hard to write all of the "in-between" stuffs, you know? Anyways, you guys should be happy! because the story drags on less when he's there...Okay, not as much, but still!

Alright, I KNOW that the Author's comments are getting long, but still! There's just this ONE little thing you should know: While playing with the ideas for this, I also came across the question of "Time" and more specifically, "Ages". Now, normally, one would see these two things as inter-joined, with time specifying what age something is.

But what if growth and age-rate weren't consistent? What if those were changeable? Wouldn't that mean that a person, although being young, could also be an adult? Psychologically, there's also another question: would a person be mentally mature, as well? These were the questions that I was wrestling with, trying to do this story: I don't like to skip around the truth, and this is a DATR story; they're literally separated so much in age, that it would be hilarious if I could!

Thence, you'll notice quite the constant influence on the stating of the obvious whilest I pull my little white rabbit out of the plotter-hat! *Laughs* Let's just say...it was the obvious and weirdest solution I've ever come up with! ...No, literally, you should see some of my other plot-bunnies I've got lying around, unfinished! *Shudders* Nothing worse than an unfinished plot-bunny!

They're like Frankenstein's little creations, they is...!

*Laughs* Anyways, enjoy the rest of this SUUUPER-LONG chapter!

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**CHAPTER 4: Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard? (Also called: I can't tell you what the moral right now of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.)**

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_...'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that is -"Be what you would seem to be"- or if you'd like to put it more simply -"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."'..._

_-Excerpt from Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland"_

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Flying on the way back from Madame Vicious', having successfully mastered some basic mental techniques and made a sworn enemy of the Men in Black, Tak and Dib contemplated the day's events.

"Okay, and the way those rocks FLEW AT THAT-" Dib was excitedly prattling.

"Okay, I GET IT!" Exclaimed Tak, "Now, shut-up!"

"Oh, come on!" Pouted Dib. He folded his arms and looked like he was staying quiet, but Tak knew that wouldn't last for long.

"Why, oh why, now?" Asked Tak, emphatically grabbing the air.

"What?" Asked Dib, confused.

"Nothing," said Tak, smirking and shaking her head.

"Nothing, huh?" Mumbled Dib, now smirking at this weirdness.

The ship was now circling above the city.

{I'm sorry to interrupt this pleasant silence,} said the ship's computer, pointing out the obvious. {But the base's computer has something important to tell you.}

"Okay, put it through," said Tak, poking a few buttons.

The base's computer sounded just like Tak, so Dib couldn't help but giggle at this. Tak had to elbow him as the computer related the current events. {Emergency lock-down has been initiated. Intruders onto the property have been identified as "The President-man's Government Agents of Investigating and Confiscating Alien and High-level Technology, for the Betterment of Democracy",}

Both Tak and Dib raised "eyebrows" at this.

{Otherwise known as, "The Technology Gluffists", "The Men in Black", "Those Danged Yonkies", "Tech Stealers", "Annoying Government Nitwi-"}

"We know! Skip this part," Interrupted Tak. This little exchange was oddly surreal...

{The Intruders attempted slant-drilling from the neighboring properties to gain access to the base; but that was deterred with simple sabotage to their equipment. The attempts continued, however, in other ways. Low-energy emergency mode has been engaged to avoid detection; however, it is unknown how long it could take to resolve this problem. I request moving me to a safer location until it's resolved.}

Sighing, Tak thought a minute. This was disconcerting. Dib, however, was thinking of something different.

"Hey, don't you own that property? How can they just do that?! Okay, yeah, I know, they're from the government, but still-!"

"I'm an ALIEN, Dib!" Exclaimed Tak suddenly. Dib shut up. "I'm pretty sure it's actually _illegal_ for an alien from another planet to buy and sell property." This wasn't the case for her own Empire, but she assumed it'd be so for such a Xenophobic species. Sighing again, she leaned back, closing her eyes and folding her arms.

"Not really."

Tak opened one eye and looked at him. "What?"

"I said, it's not really_ that_ illegal; I mean, there's no specific law against it. Also, plenty of people buy and sell stuff in other countries; it's perfectly normal, and even encouraged. After all, the world economy depends on that kind of stuff." Dib explained simply.

Opening both eyes fully now, Tak asked, "Then, you think the government wouldn't have a case? Even if I was a 'hostile alien' bent on destruction?"

"Even if you were," Dib smirked at this, "It's not like they'd need any reason to do this! It's what they do! Heck, I remember when those nature preservationists were protesting because of that Splotchy Owl habitat that was in danger of being turned into a mini-mall... Well, technically, all those Sasquatches and fairy-folk did have to move out of there...but I didn't find that out until much later, and-" he continued, babbling again.

Tak just sighed and read his mind to figure out the rest. "Alright, so, even though they didn't have any actual permits to do it, the government performed a thorough search which still yielded no results, although one large, blue-footed puma was captured by them."

"Yeah, he was the slow one." Then Dib glared. "I hate it when you do that!"

"Well, YOU were babbling again! Besides, you didn't _hate_ it three hours ago!"

"That was because it was -it was, 'cause of the moment, and ARGH! Just forget it!" Dib pouted again, turning away.

Tak turned back to the ship's panels to check on it.

{I hate to interrupt this little "domestic squabble",} joked the base's computer over the communications link, {But what are we going to do about the current predicament I'M facing?!}

"I know it's going to take a little while to make a large enough disaster to divert their attention..." Tak was now thinking in terms of arson that was making Dib nervous at the mere mention of the word, "disaster".

"But! I don't think we're the ones who need to cause it!" Dib said suddenly, hoping another plan would find its way into his head. But the only thing that came to mind was quite another kind of disaster... "Hhmm... Maybe we could use Zim!"

"'Use Zim'?" Asked both the real Tak and her base's computer at the same time, and the effect was oddly surreal.

"Yeah!" Exclaimed Dib, now thinking of some shell of a plan. "It just might work: Let's see... Zim was planning on using that biology experiment later this week, with the jellied bones -you know the one," he said this and Tak winced and nodded understandingly, "Well, I'm pretty sure that's going to cause some kind of destruction, and when it does, then all we have to do is be right in the middle of it!"

"You do realize how hard that's going to be, don't you?" Asked Tak, who, while reading his mind, had easily picked up on his skeletal train of thought. "We're going to be trying to move the entire base -MY entire base- WITHOUT the Men in Black's notice, AND we're going to be defending ourselves against Zim, as well!"

"Well, YOU'RE always the one who can make these things work!" Exclaimed Dib, holding out his hands.

"I AM! But what you're saying is still extremely difficult!" Exclaimed Tak, also gesturing.

"Then MAKE IT WORK!" Exclaimed Dib, still holding his hands out.

{Uhm, not to interrupt, again, but I've got an idea...} said the base's computer, still interrupting them.

The two turned to look at the control panel reflexively, although there was nothing on the screen displaying anything at which to look. "What?" They both asked, curiously.

{Well, if the problem is simply with strategy, then perhaps utilizing that "fake base" idea as well in this plan?}

Tak and Dib both looked at each other and then at the panel again. "That's great!" "That sounds perfect!" They both exclaimed in unison.

{Then, I'll add in my two cents as well,} said the ship's computer, who'd been remarkably silent this whole time, (considering it had the personality of a pushy, southern aunt, that's saying something!) {I'll bet that substituting a massive Electro-Magnetism generator where the base currently is will be a horrible "surprise" for those Men in Black! Since they're cyborgs...}

Both Tak and Dib laughed. "That's great!" Exclaimed Tak.

"But, how are we gonna' use the 'fake base' thing?" Asked Dib, still grinning.

{That's the beauty of it -We're going to convince them that we're moving the base somewhere else- that'll be the fake base. Then, after moving the REAL base to the new location, we're going to detonate it! Or something.} The ship's computer explained.

"That's similar to what I was thinking," replied Tak. The unity of thought with her and Dib was thankfully now broken. That was just too surreal to watch! "Except that, instead of having the massive EM generator in the place where the base currently is, we'll have it in the fake base; then, once the Men in Black discover it, they'll get their 'surprise'!" Tak smirked evilly at this thought.

Dib had to admit that he was just a little bit nervous at that smirk...but it was just too fitting to get rid of their enemies like that. "Hey, wait. Even if we do that, won't they still come after us? I mean, they may not know exactly what you look like, but they even know where I live!" He exclaimed nervously.

"I know: that's why I've decided to 'step up' our game a bit," replied Tak easily. Dib had a sinking feeling he knew what she meant. She'd mentioned something about it earlier. "I've decided that they're just too big of a nuisance to ignore. I'm taking them out -NO, you DON'T get a say in this!" She directed this last part of the statement at Dib, who just frowned and stayed silent a bit.

"I don't know HOW you're gonna' do it," he said at last, when he'd finally thought of something to say.

"I know, I don't know how to do it, either," she admitted, frowning a bit as she put a hand at her chin to think, "But I know that if we DON'T do something, we're GOING to regret it!"

"There's no way out of it." Dib stated quietly, thinking they'd have been better off if they had just kept their heads down. The sudden urge to run and hide was rumbling in his stomach.

"Hey, wouldn't your father want to get rid of them, as well?" Asked Tak, easily sensing his feelings and diverting them. "He definitely seems to dislike them enough; maybe he could help us?"

"What? Dad? But what makes you think he'd do that?!" Asked Dib, suddenly diverted to thinking about this confusing subject. "And besides, he doesn't even believe in _aliens_!"

"Not directly! But we could use him to affect them in other ways -perhaps even political?" Tak thought about the different things he could be "pushed" into doing. "He does seem to have enough influence."

"Heh, yeah, but -no, no, wait, I can't let you do it! That's my DAD! I'm not gettin' my family involved! Not unless it's an absolute emergency!" Dib shook his head with his arms crossed, officially "putting his foot down" on this matter.

"Oh, kerflibble-snorch! You're no fun!" Pouted Tak. Then, after a minute, "Well, that seems to be the extent of our devising -for now."

{Then I'll begin preparations for moving. Mimi can help me with anything here. The rest of the plan will have to be carried out in the strictest confidence. We don't want the Men in Black sensing anything unusual is going on.} The base's computer stated, whilest Tak and Dib were mentally planning out who was and who wasn't on the "don't mess with family" list.

{Uhm...then...I'll keep guard over these two, ...I guess?} The ship's computer stated, seeing as Tak and Dib were busy glaring at each other in that way that usually suggested they were having a mental argument. 'I kind-of liked it when they were yelling at each other,' it thought to itself.

Tak was pulled away from her mental tête–à–tête to respond to this. "Oh, okay. Then, we'll work on the rest of the plan later, after we get more information on what's going on -especially with the Men in Black. But in the meantime, I'll need a place to stay." She gave a look over to Dib.

"'To stay'? What fo- Oh no, _oh_ no!" Dib said, shaking his head. "You aren't staying at MY place!"

"There's not much choice," stated Tak in clipped tones.

This continued until they arrived at Dib's garage, by which time it was a moot point.

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Hopping out of the ship, Tak and Dib were still uneasily hashing out the details of her stay.

"Well, if you don't want my dad finding out you're here, then you can't use the guest room. I guess that means you'll have to stay with my sister." Dib said as he jumped out.

Tak gave a wince at that. "I don't think she'll agree to that."

"Yeah, you're right," said Dib, half-smiling, "She _hates_ people coming into her room."

"There are other places, aren't there?" Asked Tak, sure she sensed something of it in his mind.

"Well, there's just the garage and the closet, or the attic." Dib said, picking up a tarp and flapping it out, unfolding it.

"Aside from the garage," Tak said, glaring, "Do either of those places have any sufficient space to them?"

"Nah," said Dib, pulling the tarp over the ship, much to its loud chagrin. "The closet's not that big, and the attic has some of my dad's equipment jammed up in it."

Tak put a hand to her chin and mused over this, "Hhmmm... But I think that equipment sounds good..."

"Ooohhh no you don't! Didn't we already talk about this? No getting my dad involved in it!"

"This isn't involving your_ dad_!" Explained Tak.

{What? I didn't hear any agreement!} Exclaimed the ship, indignantly. It hated being left out of their conversations.

"SHUT-UP!" Exclaimed both Tak and Dib at the same time.

"I'm not going to mess with anything that'll harm your father -I just want to use some of his equipment to keep an eye on the situation!"

Dib sighed. He knew it would seem like he was ceding to her, but he decided to compromise. "Look, you can stay in the attic, but if you mess with any of my dad's stuff, you're-"

"I'm not changing anything," said Tak, holding her hands up, "I just want to see what's going on! I only have my ship, and I can't contact the base too often or the Men in Black will get suspicious."

Dib put a hand on his head, "Okay, al_right_! But JUST THAT! Understand!?"

"Capisco." Stated Tak simply.

This left Dib wondering about her sense of humor... As well as wondering if she had a translation system of some sort that used Italian...but that wouldn't make sense, then, if this was translated... He grabbed his head. Wondering about this was giving him a headache.

The befuddling over with, the two headed into the house. Gaz was sitting on the couch watching something about rivers of fire. And mud. As they shuffled in, Dib still shaking his head and grumping, while Tak contemplated a change of clothes, Gaz spoke up from the other side of the couch.

"Dad's still out, don't know when he'll be back. So don't worry about a disguise unless you're standing in front of a big, open window." Dib looked up, but didn't seem that surprised.

But Tak just had to inquire, "And how exactly did you know that?" She eyed her carefully. Gaz's attention had been on the screen when they'd walked in, and now they were behind her. It was odd she was so in-tune with what was happening.

"Neh," Gaz raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "I know your footsteps. N' besides, Dib's been prattlin' non-stop about that psychic. So when he disappeared today, I figured you guys went to see her. Oh, and by the way, there's some leftover pizza in the 'fridge," she then grinned a bit, unseen by the other two, "I saved you some."

Dib just sighed. The only time she "saved" him pizza was either because she was far too full to eat it -a rare occasion, since she'd usually claim the leftovers, as well- or if they'd accidentally put something like anchovies on it. Anyways, it was something.

"Thanks," he mumbled, then turned to Tak and indicated that he was heading up to the attic. "Oh!" He said, turning around again. "I almost forgot. Tak's staying here because the Men in Black are trying to attack her base. We're planning a big swap-n-swat later this week, so don't worry, she won't be here long."

Tak wondered about the phrase, "swap-n-swat", but decided to save that question for later. Whenever she felt like going through that large head of his to see what it was made of. Dualinium?

"Nyeh," said Gaz, raising an eyebrow, "Does Dad know about it?"

"No, and I don't _want_ him to know! So please keep this a secret, _okay_?" Dib knew that she usually didn't respond to his pleads, but it was still worth a try, anyways.

"Whatever. She's not staying in _my_ room, though!"

"I know, I know, she'll be staying in the attic! Is that okay?!" Dib said this last part sarcastically.

"Sure, sounds good to me." Gaz returned to staring at the cartoon that was now showing on the large TV screen. Then, "Oh, and get me more water, _slave-boy_!"

Dib just glared as Tak laughed at this. "Oh, whatever..." he said, wandering off towards the kitchen. He did end up getting her water with enough threats, but there wasn't anything he could do to keep Tak from snickering. It was times like that he thought he _really_ hated Tak. Hated that he had to work with her.

Though, she really was the most interesting thing he'd come across so far. He'd thought finding an actual alien like Zim was cool -now, he'd found one who's psychic!

This was starting to look like a much better prospect. He'd gotten to use an ancient Mayan artifact, find a REAL psychic, sit in on an ACTUAL psychic training-session (though he was exiled outside when he kept picking up the knick-nacks and messing with them), and he was now involved in a plot to destroy the Men in Black once and for all, which would probably involve or have ramifications for all paranormal stuffs, not to mention that Tak and him had a deal to get rid of Zim... Geeze, maybe his life wasn't so bad, after all?

'Why, thank you for your kind thoughts,' Thought Tak, as she naturally heard what he was thinking about, 'Although, you seem to be forgetting something...' She was referring to the ring which she could use to control him. But he couldn't know this.

'What?! Forgetting what?' Asked Dib wondering what in the world she could mean.

Tak just laughed at this, thoroughly enjoying his torment.

'Hey, come on! What!?' Pleaded an annoyed Dib as they ascended the stairs up to the attic.

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The attic was really more of a crawl-space area in size: at least, that's how much room was left with Professor Membrane's computer-stuff shoved in there. It was unsure exactly what all the things were used for, and there were some ancient Commadore and Macintosh innards here and there. Looked like the Professor was fond of inspecting old technology to see the advancements in computers throughout the years. Either that, or it was some kind of museum to the aged, copper-coated wiring.

The more recent computers, basically a part of the main structure of the house itself, were so closely fused to the walls and beams that it was as if they were a part them. The few scattered innards and covers of older models were around the edges, along with a few cardboard boxes, and some other interesting technology and experiments that the Professor wanted to keep just for old times' sake.

All-in-all, there wasn't really much room left after that, and the ceiling was only five feet high; barely enough room to stand up in confidently -if you were under five feet tall.

The two in question were approximately just small enough to stand up without much difficulty, although Dib's hair tended to touch the ceiling, making him bend down instinctively.

Dib was just wondering how in the heck Tak would take to living up there, when she said, "Hm... This seems good."

"Good?!" Asked Dib, "Are you SURE you haven't been possessed by a spirit or something?" And instantly he realized he shouldn't have suggested she was such an unreasonable person.

"Unlike you," Tak turned to glare at him, "I'm _not_ a whining child; and Invaders are trained to adjust to changing circumstance." The vibes she was directing mentally at him assured him of her ire, although she didn't say it. Then, turning away, she simply stated, "I'll be fine."

"Geeze," said Dib, gulping after getting a head-full of painful thoughts, "You could've at least said it was _irritating_, like a _normal_ person!"

"I'm going to imagine that those words DIDN'T just come from your mouth, Mr. 'Normal' Person!"

Frowning, Dib said, "Point taken," and then turned to go downstairs. "Oh!" He turned back and said, "Don't mess with any of my dad's mementos and stuff; he really hates it when things get out of order..." Tak looked around at the seemingly-scattered stuff and raised an eye and antenna at this. "What? It's a -uh, 'Genius's Chaotic Order', or, something like that? Anyways, just as long as everything's intact I don't really care what you do with it. But it all has to go back where it was before you leave!"

"Fine," Tak sighed. "What are you so eager to check out on your computer?" She asked, reading his mind easily.

"Uhrm! I'm still a little bit worried about my, uh, 'paranormal investigative contacts', so I'm, uh...gonna' do a bit more research!"

"You really shouldn't go anywhere you don't expect the Men in Black to track you to," mentioned Tak, knowing his eagerness usually blinded his mind to the obvious.

"Ur! ...I got it..." Dib realized that he had been about to rush off recklessly on the internet and possibly do something dangerous...! Darn-it! Why was she always this quick to point out his flaws?!

"You're welcome," said Tak, sighing and turning around to look at the room.

"Yeah, well..." started Dib as he descended the stairs to the second floor, "_You_ just be careful my dad doesn't find you here! He doesn't come up here often, but even _still_...!"

"You don't have to take care of _me_," reminded Tak as she took a glance back.

Dib pouted and huffed down the stairs, irritated.

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Hopping up and spinning around in his desk-chair, Dib soon stopped and stared at his computer. "In order to investigate without really investigating...let's see...!" Suddenly he stopped as he saw that he had a 'zing' on his Skippi-dee Doo-da Messenger. Clicking on it, he was pleasantly surprised to see who it was from, and a little curious as to its subject-matter.

Smirking, he read the cute little greeting from one of his cousins...or, whatever relation Pooki was...in Targe`t.

P00KieDd0dAH: Au revoir!

For some reason, she always liked saying the opposite things in greetings. It was funny...sometimes. Although, there was that one time...!

P00KieDd0dAH: J'ai un message pour vous...

Dib raised his eyebrow at this. "A message for me?"

_(A/N: Since even I don't speak French and I'm having to use an online translator for this small bit, I'll stop pretending and say that the rest of it has been "translated" for your convenience~! ...Well, at the very least, for mine~!)_

P00KieDd0dAH: *Madame Pertina Patrina, aka Aunt Patri, said to tell you that she's still waiting to hear your answer*

"Oh, shoot! I almost forgot!" Exclaimed Dib as he typed back.

_(A/N: I also don't know much chat-room speak, and I normally type with proper grammar... So I'll make this as grammatically incorrect as possible! No, wait...)_

M07HM4ND: *I'm sorry! I've had so many things happen lately! I just haven't had time to get back to that!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Well, then, you'd better give her your answer! You know how she gets!... -_-*

Thinking that this meant she just really wanted to see her nephew and niece again, Dib sighed and resigned himself to it.  
M07HM4ND: *Oh, alright! I guess I'll have time early on in the week. But just don't expect me to be ecstatic about it! ...She's creepily nice... /=_=\*

P00KieDd0dAH: *I know, right! Hah hah, she scares even the creepiest of Vampires like that!*

M07HM4ND: *What kind? Transylvanian?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *ALL kinds!*

M07HM4ND: *LOL*

P00KieDd0dAH: *ROFLMBOSHICB*

+++BouledBolodPoissons has just signed in+++

P00KieDd0dAH: *Chewie! Mah main man! How's it going?*

"Cousin Chewie", who'd gained the nick-name "Bolo the Ball of Fish", strangely decided to use it as his messenger-name.  
BouledBolodPoissons: *::Sigh:: not good*

M07HM4ND: *What's wrong?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Shouldn't YOU know?!*

Dib flinched as he realized something. It was about the Men in Black incident. There must have been some other unknown effects stemming from their encounter with them! And since he suspected that Chewie was a werewolf... He should apologize for that.  
M07HM4ND: *Sorry! That whole incident wasn't my fault! They just wouldn't quit following!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Yeah, but it's not that*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Not just that*

M07HM4ND: *What?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *::Sigh:: My school is having a track-meet. I don't want to go*

M07HM4ND: *Why not?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Yeah, you should be able to beat any of those guys, no problem!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *It's clear skies, not cloudy. Full moon...*

Dib always hated suspecting his cousins and not only being forbidden to try exposing any of them, but also not having any proof.  
M07HM4ND: *You know how much I hate you, you know?*

Pooki was such a sweet girl...some of the time. But this time she was.  
P00KieDd0dAH: *Mothy! Think of poor Bolo! You're not the only one with problems!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *You know how I hate full moons! It's irritating, and my clothes got ripped...*

Dib realized suddenly that the Men in Black could be tracing this connection -and Targe`t wasn't that difficult a language to translate.  
M07HM4ND: *Wait a minute, should we talk about this here? What if those '' are listening in?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Nah, we got us a secured connection~! There's some technopaths in Aunt Patri's side of the family...*

Dib blinked. He never knew THIS about that side of the family...  
M07HM4ND: *I'm really confused*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Man, Mothy, what'd you do to make those guys so mad?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Yeah, I wanna know too!*

Dib thought about this. How could he tell them the exact events? Even if they were his cousins -well, no one really knew how Pooki was related, but that was besides the point! He had to make this sound convincing and yet...not mentioning the potentially-dangerous necklace.  
M07HM4ND: *A stupid rumor. I was helping someone with their psychic powers -she's going to help me capture Zim. But they attacked us and we had to defend ourselves!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Oh, right! 'Cause of the Ool Kanik Yaah necklace*

M07HM4ND: *The what?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *It means Heart Learn Love, it's Mayan. It's what we call it*  
_(A/N: Online Translators, don't fail me now~!)_

Dib was now considerably more suspicious. He was learning more and more things about his family that he didn't know before...  
M07HM4ND: *Who's WE?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *::Snicker:: Mothy, you need to come out of the dark! ...But it's our fault, that*

Glaring, Dib angrily typed back.  
M07HM4ND: *You are being annoying! What's with all this laughing and snickering!?*

+++VanLaserie has signed in+++

P00KieDd0dAH: *Oh, good! It's Van!*

M07HM4ND: *You STILL haven't answered my question!*

Van had picked his messenger-name because A: his name is Vannin, and B: he likes lasers!  
VanLaserie: *Woah, what's going on, here?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Nothing! Mothy's just jealous 'cause he doesn't have a hat!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *::Laugh::*

M07HM4ND: *Pooki and Chewie are being annoying! They're refusing to tell me things! But YOU wouldn't know anything about that~*

Dib's cousin, Vannin Von Draginstein the 14th was an amazingly fast typist, almost as fast as Dib. Also, Dib was pretty sure his parents were vampires. Traditional Transylvanian kind. Un-dead. But Van was a normal kid. Not Un-dead. He loved comic books and sucking on a fruit-juice, at any time of day...like a mosquito.  
VanLaserie: *::Nervous::*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Oh, but Mothy's story is SO much more interesting!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Yeah, Mothy! Tell us about your new friend! Who is a girl...*

VanLaserie: *Please! I just got back from a conversation my parents were having about cousin Gertrude!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Who's that?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Shirt-tail cousin*  
_(A/N: "Shirt-tail" cousin, or "Shade-tree" cousin, is a cousin-in-law, basically. Like a brother-in-law or mother-in-law. Not related by blood.)_

Dib sighed. His cousins and Pooki were about his age, but waaay too evasive. It was hard to keep them on a subject if they didn't want to talk about it, and their way of conversing was just so...easy! They had the gift of Blarney! ...Maybe he should take a trip to kiss that stone, too?  
M07HM4ND: *Is talking about this just another way of ignoring the questions?!*

VanLaserie: *Mom and Dad were talking about Gertrude and I getting married one day. I hardly know her! We played together when we were two, and that's all!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Adults are always like that... Plus, you think she's pretty!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Did you tell them how you felt?*

VanLaserie: *POOKI! You promised not to tell!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *I thought it was obvious! Your scent changes when she's around*

P00KieDd0dAH: *I'm sorry! I really really forgot!*

VanLaserie: *That was just once! At the Family Picnic! I told her she looked pretty, that's all!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *It's not like it's weird! It was just a little thing*

VanLaserie: *Of course it was! I hadn't even thought about her since then, and all of the sudden my parents are saying stuff... It's irritating!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Please forgive me, Van!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Simple hormonal reaction. Doesn't mean a thing*

VanLaserie: *Yes, Pooki, I understand. I forgive you*

...  
Dib rolled his eyes as his cousins and Pooki continued on with a conversation about how Van's parents were jumping to conclusions. Again. Sigh~ Parents were like that. Waiting a while for a lull in the conversation, he finally responded.  
M07HM4ND: *I know how you feel. Everybody's joking about my "Friend who is a girl"!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Oh, what's her name again?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *See? It even happens to Mothy!*

M07HM4ND: *You know I can't tell you that!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Why not?*

M07HM4ND: *'Cause she'll get mad! /-_-\\*

VanLaserie: *Isn't she that one that you're trying to help learn how to control her psychic powers?*

M07HM4ND: *Yeah. And it'd work a lot better if I actually had psychic powers, too!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *But you can't! That protects you!*

VanLaserie: *What's she like?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Isn't she the one who found the Ool Kanik Yaah necklace?*

M07HM4ND: *What do you mean "protects me"?*

VanLaserie: *What's she look like?*

M07HM4ND: *I found the necklace*

BouledBolodPoissons: *It keeps people from taking over your mind, duh!*

VanLaserie: *So you gave a girl a necklace? :)*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Irony. Van...What is it you're saying? ;)*

Van couldn't help but tease Dib, and so now he was backing out of it.  
VanLaserie: *It's just an observation!*

M07HM4ND: *She's not what you think, really*

VanLaserie: *What do you mean?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *What is she? I thought she was an alien or something...*

BouledBolodPoissons: *My dad says she smells like an alien. The same kind as that green kid in your school...Zim?*

M07HM4ND: *How could you know that!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Myah~! Pooki's a skilled hacker~! ^w^*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Dad delivered your mail. Remember?*

VanLaserie: *I heard it from Chewie*

M07HM4ND: *I thought that was YOU! ...Wait, you have school...*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Yuh-huh! Dad had to fly out there anyway for a business thing*

P00KieDd0dAH: *But why are you workin with an alien?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *He visited Aunt Patri and decided to take the letter himself. Beroniga and Uncles Bob, Jon, and Vennie went with him*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Don't you want to expose them?*

VanLaserie: *I thought so too*

M07HM4ND: *Apparently the information I had about Zim was wrong. Checked some intergalactic sources and found out he was exiled here. On a fake mission, to keep him out of the way. But he still causes trouble for his people, so she was sent here to eliminate him. She'll be promoted if she succeeds.*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Woahhh! How weird!*

VanLaserie: *But you got permission to do so? I mean, what if she's not really who she says she is?*

M07HM4ND: *I got outside sources. Besides, I can't back out now!*

Pooki had always been enthusiastic about science and learning.  
P00KieDd0dAH: *So you can use Zim to experiment on and prove aliens exist! That's so neat!*

Chewie, on the other hand, had always had an instinctive aversion to the idea of an autopsy or biopsy.  
BouledBolodPoissons: *Bleh! Just talking about this is making my skin crawl! I GTG*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Bye, Bolo!*

VanLaserie: *How'd you end up working with her?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Yeah, spill the beans!*

M07HM4ND: *I can't tell you any more. It's bad enough I'm already talking about this!*

VanLaserie: *Heh heh, yeah, you're always yelling out the truth, but you're pretty bad at keeping secrets!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *That's not true! He's kept the secret about the SEN really well lately!*

Dib paled. He couldn't even believe he was reading some of this.  
M07HM4ND: *Okay, I'm going to leave before I lose what little I have left of my sanity thinking about how you know all this! o\_/o*

VanLaserie: *That's a good idea!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Hello, little Mothy~!*

+++M07HM4ND has signed out+++

Dib leaned back, but couldn't help but glare at the screen. There was one other thing he had to do, first...

VanLaserie: *I've got this really great new comic book*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Really? What's it called?*

+++M07HM4ND has signed in+++

M07HM4ND: *And don't call me "little"!*

0

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0

Dib stumbled out of his room in a haze to the sound of the doorbell ringing; if it wasn't one thing, it was another. And he couldn't very well expect Gaz to open it... That might open a whole can of beans he'd rather just ignore. He had no energy to bother with her silly, random ideas about treating him like her personal servant, like earlier.

Sighing, he said, "Alright, alright, I'm comin'!" as he walked into the kitchen. Stopping to wonder why he went through the kitchen, he shook his head and continued on. Upon opening the door, he was surprised to find yet another fish in a bottle waiting for him.

_Mothman to, from Darkbooty_

_New findings regarding certain mail sent to one of the members._

_Meeting at the required place._

_Mandatory, attendance Thursday, at 13 O' Clock_  
_("13 O'Clock", that mysterious hour, was actually just 1 o'clock in the morning. But it sounded cooler and would confuse people if they heard it.)_

_Come alone!_

_Darkbooty, done with._

Frowning, Dib simply replied with a short, "Thanks," before shoving the cork back in and tossing the fish-in-a-ship-in-a-bottle in the trash. And this time, he thought for sure he could hear it moan in complaint.

He was already worried about plenty of things: about the attack on the Men in Black, about his weird extended family on his mother's side, about Tak living in the attic for the next few days, as well as ordinary things, like exposing Zim and occasionally bothering his sister. Looking at it this way, he would surely think he was living the extraordinary life he'd always dreamed of. Unfortunately, only retrospective would provide him with this outlook.

If he'd known he had yet another thing to worry about -that of Agent Darkbooty becoming suspicious of his actions- he'd probably have freaked out. Because right now, it felt like they were the only other people he could trust, besides Tak. And even then, he liked being on her good side.

And knowing her, he'd better explain what all this is about before she thinks he's hiding something.

Thinking towards her, he managed to get her attention, although she'd been busily setting things up in the attic, and thusly drowning out his obnoxious prattling. 'Hey, TAK! Come on, don't make me come back UP there!'

'Yes, YES! I can HEAR you!' Exclaimed Tak mentally, 'What do you want?!'

'I have...something, uhm...to tell you...' Dib felt nervous about even thinking this. What was he nervous about? It was just a meet-up to discuss that unusual E-mail about the necklace... So why was he so afraid? There was really nothing to be nervous about!

'I'm waiting,' thought Tak, wondering what was taking him so long. Usually he'd be babbling non-stop -so why was he so nervous all of the sudden?

'It's -it's not as if you can't spy on me, you know!' Started Dib, the wrong end up.

'Wait, spy? Why is that so important?!' She was starting to get a tad bit worried. He usually became irritated if she spied on him without telling him... This was odd.

'It's just, oh, you know, it's that e-mail thing!' He stated, half-expecting her to know.

'What?'

'The-the, oh, you know!'

'Dib, if you can't even form complete sentences in your mind, then maybe I _need_ to control it!' Tak thought, mentally prodding him.

Dib took a deep breath and tried to figure out where to start. 'Okay, so, you know how all this trouble with the necklace started out? We were searching for a psychic teacher, and then the Swollen Eyeball received an e-mail about it... I, uh, mentioned that I had had it at one point, but I didn't tell them where it went! But then the Men in Black started getting interested, and, uhm...yeah.'

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she told herself that it wasn't gonna' help anything if she yelled at him before he told her what it was he was so nervous about. Then she could yell. 'Yes, I'm aware of that...'

'Anyways, they...might have an idea of who sent the e-mail. I have to meet with them to discuss this -we gotta' be careful of the Men in Black, so it'll be a short meeting, with only a few. I don't know why _I_ got invited, though.'

'Perhaps it's because you were the last one to have the necklace?' Replied Tak, then, adding, 'Do you want me to stand guard? If the Men in Black are around, there'll be double the trouble.'

'Ulgh!' Thought Dib as he realized he was in trouble. 'I'm really fine! If you're around, though, I'm worried they'll notice something's up.'

'I could send Mimi, then -just in case.' Thought Tak, thinking of the various tactics they'd have to devise in that kind of situation.

Speaking of tactics... Dib caught a few fleeting thoughts of strategies and suddenly realized, 'HEY! What about the big swap-n-swat!? We'll have to plan it around that!'

'Oh...' Tak thought a minute, 'If Zim launches his plan, we have to act. We'll be too busy planning; oh, well. I guess you'll have to miss it.'

'WHAT!? MISS it!?' Exclaimed Dib mentally. He looked rather funny, standing in the living room, gesturing wildly, 'THAT- THAT'S!'

'LISTEN!' Tak exclaimed just as loudly in his head, 'I _know_ how you hate to miss it, but just think: If you go, there's the chance they'll get some information out of you-'

'But-!'

'I KNOW YOU, DIB!' Explained Tak, 'You're not that good at lying, yet. You're still pretty awkward.'

'Bu-but...If I can avoid it, I don't _have_ to lie!'

'They're going to be asking about the necklace! Just what part of "dangerous" DON'T you understand!?'

Sighing, Dib said, 'Alright, alright!'

'And another thing,' Added Tak, 'The Men in Black are watching US closely. If you go, then you're putting all of them in danger!'

'Oh!' Gasped Dib, 'I never thought of that! But I'll have to think up a good excuse...'

'Good, you're finally using that thick head!'

'What's with all these jokes about- oh, wait, you said _thick_...well, it's not _that_ thick...!'

Tak just giggled to herself. She still enjoyed messing with his head.

'Something tickles...Tak, are you laughing again?' Asked Dib at the familiar feeling in his head.

0

* * *

0

After about half an hour of arguing over what the best "excuse" would be to get out of his meeting with the Swollen Eyeballs, they'd come to an agreement: #1, it was NOT going to be late-night indigestion from eating too much anchovy pizza. #2, it was NOT going to have anything to do with his sister.

Finally, their argument was interrupted by Professor Membrane, who, upon coming up from his lab, said, "Alright, kids, it's time for bed!"

"Aaawww..." moaned Gaz, who'd entertained herself by recording Dib's silent argument with Tak. Watching him walk, pace, and gesture for no apparent reason was the funniest thing she'd seen all day. "And it was just getting _good_!" She decided to save it for recent black-mail purposes by threatening to put it up on Boobtube.

Dib, who hadn't been paying any attention to Gaz's paparazzi-cell-phone, looked up and said, "Oh, okay!" Before meandering off to his room slowly.

'Hey, wait!' Exclaimed Tak in his head quite suddenly. 'That's it! It's so simple!'

Dib's head jerked up, but he stayed on-course for the stairs, 'What? What?!'

'You can just tell them that your dad initiated a "lock-down" or a, "curfew", because of the recent Men in Black problems!' She still couldn't believe how she hadn't thought of it earlier. 'That's both simple and elegant!'

'Wow,' Dib blinked, 'Even though that hasn't actually happened, it's still a pretty good idea! I can say I can't make it because he insisted we not go out at night! That's great!'

'And, the best part is,' added Tak, 'That since he's your _parent_, they can't dispute it! It's perfect!'

'Gee, Tak, what would I ever do without you?' Dib was grinning to himself.

'THAT'S!' Dib suddenly realized how it sounded, 'THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! I MEAN, OH, D'OH!' Face-palms R Us.

Tak just shook her head and said, 'Whatever. Just get that fish-in-a-ship-in-a-bottle and report back to them.'

'You knew about the fish-in-a-ship-in-a-bottle?!' Dib asked, realizing he didn't think he'd actually mentioned it to her.

'Always.'

0

* * *

0

The Yeti, Fred, stood still, almost hanging his head, while his buddies stared at him. They were all assembled at a "safe house", which was basically an abandoned cabin which had previously been used as a Ranger Station. It was now their Safe House and Party Pad. (Interim Beauty Salon, when the girls used it.)

"What?!" Asked Harry the Bigfoot, "WHY!?"

"I just figured it was time to set things straight! And 'sides," he looked a little sullen, "I hate to think of the trouble I caused for that little big-headed kid."

"Yeah," agreed Bob the Sasquatch, "He may be annoying, but he doesn't deserve the Ma-uBs comin' after him..." He used one of the various "nicknames" they had for the Men in Black.

"I just didn't think it was right!" Said Fred, summing it up.

"Phoo... Well, don't think this'll make those Mamby-Bambys leave him alone!" Said Harry, also using a nickname as a vague reference.

Sighing, Fred felt like saying something else, along the lines of, "We don't have any control over that," but since it was so obvious, he didn't.

The other two had been silent for a little while, but then suddenly Bob spoke up, "I guess we'd better take care of ourselves." This meant almost the opposite of what it suggested. Being in such a situation was causing them to use code out of habit.

They really had to stop that.

0

* * *

0

Meanwhile, in some dark, mysterious cavern somewhere, where alien computers beeped and squeaked... Well, no, actually, it was just in Zim's underground base.

Zim had been pacing back and forth, waiting for an important delivery. Well, more importantly, it was an important arrival.

He'd been "patiently" awaiting this since six months ago, when the Almighty Tallest had contacted him about it...

And now, it was almost time!

The large screen in front of him beeped as the computer announced, {Uh, Sir, there's an incom-} Zim practically jumped up and screamed.

"PUT IT OOOONNN!"

There was silence for a minute, before the computer responded, {Ohkaaayyy...} and the screen blinked on.

The familiar face of a certain Invader we all know and love for some strange reason popped up and said, "Greetings, Invader Zim!" Ted Raim-er, Skoodge, saluted.

"SKOODGE!" Exclaimed Zim at three decibles louder than what was normally considered an excitable tone. "IT'S ABOUT TIME! WHERE HAVE _YOU BEEN~_!"

"Uh..." Said Skoodge, his mind flashing back to a recent incident with a "Star Station" fueling stop and some space ice-cream... "I was on my way here?"

"Well!" Exclaimed Zim, turning around and crossing his arms, "Come down to my base on this filthy_ rock-ball_ and we'll get started DESTROYING the FILTHY HUMANS!"

"Uh... You mean you _haven't_ destroyed any already?" Asked Skoodge, curiously.

Zim's proud look fell and he swung around, saying, "SILENCE! Just come down here and we'll talk about all my eh, AMAZING DESTROYING I've been doing!"

"Eh... Okay!" Said Skoodge, saluting once again, and then the screen blinked off.

"COMPUTER!" Screamed Zim.

{Geeze, you don't have to shout! I'm right here!} Moaned the computer in annoyance.

"Yes, you are." Nodded Zim in acceptance. "NOW THEN! Prepare the base for Skoodge's arrival. He'll need a place to stay... Nyeh, I don't care enough. ANYWAYS, I'm going up to the hangar to await his arrival. He should be getting here any minute no-" There was a sudden beeping, sounds from far above them, and the computer informed him Skoodge had already docked.

Zim ran off suddenly, screaming something about pants and ingots.

{*Sigh* I wonder what posessed the Almighty Tallest to send someone to _help_ him...?}

0

* * *

0

SIX MONTHS AGO, ABOARD THE MASSIVE...

"Great, NOW what're we gonna' do?" Asked Tallest Purple with a moan.

"Dunno." Tallest Red popped another doughnut in his mouth. "Evwey timwe we szhenn 'im ofph ta' dieo 'e szhurvwivwe!" Purple turned to look at him and waited for him to clarify. Red finished chewing and then said, "I mean, he keeps coming back! He just won't die!"

Tallest Purple handed him his drink and then said, "Yeah, I mean, who survives getting shot out of the Organic Sweep _Canon_!?"

Taking a sip, Red said thanks, and then sighed and said, "I know, who'd have thought it'd happen _twice_?!" Referring to a previous attempt by another Almighty Tallest in their history. "And the WORST part is, he's probably one of the_ best_ Invaders we've ever had!"

Shuddering, Purple said, "Don't make me _remember_ that!" He turned away and rubbed his arms as if he'd suddenly caught a chill.

"Even _worse_ than that, we haven't heard from Invader Tenn in a while..." Remarked Tallest Red, sipping some more of his soda. "I'm considering getting a little worried..."

"I don't know, maybe she's just occupied destroying? Or maybe she decided to take a break and skip out on work?" Suggested Tallest Purple, floating over to grab his own drink.

"Hmmm...I guess so..." Muttered Tallest Red, although he didn't sound convinced. "I'm not that convinced, though... 'Specially after that Megadoomer mix-up."

"Hey, yeah!" Said Tallest Purple, as if he'd just remembered it, "Hm! I wonder how that happened?" He went back to slucking on his drink.

"Dunno," moaned Tallest Red again, stuffing another doughnut into his mouth. Then, after slucking on his drink again, he said, "There's been an awful lot of unrest after that whole, 'Resisty' incident."

"Yeah, wonder when the Control Brains'll figure _that_ one out?" Said Tallest Purple, annoyed that they had to deal with such irritations as civil unrest and possibly captured Invaders.

"Incoming transmission," spoke up one of the technicians at the controls. "From...Ex-Invader Skoodge."

"Oh, GREAT! I hope you have a better idea than that _last_ plan," said Tallest Purple, rolling his eyes.

"I hope so, too." Said Tallest Red as Skoodge appeared on the screen.

"Skoodge reporting, Sirs! I just returned from Hobo 13, with excellent recommendations!" Skoodge saluted on-screen.

"Uhm...yes, we got the report..." Replied Tallest Red, looking down at one of the technicians who only shrugged to another. "In any case, we've, uh, got a new mission for you!"

"Oooh!" Purple said as he turned to whisper excitedly at Red, "Are you sending him to Earth? To where Zim is?!"

"Bingo," mumbled Red before replying to Skoodge's excited acceptance. "Yes, yes, we know. In any case, you'll be going to the planet Earth..."

"Isn't that where Zim is stationed on his 'fake mission'?" Asked Skoodge, showing far more comprehension of the subject than they wished for.

"He already knows!" Whispered Purple to Red.

"I guess we'll have to improvise," muttered Red, then, turning to Skoodge, "We've decided that, uh..." Suddenly the answer popped into his mind like lightning, "We want you to go to Earth and make SURE that Zim doesn't do ANY THING MORE that could bother us. Understand?"

"Yeah!" Pipqued up Tallest Purple, "And if you could KILL 'im, that'd be great, too!" His head was in front of Red's, so he pushed him out of the way in order to talk.

"Y-yeah, right! ...Oh, that reminds me of something...what was that...?" Tallest Red stopped to think.

"What?" Asked Purple.

"Oh, that thing, you know?" Replied Red.

"Oh! Yeah, I know!" Tallest Purple exclaimed, then, turning to Skoodge on the screen, said, "There's also another Irken there; name's Tak. She's hoping to get promoted, too, if she kills Zim. So, you know..." Then, in a low voice, he mumbled, "Only she actually shows promise...and _isn't_ short and ugly."

"You can work together if you want," Tallest Red shrugged. Then, slucking on his soda, he said, "Or not."

"Got it! I'll do my best, Sirs!" Said Skoodge, saluting.

"Good! Then, uh...get to work!" Tallest Red signaled to the technicians to turn it off. They did, and the two sat in awkward silence. Tallest Red turned to Tallest Purple and said, "Well, that's all for that!"

"Yeah..." Said Tallest Purple, slucking on his drink, "I just hope this doesn't start some sort of strange coincidence which leads to an awful, _awful_ adventure where we have to fight to survive on some horrible alien planet, and everyone almost dies, before finally winning and creating a brand-new era of peace because of the 'Moo-moo Galactic Covenant'!"

Tallest Red pulled the straw out of his mouth and said, "Oh, I HATE it when that happens!"

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Back on Earth, in the present time, Zim was briefing Skoodge on the current situation.

A giant screen loomed up above their heads, with a picture of Dib with measurements and annotations at the side. There was also a picture of Tak, which had been defaced and doodled on by GIR; but for whatever unknown reason, he didn't doodle on Dib. _(A/N: Sometimes you don't have to write the jokes... The jokes write themselves!)_

"As you can see, Skooz," said Zim as he continued pacing.

"Eh, it's 'Skoodge'," said person held up a finger, correcting him.

"Whatever. As you can see, Skorp, our mission is a very DANGEROUS one, indeeeed~! With the DIB-WOOZLE teaming up with THAT 'FAKE INVADER', *Fits of grunting here* TAK! I'll need all your help in combating their COMBINED EFFORTS!" Zim gesticulated wildly as he said all this, finally finishing with some hard swipes at the air.

"Uhhh..." said Skoodge, thinking on his current mission to either "destroy" or in some other way "subdue" Zim. "Okay! You can count on me, Sir!" He saluted, every bit the picture of a perfect plant...a short, ugly, and highly gullible plant...but that was besides the point! He was willing to do his best to accomplish his mission to please his Almighty Tallests! And get to be an Invader again.

"Good! Just what I wanted to hear! ..." Then, as in an afterthought, Zim said, "I guess I'd better go check those Bubbling Boobies...I hear them squacking and they're sure to eat through the container like aciii~iiid! if I don't do something, quickly." Then he walked away stiffly, humming and singing something about liquid blue-footed boobies.

Poor Skoodge was left all alone in the main communications room of the lab, along with GIR who was now drawing on the floor with stuff that may or may not have been designed to be used as drawing implements.

"Uhm... I'll just, uh... Yeah." Said Skoodge as he stood alone there, thinking.

Thinking.

All alone.

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The next day was Sunday. Dib and Tak were still hurriedly working on the moving of the base. Although Mimi and the base's computer had been moving in record time, it would still take until Tuesday to fully extract it. That was cutting it close; and she and Dib were growing continually restless as they tried to investigate the Men in Black covertly. That also wasn't going well.

As Dib walked downstairs to the kitchen, yawning, he was strangely in the mood for some spicy chicken. That's odd. He didn't normally crave spicy chicken early in the morning.

"Good morning, Gaz," he said as he entered and checked the 'fridge for something like his said craving.

"Yeah, 'good' morning...!" She sneered as she gave him an angry look. Eyeing her, he wondered just what in the heck he'd done to annoy her this morning... Then realized that he'd rather eat, first.

"What's wrong?" He asked anyway as he put some bread in the toaster to make himself some cinnamon toast. There was some chicken in the 'fridge...maybe he could put something spicy on it and then put it with the toast in a sandwich?

"YOU'RE what's WRONG," explained Gaz emphatically.

"What?" Asked Dib, eyebrow raised in confusion.

"I heard you're going to visit 'Aunt Patri'..." began Gaz, jogging his memory, "And she LOVES to see BOTH her nephew _and_ her niece!" And suddenly the source of her ire was revealed.

"Oh...!" Said Dib, thinking while his bread smoked and toasted. "Erm! I'm really sorry, but she just insisted, and-!" He was cut off while she leaned in close and held a small hand up in a fist at his big head.

"I..DON'T...CARE!" She stated simply, then added, "But if you'd just accepted Aunt Patri's invitation in the FIRST PLACE, none of this would've ever HAPPENED!" Her tiny fist was still shaking, not belying its incredible abilities.

"I'm...!" Dib suddenly realized that she didn't want to hear an apology, and stopped at that. "She's not really a REAL psychic, though!"

"AUNT PATRI'S SMARTER THAN THAT!" Exclaimed Gaz, alluding to their previous visit with her. "SHE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR FUTURE FOR YOUR OWN STINKIN' BIG-HEADED GOOD! IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PUT UP WITH YOU!" She screamed this last part, now actually belying the kind of stress she'd currently been under. But she wouldn't say what this was; especially not to anyone stupid and idiotic like him, and so she simply screamed and left him wondering as to her exceptional out-burst this early in the morning.

Dib stood there, still confused, and simply blinked as she went back to eating her "Blue Buubees" breakfast cereal.

"I'm- think my toast is done," Dib stated lamely, before slowly meandering back to get his toast and prepare his spiced chicken-ey breakfast.

Once he was done and had sat down at the table, he asked, "Humh. Cinnamon-toast and spicy chicken...?! Just what the heck was I thinking...?!" And yet, he went to work devouring them hungrily, not having noticed exactly how hungry he really was until he started eating it. And, it wasn't such a bad combination!

"Humph! Growth-spurts, huh?" Mentioned Gaz as she noticed this.

"Hhmh?" Mumbled Dib with his mouth full.

"You're eating like a pregnant woman," replied Gaz, smirking.

"HIaum now-!" Noticing his mouth was still full, he swallowed and said, "I am _not_! I'm not eating salty and sweet things! Where'd you get that?!"

"Eheh, are you sure about that...?" She smirked as she said this, just to get his goat. "And besides, you've been eating a lot more lately. Strange foods, mostly. Haven't you noticed?!" She asked this with actual concern this time, as the idea that he couldn't even consider the changes happening in his own body was weird.

"I...huh, well, I-!" He stopped as he realized that she was right. But he'd been too busy to even think about it. "I guess you're right..." he mumbled, grudgingly accepting it. "But what's so great about that? I'm still growing!"

"Not at your age," she responded, slowly smirking, "boys get their growth-spurts later than girls. This shouldn't happen until at least your teens...!" Despite what she'd sworn to herself earlier, to wait until the Universe decided Dib was good and ready, she liked pestering him with the truth.

"I'm not- I mean,..!" Dib tried hard to come up with something, but he'd run out of ideas. Sighing, "Then, I guess I'm just the odd one out! Besides, I'll be pretty tall -I take after Dad. What's the big deal?"

Clicking her tongue in annoyance at his consistent denial of the unusual things happening with his own body, -honestly, he was almost as bad as their DAD!- she just said, "Well, you're also starting to show an interest in girls."

"You've GOT to be kidding me! You were serious with all those jokes n' stuff?! I mean, I've hardly even KNOWN Tak for like, what? A couple of months, if you count the first time she was here?! She was also undercover and_ lying_ most of the time! I mean, REALLY!" Then, taking another bite before putting the food in his hands down, he said, "She's ALSO an ALIEN! That's just freaky and _weird_!"

"*Sigh* Dib, you know I don't usually care about what you do, but come on already! You spend practically every day with her, and she's the first person I've seen -besides me- who can actually put up with your stupid babbling! You've never had anyone pay any attention to you before, of _course_ you'd start liking her!" She suddenly felt the urge to beat the thought into his thick head -but, if their father was nearby and happened to wander in, he'd punish her for it.

"Okay, alright! So, I have a 'girlfriend', and I'm eating strange foods occasionally! What's NEXT?! That I'm turning into some sort of _monster_ with seven heads and three wings?" He stuffed as much of his sandwich as he could into his mouth and said, "Vewy fuwwy, Gawz!"

The thought of this conversation had not escaped Tak, who was hiding her mirth from Dib as well as she could as she laughed at this conversation. Sometimes just watching his little sister punishing him was worth all the trouble! And speaking of punishing... Gaz grit her teeth and shook her fists, but somehow refrained from punishing him -for now!- as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her Gameslave 2. She walked off into the living-room to play until she calmed down. Then she could finally enjoy her breakfast; preferrably without her large-headed and thick-headed brother there.

"It looks like Vannin's parents aren't the ONLY ones who've been jumping to conclusions...!" Dib mumbled to himself as he went on to finish his sandwich.

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Tak had, meanwhile, during the night when Dib was miraculously sleeping soundly, contrived a way to keep some eye on what the Men in Black were doing, as well as using some of his dad's computers to do it.

She'd found that Professor Membrane had already installed a system to alert him if they were close to either the house or his lab, or anything else pertaining to his family or research... Quite the thorough job. He definitely didn't like them... This made it much easier for her to utilize, although she was a little worried what he'd do if he suspected his son was working with someone to take them out. Sure, he disliked and even feared them... Still, what would he think of taking on an entire government institution...?

That was the big question. Perhaps she could ask Dib to pose a few "questions" to him under the guise of normal conversation? ...Maybe after he got better at acting, first. In fact, perhaps it was best to save any unusual questions for emergency situations only?

She sighed to herself as she considered this. She wasn't currently active in anything, sitting up in the attic after having arranged the place to her satisfaction. But since Dib was going to visit his Aunt Patrina Pertina later on that day, she'd have little time to relax. She certainly couldn't count on Gaz's involvement, since she suspected there was something else that was making her violently stressed; although she couldn't quite seem to get past her mental "angry wall" to determine what was causing it.

That only left Dib, and perhaps his relatives if she could ever manage to convince them that she wasn't a threat and that they should put aside the concept of their own safety to help them... Nah! That idea was rarely useful except with extremists -which explains why The Resisty still didn't have adequate numbers to oppose the Irken Empire- although they were gaining sympathizers, what with that last incident on Mook-kortoore.

She still wished that Gaz would help them, but her instincts were telling her that it would be insane to try and cross her. In any event, she needed some more useful help... And suddenly, something came to mind: someone who not only knows about aliens, but who would be more than grateful to get rid of those pesky "Men in Black" once and for all! ...And not only that, but she also had the extra little "bait" to lure them with... This was going to take a lot of work, but perhaps it was worth it...?

In any case, she should also work on her psychic skills, just in case it became necessary to use them...!

Thus, she set to work.

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TO BE CONTINUED...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This chapter will have to be cut in half...sorrys! But, I'll upload it immediately after this, so you won't have to wait very long! The next part to chapter 4 is very soon! All the normal notes will be added at the end of the last part (since I don't know how much this thing'll let me upload!)

THE NEXT PART IS SOOOOOON! -


	5. Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard? Again

DISCLAIMER: Uh...this is still Chapter 4, so, uh...do I really have to include another one? Wells, anyways...I DON'T OWN IT! *Evil laughter* No, really! I don't!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Chapter 4 still, peoples! This will obviously take another couple of parts to finish...Geeze, I feel sort-of happy at this long amount of an upload~! *Cheesy grins* Anyways, enjoy~!

IT IS CONTINUED...

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As they drove to Aunt Patri's, riding in the "Convertible Transportation" their father had designed for both off-road and speed, both strength and squeezing into those small parking spaces, the two were escorted by their father himself.

It was not only unusual that he would go out of his way to escort them, but that he would make them wear additional "monitors", just in case. Earlier, their conversation was like this:

DIB: But, Dad, why do we have to wear these little monitors? *Points to his torso where a small box is hidden underneath his shirt.* I mean, we ALREADY have those little tracking-chips you stuck inside of us when we were babies! Why do we need this?

PROF. MEMBRANE: Because, Son! The T.S.s have been recently observing us quite closely -I'm sure you remember that- and I need to not only monitor your whereabouts, but also your physical status at all times! The range of the receiver I use is quite large: I've also changed its frequency, and I'm solely responsible for it. Hence, no one knows its workings except for me! Hhhm...yes, I think that should be good...!

GAZ: Dad's been upgrading the security since that last "Tech-stealers" incident.

PROF. MEMBRANE: Yes! And with those monitors, I'm able to detect any change in your physical state -so you don't have to worry! Even if the T.S.s manage to use some of that "Mind-swaying Spray", I'll be able to see it, and I'll come help! Even if I'm several thousands of miles away! *This last part said dramatically, his hand grasping the air above his head.*

DIB: But, I thought you said you just had a little work in your lab across town?

PROF. MEMBRANE: Yes, which is why I'll be able to send guards to assist you, as well as set spies in the Super Tippy Pippy Amusement Park! I'll be rearranging my schedule, which may take about...an hour, if I use the calculator! And so I'll also be able to drive you there and bring you back! Sound good?

DIB: Uhhh...yeah, sure. *Dib shrugs his shoulders*

GAZ: Okay.

That being said, after they got into the CT, or "Convertible Transportation", (also called the "CaT-car at times,) only then did Dib really have time to think on what all of this meant. "The Convertible Car sure is great!" He managed to say when he couldn't think up a topic of conversation. Their family was usually at a loss unless someone had something interesting happen, and even then, their conversations would be subjects discussed thoroughly until they petered out for lack of new information on said topic... Much like an Asperger's conversation, really...

Only Gaz seemed capable of breaking this incredible genetic flaw, but she was usually so absorbed in her own interests that she would spare time only to talk to those she tolerated... Those didn't include Dib, (but mostly because he talked a lot,) but did include their father, along with anyone she played video-games with. It was a rather annoying habit, but it did give Tak some time to talk to him.

'"Convertible Car", huh?' Her mind broke through his intense concentration and fretting on what to do in order to break the ineffable silence inside the vehicle. Dib's head pulled up a bit from where he sat in the backseat, (Gaz had claimed the front,) and he had to force himself not to yell out, "HUH!?" in surprise from it. 'Can't you think of anything...more intelligent to add?'

_(A/N: "Convertible Transportation" is an "Inspector Gadget" nod. *Keeps nodding her head* Yup!)_

'Oh! Uh, Hi, Tak!' Thought Dib back, putting his head back in his hand, still leaning on the armrest in the door. 'I'm sorry, I don't seem to have the gift of Blarney,' he thought, and winced as he remembered his cousins -and Pooki!- who seemed to have ample amounts of it.

'Well, I'M SORRY,' thought Tak sassily, 'I just thought that it'd be nice if you could get a little practice on getting information out of people without their notice! ...It might make things easier for the future...!' She ended this thought on such a suspicious note, that Dib couldn't help but think it over.

'You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you're trying to turn me into a younger version of _you_!' Thought Dib in the most impressive display of emotive intelligence, aka "intuition", that she'd ever heard him think. It was times like this, she _almost_ thought he'd be worth training as a subordinate...but that wouldn't work. He was too annoying...and his life-span was short.

Instead, she just told him, 'You're getting rather ...full of yourself. You'd better be careful.' She had avoided a "big-headed" joke just to keep him from getting annoying and off-track. But she added something else before he could make a retort, 'I'll get straight to the point: I'm thinking of enlisting some help from another enemy of the Men in Black.'

'What KIND of enemy?' Asked Dib, although he was keenly aware that he would regret it. 'And why are you telling ME this?' He added, earning a glare which came searing through his mind.

'Well, _you're_ the one who keeps telling me that "We're partners!" and that "We should tell each other stuff!"' She found herself mentally making quotations in the air and sort-of snickered at that. Too much joking and not enough work. She pushed down the humor and continued, 'I'm sure you're aware that I told you to make an excuse to get out of that meeting with your "Swollen Eyeball" agency?'

'It's the "Swollen Eyeball Network", and yes, I do. But you told me it was because I could possibly put them in danger BECAUSE of the Men in Black! So what are you-' Tak's mental "GGGRRR!" put a stop to his suspicious train of thought before he could pull her into an argument.

'THE POINT IS!' She began shouting mentally, just to get his attention, 'That I may need a lot more help... And since we can't use your dad's position and influence, we'll need to look somewhere else.'

'That's the point?' Asked Dib, incredulously. 'I thought that you were going to be an Invader -that you were going to take down entire governments by your self!' He smirked a bit as he thought this, glad to get a little sting in on her for once. He savored the feeling -before she once again soured it.

'An Invader doesn't just use those means -_especially_ when they're rooting out only _one_ section of a government- or would you rather have me topple the entire system for you? Hm? That would probably make it easier for ZIM to conquer, or, Oh! I know! I could just conquer the _entire nation_! How about that? HM?!' Her sarcastic reply stinging over the mental link made him sigh.

'Okay, but I'm not agreeing to anything just yet -but tell me what you want.' He was looking rather poutily out towards the window, and his dad noticed it when he'd sighed; so it wasn't unusual when his father spoke up in concern for him.

"What's wrong, Son?" Professor Membrane asked, looking into the rear-view mirror.

"HUH!?" Dib exclaimed this time, instantly wondering if he'd spoken aloud, or if he'd otherwise somehow given away what they were thinking of.

"Don't worry about him, he's just spacing out," replied Gaz as she punched the buttons on her Gameslave.

Dib was slightly surprised as to this surreptitious, felicitous comment of hers, but he used it, "Uhhh...yeah! I'm sorry about that! What, uh, was it you were saying?"

'Great acting, Dumb-head!' Thought Tak as she rolled her eyes in her head both mentally and physically.

'Will you shut up?!' Thought Dib, who was having a hard time paying attention to two conversations at once. Despite the fact that they'd practiced, it was considerably more difficult.

"Oh, I was just wondering since you seemed rather contemplative... Did anything happen, lately?" His dad's suspicious insinuations made Dib jealous that he hadn't inherited that quality. _He_ could've used the gift of Blarney, too! Why didn't he have it?! Dang-it, it would sure come in handy whenever he was trying to get people to listen to him! What, did it only come after years of practice, or how did one acquire-!

'DIB! Will you pay attention to his questions?!' Tak's sharp reminder brought him back to the subject.

"I'm just wondering... How do you get good at conversations?" Dib found himself asking of his own father, who...wasn't exactly as good at them as he would like to have been.

His said parent looked with a slight bit of surprise, and then went on to explain various neurological and psychological influences, among which the cultural and even religious aspects would affect this, but it all culminated into one simple phrase: "If you want to understand how a conversation works, you'd have to better understand the psychological interplay between people."

'...That was...a little too much information...' Thought Tak, as the actual necessary info. did NOT have to become a college lecture!

'Yeah, I know. He does that,' was Dib's simple response before he responded to his dad, "Okay, thanks."

"Psshh!" Mumbled Gaz, "He'd need a _miracle_ to understand that!" Professor Membrane cajoled her as he replied with comments about how one just needed to practice, and that learning might take many different routes than were used by other people. The rest of the two-hour trip was relatively quiet.

They managed to get to the "Super-Tippy Pippy Amusement Park", -whose sole mascot was a very annoyed-looking, dizzy, Russian Blue cat- without too many more irritating conversations about it.

0

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0

But, once they'd entered the park...

After entering the park and going to Aunt Patrina Pertina's trailer, located right behind the tent in which she used to amaze and trick people out of their money, their father finally reluctantly left -as soon as he heard that Uncles Bob and Jon were going to be there. As soon as he left, Aunt Patrina turned to the kids and said, "I _told_ you I'd help! Why were you running around dragging the Men in Black after you?!" At this point, Dib's open-mouthed shock was a moot point.

Gaz, of course, was instantly there to assure the proper placement of blame: "_I_ wasn't involved in it! Just _him_ and his BIG-HEADED STUPIDITY!" Aunt Patrina turned to look at him, but Dib just nodded in agreement.

"*Sigh* Well, alright, I guess this means I'll have to talk to Dib alone..." Said Aunt Patrina, bowing her head in what seemed like exhaustion. "But, in the meantime, I'll get some tea to put on while we're waiting for the rest of your Uncles and Jon to get here," for some reason she never referred to their Uncle Jon as actually being related to them.

Just as Dib was about to make a comment about this, his mouth open, became one of open-mouthed shock as the back door of the small trailer burst open and said Uncle Jon said, "I'm here! I'm here! What'd I miss?! Are the kids gone!?" Sighing, Aunt Patrina just shook her head as she put the kettle on the stove to boil.

"No, no! The kids just got here! Come on in and sit down," she motioned to a chair, and he sat down, moving his large, black and tan coat into a comfortable position underneath his legs. "I also wonder and hope that the other two uncles are nearby?" She was worried and nervous about something... The entire demeanor of their aunt today had been weird.

Dib wasn't thinking about her, though. He was considering how, just because he'd considered how stupid his Uncle Jon's black and TAN trench-coat looked, he'd decided to get a pure black one. He smiled a bit as he considered how much better a choice it was. But his smile was interrupted when both his Aunt spoke something along the lines of, "If you're that happy, then you'll be really happy when you hear abou-" and someone else burst through the door.

It was Uncle Bob, the one Dib had long thought was some kind of werewolf. After looking at him, with his excessive side-burns and extra body-hair, along with his stature, it was kind-of easy to see why he'd think that. But it wasn't just that which gave him reason to believe that he was -it was the howling late at night which he could swear sounded just like his voice when he made those animal sounds when their "Animal Sound-making Toy" had broken that one time. It was eerie...and creepy enough since he already had a hairy back in his human form!

'Uhm...okay...that's quite a lot more than I'd _ever_ wanted to know about your family members...' Tak had been exceedingly quiet throughout this entire thing, even before they arrived at the amusement park, and yet this time she just couldn't help herself. Forget being careful of his psychic relatives; that was just _creepy_!

'Yeah, I know... Tell me about it!' Dib thought back with a slight roll of his eyes whilest Uncle Bob and Aunt Patrina were busy with the greetings.

"You're going to have to explain some of that, you know." His Aunt Patrina had turned to look at him, and startled him with such a strange comment.

But, thankfully, Gaz was one to speak up with her own personal agenda, "Hey, can I go? I'd like to check out the park while I'm here." To be sure, their last uncle had not arrived yet.

"Oh, sure! But, wait!... No, not yet. Your dad said to 'Make sure that the children are in your care and under CONSTANT supervision at ALL TIMES!'" She'd performed a remarkable impression of him, which caused Gaz to snicker and Uncles Trench-coat Jon and Werewolf Bob to giggle. Dib just stared blank-faced, not really caring right now if someone's impression was funny -which it seriously was!

At this point Uncle Vennie cleared his throat outside and surprised everyone by stepping inside by the backdoor -which had been left open- and said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt! But, uh...I was told-" He was in turn interrupted by Aunt Patrina, who turned to him and insisted that he come in and close that door -then insinuated that he was "born in a barn or something".

Gaz smirked at this, but after the other two sat down, the real subject came up. "Uncle Jon, please take Gaz out to enjoy the park -I'll only need to talk with Dib," said Aunt Patrina, then added under her breath, "and his friend...who is a girl."

Handing Uncle Trench-coat Jon some money, Aunt Patrina ushered them out the door before finally turning to the others in the room and nodding, indicating that it was time to secure the area for a more private conversation. Both uncles that were left nodded silently, then made sure the doors and windows were secured before taking their places. Werewolf Bob sat at the table and Vennie stood at the back near a window by the little kitchenette, where his own long, gray with little splotches of brown coat, would look like curtains from the outside.

Dib suddenly felt like he was in the middle of an interrogation. 'Uh-oh.' He thought, desperately hoping he could get out of it. Tak, who was privy to this, also was a bit nervous; but she swallowed it and hoped Dib didn't notice while she assured him it would be alright.

'Don't worry. They were trying to help you earlier, so just relax. And don't babble!' She reminded him, hoping that her current mental protection against any psychic's prying was strong enough. He simply swallowed and stepped forward a bit. "Wh-What do you want to talk about...?" He asked, somewhat more calmly.

She simply smiled at him and said, "No, you're not in trouble, Little Dib." Then she turned back to the other two as if to affirm this. "But, we would like to know just why in the heck you were running around in Arid-zona with the Men in Black on your tail when you could've just asked _me_!"

"Um..." started Dib, then he suddenly remembered: he hadn't known about any of this -about his family having actual psychics, that they were more than odd- supernaturally odd! And so he replied, "Well, for starters, you didn't even give me a FORTUNE the last time I came! So how was I to know you were actually a REAL psychic!?"

Aunt Patrina looked slightly nervous as she realized that he was right, "Er...! You're right, I...uh...guess... But what about the Men in Bla-!" She was interrupted as Dib decided it was his turn in the interrogator's pants.

"AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING!" He exclaimed suddenly. Hearing his own voice echo off the tinny walls of the tiny trailer, he lowered his voice a smidge. "Why is it you guys know all this stuff and you never even TOLD ME!?"

Aunt Patrina looked up nervously as if she didn't know what to say -it also seemed a bit revealing as to how guilty she was. "Well, I, ah...know we haven't been exactly...what's the word...?"

"Honest," mumbled Uncle Vennie from the wall. He was now leaning on the stove, as if casually.

Aunt Patrina sweatdropped at this, but then agreed, "Uh...yeah, that's it." Then she held up a hand, pointing her finger up as if she'd just thought of it, "But, that was all for a veeery good reason! ...And, heh, heh-heh, well...! You'll actually laugh quite a lot when you hear it! But, uh...first, we'll need...eh, uh, huhh..."

"Can _you_ say it, or should I?" Asked Uncle Werewolf Bob from where he sat at the table. Also looking casual.

Sighing, Aunt Patrina said, "No, I'll say..." then, looking at Dib, who had his arms folded and a victorious smirk, she said, "We'll have to ask you a few questions, before we tell you... Is that alright?"

Taking a page from his "Investigating Suspicious and Possibly Dangerous People and/or Creatures" book, Dib simply said, "What _kind_ of questions...?!"

Looking back at Uncle Werewolf Bob, Aunt Patrina scarcely knew which question to start with.

"How about, 'What's your relationship with this alien psychic woman, and why?'" Asked Uncle Werewolf Bob, making things easier.

"What do you mean by, 'relationship'?" Asked Dib, giving them a suspicious eye. He'd had all he could stand about his little sister insisting that he had a crush on a _dangerous_ alien that was probably hundreds of years too old for him anyways -so he wasn't taking any chances. He also just wanted to give 'em the stink-eye.

"And also, if he's been craving things like strange foods, or a desire to hide in the dark," added Uncle Vennie from over in the kitchen where he was apparently fiddling with what looked like a kitchen-knife and a can-opener.

Dib pouted, but explained, "I'm only _working_ with her to capture_ Zim_; because apparently, he's a _criminal_ who's been sent into exile here on a fake mission; and because he's still _somehow_ managed to cause trouble for his own kind, -believe me, I've seen it!- they sent someone to_ eliminate_ him once and for all. But he's super-hard to kill! I mean-!" He suddenly stopped himself as he realized he was running off on a tangent. He was also surprised that he caught it so early in the rant. "In fact, he causes _more destruction_ than anyone I've ever known, and he still doesn't _get killed_! I'm beginning to suspect something weirdly paranormal about that, like, maybe he was part of a curse or something, and-" Uncle Vennie cleared his throat and clicked the kitchen-knife on the can-opener, interrupting him.

"Oh," said Dib, once he realized he was doing it again. Meanwhile, Tak was considering that his tendency to rant was because his father often gave similar lectures at times...that would explain it. But she had no time to mention this to him, and also feared she'd give herself away to the resident psychic in the room by doing more than just listening in. She'd already done it once before, and she was still worried that Aunt Patrina was able to hear anything -or at the very least, sense it!

"Very good," said Aunt Patrina, who all at once reminded Dib of a school teacher. But this changed when she said, "I'm also interested to find out just what you consulted that psychic for. Your friend can't _possibly_ have made this much advancement without any knowledge of how to use her psychic abilities. And who was it you spoke with in the first place? You seemed awfully excited about it, according to Little Gazzy."

Dib wanted to sneer at the thought of Gaz blabbing things to them, but he held it in and said, "I -well, I mean WE- consulted Madame Vicious. And my _partner_ was only in need of some basic things -she has already mastered some of her own skills- so you see, there really isn't anything odd about it." He said this quite clearly and slowly, hoping not to give anything away, not even her name. Since she wasn't prodding him, he hoped he'd done okay. He'd never been so eager to keep a secret before.

"Madame Vicious!?" Exclaimed Aunt Patrina in surprise. She'd actually gasped and put her hand on her chest. Huh. Now that sounded a lot more like the Aunt he'd met before! Dib felt a little bit lighter. He had been worried that she was her doppelganger...

"And what does she get for all this?" Asked Uncle Werewolf Bob from his place, still sitting at the table. The tea hadn't boiled yet, but Dib felt like it was taking an awfully long time... "She wouldn't just go through all this trouble for _nothing_! What's _her_ side of this story!?" And Dib suddenly felt like it was never going to do it.

"I'm- She'll get promoted!" Exclaimed Dib promptly. Tak was relieved when she heard this. But there was still that other matter... And his Uncle Werewolf Bob seemed considerably more suspicious of her. She needed to be extra-careful, and yet, she also wanted to help Dib to collaborate the story.

"Aunt Patrina, what is it?" Asked Uncle Vennie, who'd looked up when he suddenly noticed that she was being quite quiet.

"I see. Promoted. Then...that means that she'll be leaving after that. And promoted to what? To an 'Invader' just like this 'Zim' supposedly is...? And yet, you seem to think that it's not necessary to be worried, so for now, I'll just leave it at that."

She put a hand to her chin and mused, "But that also means that you'll prove your point, and she'll have the psychic powers. I have to admit, and I do _hate_ to do it, but your choice of psychic was much better than I could've hoped. Madame Vicious is far more powerful than I am. And has many more years' experience...hhhmmm... Yeah, I think that's that. What else should we ask for?"

"How about asking him if he's had any powerfully strong urges to go run and hide in the dark?... 'Cause those are strong, you know?" Asked Uncle Vennie, all still playing with his little kitchen-knife and can-opener.

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Dib said, "What do you think I am?! A big BABY?!" Then, after folding his arms, he said, "I don't get this, what are you getting at? What's with these strange questions?! You think that I'm 'in over my head' or something!?"

"NO, Dib," the Uncle Werewolf Bob said whilest Aunt Patrina sighed.

"We're not, we're just, uh...worried~! That's all." Said Aunt Patrina, hoping he wouldn't bring up the obvious question.

Pouting and eying them suspiciously, Dib finally said, "Okay, then! I've answered all of your questions, so now answer some of mine!"

"Nope, sorry! You didn't pass the test," said Uncle Vennie quickly from his place by the stove. The water for the tea was just starting to simmer.

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dib in anguished, incredulous surprise. "What TEST!?"

"Oh, you know, the one where we test with questions to see whether it's the right time to tell you," replied Uncle Bob.

"Yes, and right now, you're just too immature," added Aunt Patrina. The annoyance of this had just reached its peak.

"IMMATURE!? And you guys call hiding in the dark MATURE!?" Exclaimed Dib, hands grasping the air.

"Well, no, that's not-" started Uncles Vennie and Bob, but Dib interrupted.

"OH, SURE! I bet there's some super-big, terrible REASON why you're all hiding the fact that you're, you're- a real psychic, werewolf, and a, uh... whatever he is?!" He exclaimed, pointing to each one in turn.

"Well, actually, I'm a-" started Uncle Vennie, but Dib wasn't listening.

"AND I BET that you were just gonna' TELL ME, the guy who's gonna' become a Paranormal Investigator?! HAH!" Tak would've normally said something to him by this time, but this was just getting too interesting. So he was allowed to continue, undaunted, "What IS this, some kind of PRACTICAL JOKE or something!? Oh, hey, let's play around with the 'boy who would be king'!"

"Okay, now you're just being stupid; that reference doesn't make any sense!" Replied Uncle Werewolf Bob, with a hand on his chin.

"We don't even care about that 'Paranormal Investigator' thing," added Uncle Vennie who was now twirling the can-opener crank around.

"Wha?" Mumbled Dib as it was his turn to be quietly shocked. This time Aunt Patrina asked the questions.

"Look, DIB!" Exclaimed Aunt Patrina suddenly, getting his attention in the lull from the yelling, "If you want proof we're all on the same side, let me ask you this: If _you_ were to find _proof_ of anything paranormal, would you expose one of us?"

Dib got a sour look on his face, knowing his answer had to be in the negative. He still had to answer to his father, after all. "No. But _not_ because I like it!" Then he pouted and added reluctantly, "It's just that Dad insisted I not do it. He said, 'Family doesn't try to expose family!' or something like that."

Aunt Patrina just smiled, then said, "Well, okay, then! But if you_ could_ expose us, you would, right?"

Dib just rolled his eyes, still pouting, and said, "Yes."

"But, if that exposure led to one of us being in terrible danger, would you _help_?" Aunt Patrina continued.

"Well- Yeah, of course!" Replied Dib hesitantly, then mumbled, "'Cause you're family..." Then, after a moment of silence, he exclaimed, "But that's not what I want to do! I just want people to see the _truth_!"

"Yes, I know," replied Aunt Patrina, with a slightly tired look in her eyes. But Dib wasn't done, yet.

"I mean, do you know HOW STINKIN' HARD it is, to go through life with absolutely_ blind_ morons surrounding you?! And when you try to point to things, they just say, 'Duuuhhh...huh huh, you're stupid 'cause I don't see anything...and I can't possibly comprehend the fact that it could've moved...!'"

"YEAH!" Exclaimed Uncle Vennie, in front of Dib at once, and suddenly enthused by the conversation, "And no matter HOW HARD YOU TRY, they just don't seem to get it!"

"YES!" Exclaimed Dib, "It's like, it's like-! If you took a giant TWO-BY-FOUR, and HIT THEM OVER THE HEAD, you _still_ wouldn't get ANY REACTION!"

"THAT'S EXACTLY like WHAT HAPPENED! I was telling these people, that those STEEL BEAMS were going to HIT THEM IN THE HEAD, but they were too busy trying to see if the new health and safety regulations would make the price on their building DROP LIKE A STONE, and then, what do you know-" Aunt Patrina finally gave him a mental jolt to the head, making Uncle Vennie stop mid-sentence and look up.

"Uhhh..." stated Vennie, before finally saying, "What I mean to say it, I, uh, totally, uh..uhm..."

"Can sympathize with him?" Added Aunt Patrina, with a knowing smirk on her face.

"Yeah!" Stated Vennie, then coughed and said, "That's it...!"

Dib raised his eyebrow at this, but was now inclined to thinking that perhaps there was something like a, "Super-duper Sight-seeing But Never Believed Sight-seer Who is Doomed" kind of supernatural thing, since at this point he was expecting everyone to be some sort of secret succubus or a phantom or something. Aunt Patrina interrupted his musings by bringing him back to the previous subject, along with Uncle Bob's help.

"As we were saying, it's kind-of _obvious_ that we wouldn't want any of our family members to get hurt -heh, after all, we've been keeping an eye on you kids ever since you were born!" Said Aunt Patrina with a slight laugh.

"Uuuhhh, I thought we mentioned we weren't going to mention that...?" Asked Uncle Bob, who was now giving away the obvious.

Dib, by now so used to this type of shock, just gave them a blank stare. "...Oookaaay... Not that that isn't weeiiirrd...or freeaaky...in no kind of good way..." he was backing up a slight bit before he continued, "But...just what made you think you needed to keep an _eye_ on us?"

There was a moment of silence, where Tak considered echoing Dib's comment about that creepy statement, but considered it verbose -and would stop the conversation entirely if she did it.

"I'm sorry, but that's classified information!" Stated Uncle Vennie, holding his finger up.

"You can't say that, you're not a time-traveler!" Snapped Uncle Bob, at which point the conversation dissolved thusly.

"I didn't think you knew of that Haruhi Suzumiya manga?" Asked Aunt Patrina, looking at Uncle Werewolf Bob in curiosity.

"Heh, yeah!" Said Uncle Vennie, with a rather large grin.

"I don't, it's just that I heard it from Van-nin...he...really likes to talk about his BD collection..." Uncle Bob trailed off, looking somewhat embarrassed about it. (And yes, for some reason, he always pronounces Vannin's name with both "n"s.)  
_(A/N: Fun facts I learned from reading a comic about visiting France! In France, manga/graphic novels are called BDs.)_

"Uh, EXCUSE ME~, but can we get back on topic, here?" Asked Dib in irritation. They were doing the exact same thing his cousins did when they tried to ignore a question...only this was rather spontaneous and seamless.

"Oh, okay," both Uncles said simultaneously.

"What were you saying?" Asked Aunt Patrina nicely.

"Like I said before," Dib stated this clearly, to make sure they understood, "WHAT made you guys think that you needed to keep an eye on my sister and me?"

"Well, not just your sister!" Said Aunt Patrina, "Your father as well. And it's not just that there was a reason, as it was more of a...precaution."

"What_ kind_ of precaution? Against WHAT?!" Asked Dib again, in annoyance.

"Now, look! It's really not that we don't want to tell you, it's just that you'll be in_ danger_ if you know!" Stated Uncle Vennie, stepping towards him again. "But you'll know pretty soon -maybe even by the time you turn twelve!"

"?! Twelve?! Just what does about HALF A YEAR have to do with _anything_?!" Asked Dib, on the verge of exclamation. At this point, Tak knew that they weren't getting anywhere and this conversation would end with more questions than anything. But she let it continue naturally as it would if she weren't there.

"*Sigh* You _really_ don't give up!" Said Aunt Patrina, "But we _can't_ tell you anymore until you're OLDER! Understand?" She hoped this really would help him to understand. But, of course, it wouldn't.

"BUT-!"

"You're FAMILY, Dib!" Exclaimed Uncle Vennie.

"We take care of our own," added Uncle Bob in exhaustion from this highly unconvincing argument.

"What 'family' keeps _secrets_ from each other!? Especially like THIS!" Exclaimed Dib.

"Well...you're keeping secrets from your father," commented Uncle Vennie.

"That's 'cause he WON'T BELIEVE ME unless he does an _autopsy_ on my PARTNER!" Dib insisted in exhausted irritation.

"Look, Dib," started Aunt Patrina, but Uncle Bob interrupted.

"It's for your OWN GOOD. That's all! End of discussion!"

Dib pouted, knowing that when Uncle Bob decided something he had the one-track mind of a lead dog...or, wolf, rather. "Okay, FINE!" He exclaimed, turning to go, "But DON'T say I didn't WARN YOU! I can be pretty DANGEROUS when I'm IGNORANT!" Referencing Tak's estimation of himself, he stomped out and slammed the trailer door.

The other three just blinked, then Uncle Bob said, "Well, that went pretty well!"

Aunt Patrina took the time to give him an angry glare, while Uncle Vennie suggested, "Why don't we all get cornies and check out the Dunk-tank?"

0

* * *

0

Pouting as he wandered over towards the cotton-candy spinners, Dib eventually wondered when he would hear Tak's sarcastic mental voice. 'Did you think I wasn't there, Dib?' Came her obvious, sarcastic remark.

Sighing, Dib thought, 'No, but it's nice to hear the voice of someone who's _not_ hiding things from me...!' He glared as he reached said cotton-candy spinners and looked over at the Ferris-wheel where Gaz and Jon were inevitably lined up. For all the annoyance of having a younger sibling, at least he could usually find her when he needed to.

'Yeah, that's something I was interested in, as well...' thought Tak somewhat mystically.

'What?' Asked Dib, glad to finally be having a progressive conversation with someone.

'The weirdness of your extended family and the secrecy of them reminds me of something...well, it's rather old by now, but...' Tak slowed for a minute and thought about what this would mean if she actually said it.

'What?!' Thought Dib, glaring once again because she was being suspicious.

'Oh, well! I suppose you're not going to give up once I've mentioned it,' thought Tak off-handedly, then replied, 'It seems to me that they're all either some sort of monster, or supernatural creature. They even hinted at -really, implied- you somehow being a part of something...bigger. And I'm not sure if you've _noticed_, but being that your mother is missing, and it's_ her_ side of the family, it would be normal consider that this had something to do with her.'

Sighing once again and rubbing his forehead, Dib thought, 'At this point? I'm just about ready to believe _any_thing! ...Maybe even my sister's weird ideas about my eating-habits!'

Tak just raised a mental eyebrow, but said nothing. This was getting more and more interesting by the minute...and if it had anything to do with what she thought his mother was, then... Tak almost snickered, but then caught herself. The irony of this was just too fun!

'Tak, you're laughing again, I just know it,' thought Dib, and despite himself, he found his mouth turning up into a smile. 'It tickles!'

Smirking, Tak replied, 'I'm sorry, but the irony of all this is just-'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah, I find out that the paranormal creatures I've been observing and trying to expose are actually related to me, hah hah hah. You know, you can be really snarky when you want to be...not that I have any way to refute it.'

Laughing a bit before calming down, Tak said, 'Yeah; let's just be glad you didn't find out something even WORSE!'

'*Laugh* Yeah, like Zim's my twin brother or something, like a soap-opera!' Dib couldn't help but break into a large smile as he thought about this.

Tak held her head and tried her best to keep the hilarity from affecting her mental control, but she felt it slip just a little bit. 'Stop it! You're making me laugh too hard!'

Finding himself giggling from all the pent-up frustration, Dib finally looked up and said, "Hey, I wonder where Gaz and Jon went?"

Tak almost thought he was talking to her, but then realized he'd diverted his attention to searching for his sister. 'Isn't she on the Ferris-wheel? They were in line.'

'I'm looking, but I can't find them. Dang-it! After finding them, I lost 'em!' He "humphed" and looked around, peering past the cotton-candy spinner's booth, but couldn't see either of them.

A low, weirdly-familiar voice suddenly spoke next to him, "Hey, Dibber," which made said person jump. "Sshhh! Don't move! The Men in Black have found their way here," the man's voice explained. After a moment, Dib finally realized why the voice was weirdly familiar.

Turning his head slightly, he said, "Uncl-"

"Ssshhh!"

"Jon," said Dib more quietly, "What are you doing here? And where's Gaz?!"

"Ah, don't worry. She's safely back at Aunt Patri's. And we'd better do the same," replied Uncle Jon's low, quiet voice.

"No way," pouted Dib, folding his arms, "Why would I go back to a bunch of people who were _lying_ to me!?"

"Let's put it this way: what _choice_ do you have? It's the better of two evils; plus, your little sister's there -don't you want to take care of her?" Uncle Jon's reply was still just as quiet and low as it was before.

At this point, Dib almost acquiesced, but then he thought he spotted something. Was it...black? Something moving...like a wing? No, wait -there was a solid form far off in the crowd. "Nevermind that -I'll divert their attention. You guys just wait back there -I'll be alright!" Jon's surprised look was met with one more small comment, terse and given through gritted teeth, "I've got _her_ with me."

Uncle Jon didn't even have a chance to respond as Dib ran out into the crowd, successfully diverting the attention of said Men in Black.

Uncle Jon looked around and fretted a bit, before heading off back to Aunt Patri's trailer -that kid was going to get himself killed, he just knew it!

0

* * *

0

Dib ran down the fairway, wondering which way to go. He knew for sure that the Men in Black would be following him, unless his family members protected him. He didn't need to bother with them; if they'd been spying on and meddling with him for all these years, then they could do it again as they wanted. He just wanted to get out of there, and keep the Men in Black away from his sister.

'Curses!' Thought Dib frantically as he ran, 'I haven't got_ any_ idea where they are, and I haven't got any plan!'

'Why don't you run to some place where it'll be difficult for them to move in?' Suggested Tak, wondering how in the heck he got himself into these things: then remembering that she'd planned for this.

'Good idea!' Thought Dib, as he considered the layout of the amusement park. Although it had been a long time since he was last there, he remembered there were some "fun houses" and "obstacle course-thingies" in the other direction... 'I'll head on towards the fun-houses -there'll be some cramped spaces in there, especially the ones made for children!'

'Good. Then I'll try and help by sensing them and hiding your presence -but even with the ring, you're very far away- so it'll be difficult.' Tak felt the sweat rising on her skin. It wasn't just that she couldn't be there; but if they caught Dib, there'd be no telling what they could devise. She could even imagine them tapping into the psychic transmitter-ring and using it against her. That wasn't pleasant.

'Thanks,' thought Dib as he ran swiftly, then, as an afterthought, added, '...Partner.'

There was no need for reply to this obvious comment; after all, finding out that your family had been hiding something from you for so many years was not pleasant. It'd be nice to know there's someone on your side. Even if it's a dangerous space-alien with psychic powers...

Over in another area of the park, one mysterious-looking phantom said to another, "He's running towards the fun-houses!"

"Oh, good! He has _some_ sense, after all," replied the second, still looking out at the amusement park.

There would be little doubt later who these were, but for now, the focus remained on Dib and his escape.

Dib was rushing to the fun-houses as fast as his feet could carry him -which was quite fast, actually. Hey, he hadn't spend so much time chasing after paranormal phenomenon and Zim without getting some speed!

...Of course, control could've helped, too. He ran right into a giant-sized version of Blarnkey the Teddy Bear and bounced off, hitting the ground. Shaking his head, he looked up and an extremely scary scene suddenly flashed through his mind once more -he blinked and shook his head, knowing his sister's punishments always left scars of some kind. Especially when they were on_ him_...!

Jumping up, it wasn't long before he'd made it to the first fun-house. A horror-ride, the kind where you rode in little cars on tracks. But it was dark and open enough for adults to move about inside; he contemplated whether he should go in there or not, but due to Tak's urgings he went in anyways.

'Don't worry, I can actually sense their shielded minds: now that I've practiced, they stick out like sore thumbs!' Explained Tak as he snuck around the corner of the entrance where the little cars rolled on the track. 'But I can't tell what they're thinking, so I can't help with that; I only know where they are.'

"Hey! Kid! Where're you goin'?! Come back here!" Shouted the guy running the ride, but Dib was long-gone by then.

'Good! Then gimme that info -I'm gonna' need it in the dark, here.' Thought Dib as he hopped around corners.

Tak was almost confused for a moment, until she realized what he meant. 'Okay, I'll see if I can do that,' she replied, and transferred what she was sensing towards his mind. It was a bit of a trick, but she found it easy to maintain once she'd figured it out.

A small smile spread across his face as the sensation of the different minds faded intermittently into his head, until they stayed steady. 'Tak, have I ever mentioned how _cool_ it is to have you around?' He thought with a grin, slightly distracted long enough to lose focus.

'Only a _whole_ _lot_ lately,' she replied, but didn't have the energy to feel sarcastic. 'You'd better pay attention! This is hard,' she added this last part, although it wasn't really that difficult if she kept her focus.

'Oh, okay!' Thought Dib as he concentrated. One of the shielded minds had come so close that it almost got him. Just around the corner, he leapt out of the way in a roll and almost got run over by the cart carrying two very un-funned-looking passengers. The next minute he dashed around a corner, only to almost run into another one. This continued until he found a relatively concealed corner near the wall of the fun-house.

'I don't know how much longer I can keep this up,' thought Dib, 'I think they have some way of sensing me in here! What do you think?'

'Yeah, you'd better get out of there and into broad daylight. They'll converge on you, soon.' Replied Tak, wondering if there was a way to get past their mind-shielding without alerting them.

'I'm gonna' try and make it to the side-door,' thought Dib as he made a dash for it. The closest Man in Black to the door almost grabbed him, but he slipped by and slammed the door shut behind him. Looking up, he gasped, and dove down between the legs of several other Men in Black. Sheer adrenaline was fueling him now.

'Taa~akkk!' He thought in panic -though he hardly had time to beg for help. Running around a well-placed food-stall, he paused to gasp and then said, "This is _insane_!" After kicking himself for speaking out loud while trying to hide from the Men in Black, he looked around and tried think where he could go next.

Meanwhile, back in Aunt Patrina's trailer, Uncle Werewolf Bob flew in through the back door and gasped, "The Men in Black are EVERYWHERE!"

"Sheesh! When our kid gets himself in trouble, he really gets in big!" Stated Uncle Vennie with a sigh.

"What do we do?!" Asked the other Uncle Bob, as Gaz looked on with a grin. This was more interesting than that "Wild Ferret Fights" show on Wednesdays!

Aunt Patrina turned to glare at her and said, "Now, don't you dare~! That brother of yours is in danger, and that puts_ every one_ of us in danger! If we don't help him out now, we're all in _big_ trouble!"

Gaz pouted and moaned, "Aaa~www!" But acquiesced anyways. Dib sure would owe her one after this!

0

* * *

0

Back behind the food-stall with Dib, the opposite type of conversation was taking place. 'I'm going to make a break for it -I'm sure I can get to the next fun-house before they see me!'

'That's stupid! You're bound to be noticed -and besides, if you're caught, you still have that ring!' Exclaimed Tak mentally.

'That's -well, alright, then! I'll just, uh...cut off my own finger!' Thought Dib, his brainless courage revealing itself.

'Dib, that's just _dumb_; and you know it!' Replied Tak, not even bothering to argue with him on how he would manage it without a knife. 'Let's reconsider: they haven't come after you yet, and it's almost been a minute. That means that they either can't sense you, or they're hiding in wait. I can sense where they are, but we'll need a distraction to get you out of there.' Her wise advice was stinging in his head; but it was help.

'Okay,' thought Dib, mentally moaning, 'If it's a distraction, then...' Reaching up and grabbing some stuff from the food-stall -several hot-dogs and condiments- he hurled them at random people and watched them scream. He then ran off in the opposite direction, kicking a food-cart's brakes off it on the way and pushing it so it rolled towards the food-throwing commotion. Then, diving into a booth with stuffed toys, he hid beneath a big blue bunny and a green elephant as he waited for the people to pass.

'That...' thought Tak, but then decided that it just wasn't worth it. 'That was, ugh, nevermind! I think they're heading in that direction.'

'Good! Then I'll head for the obstacle-course fun-house!' Thought Dib as he took a quick look out from under the stuffed toys. 'The coast is clear. HAIYAH!'

Tak just sighed and shook her head. He was such a child. 'There's no time to pretend to be a ninja, so just stick to the plan!' She reminded him.

He headed back towards the fun-houses, this time for one with both an inside and outside part to it, with narrow walks and rope-bridges to cross. Just perfect! And the best part was, he was pretty sure they hadn't set foot inside there yet. Meaning that they weren't willing or were unable to? There was only one way to find out!

The line wasn't that long, but he didn't wait and slipped in around the edge of the entrance. The carnie didn't notice him this time, so he'd hoped the Men in Black wouldn't, either. At least until he was inside... The Men in Black did notice him, but they hesitated before going inside, one at a time.

'Well, it looks like you've found some place the Men in Black don't like to go...' thought Tak, smirking with a slight bit of victory. She knew it wasn't good to get conceited, but this was looking better... If they kept filing in, one at a time, then perhaps they could bottle-neck them into a trap? But she didn't have time to consider more possibilities, as the first Man in Black was approaching Dib's position.

"Lydia the Tattooed Lady" was playing over the speakers in this part of the fun-house area. The funny song was lost on Dib, as he finally got to where he wanted. 'The hanging punching-bags should slow 'em down!' He thought as he stopped after deftly moving through the obstacle. 'And now,' he thought, looking ahead of him. 'For the "Rickety Old Bridge" bit.'

'What are you thinking of?' Asked Tak, curiously.

'Just thinking of releasing the screws attaching the bridge as they cross it,' he thought back, pausing only to think this and let the last people cross it. Then, turning around, he waited until the Men in Black came to the hanging punching-bags.

'Don't you need a _tool_ to do that?' Questioned Tak, worried that he hadn't thought this through.

'Oh, don't worry; I always carry a Swiss-army knife with me,' he thought, as he pulled it out to have at the ready.

The Men in black finally reached the punching-bags, but Dib spotted them and pushed the bags towards them each time they tried to advance. Seeing that this wouldn't wouldn't last for long, Dib finally ran across the bridge, stopping once in front of it to see if they were following, then a second time in the middle. He just hoped that they didn't have the very same idea he'd had...just for once in his life, he wished that-

Suddenly, an announcement came over the speakers: "ATTENTION, EVERYONE. MAY WE PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION." This, of course, had gotten Dib's attention, although the Men in Black didn't seem to be affected by it. "THIS IS AN EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT. WE HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT THERE IS A BOMB HIDDEN SOMEWHERE IN THE PARK! PLEASE HEAD TOWARDS THE EXITS IN AN ORDERLY FASHION. WE HAVE ALREADY NOTIFIED THE POLICE. PLEASE EXIT IN AN ORDERLY FASHION. PL-"

Dib stopped paying attention as he noticed the Men in Black had reached him. He ran to the other side, just in time to loosen the screws holding the bridge. A Man in Black's hand had just brushed against his hair when he dropped down to the floor, fourteen feet below. Dib didn't waste time watching his little victory; instead, he ran back through the fun-house, only to be confronted by the guy in charge of it.

The amusement park fun-house attendant, aka "Advanced Carnie", said, "Hey! What do you think you're up to!? There's been a BOMB-THREAT! 'Common, out out OUT!" He ushered Dib out of the fun-house before he could get past, "Uh, uhm!" and pushed him outside.

Although Dib fully expected the Men in Black to be waiting there, he looked up from where he cringed behind his arms to find ...nothingness! The entire area had been cleared out, surprisingly quickly. He took the chance to run towards his aunt's trailer. 'Tak, I can't sense any of the Men in Black _any_where! What happened to them!?'

'You're right; I would've thought they'd pounce on you once the crowds cleared out -but they cleared out, too! Hhmm...this could be a new strategy... I'll have to keep a closer eye on them...' She thought, worried. This wasn't normal. They must've had some other reason for it. Other than that they were also concerned about a possible bomb.

'Good,' thought Dib, a little less than positive, 'Then Gaz and I can call our dad and get out of here!' The thought of finally leaving the place where they were vulnerable to the Men in Black, as well as their annoying family-members who seemed to keep everything a secret, made him smile wryly. 'Well, at least I can finally confirm my suspicions.'

Tak too was smiling wryly; although it wasn't for the same reason. 'That's for sure. Although I'm looking forward to their explanation in six or seven months!'

Frowning, Dib thought back, 'It's six. It's March -almost April. They said it'd be in time for my birthday, which is October 14. That means we've still got at least 25 more weeks of agonizing curiosity.' He moaned as he thought this last part. He _hated_ waiting for information!

'Don't be such a smeet!' Snapped Tak in irritation, 'I know your father is a scientist, but you're just going to have to learn some _patience_! And besides,' she added, in a more thoughtful tone, 'This might be more useful for us.'

'"Be more useful for us"?' Echoed Dib, as he saw the section of park nearing where his aunt's trailer was. 'I'll have to be more careful around here,' he thought as he slowed down to look around.

'I'm sure you know that our combined troubles of the Men in Black, moving my base, and capturing Zim, just to name a few, are our top priority right now,' she summed up, 'So we've got to keep focused. Even if they're hiding a few things, they're benign compared to the problems we have -in fact, they might even be convinced to _help_ us!'

'*Sigh* You know I'm not happy with that...' thought Dib, 'And not just because they lied to us. But they're my family, and no matter how weird and paranormal they are, my dad would_ eat my head_ if he found out I put any one of them in danger! I mean, look at what's happening, now! And this is just the_ first_ effects! What about if-'

Tak finally decided she'd had enough of this, and cut off his ranting. 'I know, I know!' She found she was actually leaning her head on her hand and sighing, 'You know, you're too _chivalrous_ for your own good! You know that, right?'

Dib just found himself grinning, 'Yeah, well, that's why I have _you_ to back me up!'

'I don't work miracles, lump-head.' Replied Tak succinctly.

'Well, now you're just being snippy,' thought Dib as he paused in front of the steps up to the little trailer.

"Go on in, kid," stated someone from the shadows, whom Dib mistakenly believed to be one of his uncles. Hey, they had been hanging around.

"Oh," said Dib as he realized he was pausing. He pushed open the door and walked in to find not only Gaz, Aunt Patrina, Uncle Werewolf Bob, Uncles Vennie, Jon, and Bob, but also a couple of gray-looking weird fellows. He'd never seen them before, but could barely recall them looking quite familiar.

"Oh!" "Well!" "Look who the cat dragged in!" Came the several different responses to his entrance.

Eying everyone with more than a little caution, Dib looked around and said, "Who are they?" pointing to the gray-looking new-comers.

Looking in the direction he was pointing, Aunt Patrina simply said, "Oh, yeah. Those are your phantom relatives. Meet the Phiros -Speritica and her husband Morphus- although I'm sure you've already met. There's also her other husband, Phoorosz, but he's outside. You must've seen him."

"Yeah; and we're the first of the Fantôme Du Marrage," added the husband inside, Morphus.

Dib raised his eyebrow at the mention of "her other husband", but just let it rest. He was far too tired right now, what with his other Men in Black problems and the sudden revelations about his extended family, to make a scene asking questions about it. Instead, he simply said, "Huh. I thought that was either Uncle Vennie or Bob."

Everyone else blinked for a second, before changing the subject. It was, again, Morphus Phiros, who spoke when he said, "I was wondering, did anyone happen to know why the Men in Black withdrew?"

Dib knew for sure that this question was directed at him, though indirectly mentioned, and so he said, "I don't know. We couldn't figure it out, either. It might be because they have a new strategy, or maybe they just really didn't want to be exploded by a bomb? ...Either way, we should just take advantage of it for now." He felt strangely in-the-know relating this information so decisively.

"Oh, and that reminds me," commented Aunt Patrina before Gaz's impatience came to an end, "Your sister was the one who came up with that idea."

"Yeah." "It was her idea." "Great plan." Were the mumbled and grumbled comments from around the room.

"Huh?" Said Dib in surprise.

Gaz simply walked towards her brother and said, "You OWE me one, Dib~!" She shook her little fist at her side as she said this, spitting his name like it was poison.

Dib didn't feel much like arguing with her -plus, it really_ had_ helped! So instead, he just rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, yeah. Thanks!" Then, as an afterthought, he added, "So, what do you want? Want me to buy you a new game or something?"

Gaz thought about it a minute, then said, "Well, I had been considering saving it up for a later date," Dib cringed as he thought of all the times she'd cashed in favors -and they hadn't been kindly to him- but instead she said, "But, now that you mention it~! With the new Gameslave 3 coming out, I'll only get one game with it... But, if you buy me 'Death Death Totalcon Remind', we'll make it even~!" She then grinned an evil little grin and said, "Dee~aaal?"

Blinking, Dib just said, "Yeah, okay!" Thinking he'd gotten off easy...

"Oh, and by the way!" Said Gaz, just as she was turning away, and turned to look at him once more, "Dad says that you've been spending too much money lately. He's cutting your allowance down!"

Dib's eye just twitched as he felt the tickle of Tak's ironic sense of humor tinkling in his brain. "Oh, great," was all he said.

In the meanwhile, as Tak was contemplating the various childish money-making things he could be doing, -such as a lemonade-stand- and Gaz enjoyed Dib's horrified eye-twitch while she munched on a sandwich she was finishing, the adults continued talking.

"So, has anyone called their parents yet?" Asked Speritica Phiros.

"We contacted their father earlier -their mother was trapped in a strange dimension during an experiment," replied Aunt Patrina calmly and with dignified grace. Mmmyep, that was not like her at _all_, thought Dib as he was ignored for the better part of this conversation.

"Goodness! That sounds -that's horrible!" Said Morphus, leaning over Speritica's shoulder.

"Yes!" Exclaimed Speritica, but calming down, she said, "And _why_ is it we haven't heard about this...?"

Although Aunt Patrina knew full well what they were implying, she didn't allow it to bother her. "We didn't _mean_ to, but because of the danger to, erm," she took a quick glance down at Gaz and then Dib, just barely a second, "Some members of the family, complete secrecy couldn't be avoided."

Phoorosz had just floated into the trailer, and he said, "But that's not _fair_!"

"You could've at_ least_ come down to Egypt and told us," replied Speritica calmly, but clearly annoyed at having been left out of the loop.

"It was absolutely imperative -the children were too young at the time," came Aunt Patrina's simple reply.

"How old?" Was Phoorosz's reply.

"Only two and three," replied Aunt Patrina, "Dib is the oldest, of course."

"Yes, I know," replied Speritica through clenched teeth. Dib briefly wondered how a phantom could do that. "But_ I'm_ the Matriarch, an-"

"YOU'RE a phantom; Muertas is the Matriarch now," replied Aunt Patrina simply. She wasn't being disrespectful; however, she wouldn't back down.

"Honey, if they thought it was that _important_, then maybe we should just drop it, now?" Asked Phoorosz as he approached his shared wife.

She still appeared extremely angry, but she consented and turned to Dib instead. He was staring with rapt attention, fully intent on this perplexing conversation. He also wished he'd been taking notes during this. "Is he -" she stopped when she saw the anxious expressions around her. "Exactly how old is he?"

"Eleven and a half," replied Aunt Patrina, and Dib was feeling annoyed that she answered for him. "And he almost passed all of the questions."

Speritica raised her eyebrows with interest and then said, "Almost all of them?" Then she turned back to look at him, and he almost felt sure that he'd seen that semi-angry, potentially frightening, stare before. But he just shook it off. "What do _you_ think about all this?"

Pouting and folding his arms, Dib turned his head away slightly as he said, "Don't look at me! I'M not the one with all the SE~EECRETS!" Then, looking up at Aunt Patrina, he glared. "It's not like you guys really _care_! I'm not going to get any answers, just because of _one_ simple little thing! Like I'm a scaredy-cat who'd wanna' hide in the dark or something! Ple~eeaase!"

Speritica raised her eyebrows again in shock, "One!?" Then she turned to give the other adults in the room a concerned look, before looking back at Dib again, who was continuing to rant.

"AND! If I was REALLY that much of a scaredy-cat, do you think I'd be cooperating with a potentially _dangerous_ alien, to capture a _criminally-insane_ alien!? HAH! I'd like to see THAT work!"

"SHUT-UP, DIB!" Shouted both Uncle Bob and Uncle Jon. Uncle Vennie would've shouted, but he had his mouth full of a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich.

"Don't worry, small Dibbe-pillar," mentioned Speritica once she'd set her eyes on him and he'd quieted, "The answers may come earlier, those that you seek."

Dib just eyed her questioningly, the long moment lasting until Aunt Patrina's phone rang and she informed everyone that Professor Membrane was on his way.

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TO BE CONTINUED...YET AGAIN~!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm sorrys, everybody! But, yet again, this chapter was apparently too large for the upload! Sos, stay tuned for the next update, which will be very, very quick!

TO BE UPDATED IMMEDIATELY...! -


	6. Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard? Yet Again

DISCLAIMER: Please just copy-and-paste the last disclaimer...! Because, apparently, it's still continued!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, REALLY?! SERIOUSLY, Fan-fiction dot net!? *Sighs* Anyways, my novel-length chapter continues~! With the third part! (Just realized how many parts this will have...*Shudders* Did I really just type that much!? I'm...actually amazed with that, myself! But, it's sort-of funny, considering that all of this is happening within the space of a few short days! *Laughs*)

...IT IS CONTINUED...AGAIN:

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After Dib, Gaz, and Professor Membrane returned home, with many questions still burning in his head, Dib still couldn't get that mysterious gaze out of his head. He rambled into the kitchen and sat down, bonking his head on the table. That always seemed to help. Although Tak didn't seem to think so.

'Don't do that, you'll damage whatever small amount of brain-cells you have left!' Exclaimed Tak with a smirk. Well, technically, that was true. Brain-damage due to bonks to the head was normal.

Dib briefly glanced up before thinking, 'Hey, Gaz didn't seem at all shocked by that stuff...but knowing her, she's probably found some mysterious way to know all about it...'

'That, _or_, someone told her,' replied Tak easily.

'Hey, they said that they couldn't tell us until "the time was right", and Aunt Patri even said that we were "too young" after my mom disappeared, and that it was "dangerous"!' Thought Dib as he raised his head up from the table.

'So?' Thought Tak, 'You heard it yourself! Both your Aunt Patri and that Speritica phantom each mentioned a Matriarch -that would mean that the_ women_ hold the power in the family.'

'That... Okay, so...that makes some kind of sense...and she mentioned that my grandmother Muertas is the Matriarch now, so that means that...it was Grand-mama Muertas' decision to hide the truth from us!...so, no, wait! Even if that's true, that _still_ doesn't mean that they TOLD Gaz anything!' Thought Dib, narrowing his eyes a bit.

'Then, why don't you just _ask_ her?!' Thought Tak in irritation, putting her head in her hand.

'Hmmm...good point!' Thought Dib, just as he saw Gaz coming into the kitchen. "Hey, Gaz...?" He asked, "Did you happen to know about all this stuff...you know, with our extended family...?"

"Yeah," she said easily as she grabbed a juice and a peach and apple from the refrigerator.

"What?! How!?" Exclaimed Dib, who still managed to be surprised, even after all that had happened. "And since WHEN?!"

"Easy. I just read mom's diaries. Last week when I noticed that little doggy going into her bedroom, you know the one. He came out of some sort of dimensional hole." Gaz said as she turned to go.

"DIARIES!?" Exclaimed Dib, "As in, more than ONE?!"

"*Sigh* Yes, Dib! The 's' usually indicates plurals!" Replied Gaz in irritation. "Oh, and_ you're_ not going to read them! It's a girl thing. You wouldn't understand." Just as Dib was about to counter with another question, she said, "And by the way, _don't_ bother me! I'm having a gaming session with a new friend, and I DON'T want to be disturbed." She walked out into the living room, leaving Dib sitting there, pouting.

"I DON'T belong to a Matriarchy," he seethed as he glared after his sister.

Tak just laughed, further inducing horrible anger from him. 'Well, we can all chat about it _later_,' she thought, changing the topic with a slight grin.

But Dib didn't want to change it. 'I mean, I'M not as STUPID as everyone says! And HERE I am, with a-a controlling sister, and a-a, paranormal, secretive family members! I- I mean, JUST WHAT DO THEY THINK!? THEY THINK I'M JUST GONNA' LIE DOWN AND NOT ACT LIKE A MAN!?'  
Then he suddenly jumped up and shouted, "WELL, FINE, THEN! I'LL JUST FIND OUT THE ANSWERS WITHOUT ALL YOUR HELP! THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S TALKING!" Then he promptly ran out of the room.

Coming up the stairs from his lab, Professor Membrane looked around and said, "Huh. I could've sworn I heard my son up here. Huh..." before turning and noticing that the kitchen light was out. Huh. "I wonder how that happened?" He asked, before turning to press the Automatic Light-bulb Changing button.

Blinking and staring, Tak just wondered. Mostly about the nature of the universe, but...also about how in the heck she was going to deal with his new-found "macho". Oh, well. At least now he'd be willing to work on their plan...if his big-headedness didn't get in the way. She sighed. 'Never work with animals or children...!' To quote a famous actor.

Everyone was working on their own things. Tak and Dib with the Men in Black problem and moving her base, Gaz with her games, and Professor Membrane with his lab. And so, it'd come as no surprise that _some_one was trying to find out what they were working on.

In particular, instead of a mysterious phantom, it was Mr. Aho, the ghost, who was still trying to figure out what Dib and Tak were planning. It didn't work. Because they kept using their telepathy to talk, he found it harder and harder to understand what they were working on. He finally gave up and decided to report back to Harry the Bigfoot, anyways.

Back upstairs in the attic, both Dib and Tak continued to plot something. Well, it was a lot better than being either bored or listening to Dib's macho-ism rants!

'Geeze, Dib. I know you're _frustrated_, but please! We don't have to keep going over this!' Thought Tak as she tried to work out a plan with him. He was being stubborn, and not only would he not consider any plans to involve the Swollen Eyeball Network, but he kept re-hashing his old pain.

'But I mean, THINK ABOUT IT!' Moaned Dib as he grasped the air with his hands. 'IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! Is it!?'

'That's not our _problem_!' Thought Tak, snapping him out of his rants with a rather painful mental sting. 'Right now, our problem is _moving_ my base, _destroying_ the Men in Black, and getting the Swollen Eyeball Network to_ work_ with us!' Then, once he'd rolled his eyes, she added, 'NOT to MENTION, that we STILL have to work to CAPTURE ZIM!'

The reminder of the danger she was in, as well as their shared mission, forced Dib to relent and say, "Al_right_! You're right, I guess. We have to do this." He let his head lean back in the chair he was in, before he thought with a sigh, 'What are our choices?'

'Good,' thought Tak with relief, 'We're going into the place only once-' she pointed to a map which showed the location of her base '-the perimeter is being watched constantly. If we have to move it, then the base must be moved only _once_! We can't risk the chance they'll discover it again. Once I'm settled into the new place, it'll be easy to take them on. But in order to do_ any_ of this, then we're going to need a diversion!'

'And THAT'S where the Swollen Eyeballs come in,' thought Dib with a tired little nod. His head felt like it was heavier than normal. Maybe all the excitement of the day was beginning to catch up with him?...

'Exactly,' replied Tak, ignoring his tired head-bobbing. 'Though Zim's exploits are usually explosive, it's still foolish to rely on it. We need to have someone we can be sure will follow through, and those Swollen Eyeballs are just right for this!'

Dib found himself pulling his head up from where it leaned on his chest. 'Oh, yes. I know that.' Then he thought, 'But why are we going to be _using_ them? I mean, first of all, it'll put them all in danger! Second, we'll need to have them cooperate with us, but wouldn't we have to tell them what's going on with us? I mean, this isn't going to work if they think you're suspicious!'

'That's why we're going to_ lie_ to them,' replied Tak, shaking her head. 'We can simply tell them that...we're going on the _offensive_! To take down the Men in Black! I'm sure they've all thought about it...'

'What part of that is lying?' Asked Dib, raising his eyebrows.

'Nothing! Just that...we're going to have to make up_ some_ kind of story to tell them. Otherwise, they'll realize something's up and we'll _both_ be in big trouble!'

'But how can we do that?' Thought Dib, 'You'll have to convince them that whatever it is they're doing is going to work towards taking down the Men in Black! But _this_ plan is just to create a _diversion_ to move the base!'

Tak snapped finally, whirled around and thought, 'I didn't say it was a_ perfect_ plan!'

'Then what _did_ you say!?' Exclaimed Dib mentally.

'I don't -*sigh* I didn't mean it like that...' Tak rubbed her head and then turned back to the diagrams on the screens and said, 'Let's go over it again. This time, with the time-lines. The base will be ready to move by Tuesday. The Swollen Eyeball Network's meet-up is Thursday. And Zim's plan to do...whatever it is he's going to do with that ...ulgh! "Jellied bones" thing, is probably going to happen this week. I've been unable to track him, but _you've_ had enough experience with that, so I'll just let you do it. Then we'll have to act fast -either we use Zim's plan to divert the Men in Black's attention, or we rely solely on the Swollen Eyeballs to do it-' she turned around to find Dib resting his head on his chest again, this time fast asleep. '*Sigh* I should've known this would happen.'

She turned back to the diagrams and thought about the pain of having to concoct this plan. It wasn't going to be easy, and Dib was about as reliable as an untrained puppy. She looked back at him and smirked. Well, at least he _looked_ like it.

Looking back at her diagrams, she thought about how she was going to convince the Swollen Eyeballs. It wasn't going to be easy -that was the _plan_. It also wasn't going to be fool-proof, or even Swollen Eyeball-proof, and there was a good chance that it wouldn't fly with Dib. He also had too many exclusions -honestly, not using his father's pride and influence to their advantage, not to mention the rest of his mysterious family's? Now that was just plain _stupid_!

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The next morning, Dib awoke and shook the sleep out of his head. Yawning sure wasn't going to help... He eventually managed to stretch and stumbled out of bed. Ayep. This was one of those hurts-to-move mornings! Holding onto his desk-chair, he blinked as he noticed an incoming call for him. That was odd...they weren't using normal means of communication, so it couldn't be the Swollen Eyeball...

Pressing the button, he was shocked when Agent Dark Booty's head showed up on the screen.

"Wh-wh-what?!" He exclaimed in almost a whisper. Why was Agent Dark Booty showing up on his screen?! There was supposed to be a black-out!_ No_ electronic communications!

"Oh, thank goodness! I thought for sure...!" Agent Dark Booty said, making Dib even more confused. "I've only got a couple of seconds. The amusement-park event worried me. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"O-oh..." replied Dib, suddenly realizing just how much Dark Booty cared. He'd probably taken to him like a grandson or something. "I'm sorry, it was unexpected! They just-"

"Can't talk; just checking. Goodbye." Replied Agent Dark Booty hurriedly, then the screen went blank.

"Ooohkaaay... Goodbye." Replied Dib, still stunned. Early-morning stare-itis wasn't helping. He was really going to regret having to lie to him...but maybe he could take him into their confidence...? It was worth a try; instead of telling all the Swollen Eyeballs, he could at least try and make Agent Dark Booty see that Tak wasn't a threat... Although, the fact that she could possibly control Dib with incredible psychic powers from that necklace probably wouldn't help things... Darnit! He _really_ hated figuring out paranormal intrigues before breakfast!

'"Paranormal"?' Thought Tak as she heard his ramblings in his head, 'Hah! More like Pair-o-MORONS!'

'Oh, don't be so mean!' Dib thought back, 'I mean, after all! He's taken a big risk just to check in on me! He's always doin' stuff like that...so, I guess he's like, my mentor or something...? Anyways, I was thinking of letting him in on our little secret -just to convince the other Swollen Eyeballs.'

'Dib,' thought Tak back, this time not even sighing, 'That is not only a _stupid_ idea, for several reasons, but mainly because he's more protective of you and therefore would naturally consider me a threat,' she paused to take a breath, 'But also, I don't think the timing would be good. I've decided to take a far more...subtle approach to moving the base.'

'Subtle? What do you mean by that?' Asked Dib, whirling in his desk-chair, 'I thought we were going with the whole, "diversion" thing?'

'Yeah, well...I've found a much better way out of it,' replied Tak simply. 'In any case, after the final sale, we'll be able to move it.' Tak smiled happily at how simply this plan turned out.

'Woah, woah, wait a minute!' Thought Dib, 'What do you mean, "the final sale"?! Aren't you being a little too vague?'

'Aren't I allowed to be vague if it's _my_ business?!' Asked Tak in a lighter tone, almost liltingly. She really just wanted to mess with him. It was early in the morning, and she hadn't had anything interesting happen since last night; she didn't need to sleep.

'No!' Exclaimed Dib, much to her surprise. 'Look, I'm_ sick_ of people keeping things from me, like you already know, so I _demand_ to know what's going on!' His demanding mental tone so early in the morning was surprising to Tak: usually he wasn't so willful as he was annoying.

'Alright, it's not like I _wasn't_ going to tell you,' she stated that last part just to be clear. 'But, in any case, I finally managed to make a sale to someone whom I know will_ not_ be influenced by the Men in Black.'

'Who?' Asked Dib, afraid he wouldn't like the answer.

'Now, don't get your briefs in a bunch-' she mentioned quickly, 'This person is ONLY involved in the sale, and it was the safest bet! We also won't have to involve the Swollen Eyeball Network this way.'

'Oh-kaayy...' Dib was wondering why she was taking so long to say it. 'Just get it over with, already!' He thought.

'I am _getting_ to it!' She replied snappily, 'But you're going to be upset, so I wanted you to know that THEY WON'T BE INVOLVED in anything OTHER than THE SALE. It's Membrane Labs.'

'WHAT!?' Exclaimed Dib, shooting up to his feet and grabbing his head. He felt like shouting outright. 'What do you MEAN!? I thought we agreed to-'

'HE'S NOT INVOLVED IN ANYTHING!' Shouted Tak mentally, interrupting his shocked rant. 'Look, I _understand_ your concerns; but this sale is LEGITIMATE. They were looking to expand their laboratories. They couldn't get anyone else to sell at a decent price because it's a _seller's market_ now. They were willing to take the costs of renovating the building and property if the price was lower. Since I "wanted to sell it because it was a stock bomb", I easily made the sale. The sale is through the COMPANY and their SUBSIDIARIES, and NOT Professor Membrane himself! Is that _clear_?!'

Pouting with his arms folded, Dib simply thought, 'You didn't have to _yell_!'

Tak grabbed her head and almost screamed in frustration. '_You_ were the one who was yelling!' She mentally shrieked.

'YE~AH, but YOU were the one who was-' Then Dib sighed and put a hand to his head, 'I'm getting a headache and I'm hungry. We'll talk about this later!' As he walked out the door to go downstairs, he heard Tak sigh and mention something about actors and animals and kids.

Getting himself a large bowl of Franken-chokies, Dib wondered about the direction his life was heading. Knowing life, it probably had something rather unfair waiting for him...but he'd planned on so much! He'd planned on becoming a Paranormal Investigator, he'd planned on capturing Zim and exposing him as an alien, therefore proving that alien life not only exists, but is also capable of traveling long distances through outer-space. He'd planned on also showing the world other mysterious phenomenon, like Bigfoot or Loch-ness! He'd also planned on making sure said paranormal monsters and stuff weren't taken advantage of or used for nefarious purposes...

All of that seemed to be going south, now, that he had to work side-by-side with a potentially-dangerous alien psychic, who also wanted to get rid of his hated adversary. It wasn't just that she was a psychic who'd put a ring on his finger which he could never take off, and that would allow her to control him any time she wished... Thinking about that made him shudder. No, it was the fact that he couldn't_ tell_ anyone! Not even his own father, whom he wanted to convince the_ most_!

And if they didn't succeed in their current endeavor, just where would that leave _him_...? Thinking about it made his head spin, and this was interrupted by Tak's annoyance-time. She seemed to like playing with him... Pouting and growling, he thought, 'Al_right_! I get it!... It's no use moaning about what hasn't happened!... But, seriously? Did you HAVE to go on with that, "whining baby worried about spilling his milk" bit~?'

'No, not really,' replied said annoyance-time playing Tak truthfully, 'But, I haven't had anyone to talk to _all_ night -Irkens don't sleep, you know!'

'Heh, yeah. And you don't seem too interested in my dreams~, either.' Thought Dib with a slight ironic huff.

'Yeah, well...' Tak thought about it a minute, 'Actually, I've been thinking: this whole, "taking down the Men in Black" thing is lacking something...and I've actually discovered that their mental block on psychic powers seems related -like there's some sort of shared signal-feed protecting them. If we can tap into that signal, then disrupt it, we could possibly take out their entire operation by telekinesis!'

'...What?' Asked Dib, who was wondering why he was eating sugary cereal when he was really, really hungry, and what he really needed was some bacon, eggs, and toast!

'Shut up about your stomach for a second,' replied Tak quickly, 'I need to run this by _some_one, and you're the closest.'

'Yeah, well, so's my _stomach_!' Replied Dib with a smart-aleck smirk, then he got up to get a pan and some of said bacon and eggs. And toast! 'Don't worry, though, I'm listening.'

'Ookaaay...' thought Tak, completely impressed he managed to make such a remark. Usually he wasn't smart-aleck-ey at all. Huh. 'Anyways, the point I was making was that their psychic protection seems to be shared amongst them. Like a signal of some sort. If I can tap into that signal, and then disrupt it, it might be the first step in mentally taking down their entire organization! ...So, what do you think?!' She was eager to try out this new plan. But she'd need someone to practice on, first...!

'Huh. Well, that sounds cool. But what if you're found out? I mean, even Madame Vicious didn't want to do something to alert their attention! So what would you do?'

Tak clicked her tongue in annoyance. Well, he _did_ have a good point. 'What I would do is infiltrate the MINUTE their defenses are down!'

'But you'll be inside their cybernetic network without any_ protection_!' Exclaimed Dib, 'What part of "DANGEROUS" don't you understand!?'

'Okay, so it'll be hard work!' Exclaimed Tak in retaliation, 'But it'll be _useful_! They wouldn't expect a psychic to be SO powerful, they could both interrupt their psychic-protection signal, AND explode all their machinery!' Then she thought a bit, hand on her chin, 'Of course, I could always have the base's computer or the ship to back me up.'

'The computers? Hey, if you're going into human electronics, what makes you think it'll work? You're an Irken, and I get that you're a cybernetic species; but how are you going to affect computers with operating systems you aren't familiar with? I mean, would it even _work_?' Dib's mind was exceptionally quick today. Maybe it was the sugar-rush?

'Oh, that's okay,' thought Tak dismissively, 'I'll just practice on_ you_ and your computers! I hope that won't be too much trouble.'

'Of course not,' thought Dib, 'In fact, I thought that you would think that.'

'Well, I thought that you would think that I would think that.' Replied Tak easily.

'I thought-' Dib suddenly stopped and then said, 'No, no, we aren't starting THAT kind of thing!'

Tak's tinkling laughter faded out in his head as Dib decided to pay more attention to his bacon that was burning. He _really_ wanted that bacon!

After eating a good, hearty breakfast, complete with even a side-salad with tomatoes, Dib ran upstairs to get his school stuff. For some reason, he didn't even mind that he'd be a few minutes late for school. He'd woken up late, but he still didn't bother with thoughts about Ms. Bitter's punishments. All thoughts were on watching out for Zim and his absurd plans; as well as considering that Tak's base would be ready to move by Tuesday, if all went as planned.

The sale was the easiest and simplest solution: not only would it keep the Men in Black from interfering, but the moving of the base would be pretty difficult to distinguish from the machinery and materials being brought in to rebuild the property. It was also a good chance for his father's Membrane Laboratories to expand.

The thought of that made him slow down a bit. Though his father had taken the stage-name "Membrane", it was really the name of the labs both his mother and father had created, for the sake of furthering scientific achievements. And since his mother was trapped in another dimension of some sort after a horrible experiment-gone-wrong, her extended family was "protecting" them from...what? by keeping them in the dark about certain things. It really was quite maddening.

Honestly, couldn't they just tell his father what they were? Of course, his father was rather ...reluctant, to say the least. He would most likely try to dissect one of them just to prove his point! ...But, how else could they prove it? Ah, poor Dib was at a loss! In any case, he'd made it to school in time -perhaps if he sprinted, he'd make it to class just as the bell rang?

Just as he jumped into a dash, someone caught him and pulled him to the side. He found himself knocked against a wall as they fell into a corner near a trash-can. "Aughhph!" Said Dib as he hit the wall, then he exclaimed, "What the HECK!?" Suddenly a hand was put over his mouth as the person who'd pulled him shushed him.

Finally getting a good look at his unknown yanker, Dib whispered, "Pooki!"

"Yes! It'z me. But pleaze keep it down," she whispered, her accent remarkably good, considering she didn't normally leave Targe`t. Of course, she knew Eenglish -just that speaking it and typing it online were two different things. "I've brought something for you."

"Really?" Replied Dib, interested now, "What?!"

Handing him a disc, plain-looking and unmarked, Pooki replied, "It'z a program to keep the Men in Black from hacking or tracking you electronically! I made it up myzelf! Uz kidz gotta' stick together!"

"Wow..." Mumbled Dib as he stared at the simple, plain, unassuming ring of usefulness.

"Now," Pooki looked around, "I've got to get out of here before Uncle Bob notices. Chewie managed to sneak me into Uncle Vennie'z coat, but..."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean, 'snuck you into Uncle Vennie's coat'?" Asked Dib, confused.

"Sssh! Well, this iz an 'animated projection' of me, or az I like to call, 'The Hard-Thought Program'. Like a hard-light hologram; only not simply using light. This projectz me az a reprezentation of myzelf which can interact with other thingz az if I'm touching them. Like a telekenezis-based avatar, or something. The technopathz helped me. But it still requires a phyzical thing to project it. I'm using these floating technodez to keep it running. See?" Pooki faded out for a second and Dib saw, indeed, that there were four floating round things.

"Wow. Cool! Hey, maybe you and Tak can-" started Dib, but Pooki shushed him again.

"I can't stay long! Just run the program and everything should be great! See ya'!" She faded out again, this time the four tiny technodes floating away into the darkness.

Dib looked down again at the disk in his hands. 'If Tak and I use this, then maybe we actually _can_ hack into the Men in Black's minds and destroy them! Great job, Pooki!' Then he looked up and saw a teacher standing over him.

"What are you doing out here?! The bell's already rung!" Exclaimed said Teacher. He was a haggard-looking old fellow, with dark circles under his eyes, although he couldn't have been past his twenties.

"Erm! Sorry, just looking for, er, something I dropped!" Replied Dib quickly before speeding away.

Tak mulled over this new information from the safety of her attic room. The shock from Dib was enough to get her attention; but the disk from his cousin Pooki was more than enough to keep it. 'If it works well enough, we can use it to our advantage...But of course, nothing goes as planned...apparently.' This wasn't too difficult. Things were falling into place. She didn't trust it. After that _last_ experience, she'd learned not to trust things going according to plan.

Even though Dib had already made it to his seat in class, he was sure Ms. Bitters would come out of her "Doom doom doom" speech and notice him. Funny, it was pretty early in the day -of course, everything was "funny" where Ms. Bitters was concerned. She'd run wire across the classroom just to demonstrate how stupid it was to think one could get past laser-sensors. And about how doomed they'd be if they did.

Dib smiled to himself as he thought about how he and Tak would be infiltrating the Men in Black without even moving from one place! The bell for the second period rang, and Ms. Bitters straightened up and announced it was time for Music class. As the kids filed out, she also announced that Dib had detention. Dib frowned and thought, 'Oh, just _great_!' but he didn't mind it as much. Maybe he could even sneak out...? He'd managed it once in third grade...

Of course, they'd updated the security since then...

'Don't worry about it,' thought Tak, making his head snap up on the way to Music class, 'I'll just get it later... I've also got to update the security systems on my ship.'

'Well, Detention should only take a couple of hours...I have the feeling like they'd keep us longer, but the skool-board wanted to cut down on the amount of zombie attacks after dark. Parents were getting concerned.'

'That sounds like a problem...' thought Tak sardonically.

'Heh, yeah...' replied Dib, then he saw the foreboding door to the Music Room approaching. 'And now the fun_ really_ begins...'

'*Laugh* You don't like music?...' replied Tak amusedly.

'Er...let's just say that MUSIC doesn't like ME...!' He thought as he entered the door. The annoying thumb-piano that was given him was partially because he was all-thumbs with an instrument, and partially because the music teacher hated him. He felt sure the teacher was making fun of him.

The song they were playing was, "Mary Had a Little Lamb", and he moaned in response to the announcement. 'Are you..._sure_ you don't want to go...do something _else_...?!' He thought hopefully.

'Oh, no! I've just _got_ to hear this!' Replied Tak with glee.

Dib groaned again and thought, 'Great...!'

The teacher began the song and they clumsily followed along -some of the kids in the class were even worse than he was. Some of them weren't even trying, and some were happy to get this reprieve from the boring ordinary classes, and were playing with gusto on their recorders and xylophones. The occasional kid even tried to use his mouth on an instrument which didn't require it.

Listening hard, Tak tried to reconcile the original tune with what it was he was playing. But it wasn't working. 'Dib, are you even _trying_?!'

'I _was_ until you said that!' He thought in annoyance. 'I can't seem to get this thing to do what I want!'

'Well, for one thing, you're _trying_ too hard! Just visualize the movements in your mind, then move your hands to match it!'

'It's not that easy!' Thought Dib, stopping a minute. 'I've _tried_ that! And it just doesn't-'

'Then maybe you should learn from rote?' Thought Tak with a sigh.

'Why exactly are my musical skills so important?' Replied Dib in annoyance, looking up to see if anyone else was paying attention to him; not even the music teacher was looking.

'Because it's simply astounding how you can't operate an instrument to save your _life_!' Replied Tak, shaking her head and putting a hand on it.

Dib just pouted and thought, 'Since when would _that_ ever happen...?'

'Oh, don't worry; since we've already thought of it, it's sure to happen.' Replied Tak simply.

'Murphy's Law,' agreed Dib. '"The most desirable situation will not present itself when most needed."'

Tak smirked, 'Exactly!' Then, after a moment, 'So, you still think you can sneak out of detention?'

Smirking himself now, Dib thought, 'Yeah, well...that was a while ago. They've changed the security since then.'

Tak was snickering as she was reminded of trying to sneak around the tight security in the underground Smeet Training Facilities.

'Looks like kids are the same everywhere,' thought Dib, shaking his head. 'I wonder if you were the same in school there as you were here?'

'Nah, not really. I was trying to act like a normal human -preferably a cool one. Of course, even _you_ believed it!' Tak put her head on a hand, bored with running diagnostics that hadn't finished yet.

'Well, your hologram was really, _really_ good! Plus, you were nice to everybody. Even those popular kids!' Dib realized that he hadn't been paying attention and looked up. The music teacher was trying to explain something about keyboards when a kid started banging on the already-much-used piano. Nope, no one was suspicious, yet.

'Yeah, most of the time I couldn't care _less_ what they were saying... They only talked about stupid stuff...like other kids.' Tak checked the diagnostic for what was the hundredth time, but it wasn't finished. '_Speaking_ of suspicions...I'm planning on moving the base when the trucks from Membrane Laboratories come to do the construction. The Surveyors have already been there. They're fast, but I think we'll be ready in time to get everything out by the time the big construction's finished and they're moving out the scraps. We can disguise the moving ships as garbage-trucks or something.'

'Hey, won't that leave a giant_ hole_ down there? How will the structure handle the shift in weight after you're gone?' Asked Dib curiously. After all, it was a pertinent question.

'It's almost a hundred feet underground! I doubt they'll notice it. But don't worry; it's not near any fault-lines or anything. Structurally, the building will be fine unless they decide to extend the labs that far down.'

'Wow! ...You really thought of _everything_. Too bad the Men in Black ruined it.' Dib observed appreciatively.

'You have _no_ idea...' Tak thought with ire.

'Are you still thinking of using that "fake base" idea?' Asked Dib.

'No...not really. If we can keep them occupied with other things, and stay completely unnoticed... No, you're right -we still need to make them think it's somewhere else.' Tak answered her own question and his. This was getting more than confusing enough!

'You got any ideas? By the way, where's your new base going?' Asked Dib, looking down at his little thumb-piano. It's not like he had anything else to do with it. Now, if it was a computer keyboard -that would be_ easy_!

'I was thinking underneath that cemetery outside of town. It's out of the way, and nobody wants to go near it.' Replied Tak thoughtfully as she read the diagnostic read-out which had just finished part of its scan.

'That's a _really_ bad idea!' Replied Dib, 'Don't you know how _possessive_ ghosts can get?! Okay, jokes aside, I mean, _seriously_! They won't take to the "desecrating of their final resting-places", and I don't care_ how_ weird my family is -they just _won't_!'

'Yeah...burying your dead will do that...' Thought Tak. 'We're moving the base before taking out the Men in Black, so maybe it should be somewhere near your place? If you're seen going somewhere strange, they're going to suspect it anyways.'

'Yeah...' Thought Dib, until he finally realized what she meant. 'HEY!... Why_ my_ place?'

'I just _said_!' Tak replied in annoyance, 'It's because they'll follow you; if you have to come to my base for whatever reason...'

'What about a teleporter?' Thought Dib testily. He was still worried about any involvement of his family.

'That will still take up space. And unless you like the idea of your father unexpectedly _finding_ it, I suggest we use other means.'

'It wouldn't be too hard if I just didn't GO to your base until we take out the Men in Black!' Dib exclaimed mentally.

'WE CAN'T COUNT ON THAT!' Tak exclaimed back just as loudly. Mentally. 'What if something goes_ wrong_? What if you _have_ to go to base? What if the attack on the Men in Black doesn't go as planned?! If we take too many things for granted, then things will end up just like my_ last plan_ -what a bust!'

'*Sigh* I guess it was too much to hope for...' Thought Dib. 'The only other places I frequently go are to skool or to Zim's place to spy on him. And since the Skool already has that stupid "Underground Classrooms" thing...yeah. You might not want to mess with that. Though I've always been curious about that...'

'Don't worry, I won't,' replied Tak with the same disturbed look on her face as he had. 'Okay...well, the only other option is underneath your house. I can put my base much further down than-'

'That's NOT going to happen!' Exclaimed Dib, again mentally. 'If you do that, my dad's _bound_ to notice!'

'This isn't getting us anywhere; you _know_ it's stupid to assume that they won't find it again if they track you!' Tak leaned her forehead on her hand in exhaustion, not even looking at the read-out screens now.

'But we could take them out_ before_ that!' Replied Dib, annoyed.

'It's not a good idea to attempt_ that_ before we have any idea what's on that disc! We don't even know how to _do_ that yet!' Tak replied, irritated.

'*Sigh* I know, I know!' Thought Dib. He looked up to see that the music teacher was now entwined in the piano-chords. He considered what kind of trouble she'd get into on her own and sighed outwardly now. 'I _guess_ if you moved into a house next door, then that'd be alright. My dad's always getting annoyed at those neighbors to our left because their dog can inexplicably get past the security fence: he thinks it's a failure on his part.'

Tak nodded. 'Good point! If it's nearby, then it wouldn't be so odd for you to stop by a neighbor's house for something.'

Dib smirked, 'Like to borrow a cup of sugar or something!'

'Right.' Tak also smirked. 'Looks like_ I_ have to spend the day convincing one of your next-door neighbors to move out by the end of the week! I can always plant the base underneath it before they leave if I need to.'

'Cool.' Thought Dib, then he rolled his eyes, 'I'm glad we finally got _that_ settled!' Then he thought of something. 'You remember how we were talking about that cemetery and ghosts being possessive...?'

'Ohhh no!' Replied Tak, picking up on his train of thought. He was considering putting the fake base for the Men in Black to find under that cemetery. 'Won't they just get mad at us? Instead of attacking the Men in Black?'

'Yeah...maybe. But maybe not...? I dunno.' Thought Dib, looking back down at his very useless thumb-piano. And wondered if they made these things in Qwerty...

'We'd better know by the end of tomorrow; otherwise, things are going to get rough.' Replied Tak succinctly.

'I get it! *Sigh* Let's just put it in some out-of-the-way place, like a laundromat or that hill outside town?' Thought Dib, looking up at the clock and wondering how long it was until the next class.

'The hill outside of town, _definitely_!' Replied Tak hurriedly. The laundromat understandably creeped her out. Those places were horrible...! 'I'll get right on that. I'm just finishing the diagnostics for the ship. _You_ remember to keep an eye on Zim.'

'Okay. Talk to you later,' replied Dib, looking back at the piano and realizing that the music teacher had extracted himself and was now wiping off the grease which had mysteriously appeared on him since the piano-string-entanglement.

'Yeah, sure. "Talk"...!' Thought Tak in amusement. Well, it _was_ a pretty funny thing to say -er, think- when they were using telepathy!

0

* * *

0

Going back to the classroom, Dib tried to keep an eye on Zim. Even when they sat down in the classroom, he wasn't doing anything unusual. It wasn't like he would just jump up and SHOUT his plans for the Jellied-bones...but then again, he had seen him laugh maniacally. Maybe that could count...?

But, unfortunately for him, Dib couldn't keep his mind on his most hated adversary. Not when he was worried about other stuff -like keeping the Men in Black from discovering Tak's new base and- hey, wait, what was that thing Zim had? He leaned in and thought for sure Zim was listening in on a communicator or something.

0

* * *

0

Back in Tak's "abode"... Tak was working on a way of getting on of the next-door neighbors to move before the next day. It wasn't going to be easy -but, then again, what part of life WAS?

The ship's diagnostic beeped at her as she examined Market-prices for the houses. 'There was a problem with the Security Grid during our last encounter with those Men in Black...? Hm! That's odd...' Was all she thought as she ran more internal diagnostics to pin-point the problem.

0

* * *

0

In the meanwhile, back at Zim's base...

Skoodge had been trying to get in contact with Tak to coordinate their attacks on Zim...but it wasn't working. Just where in the_ heck_ did she fall off the entire planet!? He sighed as he realized he'd be working alone from now on...

And also NOT realizing that one of his major problems was going to be the Men in Black tracing his alien transmissions...

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* * *

0

ALSO meanwhile, back with Agent Dark Booty...

He was currently worried about the little Swollen Eyeball member that had been unofficially placed in his charge. Even if the meeting this Thursday went well, that didn't mean that he wasn't in an awful lot of trouble.

Not just that Dark Booty was worried about him; but the other Swollen Eyeball members had become more than suspicious... He didn't want to distrust him any more than he had to, but... He also couldn't convince the other members without proof of his loyalty. This was becoming more and more worrisome by the minute...!

Ooohhh...Where was Agent Dipped Pants when he needed them!? Those two were excellent twin investigators; they were also good judges of character, and he could swear that they were psychic sometimes in how well they could tell if someone was lying...!

Now if only they hadn't taken that mission in the Congo to go after that White Gorrilla that was eating all the green stuff...! He sighed and leaned his head back. It just wasn't worth it to get out of bed for work tonight. His attention was diverted when he heard a bell ring and realized it was his "Filth Alarm".

One of the folks in the Observatory at NASA Place had spilled something, and was "requesting", AKA demanding, his assistance. He picked up his mop, bucket, and cleaning fluid and rolled it down the hallway. That Big-headed kid could fly Mercury and put it right back where he found it!...

...Now why couldn't he have enough common sense to notify him when he was in trouble?! He wound up shaking his head as he walked.

That poor, Big-headed brat.

0

* * *

0

Unfortunately, for a lot of people, Agent Dark Booty wasn't privy to the conversation some of the head Swollen Eyeball Agents were having. If he had been, though, perhaps some of these most important things wouldn't have happened...? Regardless, the conversation they were having now was about just the thing he'd been worrying about earlier...

"We've got a considerable problem on our hands."

"Yes: although Agent Mothman is young and impetuous, this current predicament seems more than just boyhood foolishness."

"Agreed... Although without him at the meeting, it'll be difficult to tell whether he's still trustworthy."

"We'll need to meet with him; why was he unable to attend this meeting?"

"His father enforced a curfew because of the current problem, remember?"

"Oh, yeah...!"

"It probably won't be possible without his father's permission."

"Then...maybe we should just have it at _his_ house...?"

"Good! Then we can sneak around and poke through his stuff!"

"No good! What kind of excuse could he have for having us over?!"

"Teachers?"

"No!"

"Therapists?"

"No!"

"Lost Circus Freaks!"

"NO!"

"*Sigh* This isn't getting us _anywhere_! We can't meet with him if he's _not_ out of that house; and we can't go in, can we?"

"No electronics means no easy conference-calls."

"Then we'll simply have to go IN there!"

"Ooohh! An ESCORT to take him to and from the meeting!"

"Let it be Agent Dark Booty -after all, he likes looking after him!"

"Good idea! _Then_ we can have Agent Dark Booty perhaps get some more information out of him? Stuff he wouldn't tell to us?!"

"Tell Agent Dark Booty he will be escorting young Agent Mothman to the meeting! And, uh...also to think up a good disguise or excuse or something..."

"Alright!"

"Yeay!"

"Why are we cheering? ...YEOWCH!"

0

* * *

0

The next day was Tuesday, the day of the Big Base Move. Tak and Dib were too preoccupied with monitoring the moving-trucks to bother about Zim. "Tak, have you got that third shipment in, yet?" Asked Dib over the ship's communications. The transmission had been encoded, but they also used the new disk they got from Pooki. It needed to be tested, and this was as good a time as any. Dib also hadn't gotten out of detention the previous day, but that wasn't necessary now.

"That's fine!" Replied Tak to his mental inquiry. She was working hurriedly to keep things in order, so she even broke her own telepathy rules.

"Um, talking out loud some more?" Asked Dib, hoping to get a jibe in. But she wasn't paying much attention, and it was just irritating because of that.

"Uhm, yeah, yeah, whatever!" She replied hurriedly. "I've gotten the first and second one; where exactly did you send that third?"

"I sent it on the route through Fifth and Salmon streets," replied Dib, checking the maps. The ship's computer reminded him that the Men in Black were rounding the corner to the parking-lot where the trucks were. 'A lot of Men in Black around near the trucks. You sure-'

"Yes, of course I'm sure!" Replied Tak testily. 'I'll take care of it! Er, no, wait-' Then she turned to Mimi and said, "I'll take care of it." Turning back to the screen, she replied, "Just turn this thing off; we can't concentrate!"

"Good point. Turning off!" Dib pressed the button and said to the ship's computer, "We won't need the communications-system; it's getting confusing."

{You know, just as soon as you've said that, we're going to have to use them!} Replied the ship's computer with a sigh. {We'll keep the Transmissions Black-out Communications System on stand-by.}

"'We'll'?" Asked Dib, raising an eyebrow in confusion and interrupting him from checking the maps for the trucks' routes. "What do you mean by 'we'?!"

{Oh, by "we", I mean the new A.I. system I designed.} Replied the ship easily.

"Oh, _great_! Just what we need," sighed Dib, remembering his last misadventures with artificial intelligence.

{Well, you'd _better_ like it!} Replied the computer, {I'm planning on installing it into your computer systems after we're done here.}

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dib; just as he said this, he got a message from Tak psychically.

'The third truck finally arrived. And, might I say what an industrious and marvelous scheme that was from the ship.' Tak allowed herself a moment to smirk as Dib moaned over "controlling women and computers". Then she thought, 'And by the way, once the fourth one finally gets here, we'll have to do that "holoid" thing,' she leaned back in her chair in the upstairs attic.

'The Holoid thing, got it,' replied Dib, before saying to the computer, "Well, it looks like your little scheme made _Tak_ happy," and winced, covering his ears and it screamed that high-pitched squeal it knew he hated, with delight. "She says after the fourth one arrives, we'll do the Holoid thing."

{Oh, alright!} The computer interrupted its own squealing with uninterrupted glee and replied.

"That Holoid thing", as they now called it, was a quick-fix-up to the people problem they'd been worrying over. After getting the next-door neighbors to sell their house -not the ones with the ninja-esque dog, unfortunately- Tak decided to take on the guise of a human girl once again. Only this time, she didn't have anyone to play the part of her "legal guardians". No matter, since Dib suggested using a simple construct for a robot and then using a hologram to project an image.

The Holoid, (Pronounced: "Hall-oid", a word coined by Dib mixing the words "holo" from hologram and "oid", which is a common addition to a robot's name, and I don't know where that came from... Probably from the word, "humanoid"?) It would be remote-controlled by Mimi, who'd by now acquired as much information about the human lifestyle as would be needed.

The Holoid was an imperfect choice: it couldn't act on its own, and would constantly need to be checked to make sure it was functioning properly. It needed fleshy pink hands to imitate the warmth of an ordinary hand-shake, and it would need to be constructed properly to avoid damage if it was caught out in the rain or something. It also couldn't dance or do the splits, which Dib seemed to think was most useful for it to do. Weird.

However, it was the best thing they had; Tak obviously couldn't use the head of the Deelishus Weenie Corporation anymore as her false father, and they were running out of time. This was a quick and -somewhat- easy solution.

And so, with all this planning, Dib didn't notice the weird things going on around him in regards to the Swollen Eyeball Agency. Understandable, since they didn't have any contact with him at all besides this:

Tuesday was wild and crazy. Not only did they have to find out how to transport five trucks-worth of supplies to Tak's _new_ underground base beneath the house without notice; but Dib's father, Professor Membrane himself, even wanted to be assured of the new neighbors' security. After all, with those pesky Men in Black running around, who knows? They might even try to sneak into their home under the guise of a new neighbor and spy on them from next door!

Tak had decided that it would be best if Dib wasn't seen sneaking around anywhere unusual. And a new neighbor kid next-door would be the obvious choice of a new "playmate", which wouldn't arouse the suspicions of anyone else. She even made up a new disguise for her nextdoor-girl persona; a blonde-haired, orange-eyed girl named Sonoma. Dib didn't know why she'd picked a new name to go with it -but it did for some reason remind him of their trip to Arid-zona...and he didn't know why...!

The very minute he'd entered into his own room to flop on his bed -for a short nap, since they'd be up all night working on the security grids with Pooki's new program- a pale-colored bird flew in and hit him right in his head!

Dib struggled with the bird until he finally realized that it was a pigeon -and not just any pigeon, but a homing pigeon! He pulled the little note off its ankle and let it fly away. The note read thus: (translated from Swollen Eyeball's Code)

_Dear Agent Mothman,_

_The Head Swollen Eyeball Members have insisted on your attendance at the upcoming meeting, despite your father's curfew. I will be by on the pretext of a reporter for "The Missing Foot-Link" magazine, who will be interviewing you for an article. I'll be by at around midnight; my excuse for coming so late is that my car broke down._

_Then we'll head by a coffee-shop before going to the meeting. We also need to talk, first. Seriously. The other members have become very suspicious about your behavior recently._

_Dark Booty, done with._

Dib blinked and his eyes widened. 'Uhm...! Tak...?' He asked in his head, hoping she was still listening.

'Dib? What's up? I thought you were napping,' she replied with curious annoyance.

'I was -I mean, I was going to, but, uh, you see-!' Dib started, again too nervous to stop the thoughts from swirling around his head to form properly.

'AlRIGHT! Nevermind!' Thought Tak, 'I'll get the answer more quickly if I just read your mind!'

'No, WAY!' Exclaimed Dib in shock, 'I'm getting to it! Sheesh, always with this, "I'm gonna' read your mind" business whenever I don't respond right away!'

'Well, it's not like it's that much of a _stretch_,' replied Tak rather boredly, 'I'll just have to dig down underneath the top layer of conscious thoughts.'

'Alright; then nevermind! But it's just that if I don't manage to meet with both the Swollen Eyeballs AND Agent Dark Booty, then I'm pretty sure they're gonna' can me! For suspicion of treachery, or, something-a-ruther...!'

'Ohhh...' thought Tak with a slight smile at how funny it was that he'd only get his thoughts in order with threatening. 'And why is all of this happening? You must've gotten a communication from them just now.'

'Well-!' Then Dib realized that he really hadn't explained it. 'Alright, then... There was this homing pigeon that flew in through my window-'

'Really? Where'd it go?'

'What? Oh, I don't know...just flew off after I had to grab it to extract it from my head...man, _why_ do those things like to fly right at my head and stuff?!' He thought as he rubbed said sore area where the beak had smacked into him.

'Then what?'

'Then I opened up the little message attached to its foot, and I found it was from Agent Dark Booty!' Dib then re-read the lines to her, translated of course from the encoding.

'Interesting. Sounds like one of those Indian languages.'

'What? Oh, uh, yeah, I'm not sure where they got the code, actually.' Thought Dib, rubbing his head in thought. The native Indian languages wouldn't be so unknown anymore; so this must be something else. 'We'll have to find some way of-'

'Nevermind that, Dib,' thought Tak, dismissing his thoughts for a new one. 'I've got a much _better_ idea...!'

'What?' Dib thought, feeling an impending sense of dread along with it.

'If they're so suspicious of you, then why don't we just let them "meet" this strange little psychic girl of yours?' The second Dib heard it, he realized it was a bad idea. 'And besides,' added Tak, 'I want to meet these "colleagues" of yours.'

'THAT'S the STUPIDEST IDEA I've heard from you YET!' Exclaimed Dib mentally, making sure to shut his mouth so he didn't scream it out loud.

'Oh, suuure; and like any of YOUR ideas have been stupid-less!' Exclaimed Tak mentally back at him.

'But to just GO THERE! You're an _alien_; and if you haven't _noticed_, they're_ also_ paranormal enthusiasts who wouldn't hesitate at an opportunity to_ expose_ an alien!' Then Dib thought, 'Just like_ I_ am...' which opened up a whole new Pandora's box of what in the heck he'd gotten himself into.

'Then _why_ didn't you expose me when you had the chance?!' Asked Tak annoyedly, although she already knew the answer to that.

'W-well, I, ah...oh, I wanted a partner to help me take down Zim! Well, you wanted to as well, to, to be a partner...! Ah! And then, your ship was _annoying_ and wouldn't let me do_ anything_ unless it was going to keep you safe -no, _seriously_! I bet that if I'd brought in a News-crew to show it to them, the ship'd shoot lasers at everyone and then fly away or something...!' He then stopped to consider the thought of also trying to tell his dad -but his father would've only been interested if he'd lied and said that it was a giant Space Arachnid...which, incidentally...!

'Hey, Tak!...Are you Irkens really-' but his musings were interrupted by Tak's annoying replies.

'Heh heh, yeah! That ship sure is good at that,' she smiled as she laughed inwardly at all his misadventures with the personality-matrix things. 'In any case, since they obviously DON'T know that I'm an alien, and I WON'T LET THEM,' she stressed this anxiously, hoping he'd just leave the subject alone and let her make the decision, 'I can easily just convince them that I'm an anxious and scared psychic who just wanted some help with her psychic abilities!'

'That's not it- *Sigh*' Dib tried to think of how to say this lightly; but, at this point, hurting her feelings was not high on his priority list. 'But, don't you _think_, that with that last escapade into Arid-zona with the Men in Black chasing after us, that maybe, just _maybe_, they might've heard of it?'

'And...?' Asked Tak, 'So, what?'

'But, what if they_ also_ suspect that you're in possession of the necklace?' Asked Dib. 'I mean, what if they even know about Madame Vicious and all that she's done? What if they even_ contacted_ Madame Vicious, and maybe, just mayyybe, she told them what she knew?!'

'Dib, those are all just suppositions and _you know it_!' Exclaimed Tak, leaning her head on her hand. She should've known that trying to argue with him wouldn't get her anywhere; she'd have to pull out her old card-trick to get him to cooperate.

'But aren't _you_ the one who said that we SHOULDN'T BECOME COMPLACENT?!' Exclaimed Dib just as well. 'I mean, what are you _thinking_?! Just waltzing into a place where the members regularly study paranormal phenomenon?! Are you CRAZY!?'

'I SHOULDN'T _NEED_ YOUR PERMISSION!' Exclaimed Tak mentally, much louder and more forcefully than she'd anticipated. She wasn't trying to hurt his brain; it was just his constant paranoia was getting to her. 'I'm FULLY capable of handling them ON MY OWN!' Then she sighed and leaned back where she noticed she'd been tensely positioned in her chair. 'You got that?!'

Dib glared and considered how they seemed to be taking a step backwards from their previous cooperation. 'On your own. _Huh_. Funny, that means that you wouldn't _need me here_, then, _huh_?!' Then he flopped back down on his bed and said, 'Have fun at your little _meeting_!'

Tak sighed and hung her head, realizing that she'd just pushed the "I don't need your permission" thingy too far. She should've known when she was doing that... In any case, having him point out her plans' flaws was not intimidating... 'I know, I _know_...!' But it wasn't flattering. 'Okay, here's the deal: if we go in there with _proper_ preparation and back-up, THEN will you be sure it's safe?!'

Dib just pouted as he turned his head to look out the window; 'Probably...' he still didn't like this idea, but at least she was willing to consider his position. 'What if they catch me? I mean, _us_?! What if they find out what I've been keeping from them!? I mean, it's not as if I'm a_ traitor_ or anything...! I'm just...waiting for the right time...! And besides, Zim's a _convict_, and you're here to catch him!'

'More like _eliminate_ him,' reminded Tak cruelly.

'Yeah, I know! Exactly! He's a _wanted criminal_! And you're the Police or Investigator or something!'

'Executioner,' reminded Tak again.

'_Don't_ make it any harder for me to explain to them,' thought Dib with a sigh, 'This way, at least I'll be able to say that you're a LEGITIMATE representative of your race, and that, since I was working along WITH you, I wasn't able to say anything, for fear of ...uh...got any ideas?' Dib questioned as his mind came up with a blank. It wasn't easy trying to convince people who suspected you were a traitor.

'I don't know; they're YOUR people,' she reminded him lazily. She really didn't care about all of this. Those people may be smarter than the average human; but confronted with the thought that one of their own had been hiding an important discovery from them would cause them to lose sight of the truth and act on emotion rather than intellect. And that wasn't going to be easy to reason with.

In fact, it was usually _impossible_!

'Oh! I've got it!' Exclaimed Dib mentally, 'Because you were told to eradicate him quietly without disturbing our, uh...developing civilization!' Tak had to admit that that idea was a relatively believable one.

'Wow. Watching all those Sci-fi movies really pays off, doesn't it?' She replied easily, still not interested in his attempt to rationalize with them after they find out he was lying.

'Heh, yeah...that, and they're _fun_!' He replied with a slight grin. 'You know what the best part is? That in all those Sci-fi movies, people actually _believe_ that there's aliens!' He smirked as he leaned his head back on his pillow, suddenly feeling his eyelids heavy and drowsy. In an attempt to keep them up, he thought, 'Heh, I like that the best!'

'And they're also _constantly_ trying to take over the Earth,' reminded Tak, but she noticed he was drifting off and contemplated taking some rest-time herself. 'Well, you'd better reply to that note and tell him you're alright with that,' she said, hoping to bring the thought full-circle.

'Oh! ...Yeah, I uh, think that pigeon already flew off.' Replied Dib for a second of intelligent thought before drifting off to sleep.

'Oh... Well, at least you already got the note.' She replied, disappointed.

'Uh-huh...' Dib again drifted up out of sleep to consider how Dark Booty could tell that the pigeon had delivered the message by just checking to see if it was gone.

Then he drifted back.

0

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0

The next day began just as any other. Dib awoke to the sunlight on his face and turned over to press the button on his alarm. Seeing the time through his bleary, sleep-coated eyes, he gasped and jumped up, only to roll off his bed and hit the floor. "*Gasp!*" he gasped as he thought, 'TAK! Why didn't you wake me up?! I was supposed to get up at 4:30!'

'Oh! Hello,' thought Tak as if she'd been roused from deep concentration, 'I tried, but you wouldn't wake up.' Then she shrugged her shoulders as she balanced a screen in her hands and several other electronics of various function, 'I guess you underestimated your need for sleep.'

'But it's almost 7:00!' He exclaimed mentally, 'I'll be late for skooooool!' Jumping up, he ran to the bathroom to get ready, grabbing his school-books.

'It's an hour until class; how much time do you need to get _ready_?!' Thought Tak incredulously.

'Yeah?! And what about the registration?!' He thought back as he hurriedly pulled a comb through his hair. 'You said "Sonoma" was going to skool!'

'_Relax_, I've already taken care of it,' replied Tak with a sigh. 'You really wake up stupid, you know that?!'

Looking back at his reflection in the mirror, Dib finally realized what she'd meant, and said, 'Oh...duh!' Smacking his palm into his head, he thought, 'Then...I guess I'll get something to eat...!' Walking out shaking his head, he almost stepped on the little doggy that had been wandering around there since it'd appeared.

"Don't step on Herman," said Gaz from her room. The door was cracked open just a bit and the little doggy wandered in there.

"I didn't know we decided on the name 'Herman' for him," replied Dib in interest.

"_We_ didn't," replied Gaz slightly mystically; and Dib left it at that. He just wasn't in the mood to argue with her this morning.

Walking downstairs, Dib was just in time to find the last bit of French-toast that was left. Huh. Who here ate French-toast? He grabbed it anyways and made an extra little bit of toast and egg to go with it. He needed his energy today. His mind suddenly drifted to the previous night's worry, and he almost had a heart-attack when he saw his Uncle Werewolf Bob sitting there in the kitchen where he hadn't been before.

"AAAHH!" He exclaimed, grabbing to catch his plate as he fumbled it. "W-What are YOU doing here?!"

"Relax, Little Dib! I'm only here to check on you and your sister!" Then he smirked and said, "Big appetite this morning?"

Dib just took a look down at his food, frowned and said, "Yeah, sure, whatever." Then, after putting his plate on the table, "Gaz is in her room, still getting ready I guess."

"How perceptive of you," said Uncle Werewolf Bob, putting a hand to his chin. "I'm actually here to deliver a message to the _both_ of you," he waited until he had Dib's attention and added, "From Aunt Patri."

Dib dead-panned, unhappy to be reminded of her, and said, "Oh, _goody_. What is it?"

"She says not to go out anywhere tonight. Not _today_, but tonight. Something about a bad feeling, I guess." Uncle Werewolf Bob leaned forward onto the table and said, "You aren't going to do it, are you?"

"*Sigh* I guess not." Replied Dib unhappily.

"And why, pray tell, not?" Asked Uncle Werewolf Bob intently.

"It's not as if I have a _choice_," mumbled Dib before he shoved his mouth full of food and hoped it would keep his uncle from expecting any answers from him.

"That's too bad," replied his uncle Bob, "Because there's not a lot of stuff we can do for you if you don't want our protection."

Opening his mouth, Dib almost said, "why would I want the protection of people who_ lied_ to me?" before realizing that it was his own problem that he'd been worried about. Chewing his food over thoughtfully, he finally swallowed and said, "Why are you a Werewolf, Uncle Bob?"

Uncle Bob stared at him in shock and then said, "Well...I was born this way."

"But that's_ impossible_!" Exclaimed Dib, "Don't you have to get bitten or scratched by a werewolf to become one?!"

"Not all the time." Replied his uncle, raising his eyebrows. "In fact, some of us even have families."

"*Sigh* I guess this explains cousin Chewy," said Dib as he chewed another piece of French-toast. "I don't know why I have to have the one family with so many paranormal oddities! I mean, isn't that just strange?!"

"You're_ totally_ on the right track with that thought," said Uncle Werewolf Bob, grinning, "Unfortunately, I can't say anything."

"Yeah, yeah..." said Dib, then thought, 'Hey, Tak! Have you been listening to this?!' He realized he'd probably interrupted her when he got an exhausperated squeak. 'Urhm...am I interrupting anything?!' He asked nervously.

'No, no!' She replied with a disappointed feeling, 'It's just that I'll need some extra hands if I'm going to complete this re-setting up of my base by this evening.'

'Oh! That's right! I'm so sorry I forgot to wake up last night! I'll come over after skool and help out!' Dib replied guiltily. He really _did_ mean to help out with that -he couldn't understand why he didn't wake up. It's not like he wasn't used to late nights!

'Thanks,' replied Tak unenthusiastically. 'And you'd better tell that Uncle Werewolf Bob of yours, that if he _really_ wants to help, he'll tell us where the Men in Black's headquarters are located!'

'Well, I don't think he can do that,' replied Dib with a huff. He didn't even bother to relay the information as he finished up what was on his plate and put it in the dishwasher. He had to head upstairs to change -he'd slept in his clothes overnight.

'Good day, Uncle Bob!' Thought Dib. Tak only smirked at this and reminded him to speak this out loud. Dib stopped at the stairs and said, "Good day, Uncle Bob!"

"Good day to you, Little Dib!"

Dib almost felt like stopping to argue not to call him "little", but...it just wasn't going to work with family-members. They'd call you "little" even at thirty years old!

0

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Skoodge sat on the floor next to a couch randomly placed in the Inventions Storage-room he was currently in. GIR sat on said couch and sucked on a Suck-munkey. "*Sigh* Mik, I've searched _everywhere_ for Tak! And I can't_ find_ her! How are we supposed to work together on this if I can't _contact_ her?!"

GIR sat on the couch and slucked a looooong, hissing suck on his Suck-munkey. Then he coughed. After recovering, he said, "Kid with Da Big Head and Curly-head Girl come oveh all teh _tiiiime_!"

"'Curly-head Girl'?" Asked Skoodge, interested. "Who's that?"

GIR jumped up and banged his head on a console, bringing up an old security-feed with a video of both Tak and Dib. He pointed at it and said, "THAAA~A~A~AAAT!" Skoodge blinked with interest and suddenly shouted.

"WHAA-AAT!?"

He ran out the door to the room, still screaming over the insanity of this discovery. It was another couple of seconds before Skoodge came back in to turn off the screen, hoping that Zim didn't notice it.

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0

TO BE CONTINUED...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Do I really have to go through this again? The notes to this chapter will be there when the ENTIRE thing is uploaded! Goooo...TO THE FUUUTUUUURRREEE! -


	7. Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard? Again, Again

DISCLAIMER: Ditto, man. Just Ditto.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: YET ANOTHER CONTINUATION! *Sighs* Anyways, I'm currently wondering, is Fan-fiction dot net annoying and just allows short entries, or am I the one who writes LONG ones?! Anyways, enjoy!

...IT IS CONTINUED, YET AGAIN...!:

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The door to the classroom opened to reveal a new person no one had ever seen before. Dib leaned up in slight trepidation and relief to see Tak in her new disguise. He had to admit -changing her appearance and name made it practically impossible for him to recognize her. And even Zim wouldn't care about what her voice sounded like. He just hoped the other people didn't notice...

"Class, we've got a new, horrible, pathetic excuse for a student. Her name is, 'Sonoma'. Sonoma, you have one minute to say something. So make it COUNT. You'll be personally judged on this by your peers for the rest of the skool-year." Ms. Bitters said, then, snaking back to her desk, she waited patiently while looking at a spooky pocket-watch.

"Hi, I'm Sonoma! Nice to meet you. I just moved here, so I don't know anybody." She said simply, even managing to look a bit shy.

Dib had to admit: she had good acting skills. But Ms. Bitters interrupted his musings.

"Alright, that's enough," she said, even though there were still 40 seconds left. "I'm sick and tired of this. Go sit down in that recently-vacated desk." She pointed to the one which was curiously right behind Dib, just where she used to sit. Dib thought this was highly coincidental.

'I actually planned on that,' replied Tak, aka "Sonoma", in his head. 'It was so much easier this way. I can poke you whenever I want!'

Dib just pouted and turned to look out the windows. 'Yeah, sure...' He thought, staring at the nice, blue sky. Gee, that was weird...maybe the wind had swept through and blown away the pollution? It seemed odd to see a blue sky over the city, even though he knew it wasn't supposed to be red.

'The "Red City", huh?' Thought Tak, catching his musings.

'Yeah...heh! At least it's a lot better than its _other_ name!' He replied with a smirk.

'Why? What was its other name?' She asked, catching the sense that it was many years ago.

'They used to call it, "Los Legionos, the City of Demons!"' He replied, looking down at his doodles.

'Hah! Good name-change,' replied Tak, staring at her empty desk and wondering when Ms. Bitters would be finished with her, "You're All Pathetic and Will Soon Become Doomed, Worthless Members of Society" speech.

As Zim tried to figure out how to exploit this new student, and Dib and Tak continued their mental conversation, none of them noticed the little flying robot bug that was spying on them through the window. After all, it was just a little robot bug!

0

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0

That evening, both Dib and Tak (in her new persona and disguise as "Sonoma") sat in the living room of Dib's house, putting together something mechanical in nature -although its true origin had yet to be understood.

'So, tell me_ again_ how this is supposed to help us?' Asked Dib mentally for about the five hundredth time since they'd started that evening.

'As I've been TRYing to tell you,' thought Tak, tired of explaining, with a sigh. 'I'll need this to help us monitor my brain-wave patterns inside the Men and Black's minds.'

'And...why are we doing this at_ my_ house?!' He asked annoyedly. It wasn't as if she didn't have that big house and underground base which she could do this in.

'The headquarters for the Men in Black could _still_ trace us once we mentally enter the computer system -' then she stopped for a moment and quickly thought, 'I mean, ME, not we. Curses! Now you've got ME doing it!' Referring to Dib's constant use of the Royal "We". 'In any event, this portable monitoring device will be useful, since we may have to act on the first sign of danger; I DON'T want to get caught while I'm physically immobile.'

'While that's nice and everything, what makes me wonder is,' Dib thought, then suddenly noticed an increasingly angry vibe from her. He waited patiently for it to pass before he continued his thoughts, 'Why do I get the feeling you're planning on doing this little excursion into the Men in Black's thoughts_ here_?'

She looked up at him, sure that he wouldn't like the answer if she thought it. 'I'm not going to do the _main attack_ on them from here; that would be too dangerous,' she responded. 'I'm going to do the _test_ with this monitoring device and take a little jaunt into your mind; THEN I'll use it at my base to ensure the best security. I just wanted to make sure it would work portably.' Then, as an afterthought, she added, 'You know...just to be sure.'

Dib thought he could tell a hint of humor in that comment, but he left it alone. There was too much work to be done before Agent Dark Booty got there at midnight.

At about 7:00, Tak leaned back and thought, 'You'd better take a nap or something...knowing we're gonna' be out all night.'

'I'll be _fine_!' Dib thought back, pouting, 'I'm not that tired_ all_ the time! Besides, what makes you think we'll be out all night?!' His incredulous reply gave Tak reason to give an inward giggle. He sure seemed to make a lot out of the little stuff.

'Oh, just like your Aunt Patri, call it a...hunch.'

'_Wonderful_...' thought Dib, although he was also having a bad feeling about this. But he didn't need psychic powers for _that_ hunch.

The hours passed. At around 11:30, they'd finally finished constructing the monitoring system. Dib sighed and Tak leaned back in relief. The first stage of inventing was finally over. Now the only thing that was left to do tonight was to meet with Agent Dark Booty and the Swollen Eyeballs.

They didn't have to worry about Professor Membrane coming home -he was out late, working on whatever it was he had to work on. Tak was still in her disguise, and the mental monitoring-system wasn't _that_ alien-looking...well, okay, it was! But still, it was unlikely that Dib's father would notice something like that.

'Phew! That was a lot of work!' Thought Dib inwardly. He jumped up and said aloud, "I'm goin' to the kitchen for a sandwich."

"Good, then I'll...'change' before your 'friend' gets here," Replied Tak carefully. Switching holograms, it was a minute before Dib noticed she was wearing the very same hologram she'd worn at the Turpit Out. Of course, he was in the kitchen, occupied with making a sandwich...! Which may or may not have had the entire contents of the spice-cabinet in it...

'Hey!' Exclaimed Dib just as soon as he peeked over to view her new disguise, 'Why are you wearing that old disguise?!'

'Because,' thought Tak back at him, 'I remembered your Swollen Eyeball friends had obviously seen me in my disguise back then. Things would be ...difficult to explain... if I'd suddenly changed my hair, face, and eyes. You see?'

'Oh! ...Yeah, I guess that'd work.' Then Dib bit down into his sandwich. 'Unless, of course, they've seen you with me in one of your other disguises.'

'Well, do _you_ have any other plans?!' Tak thought back in annoyance.

'Noh...' Thought Dib as he chewed on his sandwich, thoughtfully. This annoyance was getting to Tak, and the conversation was getting them nowhere! She simply sighed and turned her back to him.

'You'd better be _finished_ by the time he gets here,' she thought at last.

Giving her a strange look, he thought, 'Oh, come _on_! It's not like it'll take me a whole THIRTY MINUTES to eat a SANDWICH!'

'I've seen stranger things before,' came her simple, yet mysterious answer that just seemed to fuel Dib's inventive mind even more. She gave him a sharp mental stab before it wandered off into disturbing places. He just cringed and nervously tried to hide his curiosity...but it was far too _large_!

'Speaking of curiosity,' thought Tak suddenly as she picked up the mental-monitoring system to put it upstairs in his room, 'What was that you were talking about with your Uncle "Werewolf" Bob earlier today? I was preoccupied and I only heard the last part of you two speaking.'

'Oh! Well, it seems like werewolf genes can be passed on genetically; although, I'm surprised _anyone_ would have a person around long enough to pass on those genes...!' He trailed off, considering this. His Uncle Bob certainly was married, even though she didn't like people very much and they hardly saw her. But it was strange that he hadn't killed her or his son, Chewie, yet.

'Why would they attack people close to them?' Asked Tak, reasoning easily, 'I mean, that sounds very self-destructive -killing their own spouses or other family-members- it wouldn't be conducive to reproducing.' Perhaps that was why they were so rare or elusive that people thought they were a myth?

'I don't know,' thought Dib, 'I'll have to ask Uncle Bob when I see him next... Anyways, I think it has something to do with them going crazy after transforming at the full-moon. That kind of thing could harm _any_one near them, you know?'

'I suppose so. "Why" is always so hard a question to get an answer to.' She replied reasonably. Tak always had the most accepting way of waiting to gain information, in Dib's mind. It was as if she had all the time in the _world_! And Dib, well...he wasn't that way.

'Yeah, I _know_! And even though Scientists are supposed to ASK "why" all the time!' Exclaimed Dib, mentally rambling off on another one of his "other people are so blind and I'm so persecuted!" tangents. It was enough to make Tak angry at him. Thankfully, she just resorted to redirecting his energies.

'DIB!' Yelled Tak in his mind, suddenly putting down the system and rushing up to him and shaking him, 'FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE FORBIDDEN to go into that kind of MORONIC RANT! DO_YOU_UNDERSTAND!?'

Dib just blinked and stared at her. 'Wha-' he got another shaking as he tried to comprehend what she was saying, but he eventually realized the kinds of mental signals that she was sending, and he complied, 'Alright, ALRIGHT!' He ignored her continued glaring at him and sighed. Was he_ really_ just feeling sorry for himself?! And why was she always acting disdainful if he thought like that?!

'If you can't understand it, then I'll _explain_, and I'll use EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND WORDS!' Explained Tak, still angrily.

'Okay, what is it?! And...why does it feel like you've been holding back on telling me that?' Replied Dib, holding himself as if he expected a physical confrontation.

'*Sigh* You're right, and I _have_ been holding it in. But, frankly, you're sounding like a spoiled child! You expect everyone to _instantly_ understand, and even be_ impressed_ by this stuff, when you yourself can't even _prove_ it?! What sort of_ perfect world_ is your childish mind _living_ in?!' She exclaimed this last part, throwing her arms up in the air, although they were talking mentally. He was about to explain that it wasn't his fault, when she continued.

'You're _also_ trying to show them something that's been considered a_ myth_ -do you_ know_ how_ hard_ that is!?' She again threw her arms up in the air, and he pouted and turned his head. 'You _also_ know that the majority of your people either _don't_ have the capacity to understand these things, or don't CARE!'

'And your point _is_...?!' Asked Dib, highly annoyed with her by now. She'd also interrupted his time with eating his sandwich -when she'd expressly told him to hurry it up!

'Look,' Tak hung her head and put a hand on it, as if trying to come up with the right words, 'I _know_ that you're frustrated -quite frankly, I've been there- but this is _no_ time to beat yourself down!'

'What?! "Beat myself down"?! What the HECK!?' Replied Dib in befuddled bewilderment.

'YES!' She exclaimed in his mind before calming herself down once again, 'Look: by _constantly_ claiming that _other people_ are treating you badly, you're also _degrading yourself_! If you continue focusing on that idea, then no matter _what_ you do, you'll always feel as if you're a _failure_!'

Dib blinked, with that confused expression on his face, but even with the hologram, he could see a fiercely-determined look on hers. The kind that came with personal experience. Her expression softened a bit as she sensed that he understood it. 'I don't know what -I mean, how do-!' His thoughts wouldn't form as he thought about it. Finally, he let out a sigh and said, 'Then what did _you_ do? When you felt exasperated because nobody ever recognized _you_ or your true potential?'

'Then don't EVER, EVER! Rant about how you've been _mistreated_!' Replied Tak, putting a finger in his face. 'Because the ONLY person who can change ANYTHING is YOU!'

Dib's face was almost pouty, determined not to show any emotion, like he wasn't concerned with it. 'Okay.' Was all he could think in return, while the rest of his mind was occupied with questions about the psychological relevance of all of this, along with wondering whether or not aliens like Irkens were emotionally the same as humans. He didn't like anyone telling him this about himself; quite frankly, it was embarrassing.

Tak looked away, feeling dissatisfied that he hadn't shown any reaction. But at least he understood it! 'Eh...then let's get this stupid thing over with.'

'Okay.' Dib thought again, before returning to munch on his sandwich. ...Some of the meat and veggies in it had gotten cold.

The rest of the time passed rather uneventfully. Tak had already deposited the mental-monitoring system in his room, and the tools and extra scraps were almost gathered into their storage-bag when there was a knock on the door. With just a simple mind-sweep, Tak could easily tell it was Agent Dark Booty.

'I'll get it. ...And don't_ worry_! I know him,_ I'll_ do all the talking, I'll be fine!' Thought Dib, partially for her to stop pestering him mentally with warnings, and partially to steel his own nerves. 'I'll just go and open the door, and I-' he stopped as he had to speak aloud.

"Hi! Uhhh...what can I do for you?" Dib grinned cheesily, hoping this would convince Agent Dark Booty that his dad was still around. Even though he wasn't.

"Uh, Dib? I'm here from 'The Missing Foot-Link' magazine to interview you for our 'Mysterious Heads' column...can I come in?" Said Agent Dark Booty, not missing a beat. Goodness -for an old janitor, this guy was _good_!

Dib almost forgot to be irritated at the mention of his head; but he found time to pout and said, "Sure, why don't you sit right down here in the living room..?" His awkward acting-skills made Dark Booty cringe; surely a kid with acting THIS BAD couldn't be keeping any secrets...could he?

"Thanks...I was thinking we could go to a coffee-shop somewhere and talk, you know...man-to-ma-" suddenly Dark Booty stopped stared at the person he saw waiting in the living room, sitting on the couch, looking bored. It looked like, according to the descriptions given by the other agents at that time, the very same girl who'd accompanied Dib to the Turpit Out!

'Oh, shoot!' Thought Dib, but Tak quickly reassured him.

'Don't worry, just introduce me! As "Tik-tak", remember?'

'Ah, right!' Exclaimed Dib in agitation; he took a deep breath and then said, "Uh, this is my_ friend_! She has psychic-powers -remember, the one I_ told_ you about?- her name's Tik-tak!"

Agent Dark Booty seemed to regard this with a disturbed fascination: disturbed, because he was worried about what kind of person Dib had gotten himself mixed up with. And fascination, because he was interested to see what kind of psychic powers she really had. So, all he said was, "Of course...nice to meet you...eh...Tik-tak...!"

"Tik-tak" pretended to be a bit shy and only said, "Uh, hi..."

Looking from one to the other, and suddenly sensing that the atmosphere had become tense, Dib said, "Uh, say! I'm _really_ in the mood for some coffee! So, uh...why don't we go to that coffee-shop and talk _there_?!"

"Good idea," said Agent Dark Booty, tearing his eyes away from the mysterious "Tik-tak" to look at his junior agent. "I know this great place up on Popular Hill -why don't we go there?"

'Erm!...' Thought Dib, suddenly aware of how open and easy to access that place was. "I'd really rather go to, uh...the Buffalo Blends shop, just on the outskirts of uptown! ...Is that alright?"

Dark Booty eyed him and decided it was less open and more hidden; so he replied, "The place that sells tea as well? Sure, why not?..." Then he turned to look at "Tik-tak" and said, "Are you alright with that?"

"Sure, whatever," replied Tak easily, making sure to keep her "embarrassed" act up.

"I'm not really fond of coffee..." Dib was explaining to Agent Dark Booty as they went out, "But their muffins are good!"

"Ah...I see!" Said Agent Dark Booty, now partially-convinced that this was just a personal preference...well, partially-partially.

The long drive there was very uneventful. Although the other place up on Popular Hill was much closer to their eventual destination, they still went to the Buffalo Blends place. Agent Dark Booty was thankful that they could talk in private -although he was required to record anything he heard- and he constantly was trying to start conversation. Unfortunately, no one told him about how badly conversation waned in the car with Dib's family. So they didn't get much conversing done.

The basic comments and questions were about Dib's "new friend", now called Tik-tak. They didn't get very far, though, as Agent Dark Booty had to swerve to avoid going through a phantom. Dib could've sworn that was Phoorosz Phiros, although he couldn't be entirely sure.

"S-so!" Said Agent Dark Booty as he finally straightened out on the road, "As I was saying, how long have you two known each other?" At the questioning raise of an eyebrow from Dib, he said, "Well, you don't speak of any other friends, you know. Other than your sister..."

"I've known him for a few weeks, now. We met online," replied "Tik-tak" easily.

"O-oh...!" Was all Agent Dark Booty said. This wasn't getting them anywhere. So he tried something new. And almost hit a giant, red bird while he was at it. "You know about the Swollen Eyeballs, so you must be pretty nervous. It's not like we're going to- WOOAHHH!" The bird in question looked like a rather large type of parrot. Dib wished his relatives would cut it out...if that was indeed because of them.

Dark Booty continued, "We're not going to cut you up or something! We just want verifiable proof." Tak seemed to look away, but gripped her arms in feigned nervousness.

"Yeah, so Dib keeps _insisting_ to me," she replied simply. Dib had to admit: her acting skills were excellent. She was even using whatever doubts she had to feign her own nervousness...! He was quite impressed...but he didn't want to reveal too much information to them.

"I-I'm the one who insisted that she come!" He spoke up from the back. Agent Dark Booty turned an eye to the rear-view mirror to look at him once again, but said nothing. So Dib continued, "I thought that she'd be more at ease if she met the people in charge of it."

'Oooh, good one! You're actually doing better at this,' Tak thought, easing his nervous mind. He felt a sense of relief, even as Agent Dark Booty spoke up again.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," was all he said on this subject. And so the car-ride descended into silence once again.

"Portents," said Agent Dark Booty finally. "A lot of psychics see those. And some are telepathic, there's also telekinesis, as well... Which kinds of powers do you have?" He gave a quick glance down to the girl sitting in the passenger-seat, known as Tik-tak. She didn't look at all surprised by this -well, a psychic probably wouldn't be.

"No portents." She started, thinking for a second, then, "I have telepathy; but I didn't know how to control it, and it was causing me problems. It's hard when you keep sensing what people are trying to say, and you respond to that instead of what they've said." This simple information was making Dib nervous. Should she have mentioned it...? But Tak insisted that if they didn't give him _any_ information, that'd make him suspicious; so he let it be.

"Uncontrolled telepathy," commented Dark Booty. "I didn't think it could become that big of a problem...how far -er, how strong is it? Can you only sense those next to you?"

"Usually, it depends on...lots of stuff. It's sporadic. Sometimes I'll be sensing what some person wants for lunch in the next classroom, or sometimes I'll get a glimpse into someone's minds when I'm talking to them. I haven't sensed anything from you, though..." She turned to look at him, although she hadn't really been trying to sense anything, "Why?"

"Erm!... Usually, with the current problems with security and the Men in Black, we'll use a partial brain-block, which will block low-level psychics from reading our minds. It's only as a precaution: there's lots of governments who will employ psychics to work for them." He hurriedly explained.

"What kind of brain-block?!" Asked Dib excitedly -he was really interested in anything that could block psychic powers. Because that's what the Men in Black were using!

Tak, however, asked a different question, "Then how will you know if my psychic powers _work_?"

"Erm, we'll take it off one of us to see if it'll work. But, I'm sure your friend here can also give us some information as to how it works...!" Dark Booty looked up to the rear-view mirror to see what Dib's reaction would be like. He still seemed slightly worried. That was odd...was that a blue ring on his left hand gripping the seat as he leaned forward? Dark Booty shook the thought off. This was no time to let his mind wander!

"Yeah, right!" Replied Dib hastily, leaning back as Tak reminded him to hide his left hand as much as he could. That ring may look like a college-ring, but it didn't have much explanation behind it. He was glad at last that Tak did get "portents", or rather, futuristic hunches about some things.

"Of course," added Tak, "Although he has absolutely _no_ psychic powers himself. Honestly! It's like talking to a brick wall!" She waved her hand as if it was annoying, and it was...until she'd put the ring on him. Then it wasn't. Then it was more of an annoyance when he used it to contact her. Dark Booty didn't seem to think this was odd, and even smiled at the thought.

"Heh heh, yeah! But, at least we can be sure he won't be taken over by some advanced psychic!" Dark Booty had said this partially because of the humor in it, and also to confirm its relevance. If Dib seemed to be worried, then perhaps he wasn't so immune to psychic abilities?

"Psh! That's what _they_ said," mumbled Dib, more to himself than in response. Agent Dark Booty looked interested. Tak moaned inwardly and warned Dib of mentioning things pertaining to his cousins on the extended side of his family.

"That's what who said?" Asked Agent Dark Booty with obvious interest.

"That's -that was a conversation we were having online," remarked Dib, "They -the other people in that chat-room- mentioned it. I thought it was weird... I mean, _why_ would having_ no_ psychic powers make you _impervious_ to being mentally controlled? But, I guess it makes sense."

"Uh-huh," was all Agent Dark Booty said. They eventually pulled into the parking-lot of Buffalo Blends, the tea/coffee-shop Dib had preferenced, without too much conversation. "Well, we're here!" He said as they got out. Tak noticed him tugging on something under his shirt -it looked odd- but a small mental-sweep revealed nothing. They'd have to keep an eye out for him. That low-level brain-blocker really did work.

"It's my treat, so order whatever you want," added Agent Dark Booty as they went inside.

"I'm not really hungry, so that's alright," replied "Tik-tak" easily. Dib heard this and mentally replied.

'Oh! Yeah! You can't drink any water or anything! That sucks,' he thought as he hurried up to the counter.

'You have NO IDEA!' Replied Tak, sending a feeling over the mental-link about how much Irkens like snacks. Dib decided to focus on buying what he wanted instead of annoying her further. Which just annoyed her even more; but he couldn't sense that. He just wanted some of their muffins, very, _very_ badly!

"I see it looks like you didn't eat much before I came," mentioned Agent Dark Booty as he saw what the kid was ordering. Five of their largest muffins, with an egg-and-meat Eenglish-muffin and a large, Dark Raven Tea. Geeze.

"Nah. I'm just really hungry lately." Replied Dib easily. His comment didn't go unnoticed by Tak, who took the chance to regale their walking pocket-book with his previous meals.

"That's_ nothing_. Before you came, he ate a whole sandwich with what looked like half a chicken, and more spices than was necessary, and a DIET Poop." She eyed him before adding, "I mean, REALLY! Who's so desperate that they'll drink a _diet_ drink!?" Dark Booty gave an amused look.

"Ah, he must be going through a growth-spurt! *Chuckles* I remember doing the exact same thing...only I was fourteen," he thought about this, but the only thing Dark Booty could think of was that each child grows at different rates.

"Mm-hmm!" Replied Dib, with some of his muffin in his mouth as he responded, "Thwatszch whauth mou fifsther fayfths!"

"Dib, don't talk with your mouth full," said "Tik-tak" boredly.

"Showrry," said Dib after swallowing some.

They went to a table and sat down, while Dib wolfed down the food as the other two talked.

"This isn't really because of...you know what...it's just that, well...!" Agent Dark Booty was starting to explain some of the reasons for this little meeting, but he was having a hard time coming up with an explanation that Dib would like. Tak eyed him with interest as he continued speaking. "Your reports used to be so regular, and now, not only with the current problems, but the fact that we didn't even know that you had "it" in the past, well...everyone is worried." Then it was his turn to eye him.

"But that's not _true_!" Replied Dib to his insinuation. "I didn't even realize that it was, well, _that_! And besides, I already got rid of it! I don't know where it _is_!" He replied defensively, stopping in his ferocious eating to exclaim this.

"I- well, from the time-line, that seems to be correct. But, really, can you tell us _anything_?!" Agent Dark Booty insisted hopefully.

"I can't," the target of his insistence glared, "I'm sorry, but I_ don't have it_! So I can't tell you_ anything_!" Dib had by now realized, through his previous experience with the Resisty, that if he said, "I can't tell you anything", it was neither a lie nor the truth. And he had to bet all that he had that he could tell them something this clearly, as long as it wasn't a lie. He wasn't good with lies. He told the truth.

'But, if the truth is used to deceive people, isn't it truly a lie?' Tak thought, but didn't reveal this to Dib, who was currently in a stare-down with Agent Dark Booty, who was surely trying to see if he was in fact telling the truth.

Dark Booty finally leaned back and sighed. "I can't see anything that would cause you to _lie_. And your story does seem to hold water... Though, there's just one thing I can't seem to wrap my head around: If you'd thought you found a psychic, why didn't you contact _us_ first? Isn't that what you'd_ usually_ do?"

"I asked him not to!" Replied Tak insistently, knowing that Dib didn't have an answer prepared. He couldn't keep his nerves under control forever; and she needed to vouch for his story, anyways.

"Really?" Agent Dark Booty turned to look at her.

"Yes! Because I was too nervous! I didn't know what people would think, and I didn't want to get experimented on or something! So, I... I asked him if he'd wait a little bit before telling you, _that's_ all! I didn't tell him to _lie_!" Tak's acting was accentuated by the fact that she had to think of it on the fly: that seemed most natural, actually. But for some reason Agent Dark Booty didn't feel convinced. But since there was no evidence to the contrary, he had to accept their explanation.

"I only waited until she got more comfortable with the idea, that's all," replied Dib, adding credence to her insisting. Agent Dark Booty sighed. There was just no loop-holes in their story, and yet he was _still_ unconvinced. He decided to let it slide, since it was time to head to their promised meeting.

"I guess I'll have to accept that, although I'm not sure that the others will. Your story is sound; however, I'm not able to vouch for the others. They might still insist on having you demonstrate your psychic abilities," said Agent Dark Booty at last, "Are you okay with that?"

Tak and Dib both seemed to ease up after this statement, and Tak replied, "Sure, why not? After all, that's what I expected in the first place."

"Of course!" Added Dib, before looking down to his food and considering whether or not he'd have to take the remaining three muffins and half a drink with him. As well as whether or not he should get a refill...did they charge for refills? It was a large, so maybe they had a discount for that? He didn't know.

"Then, I guess it's time to leave. We'd better get downtown before the shops close," said Agent Dark Booty, instinctively using their code for "meeting-place".

"'Before the shops close' means where we'll be meeting," Dib said to Tak, who simply nodded as if to say, "Oh."

They headed back to the car and drove downtown in even more silence than before. Dib was happy that their explanation had been accepted by Agent Dark Booty, but Tak warned him that he'd also have to convince the rest of them. This then erupted into a mental debate about why she was suddenly so cautious when he'd been the one to warn her. Their debate ended when they finally reached their destination.

The "meeting place" was downstairs of an old abandoned wiener-factory; although this irony made both Dib and Tak laugh inwardly, it did nothing to ease their worries.

The place was re-worked to be a secret meeting-place, just in case... And since things with the Men in Black had escalated, this was in just that case. They climbed down the long stair-ways, turned through long, crazily-twisted corridors, and then finally climbed down a ladder under a hidden man-hole cover to the bottom of the basement. In all this time, there was only one thing that Tak could think of to say...

"Is all this REALLY necessary?!" She asked incredulously as they finally reached the floor.

Dark Booty blinked at her and said, "Well, would you _rather_ the Men in Black or some other enemies found us so _easily_?"

Tak contemplated how stupid this was, compared to a security DNA scanner on a teleporter that could've saved them all of this trouble: she looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and contempt. "That won't_ be_ any trouble if they've tracked us here." She simply said.

Dark Booty eyed her, but kept his frustration at a low ebb as he said, "Don't worry; they won't even be able to get past the first door."

"Why?" Asked Tak again, "Because you have some sort of security-scanners or something?"

"No," said Agent Dark Booty once more, "Because we have well-trained dogs hiding in the dark corners. They have transmitters on their collars, and will respond only to our commands."

"Hm!" Mumbled Tak, "Good dogs."

Dib tried to hide his giggle as he thought about it. With all of the sophisticated technology that they had, only dogs were relied upon to guard their secret meeting-place. Well, a well-trained dog didn't _need_ a power-source, -except kibble- and it wouldn't be so easily by-passed...criminals hated it, because you couldn't reason with an animal; they just kept attacking. So, maybe there was some intelligence in it?...

As Dib thought of this, Tak simply thought of the millions of different ways in which they could escape...because if their hunch was right, and this _did_ go wrong, well...it'd be nice to know where to run to!

They walked again around several corners through the strangely large halls, until they finally got to where they were going. Several other Swollen Eyeball agents were in the room; when Dib counted, he realized that there were about eight altogether. They introduced themselves before getting right down to business.

"Agent Mothman," began the rather short-looking one in a hovering chair, also known as the Head Agent and the most well-known and respected of all of them. "What is the meaning of this? Why have you brought an outsider here?!"

"I didn't!" Explained Dib, "This is my psychic friend, Tik-tak," he explained simply, "I brought her along because I thought she'd be more comfortable if she met you guys."

The others looked to Agent Dark Booty for an explanation. "It all adds up; I talked to them before we got here. It seems that Agent Mothman didn't tell us about his psychic friend at first to_ assure_ her that we meant no harm to psychics; she was very worried about that." He turned to look at her briefly before continuing, "In any event, because of the problems of the psychic-power-enhancing necklace, and the Men in Black, we haven't been able to get any regular reports. So part of the blame _does_ fall on us, for neglecting that." He added this last part just to reassure Dib, although he currently was having his own reassuring conversation mentally with Tak.

'It's okay, don't worry!' Tak was thinking, 'Just calm down! They seem to be buying it.'

"This 'friend' of yours...what sort of powers does she have?" Asked the Head Agent, whose name has not yet been decided.

Dib took a deep breath to calm his nerves and replied, "She just has some telepathy. Not much, and it's really uncontrolled; it's causing problems for her, so she was interested in learning how to control it." The other agents seemed to look at one another, but the explanation seemed good.

"Alright; then tell us exactly what's been going on," replied another of the Head Agents, whose name also has not been decided on yet. But she was a woman, so...yeah. No names for my brain-names! Thing...

Tak took a breath and reassured Dib that she'd been considering this type of question: then she replied. "It's been going on for a while. It's really sporadic. I can't seem to understand whether people want me to reply to what they mean or what they say -sometimes they get mad at that.

"I'll be talking to somebody, and then overhear someone thinking several feet away, or in another room. And then when I want to use it, it won't work, or I'll end up getting too much information that I never even _wanted_ to know about! A lot of my friends think I'm either crazy or just stupid or something." To back up her story, she'd been periodically sending out brief, shallow psychic-sweeps, not enough to alert anyone who might be peeking, but enough to perhaps back her up if they could sense or monitor that sort of thing.

The other Swollen Eyeball Members seemed to consider that. They briefly whispered to each other, before turning back again to look at the "nervous" little girl in front of them. Who, Dib had to admit, did a great job with acting. If she were an Invader, she might conquer an entire planet in _one night_!

...He pouted and decided to stop thinking on that. He might come to regret it, but he needed to continue working with her as his partner, for as long as it took to expose Zim. He also didn't need to think about how the Resisty might somehow find out about thi- OH! HOW'D HE GET HIMSELF INTO THIS KIND OF MESS!? He briefly panicked inwardly, before realizing that the other Swollen Eyeballs were talking to him.

"Well, we'll just have to do some scans to monitor your brain-waves -hold still!" Said one of the Swollen Eyeballs. Tak briefly panicked. She hadn't been able to use her own scanning equipment to check and see what was in this room! Why was she so _stupid_?! She should've done that when Dark Booty's back was turned! The scan came out of a wall and stopped after a few seconds.

After looking at a panel which had slid out of a wall, one of the Swollen Eyeballs stopped and said, "Uhhh...guys? Someone better come have a look at this."

Dib and Tak gave each other telling glances while the rest of the group was too occupied looking at the results from the scan. 'Don't tell me...! Irken brains look a lot different from human ones!...' Thought Dib in panic.

'Yes. As I'm sure you already know,' thought Tak. 'But, we always have our "psychic-enhancing-necklace", so there's that.' Dib widened his eyes in shock at this and thought of his other idea.

'D-don't! I'll handle it! I just have to explain, and then...hope-' he was interrupted as everyone's eyes turned to look at the both of them. "Oh, bleep," slipped out of his mouth.

"'Oh, bleep'! 'Oh, BLEEP!'!" Exclaimed one of the Swollen Eyeball's Head Agents. "I THINK we need a little more of an explanation!" Suddenly, lasers shot out of the ceiling and burned a seal into the floor. The resulting seal shot up a light purple-colored barrier around Tak. Tak looked around herself in shock. Well, this wasn't going well at _all_!

"Uh, _wait_ a minute!" Exclaimed Dib, "Let me _explain_!"

"Let him talk!" Said Agent Dark Booty, hoping Dib's excuse could possibly be a good one. After all, he still didn't believe that he'd betray them. He was just being stupid! "Boys will be boys", as the saying goes.

Dib took a breath and tried to remember the excuse he'd thought up the night before. "This is Tak! She's here on a mission to capture a _dangerous_ criminal! I previously thought that Zim was an actual _Invader_, but as it turns out, he was just sent here in exile! He thinks that by conquering this planet, his leaders will accept him back."

"It's not as if anybody even _wants_ it," added Tak, folding her arms. She decided to help verify his story, even if it didn't go well. After all, who knows? Maybe these people would be smart enough to put aside their indignation and listen to him? "It's too far out. Nobody cares, except for scientific research or a sight-seeing tour."

...And then again, maybe not. "You LIED to us?!" The seething anger from the others was enough to convince Tak that they couldn't be reasoned with.

"She _insisted_! Something about...uhm..." Dib tried to think, but his mind had betrayed him and run off with the previous excuse for that.

"It wasn't_ possible_ to ask the Earth's authorities for help, when they hadn't even_ admitted publicly_ that there was alien life outside their own _planet_. It would cause mass hysteria, and peoples' lives were at risk." Tak summed up for him. Dib looked at her appreciatively and nodded.

"Yeah! That's why!"

"You didn't have to _hide_ something like that from us! We could've helped! Unless, of course, you were trying to hide something...?" One of the Swollen Eyeball Agents spoke up. Tak could tell that his mind was leaning towards taking the glory for the discovery of an alien all for himself; and that _wasn't_ good!

Greed led people to do...rather horrible things. It caused them to act illogically, too...as well as caused divisions. Tak responded, "Zim is a _horrible menace_ who has caused _countless_ deaths and destruction; did you_ want_ to be involved?"

"What makes you think he's so dangerous?" Asked Agent Dark Booty.

"First, he is responsible for _two_ instances of several years of black-outs; you can imagine the problems that caused. Next, he's invented several _destructive_ and _dangerous_ monsters which lead to the deaths of many, including two of our previous leaders, Miyuki and Spork," she didn't mention that they were called the "Tallest", because that usually caused people to laugh. She hated it when they did that. "_Then_ he destroyed most of our own _home-world_ with a battle-mech," she gingerly side-stepped the whole, "Operation Impending Doom 1" part, "and FINALLY, according to Dib here, he's cause_ more_ than enough destruction to merit his arrest according to your own planet's laws."

Dib could tell that she was trying to hide her own personal feelings on this matter, and he decided to step in, "Yeah! Remember that time with the super-slow explosion?! Or those horrible mutant-rat thingies?! Or that time he flew Mars and tried to squish out all life!? He's a REAL _menace_!"

"And how can WE confirm that you're telling the_ truth_!?" Exclaimed another of the Head Swollen Eyeball Agents. "Who knows what kind of LIES or MIND-CONTROL you could be using?! Especially on such a young agent!" The statement cause all to look at Dib. He pouted.

"Oh, COME ON!" Exclaimed Dib, "WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, AN _IDIOT_!?" Everyone decided to keep their opinions about that to themselves for the time being. "And besides, I DO have a way to confirm it! There's some kind of war going on right now between the Irkens and the Resisty; all you have to do is call the Resisty up and_ confirm_ it!" Tak looked to Dib like he was the biggest idiot ever -why did he think this would help their case?! "They _know_ what Zim's here for! In fact, their leader even has a _grudge_ against him! I've DONE the research, there's NOTHING to doubt!"

"EXCEPT for the fact that I've got the results of the second scan, and they've shown something _very_ interesting...!" Spoke up another member of the Swollen Eyeballs. Tak turned to look at Dib again with a look of, "this isn't working!" But she didn't need to say anything about that.

"What?!" Everyone else asked with interest. While they were doing that, Dib wondered if Tak could escape from that force-field.

'No, I can't. I've tried poking it, and it doesn't seem to have any openings. I'll scan it to see what it is, first.' Replied Tak, just as the other person started to speak. Dib almost didn't get to react to it.

"There's a rather STRONG concentration of psychic energy around her back, and I was just wondering...what could possibly make that? Could it be, uhm, say...the psychic-power-enhancing NECKLACE?!"

'Oh, CRUD...!' Was the combined thought of both Dib and Tak. Tak had just scanned the force-field, and determined it wasn't of technological origin -therefore it couldn't be combated with normal means. And Dib had just realized that they knew that Tak had the psychic-necklace. The others of the group had gasped and looked over at Dib and Tak, who were currently exchanging information.

Just as Tak thought up a sizable explanation, "Well, actually, the Irken PAK-" she was interrupted.

"You HAD it ALL ALONG!?" Exclaimed Agent Dark Booty. The shocked look on Dib's face was more than telling.

"Uhrm!...you see...!" Started Dib.

"I bet he's been LYING to us ALL ALONG!" Exclaimed one of the agents.

'Aaand it's started,' thought Tak to Dib, before finally saying, "It's not as if any of _you_ wanted it."

Dib looked around at her in shock. Of course, his face was already showing extreme shock, so he was aware of its lack of effect on his companion. "It's not what you THINK!" Exclaimed Dib, waving his hands in front of his face innocently.

"I thought you were TERRIBLE at lying," said Agent Dark Booty, giving Dib a rather dark look that cut him to his heart.

"Well, I-I wasn't! Lying, I'm -I'M NOT A LIAR! I just couldn't TELL everybody 'cause I'm working along with HER to take down a dangerous ALIEN CRIMINAL, and -NO! THIS ISN'T WORKING! NO explanation WILL SATISFY YOU!" Dib yelled, clutching his head. This was escalating further and further...

"HAH! He's FREAKING OUT! YOU SEE!? He MUST BE guilty!" Exclaimed another one of the Swollen Eyeball members.

"Alright!" Yelled Tak suddenly, "THAT'S IT! Dib," she turned to look at him, "We're _leaving_! It's obviously no use talking to these people!" She sent a cutting glare over at the Swollen Eyeballs, who simply interpreted it as an evil glare. "Although I still have no idea what kind of force-field this is...it'll be no match for the power of this psychic-necklace, I gather!" She didn't specifically know this, but at this point, it was pretty safe to assume what they feared would be so powerful.

"THAT'S a containment-circle!" Exclaimed one of the Swollen Eyeballs agents, "And THIS is the PSYCHIC-containment-circle!" She pressed a button and the lasers cut into the floor again, this time enhancing its powers. "They were discovered in an ancient alchemist's text," she added, pleased with herself, as she was the one who'd done the discovering of said ancient alchemist's text.

Dib face-palmed and said, "Oh CRUD!" At this moment, Agent Dark Booty took the time to actually examine that he did have a ring on his left-hand, because he was using it to beat his head in.

"That reminds me, Agent _Mothman_," began Agent Dark Booty, saying his code-name with contempt, "Since when do you wear JEWELRY?" Dib blinked, looked at his hand, and then back at Agent Dark Booty.

"Um...fashion-statement?" He replied nervously. And since that was obviously the silliest kind of reply he could come up with, the others obviously glared at him. And then grilled him.

"What KIND of fashion-statement?!" Asked one of the women.

"What does it DO?!"

"Does it have anything to do with your current 'mission'?!" Came the various accusatory questions.

And then the Head Agent finally added his two cents to the mix, "I suppose you were planning on telling us THIS, too, eh, 'Agent Mothman'?" The fact that everyone had been using his code-name so contemptuously only meant that he was in danger of being kicked out of the Swollen Eyeballs.

There was only one thing he could do; unfortunately, Tak was having a hard time doing it. 'Ta~aak! What are you DOING!? Break out of there!' Exclaimed Dib in anguish, mentally.

'That's what I've been trying to do -unfortunately, they're right: this IS a psychic-containment field.' Replied Tak in the most demotivational way he'd heard her all night. This did not bode well. He hurriedly started searching his pockets for something, ANYthing, to cut into the floor enough to disrupt the seal -however, his Swiss-army knife was not equipped with a laser-cutter. Shoot!

"Oh, don't do anything rash, 'Agent Mothman'," replied one of the Swollen Eyeball Agents at his frantic fumbling around.

"Actually, funny thing," started Tak, thinking to Dib with the beginnings of a thought that he easily expanded upon. "About that _ring_, that is...!" The ring was _outside_ the force-field, yet Tak and Dib were still communicating. Which meant...!

"What...?" Asked the Head Eyeball Agent, almost afraid if he should ask because of how smug she was looking.

"It's _more_ than just a fashion-statement!" Exclaimed Dib, as he put all his hopes on their combined idea working. 'Now let's just see how strong that force-field is when I do THIS!' He focused as hard as he could, Tak doing the same, sending a signal to the ring. The force-field waned; it wasn't made to be attacked from both the inside AND the outside!

The field exploded in a flash of bright, purplish light, and everyone blinked their eyes when it passed to see Tak jumping out of it. "Okay! I'd love to stay and fight, but LET'S RUN!" Dib said as he grabbed onto Tak's arm and made a break for it. The others just stared at the freak event in wild, wide-eyed wonder.

"Uhh...just for the record!" Shouted Dib from around the corner as he'd run back to tell them, "I'm not betraying you, butIgotta'run,now,so,BYE!" He was already half-way down the hallway by the time he finished.

"The- the containment-circle..." muttered the female agent who'd been quite proud of discovering it.

"Well?!" Asked the Head Agent suddenly, "What are you _waiting_ for!?" The others jumped, then hurried after the two idiotic partners.

"AND WATCH OUT FOR THAT NECKLAAA-ACE!"

Agent Dark Booty looked around, but then hurried off after them. There wasn't just the obvious reason that they all thought that Agent Mothman was betraying them -but something about it just didn't seem _right_! Dib didn't seem to think that he was betraying them, so why was it so hard to _believe_?! He_ seriously_ needed some evidence...!

Dib and Tak both hurried down the hallways, jumping in and out of doors and frantically avoiding traps. If they took a crazy route the long way out, would it keep the others from following them? They really, _really_ hoped so.

They ended up running into a room which had no traps, and paused to catch their breath. "I _TOLD_ YOU THIS WAS STUPID!" Exclaimed Dib in pent-up anger as soon as he'd caught his.

"SHUT-UP! This is no time to argue!" Replied Tak, and almost clamped a hand over his mouth at what he next said.

"YOU never LISTENED TO ME!" Continued Dib in anger.

"SHUT-UP and STOP TALKING!" Exclaimed Tak just as angrily. She was quite aware how much of a mess she'd made of things. It didn't help that he kept talking _out loud_ about it!

'ALRIGHT, then I'LL CONTINUE SHOUTING IN YOUR HEAD!' Thought Dib loudly. As loud as he could, actually.

'AlRIGHT! THAT SOUNDS FINE TO ME! JUST AS LONG AS YOU CAN ALSO HELP ME THINK OF A WAY_ OUT_ OF THIS!' Replied Tak just as loudly. In fact, the sheer mental force from it started to sting; but Dib endured it.

'FINE, THEN!' Exclaimed Dib mentally, but then he turned and sighed, crossing his arms. 'I was _hoping_ it wouldn't turn out like this...'

'Yeah, _tell_ me about it!' Replied Tak, also sighing. This entire thing was bound to leave the both of them exhausted by the time it was done with. But before that, they still needed to escape! Dib almost turned and glared at her for this comment, but noticed her change of pace and relaxed just a little bit.

Even as they thought, there was someone they didn't notice, standing just on the other side of the door to the room, listening. When he didn't notice any sounds for few seconds, he chanced to take a peek through the window with the use of a little hand-held mirror...well, okay, so it was a compact, but it was useful, dang-it! When he didn't see anything other than them looking and glaring alternatingly at each other, he began to wonder. If they'd stopped talking, then why did they look as if they were having a conversation? This was getting _weird_!

'Okay, then...' thought Dib, at last getting back to the topic, 'We_ know_ which way we came in -unfortunately, so do _they_! Which means that we must take a _different_ way! But how can we _find_ it?!'

'I've tapped into their computer-network,' thought Tak as she worked on a small screen which extended from her PAK, 'But it looks like there's only_ one_ way out.' Then she looked up at him and thought, 'Dang! They're smart!'

'Cool, and thanks,' replied Dib to her complimenting his fellow paranormal enthusiasts. Then, 'But how are we gonna' get _out_?!'

'Ssshh!' Thought Tak, turning to look at the door. They both nodded, then proceeded to stand on both sides of the door to the little room they were in. 'I thought I heard someone coming.'

'Then we'd better get on with this, fast!' Replied Dib, nervously. He didn't know why, but his instincts were going wild, and the hair was standing up on the back of his neck!

'I'm already on it,' replied Tak. 'I think I can blast our way out, as long as we can get up that ladder to the level above us.'

'Cool!' Thought Dib, although his body was excitedly trying to tell him to run, 'Then let's get out of here!' Without another word, then, he yanked open the door to the room and grabbed Tak's hand as they raced out.

'Hey,' thought Tak as they unknowingly rushed past a quickly-hidden Dark Booty. 'You're grabbing my hand.' She was too busy thinking about how strange this was to notice the hidden Booty.

_(A/N: BEST_SENTENCE_EVER_UNINTENTIONALLY_WRITTEN!)_

'This is no time to dwell on semantics!' Dib thought as they rounded a corner and gasped as they almost were spotted by someone.

'Then,' thought Tak as she yanked her hand away from him, 'DON'T do it!'

'I think there's a way out through here,' thought Dib, completely ignoring her last comment. He went to grab for her hand again and almost teetered as he was reaching for air. 'I'll, uh -just come_ this_ way!' He exclaimed mentally, now almost embarrassed at the unconscious instinct. 'Maybe we can get out without-!'

He gasped as they saw who was right there. Two Swollen Eyeball agents with some seriously swollen eyeballs were staring, wielding what looked like potentially-dangerous potential weapons. 'Don't move!' Thought Tak as she pulled something out of her PAK. It was simply a bright light, but in the dimly-lit corridors, it blinded them enough to allow the two to slip by.

"Curse yooouuu AGENT MOTHMAN!" Shouted the woman, as the man screamed.

"AAAH! MY EYES!"

"...AND YOUR LITTLE ALIEN-FRIEND, TOOOOO!" Echoed down the hall after them.

'You know,' thought Tak, 'We've _really_ got to get something straight, the next time we meet with them.' Then she looked towards Dib with a smirk, thinking of his commonly-used mention. 'We're NOT friends, we're PARTNERS.' Dib could only half-heartedly smirk, as his wildly-racing heart kept pumping him to going faster. Faster and faster and faster...!

Then, suddenly, grabbing Tak and sliding down under a half-foot ledge which had previously held some kind of trap they'd set off long ago, Dib thought, 'We'll be safe in here! Until it passes, that is.'

'WHAT!?' Was all Tak thought as he did this. When eventually they were settled into the little niche, the pounding of footsteps rushed by them.

"That's funny!" Came one of their voices. "I could've sworn I saw them run by here!"

'Your instincts are surprisingly sharp,' thought Tak. 'I'm impressed that you actually _saw_ this place to hide.'

'Shut-up! I'm still trying to calm myself down!' Thought Dib, as he wildly pushed his growing fear down. If they didn't get out of here, fast, then something _bad_ was going to happen...! Tak observed this strange surge of instinctive emotions with renewed interest. It sure was_ strange_!

'Uh, Dib? Why don't we-!' Tak almost jumped as he forced her back under the niche, watching with wild eyes. Okay, this was getting more interesting. 'Dib, are you alright?' She chanced to ask.

'What!? NO! Why?!' Thought Dib as he still looked frantically out from under the little niche. 'We've got to get out -something _bad's_ going to happen!' Without even waiting for a sign of understanding from her, he rushed out, pulling her along. This was seen by the Swollen Eyeballs, of course, but he didn't care. There were much more pressing matters to deal with...!

'That's wha-a-a-iii-i-it!' Tak's mind yelled at him, but it didn't stop him from almost carrying her, with the force of his pulling. There was a loud "BOOM!" heard, and pieces of the concrete came falling down from the ceiling; it was obviously from upstairs.

'That's what I was trying to_ warn_ you abooouuuut!' Thought Dib, although he had no idea how he could've known. It was almost as if his body was moving on its own, and yet, it wasn't exactly a _stupid_ thing to be allowing it -so he kept on allowing it. It carried them both around the falling debris, past dancing lasers, and finally, clutching onto the ladder that lead up to the top, they had just enough time to climb up before the lower-rungs were blasted off by another trap -or a Swollen Eyeball Agent. Whatever.

'Sheesh! Dib, since when are you this INSANE?!' Thought Tak as she and Dib continued to rush up the ladder. 'And _chivalrous_,' she added as an afterthought. Well, he'd never grabber her out of harm's way before! And that _was_ odd.

'Look!' Exclaimed Dib mentally, 'I'm SORRY I'm acting weird! But we've gotta' get out of here, and I don't know why or how, but my body's static-ey-eyed and I can't stop now, or we'll_ die_!' His frantic thoughts, though unusual, were right. They _were_ in an awfully dangerous spot. Hanging onto a ladder for dear life wasn't usually considered typical relaxation.

'Alright! Then lead on, Mr. Weirdness!' She thought in response to this, and they were relatively quiet as he led the way up the ladder.

"Agent Dark Booty!" They heard someone exclaim from down below. "THERE you are! Where WERE you?!"

"I THOUGHT we were only CAPTURING THEM!" Exclaimed Agent Dark Booty, "What's with all the EXPLOSIONS and GUNS and LASERS exploding everywhere?!"

"We can't control them all! They must've set off too many traps!" Came their hurried response. "And we think there's someone SHOOTING at us up there!"

'Well, at least you know he's still on your side,' thought Tak as she read his mind, to Dib. He wasn't convinced that Dib had betrayed them yet.

'Mmm-hrmmm!' Thought Dib as he continued to climb. There was no time to think about this! There was another -"BOOOM!"- explosion!

'Now_ that's_ surprising -you almost predicted it!' Exclaimed Tak in interest. 'Wow! Now, if only you would use that more-'

'NOT _NOW_!' Thought Dib, anxious, 'At ANOTHER TIME, I _PROMISE_!' Tak pouted, as her fun had been popped like a bubble; but given the circumstance, it wasn't easy to see why he was acting like this, so...she just had to agree and shut up. Darn-it! And he was the one who was usually deadly-curious!

Their excitingly deadly climb was almost at its end, when suddenly...(once again!)...!

The ceiling burst open to reveal Zim's ship, piloted by...Skoodge?! There was a bevy of Men in Black behind him in the corridors; it looked like he'd literally blasted his way down until he found them, and the Men in Black just followed the holes he'd made. Whatever the case, only one thing made even less sense than the appearance of Skoodge: that was what he said as he opened up the ship's windshield.

"Oh, thank _goodness_ I found you! I was worried when that worm-mutt gave me directions! I thought those Suit-wearing-Vampires_ wanted_ us here!" Shouted Skoodge as he motioned for them to get in.

Taken aback by those words, it was the only thing that seemed to stop Dib's frantic mind long enough to think, 'HUH!?'

'Ex-Invader Skoodge?!' Exclaimed Tak mentally.

'WHAT!?' Thought Dib, still frozen at the weirdness. He shook his head and thought, 'Let's get out of here! And NOT in that ship!'

Then, suddenly Tak thought, 'I'll bet my communicator will work, now! Since everything's in bedlam, anyways.'

'YOU MEAN your communicator WASN'T WORKING!?' Exclaimed Dib mentally.

'Oh, what?! Like I have to tell you EVERYTHING!? It's not like it would've HELPED!' Retorted Tak, as she spoke into her communicator, "Let's _go_! Get us out of here, ship! Mimi!" Then, seeing the giant blob of black heading for them mysteriously hanging in the air, she added, "HURRY!"

Dib and Tak jumped up the ladder to the hallway and ran away from Skoodge, who looked on in wonder, shouting, "Hey! WAIT!"

"WHERE _ARE_ YOU!?" Shouted Tak into her communicator, "SHIP! MIMI~I~I!"

'UUUHAAAAHHH! THIS ISN'T WHAT I HAD PLANNED TONII~II~GHT!' Thought Dib as they ran down the hallway, dodging Men in Black, traps, and debris. That mysterious blob of black had turned out to be a blimp, holding waaay more Men in Black than they wanted to think about. The hallways were littered with smoke, and lights were flashing, noises of sirens and explosions and screaming...! Dib thought that he would go def if he were stuck in there much longer!

They found their pathway blocked by the Men in Black who'd newly swarmed out of that giant black blob blimp. Turning, things were the same behind them. A Man in Black made a swishing motion; Dib's mind clicked with a sudden instinct, and he whirled around, pushing Tak to the ground. The laser of whatever gun it was he'd reached for hit the ground harmlessly. 'Um, thanks,' thought Tak, being smushed uncomfortably on the floor. 'Now, get _off_ me, please.'

The ceiling above them exploded, and they cowered while the Men in Black exploded and shot at whatever it was doing the exploding. They looked up to see, once again, Skoodge in Zim's ship. He seemed to be taking out the Men in Black for them, so they ran back the way they came, deciding to take the _easy_ way out...up!

'Alley-oop!' Thought Tak as she grabbed Dib and extended her PAK legs to ascend the piles of broken debris. "Ship! Mimi! Come around to meet me!" She spoke into her communicator.

{Alright, we're almost there!} Came the ship's voice over the communicator. {The Little Runabout will be there first!} It said, referring to Tak's second means of conveyance.

"Good!" Said Tak, as she finally reached the top of the piles of rubble near the roof and watched for the Little Runabout to come swooping down. Dib saw the fleeting glimpse of a werewolf and a giant fuzzy-thing, before Tak threw him into the air in one smooth motion. "Take him, first!"

'Uwaaahhhh! Tak, whhyyy!' Thought Dib as he was flung into the air and landed, upside-down, in the Little Runabout.

'One good turn deserves another!' Replied Tak carelessly as she shot a couple of Men in Black in the heads before being picked up by the ship.

As they flew away, Dib tried his hardest to spot any of the Swollen Eyeball Agents, but he couldn't find any in this fire-fight. But one of them stared up at him, unseen, from the boulders of concrete which had previously made up their secret meeting-place.

Agent Dark Booty glared, but not out of hate. He was surprised, confused, and greatly angered; but his main concern was with the previous episode. 'I didn't see much indication of him betraying us...it's certainly not in his character...!' If he trusted his gut feeling, he'd believe what Dib had said. But...the others wouldn't believe him. Not until he'd earned their trust. The sirens blared and the smoke continued to rise, but he just stared up into the dark, night sky.

'"Suspicous actions", my BUTT!'

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TO BE CONTINUED...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Isn't that the _greatest_ line to end on? Huh? HUH?! *Laughs* Anyways, by now, you ought to know the drill!

KEEP ON TRUCKIN'! TO...THAT...THINGY...TO THE RIGHT-HAND SIDE...! -


	8. Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard? Agains!

DISCLAIMER: Repeat, don't rinse...repeat.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: It's _still_ going! I'll be happy when it's finally all finished and uploaded! *Laughs*

...IT IS CONTINUED...EVEN MORE!:

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Tak and Dib lay on the floor of Dib's room, just staring up at the ceiling, blinking. And thinking. It all really hadn't made any kind of sense...and they were still in shock. Well, thinking about it, not technically in shock, just...thinking.

Tak hadn't even bothered going back to her new base. She had left the brain-monitoring-thingy at his place, and she'd wanted to try it out once their little farce with the Swollen Eyeballs was over, but...right now, it just didn't seem necessary. They still had a lot to go over, and unless she wanted him falling asleep at her place, she decided she'd better just discuss it at his house with him until he conked out; like he was bound to do, now.

But Dib wasn't conked out. The strange rush of adrenaline and instinct had left his mind whirling with thoughts about who was and who _wasn't_ an enemy...and quite frankly, he didn't mind as much. It was nice to have some time to go over these things while they were both in the same room. Wait, why were they both laying on the floor, again?

'Dib, the way your mind runs around, back and forth, in circles and in spirals is amazing.' Replied Tak to his strange ways of thinking. 'You said that there was a hidden code-circle of a mosaic in your ceiling's stucco, and I wanted to see what it was. Then you-'

'Oh! Yeah, and then I laid down 'cause it was easier to see, and you said that sounded comfortable, so you did, too...huh!' Thought Dib as he still continued to stare. 'Well, I can't find it tonight. I think you're laying in my spot.'

'What'd it look like?' Asked Tak, still vaguely interested. It also made a nice distraction from their previous disturbing experience. 'And please don't say that it looks like a magic circle.'

'Psh! As if,' thought Dib, 'Oh! There it is! See?! There! It's a part of that bit, and then...little bit of a thingy there...!'

'Huh! That is neat,' admitted Tak.

'I wonder what that is...?' Thought Dib, still staring with his mouth wide open.

'An...optical illusion...?' Thought Tak sardonically, with a slight laugh. This was a nice little reprieve from their serious thoughts... But, time to get back on track. She leaned up and stretched, eventually standing up.

'Oh, come on!' Thought Dib as she did this. 'It just reminds me of those lasers burning circles into the ground! And _yes_,' he added with a slight glare towards her, 'I am pretty sure those were "magic circles".'

'Okay, whatever!' Thought Tak, finishing her stretching with her arms, 'Can we_ please_ get back on topic?!'

'I thought we _were_ on topic!' Pouted Dib, sitting up again and looking away. 'And anyways, it won't do us any good -we've _already_ gone through all the facts, and we STILL don't know a thing! Like, what was that guy, what's-his-name, Skoodge, doing there?!'

'Look,' thought Tak, as she noticed his moping, 'If you're so _interested_ in that design on your ceiling, then why don't you trace it out up there and let's get back to considering our current _problem_!' Then, anticipating his questions/answers, she turned around to face him and thought, 'It's _not_ a lost cause; we can use this to our _advantage_! Any weapon that's thrown against us, we can use to our _own_ advantage!' She thought with a finger up in the air.

'That's a really...interesting thought, there,' replied Dib as he looked at her. 'I never realized just how strange it looks to be staring at someone who's not talking, yet they're moving and gesturing wildly as if they're having a conversation!'

Tak, realizing that she _was_ in fact moving and gesturing without speaking, glared at him. 'That's not fair! You're supposed to be thinking about what I was just saying: NOT the way I was moving!'

'Well, then why were you MOVING!?' Exclaimed Dib mentally, now confusing the entire issue altogether.

'That's-that's- ARGH!' Exclaimed Tak mentally, hands gripping the air fruitlessly, as she was silent. '_Why_ did we get off-topic _again_?!'

'Because_ I'm_ tired and _you're_ obsessive about this,' thought Dib boredly. Then he instantly yawned, reminding himself of how tired he actually was. This entire thing, what with the Swollen Eyeball discovering Tak, and then the attack by the Men in Black, and suddenly someone showing up who was an ex-Invader named Skoodge who'd successfully conquered a planet of horrible, slaughtering rat-people and survived being shot out of a canon and the painful, horrible Military-training planet Hobo 13, not to _mention_ their normal concerns about capturing Zim, and... well, it was understandably _exhausting_!

'No, wait!' Thought Tak, with a hand on her chin, 'That doesn't make_ any_ sense. Usually _you're_ the obsessive one...'

'Huh. Yeah.' Thought Dib, smirking. 'Well, I'm tired and I think my adrenaline-rush just died down, now, so...uh... I hate to say this, but get out of my room.'

'Wha?' Thought Tak, 'Why would you _hate_ to say it?'

'Because, for one of the first times in my life...I'm too tired to even be curious.' Replied Dib as he opened and closed his mouth, smacking his sadly-dry tongue against his lips. 'I think I need a drink or something...'

'Goodnight,' Tak rolled her eyes at this and turned to leave, 'Oh, and make sure you put that brain-wave-monitor where nobody can see it.'

'Yeah, yeah, sure,' Dib waved, not even bothering to get off the floor. '_You_ just make sure nobody follows you to your house,' he replied in kind.

'Uh-huh...that's weird,' thought Tak as she left.

'What's weird?!' Asked Dib, worried.

'Nothing. You just seemed more...concerned...than normal,' replied Tak, though she was already halfway down the stairs at this point.

'You know, we _really_ oughta' learn how to end a conversation,' replied Dib as his mind trailed off, thinking about the current weirdness that he'd gotten so used to. And about washing up before going to bed.

'_You're_ one to talk!' Replied Tak again, although this time it was in some good humor. 'And anyways, _don't_ say I didn't _warn_ you~!' Her thoughts had a sort-of sing-song quality, that made Dib confused...well, more than just about what she'd said.

'What? Warn me about what!? WHAT!?' His exclamations fell on def brain-cells, because she'd taken off the necklace, just to confuse him even more. That kid was so much fun to mess with.

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That night, he had a very strange dream.

He was floating, flying way above the planets, and yet he wasn't in outer-space. Despite the fact that it looked an awful lot like it, it also seemed as if it was the sky, with the wind blowing past him. Hiding...

Hiding... Looking away, he caught a glimpse of something glowing, and shining. It was standing next to another glowing thing, and it said, "Come along with me." Well, just as soon as he'd gone to fly after it, another one was standing, not shining, but glowing a dark, dark color. And it was pulling on him, pulling on his arms, telling him to "Come back to Earth. For there's nothing you want out there." Just as he turned to look after the last glowing, shiny thing, it was gone. And the dark, black glowing thing was pulling him farther and farther, back towards his home, back towards his own planet.

"Who are you...?" He asked, but as soon as the words left his mouth, they transformed into bubbles and flew away in the wind. He couldn't talk to it, but it just shook its head. Now it was shining again, and it looked a lot like someone he knew. Held onto his hand, a finger at its lips, it just looked at him and said, shining glowing ever brighter and colors changing to a reddish, "Please come back here."

"I don't want to, I'm-!" But then he woke up.

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Turning over in his bed, he realized that he hadn't even taken his clothes off. That was odd. But there was no time for it, he realized as he turned to look at his clock. 10 O'clock. That meant that he was late for class! Rising and running for his books and things, he took one last look in the mirror before realizing that he looked like he'd slept in his clothes after running for his life last night. Huh! That _was_ what had happened, but...after all, he really didn't need the_ other_ kids telling him that.

Oh, well... Though he usually didn't bother too much with his appearance, he got an odd sort of jump to his body when he realized that he'd also have to talk with Tak about what'd happened last night. And... The skool didn't _really_ know he'd been in it, nor did they care about it, now that he wasn't yelling about stuff so much... He hadn't realized it, but he'd been too busy recently.

Throwing down his bag, he hopped downstairs for some food and thoroughly enjoyed the dangerously guilty pleasure of missing school for a very good reason -besides being sick- for once! That, and he was just plain lazy...but that was besides the point!

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After eating breakfast, he poked Tak on their "psychic-link" and thought, 'Hey, gorgeous! What's up?!' Thoroughly startling her.

"U-WAaaAUUuuUGH!" She yelped as she spilt what she was carrying, crashing eventually to the floor in a horrendous display of, well...shock. "YOU STUPID _IDIOT_!" She thought as well as screamed. The homemade SIR-Unit instantly stood by her side, helping pick things up. 'Look what -er, you- hey, HEY! Are you LAUGHING?! LOOK what you've made me -what you've DONE!'

Dib couldn't help but laugh and giggle as he covered his mouth, half-hoping his dad didn't find he wasn't at school today, and half-hiding his laughter from Tak. Even if it wasn't necessary or working. 'I -I'm sorry, I can't HELP it!' He laughed some more, then thought, 'I wasn't actually expecting THAT!' It was true! He'd been hoping to get the drop on her with some kind of crazy, confusing remark; he just didn't expect that it'd be so funny~! This was too much fun -he should try it more often~!

'Oh, hah hah HAH!' Thought Tak in anger as she picked up the broken pieces of beakers and various other lab-equipment that she'd been carrying. 'I guess we'll have to put the Physical Psychic Affect Test off 'till next week, now.'

Dib tried to stifle his giggling until he could consistently think, 'What test?'

'The test to determine just what, exactly, kind of physical effects these psychic powers can have. I'd have done it_ before_ we test going into other people's psyches, but now, since most of my EQUIPMENT is BROKEN! we'll have to do it _afterward_. I'll be over later on to try out the brain-wave-monitoring-device.'

Finally calming down from his loony giggling, Dib thought, 'Why not come and do it, now? I'm free, since I don't plan on going to skool today. That reminds me! I just had this _really weird_ dream!'

'Yeah, and I was doing_ so_ well tuning you out, again.' Thought Tak with a pout, pitying her loss of focus with that large tray of stuff she was carrying. It wasn't the mechanical parts she'd been moving that were of great interest -it was her last piece of Iodine- not the kind used on this planet, mind you, but the kind that was a rock/bouyant plant-animal that liked to eat stuff. It was also quite good at sensing the biorhythms of other life-forms, which was why she was so sad to lose it.

Ironically, it had burnt to death in a puddle of actual Iodine... They _really_ needed to figure out new names for these... Well, not actually _they_. Speaking of which...

'Well, I can't, right now. I'll have a few more things to figure out since I just lost my last little piece of an Iodine.' Sighed Tak with resignation to her freak-accidentey-fate. 'I'll have to order another one and then fix my moneys problem...' She looked to the side as she tried to think of how many people she could exploit.

'Oh, well, that's too bad, then...' thought Dib, as he took a bite of his last piece of sandwich. It was really not his fault that she fell...just rotten timing on his part. But even still... 'Hm...still hungry...' he thought as he turned to look at the rest of the kitchen. He wasn't even thinking about the strange little sea-creature that apparently could sense biorhythms and was not native to this solar-system... That was strange, especially to Tak, who'd gotten used to, and even expected, his annoying curiosity. She voiced this as well.

Looking around at each of the cabinets, Dib said, "Yeah, well, I don't know!" Further belying his lack of intelligent interest in all of this. Thoughts weren't always that easy to decipher, but this...was getting interesting. 'And I'm interested to see what you find, too.' Dib thought at almost the same time as she was thinking of considering thinking it to him.

'Uhrm! Okay, now THAT'S just weird!' Thought Tak in awkward alarm. 'I mean, I know we've been linked psychically lately, but, uh...!' She didn't quite know how to phrase this, and so she paused to reflect on what was wrong. 'Okay, then...what comes to your mind when I say..."Uncle Jimbo's Flying Poodles"?'

Dib just blinked and stopped mid-swing in his step to fling the refrigerator door closed and finish his sandwich. 'Uhm...what?!'

'Okay, that's good,' sighed Tak with relief. 'For a second there, I almost expected you to say what I was thinking at the exact same time as me! You know, your reactions have gotten almost _insanely_ fast lately,' she added this last part, bringing up a series of pictures of their last encounter.

Pictures floated by in his head, and Dib thought, 'Heh! It's just like a photo-album! Except with moving pictures and words! And feelings,' His mind briefly flashed back to that last dream he'd had, but he quickly brushed it away. 'Cool. But...you know, that won't _prove_ anything! I was about to get blown to bits quite possibly by my _own_ people!... That wasn't very fun! Actually, I was scared_ spit-less_! No, really -I even tried to spit on my _boot_!' Tak just rolled her eyes at that lame joke, and thought about his comments instead of his humor. It was pretty easy to miss...!

'Well, I guess you have a point,' she thought at last. 'I've had plenty of years of training in intense battle-type-situations, and you're a child.' Dib stiffened at this mention and almost wanted to say something...until he remembered he'd forgotten the mustard and the chutney. 'I'm also a little...interested...in why you're eating such weird food. I mean, besides your sister's obvious ideas.'

'Oh, hoh hoh!' Thought Dib with a pout, tasting a little bit of his bread. 'I thought we were going to talk about _serious_ stuff?'

Tak just sighed and shook her head. 'Next time. Right now, like I said earlier, I have some..."business" to attend to...and yes, that was also a rather lame pun.' She "hung-up" mentally and decided to pull the necklace off for just a second to ignore any of his lame come-backs. Then she remembered, 'Oh, and see ya',' she pulled it off, but it wouldn't come off in the first try. Not even when she'd pulled it out of her PAK where she usually hid it!

This was getting stranger than usual. But for right now, she needed to focus on the task of putting her remaining lab-equipment that hadn't gotten shattered, back into its places and calling for more moneys. And THEN she could worry about the clingy necklace.

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The mind was truly weirder than the heart -the heart was at least straight-forward about its desires- but the mind twisted things and made them easier to think of...then unwound and twisted them again, just for sport! So it was in this way that Dib was thinking, over and over and over again, about all of his misadventures with Tak, when he sat down at his computer for the first time in who knows how long to check his e-mail.

'Hhmm...there's an e-mail from someone called "Agent Short-pants". That sounds interesting. I thought we weren't using electronic communications. Heh, maybe they've been out of town and didn't get that memo?... Oh, hey, my cousins are online! _Finally_, someone I've been meaning to talk to!' Thought Dib, as he clicked on the little Zippi-dee Doo Dah messenger. 'I hope Pooki's able to come to the computer; maybe I can pester her?'

(Translated, as always, from Targe`t, aka French, within *these things*:)

BouledBolodPoissons: *Heya, man! What's happened?! Everyone's suddenly really worried around here! We're not even in the same country! What's going on in that crazy city of yours?*  
He occasionally liked to spout faux-slang. It wasn't cool-sounding, but that was besides the point right now.

M07HM4ND: *Hey, Bolo the Ball of Fish. I need to talk to Pooki. Is she close to her computer?*  
Since Pooki and Chewie lived relatively close to each other, it was pretty easy to ask this. They usually surprised him by casually knowing which one was home. It was odd.

BouledBolodPoissons: *Nah, but I'll go get her! I think she's getting a mouthful from Aunt Petri about not chasing people down with her Hard-light Holo-thingamajig. But don't worry, I can get her.*

M07HM4ND: *Oh, I'm sorry! That computer-program of hers really helped us! I wanted to thank her for it...I didn't think she'd get into trouble with Aunt Patri...*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Not Aunt Patri, Aunt Peeetri! She's sort-of new around here, and she's been put in charge of keeping Pooki under control by the other technopaths...heh heh heh, I think they do that to new psychics to force them to be...ah, what's the word?*

_(A/N: "The Land Before Time" reference, anyone?)_

M07HM4ND: *You mean, like a proving-ground?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Maybe. Not what I was thinking...what was it!?*

M07HM4ND: *An initiation?*  
All kinds of horrible frat-boy pranks he'd seen on TV and only even heard of were coming to mind.

BouledBolodPoissons: *Nah, nah, oh, I'll think of it! Anyways, gotta' run! I'll put you on my Milky-way so we can walk + talk at the same time!*

M07HM4ND: *Responsible?*  
That was the only thing left that Dib could think of.

After a moment or two, Chewie responded.  
BouledBolodPoissons: *YEAH! That's the one!*

M07HM4ND: *Ah... So, wait, is Pooki actually in trouble? Or is Aunt Petri just annoyed?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Dunno, dunno! Hah hah, that's the question of the century, right now!*

M07HM4ND: *Oh, wonderful... Big help you are!*  
Dib pouted as he waited for Chewie to get Pooki.

BouledBolodPoissons: *Okay, here she is!*

+++P00KieDd0dAH has signed in+++

P00KieDd0dAH: *Goodbye, Agent Mothman! Kee kee kee, you sure made a big impact on them!*

M07HM4ND: *I DON'T_WANT_TO_TALK_ABOUT_IT!*  
This was just like pouring lemon-juice onto a paper-cut instead of oil. Wait, when would one use oil... Dib shook his head as he saw Pooki was typing something in response.

P00KieDd0dAH: *Aaawww~! But you were SO COOL! And they way you ran away, you were like a BOSS! ...Of running away in the hallways... Hah hah hah...*

M07HM4ND: *You know, I was going to thank you for your present, but...just forget it! I'm not happy with the way things turned out!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *I'm sorry, but Pooki tapped into their computer-systems and was saying how the way you guys were running looked like a computer-game! You should thank her for that safe-room you found -that was HER doing!*

M07HM4ND: *Oh... SO WAIT, POOKI WAS HELPING?!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Well, not a lot.*

P00KieDd0dAH: *I couldn't do too much without alerting their systems. The best I could do was to stop their traps from going off in that one room you found. The other traps were hard to keep you safe from. Dang, that security frags!*

M07HM4ND: *I know, TELL me about it!*  
Then, after a moment's pause...  
M07HM4ND: *I'm sorry, wasn't thinking. I guess I owe you a big apology-thanks...*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Aww~ ^=v=^ Don't worry about it!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Yeah, anytime! You can treat us to a bowl of pie, later!*

M07HM4ND: *OR a bowl of...*

BouledBolodPoissons: *DON'T SAY IT, DON'T SAY IT, MOTHMAN!*

M07HM4ND: *Fish!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *AARGE! I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY IT!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *:Sighs: And now Bolo's gonna' have to hate you forever... Or at least the rest of the day!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *:Pouts: I don't get THAT upset about it, anymore!*

M07HM4ND: *:Laughs:*

P00KieDd0dAH: *But what about last night, when Uncle Bob said that you and your little "lady-friend" should take the long way home?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *That's not FAIR! That was my Papa, he's different!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *ROTFLU! Bowl, you're such a hypo!*  
"Hypo" was Pooki's short-hand way of saying, "hypocrite".

M07HM4ND: *Hee hee, I've missed this! Only talking to Tak and myself can get boring*

BouledBolodPoissons: *I am NOT A HYPO!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Bolo, stop gritting your teeth at me! I just thought it was ironic! Ironic-funny! Really!*

Chewie took a minute, but seemed to have calmed down, because of what he typed next.  
BouledBolodPoissons: *By the way, Dibbe-pillar... How is YOUR little lady-friend?*

M07HM4ND: *Oh, great! I KNEW I shouldn't have mentioned her, so of course you guys make fun of me! :Sigh: the Universe sure is ironic!*

M07HM4ND: *And don't call me Dibbe-pillar!*  
He added this, referring to the nick-name that his grandmother always used to call him.

BouledBolodPoissons: *NO, if the Universe was ironic, then you'd all have super-cool, shiny hair, and you'd be SUPER-HEROES!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *WITH the best set of SHINY SHOES anybody's ever HAD!*

Everyone got a good laugh at this old joke, prompted by Vannin's love of manga and comic-books. Even Dib had to forget his annoyance at his cousins and just laugh about it.  
M07HM4ND: *Oh, of COURSE! I keep forgetting that!*

Pooki, however, was on a roll:  
P00KieDd0dAH: *But of COURSE it's funny! That you, Mr. Anti-social guy, have a girlfriend!*

M07HM4ND: *I'm not gonna' have to keep explaining this, am I?! She's not even my own SPECIES! She's an ALEIN! AN ALIEN! So STOP this!*

P00KieDd0dAH: *:Great big evil laughter: Oh, you know we're just kidding with ya'! ~ ^v^ ~*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Well, you are at that age, Mr. Agent Mothman... :hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink:*

P00KieDd0dAH: *That age where kids usually get crushes on people who are their mentors or simply older than they are?*  
Pooki's rather strange and mystical way of stating a very logical psychological reason was interesting...and it wasn't making Dib any less upset about that fact.

M07HM4ND: *Sheesh, this isn't just a crush on the TEACHER! This is a person who's far older than I am -like, by a couple of HUNDRED! I'd probably get taken into THERAPY, or something! SHE'S not even AN EARTHLING! Not HUMAN! Do you UNDERSTAND ME!?*  
His constant annoyances of people claiming he had a crush on his "business partner" was, quite frankly, getting annoying! He was almost fed up!

M07HM4ND: *And besides, I'm pretty sure she's NOT INTERESTED in me! ALRIGHT!?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *:Pouts: Aaawww~! Why'd you have to go and ruin our fun~?!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *True love will surpass all space and time~! :whooshing sounds:*

M07HM4ND: *OTL... I don't have enough hands for how many times I'll need to face-palm properly! Maybe I'll go out and borrow one of my dad's old extra-hands devices to do it?!*

P00KieDd0dAH: */^=^\; We was just having fun~ We didn't mean to be mean~!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Yeah, you know we mean well! ...But, if you ever happen to fall in love, don't hesitate to give us all the details!*

Though Pooki and Chewie's teasing was obnoxious, Dib just couldn't help but laugh inwardly at their Targe`t ways... It was almost like the love of romance and life was just bred into them or something!

M07HM4ND: *Okay, IF that day ever happens, I guess I'll call you guys up and have Bolo sniff her or something~!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *HEY! ...At least don't call me Bolo! I don't like that name*

P00KieDd0dAH: *:Snickers: Now Chewie's getting upset about his nickname~!*

M07HM4ND: *:Smirk: Nevermind! I'm calling Chewie BOLO until he remembers to stop bothering me with all that "girlfriend" junk! And BTW, I've gotta' go now! Good-bye!*

+++M07HM4ND has signed out+++

P00KieDd0dAH: *Huh!... I wonder what happened to him?*

BouledBolodPoissons: *He probably had to pee...or he had a not-a-call from his not-a-girlfriend*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Oh, Bolo!...*

Dib had signed out, because there was a certain mysterious, phantom-like figure standing behind him. It had gripped his shoulder just as he was typing his last sentence, and said, "Agent Mothman... I want to talk to you."

Dib, of course, had practically jumped out of his skin, but he calmed himself enough to slowly turn around and look at who was addressing him. It was hard to see him with the windows behind, but as he stepped back into the light Dib realized: "Agent...Dark Booty?"

"Yes, I...wanted to apologize..." he said in a strangely morose tone. "I know that the other Agents aren't fully convinced of your loyalty, so..." he reached into his pocket and pulled out something small and circular, which looked like a rather large pocket-watch or compact. "I wanted to give you this: it'll allow you to reach me on a secured Swollen Eyeball Network code... I also will have to avoid the other Eyeballs. It seems they don't trust me quite as much as they used to -with your little friend," he looked up at Dib and realized his mistake, so he said, "Uh, I mean, _Tak_, around, they're bound to suspect _any_one. Even their own _mothers_!"

Dib just glared directly at him, looking for any sign or indication that he was lying. "I just wanna' know...just how did you get _in_ here, anyways?" He looked around, observing the un-opened windows and closed door. He certainly didn't hear or see anything; it was broad day-light outside!

"Oh, your little sister let me in. I used my old 'Reporter for Some News-journal' bit. She seems to be quite knowledgeable about your adventures. Says you talk too much about it." Dark Booty then gave him a knowing glare right in the eyes. "You know you ought to be more _careful_..."

"*Sigh* Tell me about it!" Said Dib with a sigh. He was about to mention that that had been Tak's fault, that _she_ had wanted to come to the meeting, and that she was the one who'd _insisted_ on it, but...he decided against it. Who_ knows_ what kind of plans Agent Dark Booty had for him? "It was...a really bad idea..." He admitted with a sad sigh. "I REALLY didn't mean for things to HAPPEN like this; it just seemed like the best idea at the time!" He was about to continue when Agent Dark Booty raised his hand to stop him.

"I understand; we've all made foolish mistakes. Ggrr...I only wish that Agent Dipped-Pants was here. They could tell when _anybody_ was lying; maybe even clear some of this up?" Dark Booty sighed, his eyes turned up to the ceiling. "But, I sent them on some mission in the Congo...! There's NO time for 'What ifs'!" His conversation had changed direction suddenly. "I...know it's-" there was a sudden rattle on Dib's doorknob, and Dark Booty looked shocked at it. "Of course -my few minutes are up!"

"'Few minutes'?" Asked Dib, before Agent Dark Booty shoved the small, circular thing into his hands and ran out. Looking down at it, it was indeed the same size and shape of a compact; only shiny gold in color, and inside it held a very tiny-looking lap-top. It was like a cell-phone, complete with vid-screen! Kind-of girly, yet at the same time, pretty neat. He had jumped up to watch Dark Booty go, but now he felt slightly...creeped out...!

On the Skippi-dee Doo Dah messenger, his cousins had continued to talk on, but he was still too creeped to log on once more and tell them what had happened. Still, he turned to look at what they were saying:

+++VanLaserie has signed in+++

VanLaserie: *Heya guys, what's up?*

P00KieDd0dAH: *Oh, nothing! Just talking about Dibbi!*

BouledBolodPoissons: *Yeah, he's sure in some hot water!*

VanLaserie: *What happened?! Is it that thing with the Men in Black and that blimp attack and stuff that everybody around here's talking about?!*

Dib slammed the lap-top down suddenly, realizing that he was really, really, _really_ worried. The current situation only served to confuse him even more. Just _what_ was his fellow Agent-and-possibly-mentor's reason for giving him this...this compact...thing?! And was he able to trust him? What about the other Swollen Eyeball Agents, they probably didn't trust Dark Booty much; they certainly didn't trust HIM! He felt his sweat rolling down the side of his cheek and reached up to wipe it off. The compact was still in his hand. Suddenly, that creepy feeling returned, and he yelped, throwing it across the room where it hit the wall by his bed with a "WHACK!"

He sat down at his computer chair again and held a hand to his head. That same, disturbing, disgustingly _creepy_ feeling was creeping up on him, making him want to bury his head under his covers and hide away...possibly not even in his _bed_. Maybe the closet? Curses, this feeling was _consuming_ him...! Hurriedly, he made contact with Tak in his head, 'Tak! HEY! Hey, Tak! ...You hear me, right?! PLEASE say you haven't taken off the necklace again~! HEY!'

'AlRIGHT! ALRIGHT!' Thought Tak as she stopped what she was doing at her consoles to listen to him. "Mimi, pause that," she said, before thinking, 'What's wrong? Don't tell me you're just making fun of me again, because-!' The thought was cut off by Dib's frantic exclamation.

'I'M NOT! It's SERIOUS!' He thought, holding a hand to his head to stop his rushing heartbeat from pounding so hard. His thoughts felt like dense fog, and yet, he could still think. Creepy and horrifying feelings continued to crawl up his spine and give him goose-bumps. He needed to _think_!

'Dib, what's wrong?' Tak was now very worried, 'Calm down and tell me,' she thought reassuringly, trying to get his attention. This was different somehow that she'd ever seen him: and he was never horrifiedly-serious, unless it he had a _problem_.

'I- I just-! I!' His thoughts were racing around so bad, it was like a blur. He suddenly found himself calmly thinking about how much his hands were shaking, and about how he was probably having a panic-attack. He couldn't keep his head still long enough for it to form coherent thoughts about his particular problem, yet he was still worried about his heart-rate. Tak's calm and smooth voice came into his mind, and he found that if he concentrated hard enough on it, he could relax.

'Don't worry, I can help you,' Tak was reassuring him over the mental comm-line, 'But you just need to calm down, now. I understand that you're not used to this kind of thing. We can work this out if you just relax, and...breathe deeply!' She added this last part as she'd run out of reassuring things to tell him. But it was working, thankfully -he'd called her just in time. 'Now, why don't you calmly tell me what you want me to help you with.'

'I'm! There's all these conspiracies piling up! I'm-!' Suddenly he found with a shock that it was hard to breathe, and he took a deep breath, two deep breaths, up to five even, before he finally found his pulse-rate subsiding. 'I'm sorry, I guess I was, uhm! You know, that, uh... Panic-attack.' He sighed and found his hand he'd put to his head was still shaking, and the other one was balled up into a fist. He unclenched it with great effort and smiled a bit. 'You know, I'm not used to this...'

Sighing, Tak was glad that his little nervous-breakdown bit was over, and she thought, 'Yeah, you're still just a little kid. Er! well, you know- compared to _me_, of course,' she didn't want him getting anymore upset than he had been. Even though it was true.

'I'm alright, _really_!' Thought Dib, although his feeling of relief was leaving him exhausted. 'Sheeesh! Will you just _look_ at me?! If my dad saw me like this, he'd DEFINITELY send me to the Shrink!"

Tak laughed shallowly at the shrink-joke and thought, 'You aren't having a major nervous-breakdown -just a bit of a panic. But, really! I want to know what started it.'

'Okay, I'll tell,' Dib was still sighing, but he fought past the fatigue and thought about what had happened.

'It's okay, you can tell me,' reminded Tak, remarkably gently. Actually, she was too shocked to be anything _but_ calm and stern. That was usually her fall-back response. There had been plenty of times during training when her calm and tactical response had saved her -so she used it accordingly. Fretting about what had happened came afterwards. The time passed until finally she got a response.

'It all started as I was checking my mail and my Skippi-dee Doo Dah messenger. I had a nice, but annoying conversation with Pooki and Chewie, oh! It seems like Pooki tapped into the Swollen Eyeball's security when we were trying to hide, and gave us a safe room to be in. Remember that?' Dib's response was finally like his old self again -well, somewhat. There was still that underlying level of panic.

'Ah! _That_ was it,' replied Tak appreciatively. 'I'm sure you thanked her for it.' This conversation was now calming, and Dib continued on, happily spilling the beans, undaunted. Because they're tasty!

'I did! Then they made fun of us...er -ME, that is,' Dib found himself able to groan once more over the irritation that it was. The facts weren't too clearly transferred over the psychic-link, but Tak could tell at once what he meant. 'Then I found Agent Dark Booty standing BEHIND me!'

'Really?!' Asked Tak, with more surprise than she'd been trying to have. This was getting too interesting for psychology -but she calmed herself down and remembered that he'd be upset again if she sounded too excited. And worried.

'I KNOW!' Thankfully, Dib had snapped out of his panic, and although he still felt a little fatigued and guilty for an unknown reason, he stood up and almost shouted, 'I mean, he pretended to be a REPORTER for some JOURNAL and my SISTER let him INTO THE HOUSE!'

'Well, THAT'S weird,' agreed Tak with a creeped-out look on her face. 'Then what happened?'

'THEN, he decides to give me this little thing that looks like a compact -you know, the kind for make-up?- and says that it'll help me communicate with him on a _secured channel_! He ...actually, he seemed kind-of guilty...or something? I don't know. I feel -well, I _have_ to think that he was trying to help me...but, what do_ I_ know?! I ALSO thought that I had the _Swollen Eyeball's_ trust, and look where THAT got me!' He just sighed again. 'Yeah, I know...no feeling sorry for myself...!'

'Heh heh heh, good call,' thought Tak, then she thought, 'From what you've told me, it looks like he was trying to help you -I also sensed that when we were running from the Swollen Eyeballs last night- you remember me mentioning it?'

'Uhm! ...Huh...' Dib had to think a bit, 'Oh, yeah! I think you said something about him still being on my side or something?'

'Yeah. That's right...' she contemplated things again, then added, 'I don't think that he's trying to _lie_, but I do think it's best if we be...well, a little bit cautious. I'll look over that compact-thing when I get there tonight. I'll be over at about three or four... That alright?'

'Yeah! Yeah, that sounds...great. Thanks,' Thought Dib, realizing that he'd calmed down a lot, 'I feel better now. Sorry for freaking out!'

'No problem;' Tak was almost about to add something about his being inexperienced, but there were other things that required her attention, and she didn't want to bother with the inevitable "I'm not a child!" thing. 'I'll see you later, then.'

'Yeah...bye!' Thought Dib, somewhat sadly. He realized that he actually _enjoyed_ talking to her this time... He sighed. That was such a freaky feeling -it was no wonder! He wondered how he'd have coped with it if he hadn't had Tak to rely on... He was glad he'd cooperated such an able partner.

If not, then he'd probably have had to have his little sister come in and kick him in the head or something! He laughed at this, out loud and full of mirth; until his said sister claimed she'd kick him in his giant, laughing head if he didn't quit it. She was so predictable, he couldn't find himself hating her for it...and he was almost doubled-over in pained giggles, so it wasn't easy to be annoyed with her.

"Gggrrr! I'll come IN and punch you BOTH in your GIANT, PSYCHICALLY-CONNECTED HEADS if you DON'T SHUT UP!"

Dib decided that now was a good time to go downstairs...since she was in her room and currently annoyed with his good humor.

0

* * *

0

Watching T.V. and having a lazy afternoon was oddly relaxing, and yet surreal. Relaxing into the soft cushions, Dib hardly felt his eyes close before drifting off. The show wasn't that fun or interesting. Just some stupid reality show they always liked to show, but he didn't know _why_ anyone would watch. Probably people with too much time on their hands. 'The matter is a simple case of space between the ears,' the lines of an unknown poem echoed in his head...

...  
Floating in space...

He looked around. Someone was supposed to be here. Someone was supposed to be with him... But everything was darkness. The wind swept by, but it was cold, and chilled with the dark vastness of space which seemed to echo emptily inside his heart. It was annoying.

He suddenly saw a track of some kind. He flew down towards it, willing himself without thinking.

"Next stop, Willoughby!" Came the cry of the Conductor's voice. Dib looked around, noticing that he was on a train. Out the window he could see outer-space. He was flying through space on a train. Okay, like that wasn't plagiaristic... _(A/N: "Galaxy Express 999" joke, everyone!)_ And he was actually enjoying the ride.

But looking around, he realized that one person who was supposed to be here, was not. He looked out the window, and instantly wished he was in outer-space once more.

He flew through the depths of space. There weren't any others around here... And he was searching for that someone...but they weren't there. The flash of light that flew by him shone in brilliant colors, but at last faded as it disappeared. A meteorite...! No, just a nameless satellite... As more and more passed by, he finally realized that he was also a little light. But there was no one there...not even more flashes of light would answer him as they flew by, faster than ever...he missed his little flash of light.

He looked all around, but couldn't find it. Not even if he went as far out as he could go. Off in the distance, there was one light.

It shone so beautifully, bright white and yellow colors that opened up like a blossom of a chrysanthemum as it shone brilliantly...

He dashed to find it, but, he couldn't quite catch up.

"Come on, I'm HERE! HEY! I'M RIGHT HERE!" He exclaimed, but the feeling of shouting wasn't coming into his ears, and he felt it growing further and further away. On a whim, he just reached out and grasped its tail.

This turned out to be an arm, but it slipped out of his hand. "HEY! Wait, wait! COME BAAACCKK!" The scream continued on and on...

...

Dib's eyes flew open, and he found himself in an awkward position, half-laying, half-sitting on the couch. He pulled himself up and found he was sore from sleeping like a cat and not a human. He righted that by standing and stretching until he felt marginally better. His stomach was growling...!

He walked into the kitchen, yawning, and thought about getting a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich and chocolate milk. That sounded good right about now. Weird dreams about space-trains and funny stars shaped like mums would have to wait; _food_ was more important! The walk through the kitchen was suddenly cut short, when he saw who was sitting at the kitchen table. Huh. And he'd thought his day was going somewhat better...

"UWA-HH!" He yelled in surprise as he saw them. "What are YOU guys doing here!?" Then, he answered his own question, "No, no, wait! Don't tell me: you're all here because of last night -right? Well, there's _nothing_ to be worried about; as you can see, I'm_ perfectly_ alright! And if you want my sister, she's upstairs in her room, probably playing some games online." He continued to the refrigerator to get some milk and grabbed the chocolate powder.

"That_ is_ what we're here for; and we DON'T want your sister," replied one of his aunts. He turned around to see that it was Aunt Patrina -she looked tired, and her voice sounded odd- it was deeper and more hoarse. She probably was up all night, worrying about them. Huh... That was...kind-of nice, actually...

"What?" Asked Dib, now on the alert: "What happened?!"

"Okay,_ first_ of all," stated Aunt Patrina sharply, "Are you alright? What about your -eh,_ partner_, was it?"

Dib just rolled his eyes and continued pulling out bread to use for his sandwich. Hm, better make it sandwiches! "Don't worry, we're BOTH alright, like I've said!"

"Didn't I tell you not to go there?!" Asked Uncle Werewolf Bob, who was looking scratched and burned, yet none-the-worse for wear. It seemed like he was rather tough. 'Course, he _was_ a werewolf!

"Yeah," sighed Dib, thinking and pouting about how useless it would be to explain it all to them. "And? So _what_?! It's just as you said -some stuff happened, and now it's over with- so will you _please_ let me get back to my SANDWICH?!" Tak had overheard this commotion, and was listening intently, wondering why he didn't just tell them that it was her fault. After all, it was.

"Hey!" Shouted another person that Dib was not too familiar with; but it seemed to him that he might have been a werewolf as well. "WE were there picking a FIGHT with those guys, JUST SO THAT YOU'D SURVIVE!"

"Shut-up, Spicky!" Barked Uncle Werewolf Bob. "He didn't even know how we'd follow him!"

"In any event," started Aunt Patrina once again, "I wanted to _explain_ to you about the consequences of your actions," then, after a second, she added, "Is that alright?"

"Yeah, sure," Dib pouted, "_Lay_ it on me!"

"The Men in Black took some of us out; quite a few, actually. But we were focused on keeping them at bay until you escaped," she said this first part about their family, since she considered it the most important part. "Next, some of your fellow Swollen Eyeball Agents were_ also_ taken out by them: of course, they aren't _all_ dead. Well, some of them might possibly be...and if any of them haunts you, well...we might have to 'persuade' them not to do it...eventually, they'll understand." She looked away with a bit of an unsure look.

"Wait, _wait_! Did you say that the Men in Black captured OR killed some of the Swollen Eyeball Agents, as well as our paranormal family-members!?" Exclaimed Dib in sudden interest. This was all the more reason to get started on that experiment with entering peoples' minds!

"PLEASE WAIT," stated Speritica boldly but calmly. She was a phantom, so it was no surprise that Dib didn't see her come in. "UNTIL we explain!" She seemed to be waiting for him to answer, and so he nodded for her to continue.

"Our family-members are what's most important to -well, to_ all_ of us!- and it should be of no surprise that, since you and your 'partner'_ started_ this mess, that you have to reap THE CONSEQUENCES!" She rose up terrifying, her hair floating around her head. The wind howled, and Dib could only think of one thing.

'Meh, I've seen better,' he thought of the little freaky flying and fiery-effects that his sister would do. "I'll reap the consequences, just FINE!" He said, almost calmly and evenly. "And we'll get EVERYONE back! ...Well, except if they're _dead_, you know..."

"YOU don't expect to take on the entire MEN IN BLACK, do you!?" Exclaimed Uncle Werewolf Bob, getting a sense of what he was feeling. He was very good with reading people.

"Well, WHAT CHOICE HAVE I GOT?!" Exclaimed Dib suddenly. "I mean, it's not like I can just- just-" his mind flashed back to his last two dreams, "-Wish upon a STAR, or something like _that_! I mean, THIS is REAL LIFE! And as far as MY experience serves, NOTHING'S EVER handed to you on a SILVER PLATTER, unless it's got a KNIFE or a FORK stabbed into it! Hey, wait, that doesn't even make- OH, well! You know what I MEAN!" He exclaimed, turning around to go back to his room with his cup of almost-chocolatey milk.

"Well, AT LEAST tell us what you've got PLANNED! Pretty-please? With sugar and a cherry on top of it...?!" Asked Phoorosz, who had also somehow been in the kitchen without Dib's notice. Of course, he was pretty ticked-off at them, so he wasn't really looking.

"NO!" Exclaimed Dib suddenly again, spinning around and dripping little drops of milk on the floor, "NO more HELPING! I got us INTO this mess; now I'LL get us OUT OF IT!" Then he pointed with his finger and said, "JUST you wait and SEE!" He then turned and pounded the floor as he stomped out of the kitchen.

"We just need some more information! Really!" Exclaimed Aunt Patri, "DI-IB!" But he heard Speritica shush her. "But he's our Little Dib-kiddy!" Aunt Patrina moaned plaintively.

Dib stopped once he'd gotten up the stairs, almost ready to go into his room. Then he turned around and told them, "Oh, and by the way, my partner's coming over at around three or four! Please _don't_ upset her!" Then, after going into his room, he came back out again to tell them one last thing.

"And DON'T CALL ME 'LITTLE'!"

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TO BE CONTINUED...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Once again, check out the next part I'll have uploaded just as soon as I can give it a good proof-reading on this Document Manager thingy~!

ONWARD! TO THE GREAT UNKNOOOO~OOOWWWN! -


	9. Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard? Of course!

DISCLAIMER: Yet again, yet again...! No more disclaimers, nooooo~! Once is enough for the chapter! Sos just remember the previous-previous-previous-previous-previous one, and you'll be alright!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: There's only ONE last part after this! WHOO-HOOOS! And anyways, I'm gettin' rather tired of this~! *Moans about FF dot net* In any case...!

...IT IS CONTINUED...ONCE MORE~!:

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It was a couple hours later when Tak poked him in the head again, 'Hey, Dib-head, I'm coming over. You ready to start the experiment?'

Dib blinked and looked up, almost surprised by this. He'd decided to get a little steam out by checking his favorite web-sites. With Pooki's program, being monitored by the Men in Black was less likely; although not entirely unlikely. 'Yeah, I'm ready. I wonder what time it is...?' He looked at the clock on the computer, although he'd just checked it a short while ago to see what time it was. 'Guah! It's 3:30! Time DOES fly, doesn't it?!'

'Yeah, well, I'm just walking up to your front door now.' Replied Tak, knocking on the front door.

'Oh, just open it! It's not like anybody _cares_!' Then Dib realized, 'OH! The security-system! D'OH! I'll get that...' He jumped down the stairs and flew to open the door, hoping Tak hadn't done so already. He thought about what would happen, considering his sister's dolls were patrolling the house thanks to the Men in Black's interference.

'Okay, having a security-system that sets fire to people_ is_ inconvenient,' thought Tak as he opened the door for her.

'Yeah, I know! Tell me about it!' Thought Dib with a grin as he let her in.

'So, where are those "nattering nannies" that were here a little bit ago?' She asked, looking into the door to the kitchen.

'Huh?! You mean they aren't here anymore?!' Thought Dib in wonder, as he shut the door and glanced about. 'I guess they left after I, uh...yelled at them...! Eh-heh!' His awkward smirk told all the tales that needed telling about that tale.

Tak just smirked, 'Great job on taking the fall, by the way,' then did something he completely didn't expect: she kicked him right in the head!

'Ow...! That was...unexpected...!' Thought Dib as he fell back, completely taken off-guard. He never expected a kick to his noggin after receiving a_ compliment_...!

'Get used to it,' thought Tak with a barely-contained giggle, 'Come on, it's time for the experiment!'

'Great!' Thought Dib sarcastically, 'Is this what ALL girls are like, even _aliens_?!'

'You're _moaning_ again~!' Thought Tak, although he really wasn't: he was stating his sarcastic observations. Entirely different. She was already at the stairs, though, so Dib ran up to her as he responded.

'I am NOT~!' She just snickered at this and continued on up the stairs.

After they reached his room and put the brain-wave-monitoring machine in order, Tak attached the flat circlets around each of their heads. The familiar pain of the neural-screws drilled into his temples, and Dib briefly wondered if it would cause any potential damage -then he remembered his _ring_- and decided it against wondering about it.

'Okay, so!' Thought Tak, still giving the run-down on the procedure. Just setting up for it took about five minutes; but Dib didn't mind, just as long as his own mind was safe. 'The procedure Madame Vicious explained will require the both of us to go into a small, trance-like state. Oh,' she jumped up and grabbed a pillow off his bed and threw it to him, 'Here -you may need it in case you fall. In fact, just lie down -it's easier.'

Dib put the pillow behind him and did as he was told, finding the large, metal circlet only slightly uncomfortable with the pillow underneath his head. 'Okay...now what?'

Tak leaned against his bed and relaxed as well, 'Then...I'll have to set up a small, psychic barrier. Using Pooki's program in both my Pak and the machine should make it easier; then I'll finally be able to delve into your mind. It'll take a few minutes, just so you know.' She peeked open one eye at him, but he said nothing as he lay there on the comfortable pillow.

'Yeah, okay,' he thought, and it was at this moment that Tak realized they'd gotten so in the habit of talking mentally, that they _entirely_ forgot to talk _physically_! Huh... Well, she didn't need to contemplate this, as she was in the middle of an experiment, but...it _was_ pretty fascinating!

After a few moments of silence, Tak thought, 'This is taking a while.'

'Huh?' Thought Dib, pulled out of his personal musings.

'Nevermind!' Back to concentrating, a few minutes passed in almost annoying silence: annoying, since Dib's thoughts never kept still, and kept annoying her despite the quiet stillness of the room around them.

After another short while, Tak found herself ready to venture into Dib's mind. 'Hey, Dib! I'm coming in,' she thought, and almost lost concentration when she found herself being pulled into it.

'Cool! Alright! Let's get going!' Came the over-excited Dib's mental voice. He stopped pulling her as they were already inside his mind, and then asked, 'So...what's next?!'

His over-exuberance was annoying, but at least he was willing to let her in. So she thought, 'We're going deeper, into the deeper sub-consciousness of your mind. There, you probably won't be really conscious -there's actually about three or five different levels of conscious thought- so I'll be finding my way on my own.'

'Aaawww~!' Thought Dib with a moan, 'I wanted to go _with_ you! It's _my_ mind!'

Sighing, Tak thought, 'Yes, of _course_ it's your mind! But I'm just saying, it'll be more like a dream-state to you -your subconscious isn't _actively_ conscious!' Oblivious to the psychological aspects of this, Dib still insisted.

'But I _wanna'~_!' He moaned "tenaciously".

Tak didn't have the energy to bother with him; instead, she continued further and further into the depths of his mind. Of course, this was a mistake; instead of telling him off, Tak allowed him to try and follow her... Suddenly, she found herself slipping, and the next thing she knew, she'd fallen into a strange mental plain. Standing up and looking around, she thought about what this could be, 'It looks like some sort of dream-like state...hhmmm...' As she looked around, she stopped in shock to see...

'DIB!' She thought loudly, 'What?! How'd you FOLLOW me?!'

'Like I TOLD YOU before,' thought Dib, 'I'm_ incredibly tenacious_!' He grinned at her shocked "look".

'Well, I guess stubborn-er, TENACITY, has to count for _something_!' She thought as she turned to look around. Things were taking shape, and as they did, they became...a rather similar-looking city.

'Well, this looks somewhat familiar...' Was all Dib could think.

'Your inner mental-image of your own mind is -THIS?!' Asked Tak, as she pointed to the city. It wasn't very impressive; no, rather, just mildly-inventive, and she said, 'It's not very _imaginative_...!'

'Oh, don't worry,' thought Dib, 'It gets better. Only the uninteresting stuff is on the outside.' As if to prove this, two shadowy-looking people passed by right behind them. When they turned to see what they were, they were gone.

'OH,' Tak realized, '_I_ get it now! It's your personal view of the world around you!'

'Yep!' Grinned Dib, 'I guess it is!' He just smiled as she stared at him curiously.

'Ooh-kaaay...' she thought, not even bothering with this one. Psychological differences were as complex as...well, psychology! 'Well, where do we go from here?' Just as she said this, a strange "whooshing" sound was heard in the air. They both looked up to see the psychological version of an incentive flying right above them.

'ATTACKING GLUTENOUS VAMPIROUS EAGLE-PEOPLE FROM FALCONOUS FIVE!' Shouted Dib, and instantly he grabbed her and started running. 'They're able to SHOOT US DOWN with just their ACIDUOUS SPIT!'

'_Okay_...I'm just going with the flow on this one...' thought Tak as they continued running. Eventually the city transformed into a jungle, though still somewhat formed of metal and the concrete buildings of the city. The "deadly falconous people" still flew overhead, but they shrieked above them, confused as to where their small little prey had gone. The jungle was humongous and vast; it seemed to go on for miles in any direction, even _up_!

'Okay, I think we've lost them!' Thought Dib, although Tak noticed that he didn't stop running. 'We'd better get to someplace safe!' He thought, as if he'd heard her. Well, their minds _were_ in the same space, so it wasn't _that_ unusual...

There was a strange, glowing reddish-orange light up ahead. 'Dib, where EXACTLY are you taking me?!' Thought Tak as it glowed brighter and brighter, and eventually the bright lights of some kind of facility could be seen. They ran into it and shut the gate to it, keeping their heads down as Dib punched in the code for both of them.

'THIS is my dad's Secret Training and Teaching Facility!' He said almost proudly. It seemed as if he knew it from some of his dreams. 'Anyways, I hide in_ here_ anytime something freaky in my dreams happens, so I guess it's sort-of my safe-place?' He scratched his head, although it was just a mental image of his own self. 'In any case, we should be safe in here!'

'Ohkay...then lead the way!' Thought Tak, then she added, 'Mr. Tenacious!'

Dib smirked and thought, 'Okay!'

They finally stepped up to the front door, and Dib had to put in an intensely-complicated combination to unlock the lock. Once it was unlocked, however, the door slid open with a "shwooh!" and smoke, and they stepped into a sterile-looking environment, not unlike his father's home laboratory.

"Hello, children!" Called Professor Membrane as they walked by a door to some kind of student-teaching room with lab-things littered all around. Dib informed her that that was the "Science Classroom", where his dad always would give him pointless advice when he had problems in his dreams. "Ah, I see you've brought a _friend_ with you this evening! Showing her the wonders of REAL SCIENCE?!" He raised his hand dramatically, as if to illustrate this.

'Not really,' replied Dib to his Dream-Dad. 'We were just escaping from those flying bird-people things. I thought we'd be safe, here.'

"Ah, yes~!" Replied his Dream-Dad, "The Flying Mutant-Falconous-Beings HAVE been rather plentiful lately. Hhhm...I'd better work on something take _care_ of that, or else they'll OVER-POPULATE THE ENTIRE PLANET! MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAHHH!"

'Don't mind it, he's always like that,' thought Dib to Tak, then he replied to his Dream-Dad, 'Okay, thanks! We'll be over here, doing stuff that's, uhm...stuff about REAL SCIENCE!' He gave a grin and then turned to walk off.

"DON'T FORGET TO PULL THE SPIDER'S WIG OF SILK OO~OFF~F!" Sang his Dream-Dad after him.

'"The Spider's wig of silk"?!' Thought Tak at this absurdity. Then they proceeded to walk by an actual giant spider with a wig of silk. 'Huh! _That's_ something you don't ever see.'

Dib proceeded to do as his Dream-Father had instructed him, and pulled its wig of shiny, silverish silk off and set in on a lab-table, which then "swoooshed" off to go deliver it to wherever it was to be delivered to. 'Yeah, that's what he's always singin'...ever since that "giant arachnid" thing, actually...' Dib thought about this.

'Ooohhhkaaay...!' Replied Tak, 'Let's just say, that, if I ever WAS a giant arachnid, I wouldn't be wearing a wig of silk. Or _any_ wig! At_ all_!' Dib laughed at this, and Tak joined in. 'So, what is there to see here?' She asked, after they were done laughing.

'Well...' Dib thought a minute, 'There's the Science Classroom that we just passed; then there's the Informative Observatory, then the Study, then the Brain-Food-Making Kitchen, then the-' his mind showed all the different places, but one.

'What's down that dark hallway?' Asked Tak, pointing to the dimly-lit, shadowy hallway almost directly in front of them. It looked foreboding and ominous. Tak liked the look of that. That meant that it'd be interesting.

'Oh, that?' Thought Dib, looking at it, but his eyes didn't quite seem to behold it, 'It's just some dark, dimly-lit hallway.'

Tak turned and stared at him. 'Seriously?' She asked, referring to his seeming lack of curiosity. 'You don't even want to know what's in it?!'

'What could POSSIBLY be IN it?!' Exclaimed Dib, 'It's probably just, uh...' in realizing that he didn't know _what_ it was, he thought, 'Janitor-closet! Yeah, _that's_ probably what it is!'

Tak was already heading towards it. 'If you don't even _want_ to know what's down this hallway,' she thought back at him, 'Then _I_ do!' Dib ran after her, trying to persuade her otherwise.

'Tak, there's really, probably NOTHING there!' He thought as he ran after her, then caught her imagined arm and thought again, 'REALLY!'

'DIB!' Shouted Tak, turning around suddenly, '_Why don't_ you want to go down this hallway?!' Their progress down the hallway hadn't gone any further since she'd entered it, so she decided to convince him instead of fighting his tenacity with her own will.

'Uh...mmmuuhhh... There's...probably...nothing interesting down it?' Thought Dib in a slightly brain-dead fashion.

'Mmm-hmm...!' Replied Tak. 'Dib, don't you think that your _disinterest_ in a really STRANGE and MYSTERIOUS dark hallway is really, REALLY weird?' Her reply had no lack of merit to it.

And yet, Dib didn't know why that his mind insisted that it wasn't of interest. He decided to ignore that for now, and answered, 'Well, yes! Yeah, I guess it _is_! ...Huh!' He put a hand to his chin in evidence of his intense thought. 'I guess...it seems like it's just...instinct? _That's_ weird! It's not even my-' he was about to say "fear-section", but they'd reached the door already.

"INSTINCTUAL LESSONS" was written up on the door, and Tak had just enough time to think, 'This may be a mistake,' before opening it.

Things faded into a foggy background, but soon they were standing in a classroom. Well, Dib was sitting. He looked strangely void of cognizance, and he was staring, slack-jawed, from a seat in the front row. There were about six people, all men, standing up at the blackboard, which featured, instead of a teacher's desk, a lab-table, with all sorts of laboratory accoutrements; it was quite weird.

Not to mention the fact that the things on the blackboard included genetic diagrams and charts of...what _was_ that? The diverse array of them was too difficult to pick out, since words weren't visually clear here. This world was represented with the human's dream-state, so that was obvious. The _weird_ thing was what happened _after_ she stood there at the front of the room, observing it.

"Welcome, welcome!" Exclaimed one of the men at the front: the balding man who didn't have a comb-over, but who decided to just let it be bare. "This is the Instinctual Lessons Classroom! You're our _very_ special guest; well, you're Dib's very special guest, anyways," a desk that looked grand and slightly plant-like rose up from the center of the classroom desks, and he motioned to her to sit there, "If you'll just take a seat, we can explain everything!" The others seemed to wonder out loud if she would accept any of this, but Tak didn't bother wondering about this.

Instead, she took a seat where she was instructed to, and the lesson began. 'Heh, what the heck? I might as well find out what Dib's family's been so keen in hiding from him!'...

The instruction began with a simple explanation:

"To start the lesson, Dib -and friend- Dib here is a caterpillar. To put it more bluntly, a moth-human hybrid. As a juvenile, the moth-human hybrid resembles, not a caterpillar, but a human, in _every single way_ -right down to the cells and DNA!

"This is for camouflage purposes; to keep the young one safe until it is time to make a cocoon. The cocoon is normally made during the adolescent stage, which can differ, depending on the species of moth-human.

"After emerging from the cocoon, they will perfectly resemble a moth-human, capable of flight and other such things.

"The next thing we're teaching is where and when the moth-human hybrids originated. This'll take us back about 77 years, to the time when researchers at the Wiggee Waggee State University, were testing some highly experimental hybridizing techniques. Since back then, there were laws against human-testing which made it difficult to get test-subjects, the scientists in question used themselves.

"Naturally, this isn't the most _intelligent_ of ideas; but without proper funding and test-subjects, their ability to study the human genome and map DNA, as well as the possibility of genetically-engineered hybrids, was limited. Even though they were supposed to be finding a solution to the aggressive tendencies of Africanized Honey-bees and Dingo-dog hybrids, they decided to start with a _different_ species. The reason was really mundane: they were the _only_ insects they had _there_!

"*Laughs* As you might have guessed, myself and the other five standing up here are the actual scientists who worked on this experiment: Tmopp, Zsarcs, Phop, Zhoddz, and Floo-op. Guess which one I am? Yeah, I'm Floo-op. Great name, I know. Blame my parents!

"The moths were taken from the Entomology room, which was cooperating with the research. They were just moths, so we figured, 'Nobody'll miss 'em!' There were 17 different species of moth chosen; most of them rather ordinary-looking. There were a few notable exceptions: the White Witch Moth (Thysania agrippina), the Io Moth (Automeris io), the Pussy Moth ( Megalopyge opercularis), the Big Eyes Moth (Alypia oculusmagnus), the Primrose Moth (Schinia florida), and the Western Sheepmoth (Hemileuca eglanterina).

"The following is a thorough description of the exact procedures taken to create the hybridization:"

The "instructor" at the front then proceeded to give a full, detailed explanation that would make most scientists dizzy. One could imagine even Professor Membrane hurriedly taking notes. But, since this was all being "opened" like a Zip-file in Dib's brain, it was most likely that he could not only remember it afterwards, but also understand the majority of it. After that part of the lesson, things changed...

"The following is the cumulative memories that you've gained of the six scientists who worked on this experiment. The memories and knowledge of the scientists were so emotionally strong, that they became a part of your 'instincts'. Moths, like all other species, have instincts, you know.

"You'd usually remember all of this when you form a cocoon. The fact that you're here_ now_, suggests that something_ else_ has occurred to unlock this Instinctive knowledge." The instructor then eyed the both of them in an awkward moment of "I know what you did".

The "movies" which played now engulfed them, each showing from the six different perspectives what when on that night.

The basic premise was that, due to the combustive quality of some chemicals they were using to define the genetic properties of their samples, an explosion occurred. The scientists were merged with the moth DNA, but at first the moth DNA was far more powerful than their human DNA. They succumbed to the simplest of instincts, to mate -thereby creating even more moth-hybrids.

The explosion, however, and the unstable quality of the moth/human DNA combination, created some interesting...changes. Unlike normal moths, these could turn other humans into moth-people, simply by secreting an enzyme and administering it through a kiss. The human females, of course, didn't take to this too happily. But the enzyme also worked to slow down their movements and thinking, long enough for the moth-men to wrap them in a silk cocoon. (The silk is also secreted through the mouth.)

"It took a few generations for the DNA to adapt and stabilize," Summed up the instructor, Floo-op, "After that, the moth-human hybrids were able to develop more typically as a species. They could reproduce with either humans or other moth-humans, and were better able to control their instinctive urges.

"Another difference between moths and moth-humans, is that the caterpillar form looks exactly like a human juvenile, for camouflage. They are also usually able to move quickly, just like a human juvenile, unlike caterpillars. This is also for safety and camouflage. Caterpillars have a lot of that. Their instincts and senses are quicker, sharper, to enable them to avoid any kind of danger.

"Adult moth-humans also have quick instincts and sharp senses, but not quite as quick as in their juvenile forms. They've become the proverbial 'watchman' type. Able to point out danger that no one else notices at first, they're also romanticized into 'prophets' and such. The fact is, their senses are just _better_. That will explain some of the annoyance you no doubt have with people _not seeing_ or _noticing_ what you're _warning_ _them of_, eh?" He'd turned to look at Dib, but said Dib just stared. Drooling.

The instructor then continued, "I think that about covers the general areas. Next, we'll be talking about your own species; remember, I said there were about 17 different species we used?" Dib for some reason actually nodded his head numbly. "Well, _yours_ is the Big Eyes Moth (Alypia oculusmagnus). It is one of those notable species, not just for its bright colors, but for its unusual method of finding a mate."

Tak just blinked at this, afraid of where it was going. The instructor went there, anyways.

"The Alypia oculusmagnus itself is an uncommon species of the South American continent; it feeds on nectar, and occasionally fruit." A large picture of the moth appeared on the blackboard in front of them. Its two top wings were black, whilest its two underwings were bright blue, with one gray spot near the bottom of each, with three black spots adorning each gray spot. It looked like an "OoO" face someone would make online or something. The body of the moth was mainly black, and the fluffy scales all over it had some iridescence, but not much.

"Because of its unique mating-method, it is capable of keeping its population up, despite predation by birds, bats, cats, snakes, other insects, rodents, and others." The picture switched to a very different picture, that of two caterpillars. "As a caterpillar, it looks very unintimidating. With the exception of the spikes at the top of its head, it is practically defenseless, and like all caterpillars, moves rather slowly." The caterpillars were mainly black, with some gray-ish blue-ish colors at the bottom, and dark spikes at its head.

"When threatened, it will usually attempt to blend in with its surroundings. However, if danger looms too close..." the image showed the caterpillar releasing its spikes onto the face of a very irritated frog. "The caterpillar will unleash its secret-weapon: the _poisoned spikes_ atop its head." The frog on the screen jumped back in pain, but soon its movements slowed to a halt until it lay there, twitching. "The poison is enough to kill a creature _six times_ its size! So, _don't_ use it _wantonly_!"

The instructor seemed to wag his finger in a warning-type of way at Dib, and Dib nodded once in that numb sort of way he'd adopted since being zombified in his subconscious' instruction room. "The caterpillars, both male and female, will protect each other with this defensive mechanism."

Then the scene changed to showing only one caterpillar. "The caterpillar finds its mate by a combination of scent, sight, and location of where its egg hatched. Its eyesight is very poor, but its sense of smell is somewhat better, and they tend to lay their eggs in similar surroundings to others of their species." The caterpillar was shown crawling slowly up to another one. "Once a male and female caterpillar find each other, they will become foraging and traveling companions, until it is time to make a cocoon.

"After the male and female have eaten sufficient amounts of food -which consists of leaves mainly, with the occasional aphid here and there- they will both spin a cocoon of silk around themselves, and undergo their adolescent metamorphosis together." The blackboard now showed that very scene, the two caterpillars dangling themselves precariously from a twig.

"Things get even_ more_ interesting when you consider what happens next: after emerging from the cocoon and drying off, both will fly off together to find a suitable place to mate and lay their eggs. Unlike most_ other_ species, the male will actually _stay_ with the female until the eggs are laid." The instructor then pointed to a diagram which showed a moth-human hybrid.

"The difference between the Alypia oculusmagnus moth and the Alypia oculusmagnus moth-human hybrid, is that, due to the unusual combustive hybridization process, the aging process is different.

"If a caterpillar finds a suitable companion while he or she is still a caterpillar, the maturation process will accelerate; meaning that they can secrete the enzyme needed to transform their desired mate and wrap them in a cocoon together. The added bonus of this is, that the memories of _both_ are usually shared. The draw-back, is that it's _unusual_ for human children to find a mate that quickly.

"What about the need to eat mass amounts of food? No worries! Because humans generally eat greater amounts of food as adolescents. So, although they will emerge rather small from the cocoon, they will eventually reach their full size at around twenty years of age. But, their life-spans are rather short. The longest-lived ones only live until their late _thirties_!

"To summarize, at around ten years of age, the caterpillar is potentially capable of finding a mate (such as a childhood friend, or something) and forming a cocoon together with them. (These cocoons are usually called 'Love-cocoons', by the way.)" The instructor seemed strangely childish whispering this last part, but Dib didn't seem to notice. "The full metamorphosis inside the cocoon will take at least a couple of years.

"IF a caterpillar DOESN'T find a mate, though, there is nothing to worry about. They will still go through their normal adolescent stage, just at the typical rate for moth-human hybrids. The typical stage is this: they'll eat and eat and eat until they get huge and fat, then make a cocoon. You can't _believe_ how many moth-human hybrids wished they were Alypia oculusmagnus!" The instructor laughed at this, as if it was a well-known joke. "In _any_ case...

"I suppose this leads us all back here -to the beginning and to our end! You, Dib, probably don't think you feel much 'romantic' affection for your _friend_ here," the instructor pointed at Dib, then at Tak, "But that's to be expected. The Alypia oculusmagnus moth-human hybrid will form a companionship with someone of the opposite sex; basically, a good friend, or a partner, someone you_ know_ that you can depend on, through thick and thin.

"You'll start to feel more affection for your companion once your body's aging process accelerates. Symptoms of this are as follows: getting along better with your companion, attempting to protect them -chivalry, if you will- and emotional and mental maturation. I'd estimate that you'd be about...fifteen years old in human years at that point.

"Later symptoms include: almost panic-attack-like symptoms at the sign of danger, heightened instincts, and an extreme desire to hide in a dark, safe place where you can make a cocoon. I'd estimate that at about...16 or 17 years old in human years.

"Final symptoms include: typical 'twitter-pated' in-lovey-symptoms, and _strong_ instinctive urges to _kiss_ your companion. Please try to refrain from acting on this last one at odd moments...it causes problems!" The instructor winced, as if he'd personally experienced it. "There's also the odd 'blank-out' moments, where your instincts almost entirely take over. If you avoid being alone with your companion and in close quarters with them, that shouldn't be a problem. I'd estimate this last one at about...20 years of age. Approximate.

"If you found you have actually_ kissed_ your companion and administered the enzyme, don't worry: you still have about five to fifteen minutes, tops, to get to a safe place to make your cocoon. But your companion might not be able to move very much, so be careful...and it's better to have a wall between you two, than to kiss someone and suddenly find yourself in a _ton_ of hot water!

"There's ONE LAST thing I have to mention: IF the companion you've chosen _hasn't_ chosen _you_, you will STILL go into an early cocoon. You'll be heart-broken and rather lonely, but otherwise none-the-worse-for-wear. It's probably best to do this, actually; you _don't_ want to put up with an _angry spouse_, believe you_ me_!" The instructor shook his head at this, waving his pointer-stick around.

Tak raised a non-existent eyebrow at this, but said nothing. _(A/N: Okay, my mandatory IZ "non-existent eyebrow" comment has been made! Can I please go, now!?)_

"That ...Concludes this lesson! Please, REMEMBER WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED HERE!" The instructor shouted, until the words seemed to seep into the walls and reverberated around them. Then they realized that they were falling, and the next second...

Tak and Dib were outside the door in that same dimly-lit hallway, only this time it was fully-lit. The door they'd just been in was closed, but for some reason it looked much more welcoming than before...

'Well, Dib,' thought Tak as she looked around, 'I guess you were _right_: your family _was_ hiding something important from you!'

'Uluugh!' Thought Dib as he felt like he was awakening from a dream. 'Hey, wait! Where _am_ I?! Did we leave my mind?!...No, no, this doesn't look like it...I _think_ we're still in my mind...!'

'Brilliant observation, kiddo,' thought Tak, then she stopped herself. 'Well, _actually_, I can't call you a _kid_ anymore...'

'What?!' Thought Dib; then the previous instruction came flooding back to his mind, and he felt suddenly very, very, very self-conscious. 'I-I'm, I'm-!' If he was awake, his physical body would've started to blush; because, quite frankly...it was _embarrassing_!

'I guess this means you're actually about 16 or 17...whatever _that_ means...' thought Tak as she rolled her eyes.

'I-uhm, oh, uhm!' Dib was still trying to find thoughts to think, but the obvious embarrassment was making it hard.

The embarrassment and awkwardness of this situation was starting to get to Tak, who finally thought, 'OH, KNOCK IT OFF, ALREADY!' And whacked him up the side of the head.

'Wh-wh-WHAT!?' Exclaimed Dib in shock.

'Have you forgotten_ why_ we're here in the FIRST PLACE?!' She exclaimed; although she herself had momentarily forgotten because of the extraordinary amount of information they'd just acquired. 'It's to _practice_ delving into peoples' _minds_ and _technology_, so that we can _take down_ the Men in Black!'

This focus was a welcome distraction from his embarrassing biology-lesson, and so Dib replied, 'Uh! Yes, OF COURSE!' Even though he didn't know what to do next.

There was a long moment that passed which was very awkward for both of them.

'Erm! Tak, I'm afraid I can't think of anything...' thought Dib, then he thought about how horrified he was to have her in his brain during his highly embarrassing "Puberty Class"... 'I mean, really! It's _scary_! ...*Gasp!*' Dib grabbed his own brain (that was not as hard to do in the mental realm as it is in the physical realm) and said, 'TAK! That's IT!'

'Scary, huh...?' Thought Tak, catching on easily.

'Yes!' Exclaimed Dib excitedly, 'I mean, _think_ about it! What's so horrifying than your _own_ personal FEARS!?'

'I've got to admit, you've got a good point,' agreed Tak, 'Taking on your own fears requires mental awareness and strength of will.'

'Of COURSE!' Dib wasn't done happily ranting, 'I mean, _other_ stuff, you kill it and it STAYS DEAD! But your own fears don't DO that! They'll come right back at you and rip you to _shreds_! And then, they'll take your cold, shivvering body and-'

'ALRIGHT DIB, THAT'S ENOUGH!' Exclaimed Tak, just to get his attention. That rant was going horrible places, fast. 'So, where's your, uh, "Worst Fears Center" located?'

'I'm not sure,' he thought, contemplating this seriously now, 'I mean, I know that right now, we're in my "Safe House", but where's my "Horrible Realm of Ungodly Fears"?'

'Oh, GREAT! Juuuusssttt great!' Tak face-palmed. 'I'm wandering_ blind_ in a blind-man's _mind_ being _guided_ by the blind-man _himself_!'

'Well, it's not like I've done this BEFORE, you know!' Exclaimed Dib, annoyed, 'I mean, I spend the better part of my time trying NOT to be afraid -_don't think_ you don't do the _same thing_!'

'*Sigh* Alright, then I guess the better question would be: exactly where in your brain DON'T you want to go?!' Tak asked, also annoyed.

'Okay! THAT'S the right kind of question!' Replied Dib, throwing his hands up in the air. 'I, uh...well, if we go outside, then, uh...!' He was still at a loss. Although this was a lot like his dream-world, it didn't mean that it functioned in the same way.

'You know,' thought Tak, 'I was wondering, why do you think this place resembles your dream-world?'

Dib just stared at her, confused, 'Uhhh...why? What do you mean? It's inside my _mind_! The dream-world is just your mind makin' stuff up!' Then he paused, 'Well, there_ is_ the obscure science of dream-interpretation...but it's very difficult because different things _mean_ different things to different people!...'

'Okay...so,' thought Tak, getting an answer to her own question, although he didn't know it. 'Then, what would_ you_ equate with ABSOLUTE FEAR?'

'Uhhh...' thought Dib, and as he searched his mind for references, their surroundings started to change. The looming shadows of weird, twisted toys showed, and a teddy-bear rose over all. Then they changed once again to show a large, open field of corn; the corn waved in the wind, although no wind was blowing, and the dark sky overhead thundered and rumbled. It finally changed to a toy-box. Just a plain-old-looking toy-box, dark blue-gray and bright red trim. It looked ominous.

'A toy-box?!' Exclaimed Tak incredulously. 'WHY a little toy-box?!'

Dib just blinked, 'Well, it was the scariest thing I could think of...' then, as she approached it, he shouted, 'DON'T BE FOOLED! It may LOOK like a harmless little toy-box, but, uh...I'm pretty sure it's NOT!'

'You're "pretty sure"?!' She shouted, still incredulous. 'You had your sister's horrifying TOYS to choose from, an odd field of CORN with a THUNDEROUS DARK SKY, and you choose a TOY-BOX to be scared of?!'

'Well...' thought Dib, 'I don't know WHY exactly, but it just _seems_ like it's the embodiment of all that's_ scary_!...Huh.'

Tak sighed, but finally thought, 'Well, alright! You're gonna' have to help me open it, though. This is YOUR mind!'

'But, weren't we working on your mental abilities?' Dib thought, 'You need to become strong enough to force yourself past my will! Otherwise, we'll _never_ beat the Men in Black!' Tak just face-palmed.

'Oh, right! I forgot.' Then she looked up and thought, 'So, what you're saying is: you're _perfectly_ fine if I decimate your consciousness and leave you like a_ rotting vegetable_, lying in a _coma_?'

'Uhrer...!' Thought Dib awkwardly, 'I'd really prefer it if you don't...!'

'Then why don't you open this box for me so that I can _fight_ your _sub-conscious demons_ instead of_ whining_ about it?!' Snapped Tak.

'Oh, al_right_! _Alright_ already!' Thought Dib as he went over to the toy-box. It took a few tries, since his sub-conscious didn't seem to want to allow him to open it, but after some more prodding from Tak, he finally got it open. Stepping away from it, it seemed like it would take forever for something to happen...

Suddenly, several awful horrors rose up from it, dripping with rusty-colored blood, and screaming about dripping bodies. Tak and Dib stared, awestruck, until one of the horrors with twisted metal in its eye started speaking, "Aaahhh! Children's souls for the _taking_!... Children's souls make my heart _ache_...!" At which point, it ripped open its skin and rib-cage, revealing a heart with a wrench tightening on it. "I'll _eat_ and I'll take them back into the toy-box with my own_ bleeding sooouuuulll_!" The graphic image was enhanced by the terrifying sounds and emotions it was putting out. It was at this point that Dib started running.

He grabbed Tak and made a run for it, screaming, 'IT WASN'T MY FAULT, IT WASN'T MY FAULT!...*MOAAAN* I JUST WANTED TO _SEEEEE~EE~EE_ WHAT WAS _IN IIIIITTT_!'

Tak stared at him in complete shock, then finally thought, 'DIB! SNAP_ OUT_ OF IT! IT'S JUST IN YOUR_ MIND_!'

'I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW! THAT'S WHERE IT_ IIIISSS_!' He screamed in his mind, hoping and trying to run from it.

'DIB, _WHAT_ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! WHERE DID THIS THING _COME_ FROM? _WHERE_ DID YOU SEE THIS!? WAS IT ON A _MOVIE_ OR SOMETHING!? WHAAAAT?' Tak was trying her hardest to make him stop, but his own mind was swirling, and he wouldn't stop running.

'IT EATS CHILDREN'S _SOOOUUUULLLSSS_! IT'S GONNA' EAT _EVERYBODY_!' Dib gasped as he screamed, 'AND IT'S GONNA' EAAATTT_ MEEEEEEEEE_!' Then he shrieked, 'IT'S ALL MY _FAAUUULLLTTT_!'

'DIB, _WHAT_ CHILDREN?!' She exclaimed, '_YOU'RE_ A _MOTHMAN_, YOU'RE TECHNICALLY _SIXTEEN_! AND _I'M_ AN _AAADUUULLLT_!'

'I'M- I'M-!' Exclaimed Dib, his mind still whirling, 'I'VE GOTTA' GET_ OUT_ OF HERE! I'VE GOT A _STINKIN' NIGHTMARE WOOORRRLLLDDD_!' Tak tried to plant her feet and scream even louder than he was. But it was lost in his head.

Finally, Tak decided on a different strategy, 'DIB!_ I'M_ here NOW!' She exclaimed, '_I'LL_ destroy those MONSTERS! Just STOP RUNNING and we can _BEAT_ THEM!'

It took several tries of reassurance, but he slowed down enough so that Tak could talk to him. 'Dib, I _know_ you're scared, but THINK about it!'

'Think about_ whaaattt_?!' Asked Dib, 'They're HORRIFYING _MONSTERRRS_!'

'THEY'RE just _FIGMENTS_ OF YOUR _IMAGINATION_!' Exclaimed Tak, 'And besides!_ I'M_ here! We can always use the POWER of the NECKLACE to_ BEAT_ _THEM_!'

Dib finally was starting to slow down when he said, 'Y-YEAH! ...But, I think...that I...! I _remember_ them from somewhere, some_time_, and they WERE real!'

'Well, they aren't real NOW!' Exclaimed Tak in irritation, 'If it _really_ was such a _bad memory_, then HOW did you get OUT of that situation!? Come on, THINK about it!'

'Well, I, uh...!' His mind slowed and he stopped to consider this. 'I think that I, uh...' the last bit of memory showed his mom picking him up and shutting the toy-box, saying something.

What was it...? Oh, yeah...! "Now, honey! Don't play with Maman's Nightmares Box. It's a little scary..." she was holding him and speaking softly, twirling his tiny hair-scythe. He felt comfy, safe, and protected...even from that horrible box of nightmares!

'Aaahhh...!' Thought Tak, '_I_ see now! You have such an early memory that it impressed itself too deeply upon your psyche...that's all.'

'THAT'S ALL?!' Thought Dib, 'You think this isn't SCARY?!'

'NO!' Shouted Tak, making him flinch in his mind, 'BUT the first memories are sometimes the STRONGEST!'

'Alright, _alright_!' Thought Dib, 'But I still don't understand why my maman -er, mom- had a Box of Nightmares! ...I mean, it's not like...is it...?!' Suddenly his mind was starting to put the pieces together. 'Maybe_ that's_ why there's a horrible nightmare-world inside my head?' He thought, remembering his Halloween escapade with Zim last year. He'd found out about his own twisted, nightmarish imagination when he was plunged into another dimension.

'Dib, what_ happened_...?!' Asked Tak, still slightly confused by the weird range of images floating by from his memory. The inferences were vague; sometimes his thoughts went so fast it was hard to concentrate on any one thing. She needed to work on that. Other peoples' minds were difficult to decipher, let _alone_ understand!

'Oh! Well, you see, it all started around Halloween-time,' he thought, regaling her with the full account. '...And THEN, I actually had to TURN myself INSIDE-OUT in order to GET BACK to my own world!' He then grinned, 'I was impressed with THAT one!'

'Yeah...ah...not many people would consider turning themselves INSIDE-OUT as a possible escape-route, let _alone_ actually be able to turn BACK again!' Tak thought, slightly creeped out, yet impressed. 'But, it _does_ sound interesting! Hmmm...speaking of which, sometimes I wonder whose mind _our_ little universe is made out of, and if they're having any fun with it!...'

'What?' Asked Dib, now thoroughly confused.

'Oh, _you know_! Every place is made up by _some_one!' She explained easily. 'Oh, wait -your people usually believe in Evolution...so you may not be familiar with that theory.'

'Huh? ...Wait, your people _don't_ believe in some kind of Evolutionary theory?! _Why_?' He asked, disbelievingly.

'Well, did you actually expect that an_ alien race_ would have the very same ideas on the _origins of the Universe_?' She laughed, 'That's just _stupid_!'

'Well, I, uh... Don't really think about it, much,' admitted Dib with a pout, 'I guess I just took it for granted because my dad _said_ it was!...Huh!' He was now reconsidering his various beliefs. If he'd continued this, it would've taken all the live-long day, so Tak snapped him out of it.

'I'll explain the commonly-held idea in _our_ area of the universe,' thought Tak, 'This is a pretty common belief amongst most of us, especially with the many experimental devices made to travel between universes. That was outlawed, though...too many people coming back riding little clown-bicycles...!'

'Uh...cool! And _tough_...' thought Dib, wondering what in the _heck_ could've happened to make people come back riding those tiny bikes...and _how_ in the heck they could_ ride_ the danged things in the_ first_ place!

'The basic principle lies in the idea of an infinite number of universes. Each universe is created by someone's thoughts or ideas, or perhaps even a story. The person (or persons, as the case may be) is considered to be the _creator_, and thusly able to make, change, or destroy, any part of the universe according to their will. The idea is that _our_ universe's current course, or general series of events, is guided by_ their will_, and not of our own initiative... But we still have to face the consequences of our own actions. Do you understand?' Tak finished, looking closely at him.

'Wait...if _that's_ true, then what we're doing RIGHT NOW isn't our OWN choice, but the will of some kind of MYSTERIOUS CREATOR?' Asked Dib with a curious look on his face. 'That's just WEIRD!'

'NOT weird; after all, YOU were just saying that that "alternate-dimension Nightmare place" that you and Zim were stuck in was the product of YOUR OWN IMAGINATION!' Tak explained rather patiently and slowly...yet still irritated by his constant slowness. They needed to hurry and get back to work!

'Well-! But, I, uhm!' After trying and failing to find a good excuse, Dib thought, 'So, we don't know WHO is the creator of our universe?! I mean, it could be just some fat, 40-something-year-old guy who sits around at his computer reading fan-fiction!? Or a GHOST!?' The fourth-wall shook and rattled a little bit.

'Well...I guess it all depends...' thought Tak, sincerely trying to answer this question, 'If the creator _wills_ it, then yes -but some people create universes for _stories_, and stuff like that. Sometimes whole _groups_ of people are involved... And then there's the people who would just LOVE to have an _entire universe_ where everyone serves and worships them, night and day, just to boost their own _ego_...!' she remembered someone in particular who seemed to have that mentality: Zim.

Dib giggled a bit at the Zim reference, but then said, 'Well, I _guess_ it's okay... Just as long as we have some of our_ own free-will_!'

'_That's_ the problem; nobody knows!' Replied Tak thoughtfully, 'I mean, _who's_ to say which events the person who created us is controlling _themselves_, and which ones they let us do on our own? The main idea of a person in Alternate Universe creating _another_ requires a certain amount of detail in order to make it function. But to _control_ absolutely everything AT EVERY MOMENT would be...it would be...'

'GOD-like?' Thought Dib with a little smirk. 'I think I see what you're getting at.'

'BUT, not everyone who_ creates_ an alternate universe FROM an alternate universe is necessarily a GOD!' Replied Tak simply. 'Unless we know_ which_ universe and _who_ created us, it's really no use to contemplate.'

'So, your entire species_ believes_ in this kind of stuff?' Asked Dib. 'It seems like it'd be pretty easy to just claim that anything they do is, "The will of our creator!" and leave it at _that_!'

'Well...yes and no,' thought Tak, trying to explain this carefully so he wouldn't misunderstand. He seemed to consider the issue of morality of the highest regard, but... It required several hundred years of Irken history, as well as understanding the underlying social orders and mentality of their people, especially after they'd made contact with other species and... 'I'd _like_ to explain in detail, but since you don't even have an understanding of Irken history, it'd be quite hard. But other species have very similar theories; so this basic principle seems easy enough to translate...

'Although we as Irkens believe that structure and order are necessary for everyone to thrive peacefully, the actual conquering of planets only began in the last couple of hundred years or so. The Empire wanted to_ expand_, but many other planets liked their independence. To send in an army would_ decimate_ the_ planet_; so_ Invaders_, who could subjugate the populace _without_ damaging the_ useful parts_ were chosen to infiltrate those worlds. It worked well; but there_ have_ been complaints regarding the use of each of the planets and their people.'

Dib blinked. 'Huh. I thought it was just 'cause you guys thought you were _better_ than everyone else.'

'Well, that too,' thought Tak with a smirk, 'But, who knows? Maybe we could turn out to be _right_?'

It was Dib's turn to smirk, 'Hah! Yeah, right! ...And besides, I've been looking at some of those files on the conquered planets! They're almost all used for only ONE THING! How exactly is that _useful_?!'

'Well, I, uh-' thought Tak, realizing that she didn't know the reason for it, 'Don't look at me! _I'm_ not the one who decides what to do with them! I mean, unless the planet is particularly _useful_ in military or economic ways, the Tallest will get to choose. The Control-brains are the main leaders, you know.' She actually thought he knew this...as it turned out, he hadn't gotten that far into his studies of the Irken culture yet.

'What?! Wait, you mean the Tallest don't ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING?!' Exclaimed Dib in shock. '...That...makes a lot of _sense_, actually... Huh.'

'What, I thought you KNEW!' Exclaimed Tak, 'EVERYBODY knows THAT! Even the _Morkians_ on the far-off planet of the backwater Tourniquet Nebula, MORK, know THAT!'

'Uh, hel-LO!' Shouted Dib, waving his hand in front of her, 'Planet in the RURALS of the Milky Way galaxy! Hasn't had_ any_ official NEWS or CONTACT with other ALIEN RACES!'

'Oh...of course,' thought Tak, feeling a bit silly, 'I apologize, then.'

'THANK-you!' Replied Dib, folding his arms with a "huff".

'I mean, it's just that, you've been studying Irkens, and I thought that-'

'TAK! That's enough! I KNOW that!' Exclaimed Dib in annoyance, 'Let's just get this thing OVER WITH!'

'Oh, alright!' Thought Tak with a sigh. 'What's next? We still need to confront that horrible nightmare-in-a-box, and we need to work on our mental battling!'

'...Wait, maybe we're going about this_ all wrong_...?' Dib's mind had already skipped ahead. 'I mean, what if what you _really_ need to work on is _digging_ -trying to get to the root of stuff?'

'Then I'll STILL have to decimate their consciousness, Dib!' Replied Tak in annoyance.

'Oh... Then, let's head back over to the_ horrible_ little toy-box...' he thought with a sigh. He wasn't as afraid of it as he once was, but there was still this slight sense of trepidation.

As they approached it again, the feeling increased, and soon Dib was trailing behind Tak, using her as a shield. Oh, well...! She couldn't expect his previous, instantly-decided courage to last long. 'It's okay, it can't _hurt_ us, you know?' She said this reassuringly, hoping he and his fears wouldn't try to engulf them. But, it never_ did_ work out as well as all that. Dib apparently had an _awful_ lot of fear.

The giant things loomed up out of the toy-box again; yet she didn't back down. They hissed in her face and glared down at her, enwrapping her in fog and their own bodies; for a minute, she panicked. Then she saw that it really was just imagination, and kicked herself for forgetting about that. She fought back at them, but the increasing amount of fear was overwhelming. She began to consider that _maybe_ she was in over her head. But, _Dib_ was here...!

'DIIIB! Hey, _DIB_!' Exclaimed Tak, 'THINK! I NEED YOU TO _THIIINK_ ABOUT HOW TO _DEFEAT_ THESE THINGS!' The creatures continued pummeling her mentally, disturbing mental images and terrifying emotions driving at her as they tried to crush her like a boa-constrictor. The imagined feelings were overpowering, and she felt like she really could _feel_ that smell. What _was_ this horrifying thing?! Were all dreams _always_ like this?! It felt maddening, and she wanted to rip it all off and kill it...but she was trapped inside the crushing constriction-boa!...

No, wait! No, she wasn't! 'SHoooOOOOOOHHH! GO _AWAY_!' She shouted in his head as she broke free from the constriction using her PAK-legs. Without any question, this was still just as a dream -and one could _control_ their own imagination, even inside a dream! She wondered what Dib would say they called that, but she didn't have time to consider it as she pulled out a _really_ deadly laser-blaster and fired. She didn't have a _really_ deadly laser-blaster with her; but here in the mind, she could do_ anything_ she wanted! Even having a _non-existent weapon_!

Dib watched on as the scary things engulfed her, the paralyzing fear of the toy-box looming horribly. He felt as if he could do nothing:_ no one_ would help, even if he ran screaming to someone, and his mother wasn't here to make it all go away...! He pulled his knees up and grabbed onto his hair, almost screaming. 'There's _no one_! NO ONE!' His screams and shrieks were cut short as a very familiar shout pierced his conscious sub-consciousness: it was Tak's voice. Well, her _mental_ voice...

'DIB! IT'S JUST IN YOUR _IMAGINATIOOON_! SO -UGH! _USE_ UH- YOUR _IMAGINAAAATIOOOONNN_!' She shouted as fiercely and as forcefully as she could in his consciousness' direction, although she didn't quite try to focus on it. It was tough communicating with someone AND battling with force against their fears. The dense fog was pierced by this, not because of the shriek's sound-waves or force, but because she_ seriously_ sounded like she was having a hard time battling those fears for him...those were _his_ fears -shouldn't _he_ have battled them?!

All the other fears which he had -paranoia of being attacked by crazy aliens, paranormal creatures, and government agents- along with his societal fears of being completely hated and shunned by everyone, even his own family-members; all those hung around the outside edges, just waiting to pounce on him in his moment of weakness.

But the one thing that stood out, was his other fear: his fear that, just_ once_, when he could've actually _saved_ someone, he just stood by and watched it happen. It was a guilty, awful feeling; that feeling as if he'd just _turned_ _on his_ _partner_ and _used her_ to _destroy_ _everyone_ on the planet -or even _worse_! Turned her_ in_ to the Men in Black, and JOINED THEM! The idea that he would just_ sit_ there and _watch_, that he would do absolutely NOTHING to save her, the idea that she could die and... He suddenly realized: this place had a _massive_ psychological effect on someone. So, what if they _died_ in here!?

Tak had never dreamed before! _She_ could be psychologically _scarred_ and even _mentally destroyed_ if they let things continue on like this! Wait, if she was an alien who didn't _dream_, then how in the heck did she know about lucid-dreaming?!

Then, suddenly, he smiled and the world seemed brighter, but only in the way that made his paranoid fears try to get stronger to gear up for a final attack. 'I'M COMING, LUCID-DREAMING_ AAAA-TAAAAKKKKK_!'

That totally bad pun was entirely intentional as he launched himself into the toy-box. A couple of explosions and some really stinky rotting fish-guts later... (Don't ask me_ why_ there were rotting fish-guts, 'cause there just _were_!)

'Geeze, DIB!' Thought Tak as she sat in a puddle of gelatinous goo, 'Why's your paranoia and fear so _strong_ in here!?' She didn't even need to say her next statement, but she just did, 'It's your _own brain_, so it should be the_ safest_ place you can _think_ of!'

'Yeah,' Dib spat things out of his mouth that he'd rather not learn the names of, 'I_ know_! I guess it's- *Pwewh!* -because nothing ever goes well for me!' He leaned back into the goop, thinking.

Instead of being a whining sort of comment, this one was more of a statement on his psychological influences; and so she let it slide. Instead, she thought, 'Well, I think we've had about _enough_ adventure for _one_ psycho-nautted trip!'

'Psycho-nautted!?' Asked Dib in surprise, 'Where'd you get _that_?'

'Dunno; I guess I just pulled it together from the random scraps of the word "astronaut" and "psychotic" in your own mind...!' She then put a finger to her lip and giggled, 'Hee hee hee, that sounds almost childish, or like something from a video-game! That also reminds me: are there any _other_ people who would be curious as to what you've been up to, spying in your house?'

The fourth wall was obviously not enjoying all the flagrant flings in its direction, but these characters couldn't hear or feel its apparent distaste of this. The author continued on, undaunted.

'Uhm...you mean, BESIDES the obvious "Speritica-security" that I'm pretty sure is going on around me, not to _mention_ the fact that the Men in Black are still watching the house, I can't think of anyone _else_...' He nodded and wandered off into his own head, thinking. Tak even had to grab him because he'd wandered off. 'What? We're done with the fear-centers of my brain, what _now_?!'

'That's _fine_, just don't go _wandering off_!' Tak laughed, and then wondered why she'd done this. It almost seemed too fun, yet it was probably just the rush from the adrenaline...there wasn't anything else funny going on, after all! She'd just _battled_ a little boy's -er, young adult's?- fears and _finally_ won out over them, only to have to _chase after him_ like a wandering little lamb! The funny irony finally caught up with her, and she doubled over with laughter.

'What! WHAT?!' Exclaimed Dib, now fully awakened from his own musings to observe an especially loud laughter and mirth coming from Tak! It was...disturbing...well, what they'd just did was too weird, and...! 'This-! This has been the absolute WORST thing, EVER!' He started shouting, and eventually was contorted in giggles at the very idea of it.

'WHY am I battling deep-seated FEARS in a YOUNG CHI-ER, ADULT'S MIND?!' Exclaimed Tak again, but the laughter from this didn't stop her there, 'I mean, I'M supposed to be an INVADER!'

'And yet, YOU'RE _INVADING_ THIS YOUNG-ADULT'S MIND!' Exclaimed Dib in just as amused a fashion. They both collapsed into giggles before the thoughts and feelings of hilarity eventually faded. Embarrassing revelations about puberty and deep-seated psychological fears, all in _one_ _night_?! Absolutely marvelous~!

The two had finally stopped laughing, and found themselves wandering into other parts of his brain -because, quite frankly, almost_ nothing_ was as horrifying or as embarrassing as what they'd just been in- but as they'd meandered along, Dib came to find that was not the case.

'Tak, where is this coch-coch-what'd you call it again? A coccyx? A cockle? Anyways, where's it lead to?' They were walking along a winding path, which looked misty and open, full of fog and forgotten stairways. The right side had a lot of ivy overgrowing one low wall, and to the left was the open fog, complete with the howling of the wind! Eerie, and yet mournful and peaceful, all at once.

'It's called a-' she stopped as she realized that there really was no Eenglish equivalent...! 'In any case, it means a long, narrow path illuminated by dimly-lit light, and looking ominous. _Geeze_, Dib! If you have so much of this stuff in here, it's little wonder why you're so _mopey_ all the time!' Then she paused in her steps and looked around, 'Dib...? Where'd you wander off to?' She felt like adding "this time" to the end of that sentence, but Dib's faint words interrupted hers.

'Hey, Tak! LOOKIT THIS! I FOU-whoOOOHPHS!' And he fell down, right into the weirdly-hidden door covered over by lots and lots of ivy. He'd wondered what that weirdly-covered door was for, and he soon felt highly...not right...in all senses of naughty.

The various feelings around him seemed to swim in bizarre brushing motions, smooth and pleasurable, and very scary to him, the young person who'd just stumbled into them. The warmth of another person's skin against his cheek was not so strange, but the feelings associated with it were...unusual. The feeling of heightened energy and an underlying current of fear accompanied the adrenaline as he stared, wide-eyed, at the dimly-lit and, honestly, weirdest thing he'd ever encountered.

This just tipped the scales of what he'd felt was awful and downright horrifying, and the weirder thing was, that...it was mysteriously _interesting_. Interesting in the way that he'd never even thought of it or felt it before, and he tentatively wished he could understand it... 'HEY! DIB! THERE you are! Getting WAAAY in over your BIG HEAD again, huh?' Came the sound of the highly familiar voice, and a hand reached in and grabbed him, just as the sensation of softness was brushing past his mouth. It was almost so _enticing_, yet he wanted desperately to get out of there..._interesting_ and _fearful_. Like his _life_...!

Tak dragged him out of the weird opening which he'd been paralyzed in, and finally he realized that he _wasn't_ comatose, and could indeed walk and speak. 'Th-that! W-WHY-! WHAT was_ that_!?' He exclaimed in shuddering combined interest/horror.

'Well...' shutting the door revealed its real name, and she winced as she really REALLY wished she could reverse what had happened. 'It says, "The Garden of Amore`"! Er, _please_, don't say that this has opened yet _another_ horrifying, instinctual part of your mind!' Tak pleaded, giving a disgusted and, frankly, weirded-out look to his equally weirded-out face. The response from him was at _least_ relieving. Well, it was a_ hopeful_ kind of reassurance; that much was_ all_ she could expect.

'W-W-WHAT!?' Exclaimed Dib, trying to process this and running the previous events through his mind shamelessly, until he finally realized exactly what he had to be embarrassed about. 'OH NO! OH, NO, OH, NO, OH NO, OHNO OH_NO!' He grabbed his head tightly and then turned his back on her, too scared to even think about facing her consciousness -even though it was really just her consciousness' avatar.

Tak just sighed and thought, 'OH great! I'm stuck in ABSOLUTELY the WORST SITUATION!' She considered how many Invaders had been attempted-romance victims, and how they'd failed. 'There was a REASON why Irkens don't reproduce like THAT anymore!' She sighed and hung her head, face-palming. The revealed annoyance caused Dib to over-think exactly how annoying it really was, and tried to reassure her. Of course, it was only doomed to fail.

Normally, one would say that it was the THOUGHT that counts; but, in this case...that wasn't so!

'GULGH! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! IT- IT'S NOT MY FAULT! AAAUUURRRGHHHS!' Dib exclaimed, clutching his head in angst, then, 'I don't even HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU! ALRIGHT!? Let's get that PERFECTLY CLEAR! I HAVE _NO_ FEELINGS, _FOR YOU_!' He shouted as he waved his arms around, almost turning to face her; although in here, direction did nothing to hide anything, as things could be see-through, and therefore not hid.

Thinking back to his previous "Instinctual Instruction" classes, Tak just grimaced; this was going to be a little hard to explain. He was far too deep into denial to even begin to understand it...! But, she tried to, just for the heck of it. 'Dib, get a HOLD of yourself!' She shook him by the arms, then he jumped back at the "physical contact" and just stared at her, wide-eyed. 'It's kind-of _obvious_ from our previous instruction about moth-men, that you're just at that_ stage_ -you know, puberty?' She sighed as his eyes went wide and he looked shocked again. It was just_ pathetic_ if he was like this...!

Dib's wide-eyed awful wonderment went from fear to alarmed thoughts on how he could stop that pitiful, amorous state. 'That-THAT'S_ NOT_ GOING TO HAPPEN!' As he said this, he'd backed further and further away from her, showing himself successful ideas of how he could get over this. _Not_ fall in love like a blubbering idiot, and end up heartbroken in a cocoon like that. NOT be attracted to a woman who was clearly _older_ than him, _and_ an alien!.. The weirdness just CONTINUED~!

'Oh, come _on_, Dib! It's not that bad,' Tak tried to reassure him, but to tell the truth, she had absolutely _no_ idea how falling in love felt, nor did she _want_ to! She just wanted to get_ out_ of his head, before he convinced himself that he'd better seal them _both_ up inside cocoon before she got away from him!

Dib's eyes frantically scanned back and forth between the secret garden of romantic love and his Irken, clearly-not-interested-partner, before: '_I_ KNOW! I CAN JUST..._SEAL THE DOOR_!' He instantly bounded out, shutting the door closed frantically, even though it tried so hard to stay open just a smidgen of a little crack. He put some boards up and nailed them across it, then pulled the various types of ivy down and turned to her, saying, 'SEE?! It's JUST _PERFECT_!'

Tak just stared at him in his worst case of denial and thought, 'Oh, PERFECT! Dib, if you're already _aware_ it -you know what? Nevermind! I'm _sick_ and _tired_ of dealing with your mental messes! I just want to get OUT OF THIS- THIS- _MENTAL MEAT-LOCKER_, and INTO MY _OWN_ MIND, ONCE _AGAIN_!' Tak's moaning went unnoticed as Dib considered the idea of staying in his own mind and discovering various things that he wanted not to exist...!

'Good. I'll meet you outside!' Was all he thought as he disappeared from the conversation. Well, he couldn't _really_ do that because they were in his own mind! So...

'_Wonderful_,' thought Tak in the understatement of the year as she tried to remember just how in the heck to get out of there... 'Oh, _yeah_! It was just like that-!' And at that, she'd removed herself from his horrible, pubescent mind.

And removed the head-gear monitoring her condition _immediately_!

'Phew! Am I glad_ that's_ over!' Then, looking back to her horrifying parter whose mind she'd just meandered and fought in, she thought, 'Hhhm...looks like he's not awake. And that brain-monitoring equipment must be removed and taken care of... And I don't like the idea of going _back_ into his mind...in fact, I think I'll just _leave_!...'

And she did.

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TO BE CONTINUED...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yes, I know that it was a rather revealing chapter, but you'll have to wait for the last little one to read the notes on it! *Laughs* TRUCKS BE TRUCKIN'! _COOOONVOOOYYYY_!

LOOK...TO THE FUTURE UPDATES AND THAT CHAPTER-DROP-DOWN-THINGY~! -


	10. Flamingo, Mine, or Mustard? Finally!

DISCLAIMER: Ditto, ditto, ditto!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: FINALLY! It's just the last little tail-end of the thing, but I think it wraps it up quite well! In any case, the notes on THE WHOLE CHAPTER are at the bottom! (Behold, me and my novel-long chapters on a fan-fiction! *Laughs*)

On a SPECIAL UPDATED NOTE: Just to make sure nobody gets freaked out, or nothing, don't worry! There's no "physical love" *hint hint, nudge nudge* in this story! I know it's a DATR, but it's really more along the lines of EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT than physical, romantic stuff...so no, don't worry...no sex!

(UPDATE: Added more notes which I'd forgotten...)

...IT IS CONTINUED...FOR THE LAST TIME!:

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Dib hadn't felt _this_ horrified or humiliated ever since one of the kids had pulled his pants down -briefs and all- in front of a whole skool assembly!... He sat up and pulled his head-gear off, glad for once to find that Tak was already gone.

'Glad for _once_,' he thought numbly to himself, 'Yeah...'

He sat there and stared in stunned silence, awed at what that awful event had uncovered. It hadn't been _fun_, it had been _frightening_ and_ humiliating_ and _awful_, all rolled into one great big jaw-breaker of life that he unfortunately had to suck on. It was _his_ life, after all.

Life sucked.

He just hit himself in the head with the pillow. It worked best; wouldn't cause any damage.

Wouldn't kill brain-cells.

As if he'd had any to _begin_ with!

Just like Tak had said.

He screamed into his pillow as he realized that he was thinking of this.

Pillows...they can muffle screams and bullets, and make pounding your head in frustratingly silly...!

But, they apparently couldn't stop him from thinking...

He wished his brain would shut off.

He wished the world would quit getting weirder and weirder at his expense!

He wished...he didn't have to grow up.

But life went on, uninterrupted, whether he wanted it to, or not. He could _scream_ and throw a fit.

Life didn't care!

But...he did. Why did the _only_ ones who cared have to be the small, insignificant, sentient beings who inhabited planetary spheres?! Why did he have to have such a _horrifying_ realization, _just_ when he was intent on setting everything _right_?!

Just _why_ did everything have to be so_ hard_ all the time!?

Although Tak could've easily heard this and poked him about "whining about things and degrading himself", she didn't, and he was glad of it.

The truth was, that _neither_ of them wanted to be even anywhere_ near_ the other's mind as they were thinking of the events that had transpired. But the truth was, he wished that he could hear her annoyed, angry voice telling him that all he was worried about was _stupid_, and that he should just pay attention to their _mission_ -_that_ was what they were_ partners_ for- their _combined mission_! That was what she would say, right?

Right...?!

He found himself sitting up and almost choking on the lump in his throat as he considered this thought.

Though Tak had actually withdrawn out of fear, he couldn't really sense such a feeling from her -it was more of "creeped out", essentially.

Thinking that he had to carry on was the _only_ thing that kept him from hiding under his pillows and covers in fear, horror, and humiliation. Thinking that was the only thing he _could_ think, because as far as _they_ were concerned, thinking anything _else_ was both unsanitary and _disgusting_!

If he found himself thinking otherwise, then he might very well have considered himself crazy.

But he_ wasn't_ crazy, he wasn't _insane_!

He was just a simple, ordinary half-human, half-moth-caterpillar boy, who had grown up in very non-insane surroundings, under _normal_ and _ordinary_ circumstances. So, what if half his entire family was some sort of _crazy_ mix of monstrous matriarchy and mad science mayhem?! So _what_ if he wasn't as normal as he was?! So WHAT?!

At least _he_ was sane!

At least,_ he_ wasn't the one who was _insane_...!

Apparently, LIFE was!

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

SEE?! I _TOLD_ YOU IT'D BE WEIRD! I _TOLD_ YOUS I'D WRITE IT! BUT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME! _WHY_ DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME!? *Pulls out a gun and shoots* Technically, you TOTALLY SHOULD'VE believed me... *Blows out smoking barrel* Yah...

THE "BIG-EYES MOTH", OR "ALYPIA OCULUSMAGNUS":  
Does NOT exist! Also, there is no moth, that I know of, which finds its mate before it makes a cocoon, like this one. I know, _I know~_! I tried so hard with internet-searches, but I couldn't find it! I suppose it was just a product of my horrible imagination, eh? Well, if one _does_ show up, don't I get first dibs?! (Just realized the terrible pun here...*Shuts eyes* THE HORROR!)

In any case, don't worry about trying to look the Big Eyes Moth up! Because I MADE IT UP! Just to be clear on that. (All the other moths mentioned are REAL, though.)

The name, incidentally, was taken from the "Goonies" commentary! They mentioned that the most common direction they got was, "Big eyes!" Sos I thought, "That's so_ perfect_ for _Dib_!" And there you have it~!

"DARK RAVEN TEA":  
I originally wanted to name it the "Dark Hair Tea", but then the idea occurred to me that lots of people like to say, "the raven-haired boy" when narrating in their 'fics, and I just COULDN'T pass up a chance to use it, so the tea's name is actually just a reference to how his hair is as black as a raven. _And_ some jokes about the fandom itself... Uh-huh! Nothin' out of the ordinary, here! *Laughs*

And now, for your _personal enjoyment_, some Dr. Seuss lyrics that never made it into his books! Which, stands to reason, since they were written several YEARS after he'd DIED! *Laughs* Nitty nutty natty nanny ninny!

THE "MILKY-WAY" THAT CHEWIE USES IS:  
A super-cool version of the Samsung Galaxy phone, one that combines all the cute useful fun of a tablet with a phone, and still has enough processing power to be used as a small lap-top. It's the state-of-the-art technology that I'm HOPING will become real soon enough! The IZ universe seems to be some sort of alternate future, sos...WHEEES! Zamzung Milky-way Phonelets FTW!

TZ:  
Anyone who guesses the "Twilight Zone" reference, you're GREAT! Just 'cause that episode ROCKS! (Although it's not my absolutely_ fave~_!)

"VAMPIRES WEAR TUXEDOES, NOT SUITS":  
There was once a little book, I can't remember what it was, but the one thing that I loved about it was that each chapter had an entire line for a name! *Laughs* And one of them was a conversation about a bunch of "Men in black suits" that the main characters had seen running around their town. I stopped reading it about halfway through -because, quite frankly, I didn't like the idea that the Men in Black are actually aliens- and I was rather bored with it because it was a young-adult book. I never read at my own age-level unless something terrible had happened, like boredom...or I was at school! Which is pretty-much the same! Sos here's the reference to a little book I didn't care to finish reading at all because it wasn't challenging enough, but had rather amusing chapter-titles!

OTHER STUFFS:  
I can't think of much else, but that the little funny dreams Dib's having about floating in outerspace and bright lights are a weasel towards another little plot-bunny of mine, but I just can't say which...! *Laughs* Maybe after I finish this story and the one after it?

WAIT, WHAT?!:

To clarify the reason why I went this weird route: it simply has to do with time!

Honestly, it's hard when people make those giant time-jumps in this fandom, since it's like sssooo much has happened in between the times when we last saw the characters, and the times we DO see don't quite make sense...

To be honest, I'm not the same exactly as I was when I was ten or eleven. Granted, I'm in my late twenties, now, but seriously, folks! I wasn't even the same four years later! If I tried a GIANT TIME-LEAP of about seven years and make Dib 18 instead of 11, I'd be doing leaving out a LOT of character-development...

The same problem comes up when Dib IS actually different: we haven't SEEN any of the adventures he's gone on, and so he's completely another person! Fan-fiction has the hardest time even KEEPING characters IN-CHARACTER, that I found it'd be far too inconvenient to try doing a sum-up in each paragraph, explaining what's been going on in his life. And even little flash-backs would amount to basically the same as actually WRITING EVERYTHING OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE! *Laughs*

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WHOO-HOOS! Teh 3|\|D IS HERE! WHEEEEEEEEES! Pretty-please, don't forget to poke me if there's anything you want to tell me! Or, you can just review~! *Giggles* Thanksies for sticking with me for this HORRIBLY-LONG and ANNOYING problem of the uploading one chapter! *Laughs* I've already started on the next one, sos hopefully it'll be done soon~!

TTFN, Ta Ta For Nows~!


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